Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 9, 2016 15:12:33 GMT -5
Hey, how did I get roped into the religious discussion? Yes it could be part of the problem, but it's a red herring if that's all you are focused on. Just like it's a red herring to paint all fraternities as the root cause as someone else did in the other thread. Abstinence-only education leaves a lot to be desired, and unfortunately this is another area. If you just tell kids: don't do it! Then any sex is "wrong" - to them consentual and coerced sex look the same. Both are bad things. It happens a lot in the more conservative families, as we all saw with the Duggar debacle last year. The other side of this, that I see a lot in circles I've been in, is the issue of marital rape. I have been in church sessions where it's been said that a woman has no right to refuse her husband. Thank you.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 9, 2016 15:30:16 GMT -5
I live in the deep South, consent never comes up to STUDENTS because they only condone teaching abstinence only. Period. If, as Archie said, the conversation is too awkward for parent and/or child, they might never be exposed to the idea of consent. If that's the case, why is the problem just as bad everywhere else in the western world? Why is it getting worse as time goes on? I don't know that it is getting worse. I just think women are more likely to report rape now, we have media who helps us hear about it and we have a better understanding of the definition. For MANY years the police, and people in general, defined rape as being assaulted by a stranger. Being raped by a date or your husband didn't count. For that reason, many women never even bothered to report the incident.
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Jun 9, 2016 16:06:02 GMT -5
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 9, 2016 16:17:32 GMT -5
So the theory is that men are forcing themselves on women because it's not easy to talk about sex, including asking permission? yes. that is my theory. Man and woman are fooling around. Man decides to try to go further. so he does. Woman is not quite sure but is embarrassed to say anything. Man tries something else. Seems to be working. Woman still not sure by she didn't stop the other thing so now she feels weird about stopping this thing. Man keeps going until sex is over and woman is wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of man and woman being able to say easily and clearly to eachother "do you want to have sex?" It is a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people. Hell I stopped dating a guy (34 if the age matters, so not a young kid) because after explicitly telling him we're not having sex and he says he understands yet less than fifteen minutes later he's taking off my clothes. And then looked confused when I pushed him off me and put my clothes back in the right spot. He said he understood when I said no sex but I guess he decided that I changed my mind in those fifteen minutes and didn't need to ask me. He probably has no idea why I never talked to him again.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jun 9, 2016 16:36:36 GMT -5
As the father of two teenaged boys (15&18) I can honestly say that I never spoke with them about rape. However, I would be one of the first to condem them if they were responsible. I believe all children learn from their parents, and my boys have learned to respect women, all women at all times by observing the things I say, and the way I treat my wife. If I was constantly saying negative things about women, or sexually degrading them in front of my boys, it wouldn't take long for them to mimic that behavior. So how do we fix the problem? In my mind is start acting like responsible adults and be good role models for your children, teach them what it means to show respect and never take physical advantage of someone (male or female), just because you can. It's not too late. Please talk to your sons about consent. Giving consent and getting consent from their partners. Anything less than an enthusiastic yes is a no. They are at an age where you still have a chance to have this conversation.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 9, 2016 16:44:17 GMT -5
As the father of two teenaged boys (15&18) I can honestly say that I never spoke with them about rape. However, I would be one of the first to condem them if they were responsible. I believe all children learn from their parents, and my boys have learned to respect women, all women at all times by observing the things I say, and the way I treat my wife. If I was constantly saying negative things about women, or sexually degrading them in front of my boys, it wouldn't take long for them to mimic that behavior. So how do we fix the problem? In my mind is start acting like responsible adults and be good role models for your children, teach them what it means to show respect and never take physical advantage of someone (male or female), just because you can. It's not too late. Please talk to your sons about consent. Giving consent and getting consent from their partners. Anything less than an enthusiastic yes is a no. They are at an age where you still have a chance to have this conversation. yes. My son is 6.5. For now, we stick with no/stop means no/stop. And keeping our arms, etc. to ourselves. He and dd have recently started hitting each other again so we're back to basics...
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quince
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Post by quince on Jun 9, 2016 16:52:54 GMT -5
I'm hoping it ends up being a developmentally appropriate elaboration on respecting people and their personal space. No hitting, no touching when someone tells you no, no throwing things at, no sex without the partner's buy-in. When appropriate, add in conversations about complicating factors such as age restrictions and impairment, social expectations and gender stereotypes. When they get older I will need to read up on the local laws regarding age differences- I know age of consent in CA is 18, and I know a lot of kids don't wait until they are legally adults, and definitely guidance needs to be given for a kid 6 months older than his/her partner at that age. Super fun stuff. This will be additionally complicated as both husband and I were a bit older when it came to starting sexual relationships, so no high school or college pressures or expectations. It might be hard to relate to what our kids experience. Or we could get lucky and raise a couple of repressed mega-nerds, just like their parents.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jun 9, 2016 17:14:16 GMT -5
So the theory is that men are forcing themselves on women because it's not easy to talk about sex, including asking permission? yes. that is my theory. Man and woman are fooling around. Man decides to try to go further. so he does. Woman is not quite sure but is embarrassed to say anything. Man tries something else. Seems to be working. Woman still not sure by she didn't stop the other thing so now she feels weird about stopping this thing. Man keeps going until sex is over and woman is wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of man and woman being able to say easily and clearly to eachother "do you want to have sex?" It is a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people. And you consider it likely that the man not asking for express verbal permission is a consequence of his chaste upbringing? In other words, he's too uptight about sex to ask permission, but not too uptight to fool around with a woman, jump her bones all night long, and leave her "wondering what the hell just happened". Your world, your theory, your solution, your outcomes. Good luck with that.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 9, 2016 18:01:34 GMT -5
I don't know if it has been said, but how about being blunt with your boys assuming they are still impressionable: "You will go to prison and you will probably be raped yourself by the inmates. Inmates hate rapists"
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 9, 2016 19:28:36 GMT -5
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 9, 2016 20:21:05 GMT -5
On what are we basing the assumption that rapists and would-be rapists don't understand consent? As the "tea" video points out, it's a simple concept. It's also a topic that any K-12 student (i.e. everybody) will be exposed to multiple times. Why not entertain the more straightforward possibility: that these individuals are perfectly aware of the rules of consent, but don't care enough to abide by them? That seems like the most reasonable explanation for why the problem has reached epidemic proportions. But as the tea video also points out, it is easy to talk to someone about tea. It is not easy to talk to someone about sex. Even someone who are about to have sex with, have been having sex with, are currently having sex with. Our prudishness gets in the way of those open conversations. Either that or may be, just may be, we are having sex with wrong people. If you can't have an open conversation with a person about it, may be you shouldn't be doing it.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jun 9, 2016 20:30:06 GMT -5
yes. that is my theory. Man and woman are fooling around. Man decides to try to go further. so he does. Woman is not quite sure but is embarrassed to say anything. Man tries something else. Seems to be working. Woman still not sure by she didn't stop the other thing so now she feels weird about stopping this thing. Man keeps going until sex is over and woman is wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of man and woman being able to say easily and clearly to eachother "do you want to have sex?" It is a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people. And you consider it likely that the man not asking for express verbal permission is a consequence of his chaste upbringing? In other words, he's too uptight about sex to ask permission, but not too uptight to fool around with a woman, jump her bones all night long, and leave her "wondering what the hell just happened". Your world, your theory, your solution, your outcomes. Good luck with that. No. Not from a chaste upbringing. Just from a prudish, repressed or not open one. I have been mentioning this a lot lately, but, I assume other people feel the same way, but I am learning that I am very different from other people. So maybe it is just me, but sex is not something that is easy to talk about.
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Politically_Incorrect12
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Post by Politically_Incorrect12 on Jun 9, 2016 20:31:44 GMT -5
As the father of two teenaged boys (15&18) I can honestly say that I never spoke with them about rape. However, I would be one of the first to condem them if they were responsible. I believe all children learn from their parents, and my boys have learned to respect women, all women at all times by observing the things I say, and the way I treat my wife. If I was constantly saying negative things about women, or sexually degrading them in front of my boys, it wouldn't take long for them to mimic that behavior. So how do we fix the problem? In my mind is start acting like responsible adults and be good role models for your children, teach them what it means to show respect and never take physical advantage of someone (male or female), just because you can. As the mother of two boys, I think the first thing we can do to fix the problem is to talk with our boys about rape. Seriously. Even if you have "good boys" (and I do, too.) As Sroo mentioned, there are two groups of rapists out there - predators and the misinformed/clueless. Don't let your boys fall into the clueless category. I used to think I didn't need to talk to my boys, either, because like you we're respectful at home and they're good kids. But then I read the details of some of the college rape cases and realized some of this is falling into what might be considered a "gray area" for boys who haven't thought about or been educated on certain aspects of consent. One case - the boy was a "good kid" who actually met the girl at a women's rights group volunteering. The boy and girl had previously had a sexual relationship but were no longer in the relationship - just good friends - when the girl texted the boy that she wanted to have sex. The boy turned her down. She persisted and eventually showed up at his apartment. They ended up having sex. She has now accused him of rape because she was drunk and did not have the capacity to consent. He claims he didn't know she was drunk since he wasn't there when she was drinking and that he believed she had not only consented but been the one seeking sex. This is the type of thing that's highly complicated and nuanced and I want to be talking to my boys about before they encounter it. Let's all start talking to our boys about rape and consent. If enough of us do it, it will make a difference. So in instances like this, who is the victim...the person who was drinking and pressing the issue, but changed their mind after-the-fact or the person who is having the charges placed against them? We also never discuss the issue, especially in regard to drinking, in the reverse situation where the guy is drunk and women take advantage of it...in fact the guy would probably get laughed at if he tried to claim rape in that situation. So it's not just a "male" issue in terms of a discussion....but it is the only side that almost everybody wants to focus on and if you have two drunk people, it's the male that society wants to place blame on even if he was the most drunk of the two and both wanted to have sex but had remorse about it when they sobered up. Neither one is right, but society definitely has a different view on this issue in regard to men and women.
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Politically_Incorrect12
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Post by Politically_Incorrect12 on Jun 9, 2016 20:46:08 GMT -5
So the theory is that men are forcing themselves on women because it's not easy to talk about sex, including asking permission? yes. that is my theory. Man and woman are fooling around. Man decides to try to go further. so he does. Woman is not quite sure but is embarrassed to say anything. Man tries something else. Seems to be working. Woman still not sure by she didn't stop the other thing so now she feels weird about stopping this thing. Man keeps going until sex is over and woman is wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of man and woman being able to say easily and clearly to eachother "do you want to have sex?" It is a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people. The real question is how many people on this board would consider that rape? With a follow-up question being for those who would consider it rape, how many would find it acceptable to punish the boy/man for it?
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DagnyT
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Post by DagnyT on Jun 9, 2016 21:16:20 GMT -5
Before someone decides to blast me and say I am blaming the victim, that is absolutely not true. I'm not blaming anyone. I also haven't really kept up with the Stanford case so if I have the story wrong it comes from one news report I did read. So here goes:
I really don't know if he raped her or not. It is not even a he/said she/said because from what I read she says she doesn't remember anything. She woke up at the hospital and did not know that anything had happened until the hospital staff told her she had been assaulted. So, when did she pass out? She was walking back to his dorm with him, or at least that is his story. She apparently stumbled and he fell with her and they started kissing and fooling around again. Like I said this is his story. Hers is that she doesn't remember. Now the question is who is telling the truth? No one knows. He was drunk also. Maybe she really was ok with his advances but then was ashamed to be caught by a dumpster having sex with someone she just met. Maybe she didn't want her boyfriend to find out. We just do not know what happened. I would say they are both victims of the drinking culture that is so prevalent in our colleges today, heck in our high schools and communities in general.
We need to do both: teach our men and boys what rape is and that it is wrong and teach our girls ways to help them from falling victim to anyone who decides to rape them. I personally think that means that we need to teach them to be careful of the amount of alcohol that they consume. That is not victim blaming. That is reality.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 9, 2016 21:33:45 GMT -5
Before someone decides to blast me and say I am blaming the victim, that is absolutely not true. I'm not blaming anyone. I also haven't really kept up with the Stanford case so if I have the story wrong it comes from one news report I did read. So here goes:
I really don't know if he raped her or not. It is not even a he/said she/said because from what I read she says she doesn't remember anything. She woke up at the hospital and did not know that anything had happened until the hospital staff told her she had been assaulted. So, when did she pass out? She was walking back to his dorm with him, or at least that is his story. She apparently stumbled and he fell with her and they started kissing and fooling around again. Like I said this is his story. Hers is that she doesn't remember. Now the question is who is telling the truth? No one knows. He was drunk also. Maybe she really was ok with his advances but then was ashamed to be caught by a dumpster having sex with someone she just met. Maybe she didn't want her boyfriend to find out. We just do not know what happened. I would say they are both victims of the drinking culture that is so prevalent in our colleges today, heck in our high schools and communities in general.
We need to do both: teach our men and boys what rape is and that it is wrong and teach our girls ways to help them from falling victim to anyone who decides to rape them. I personally think that means that we need to teach them to be careful of the amount of alcohol that they consume. That is not victim blaming. That is reality.
Read the account of the two guys on bikes who came upon the scene.
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DagnyT
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Post by DagnyT on Jun 9, 2016 21:33:53 GMT -5
yes. that is my theory. Man and woman are fooling around. Man decides to try to go further. so he does. Woman is not quite sure but is embarrassed to say anything. Man tries something else. Seems to be working. Woman still not sure by she didn't stop the other thing so now she feels weird about stopping this thing. Man keeps going until sex is over and woman is wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of man and woman being able to say easily and clearly to eachother "do you want to have sex?" It is a hard subject to talk about for a lot of people. The real question is how many people on this board would consider that rape? With a follow-up question being for those who would consider it rape, how many would find it acceptable to punish the boy/man for it? I would not consider that rape. No one should be punished.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 9, 2016 21:40:18 GMT -5
Before someone decides to blast me and say I am blaming the victim, that is absolutely not true. I'm not blaming anyone. I also haven't really kept up with the Stanford case so if I have the story wrong it comes from one news report I did read. So here goes:
I really don't know if he raped her or not. It is not even a he/said she/said because from what I read she says she doesn't remember anything. She woke up at the hospital and did not know that anything had happened until the hospital staff told her she had been assaulted. So, when did she pass out? She was walking back to his dorm with him, or at least that is his story. She apparently stumbled and he fell with her and they started kissing and fooling around again. Like I said this is his story. Hers is that she doesn't remember. Now the question is who is telling the truth? No one knows. He was drunk also. Maybe she really was ok with his advances but then was ashamed to be caught by a dumpster having sex with someone she just met. Maybe she didn't want her boyfriend to find out. We just do not know what happened. I would say they are both victims of the drinking culture that is so prevalent in our colleges today, heck in our high schools and communities in general.
We need to do both: teach our men and boys what rape is and that it is wrong and teach our girls ways to help them from falling victim to anyone who decides to rape them. I personally think that means that we need to teach them to be careful of the amount of alcohol that they consume. That is not victim blaming. That is reality.
Read the account of the two guys on bikes who came upon the scene. And then also take the time to read his initial statements to the police. Before it was known that she remembered nothing. Then compare it to what he said once he knew she didn't remember and couldn't contest what he said.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 9, 2016 21:44:46 GMT -5
If they've already started raping you won't be able to tell them anything as they are already a rapist with no moral compass and no conscience. I don't think you can teach those things at that stage in their life. Just like castration doesn't stop the behavior as they will just use something else. They should be in jail. And for way longer than 6 months! If it's a date rape situation and alcohol involved like billis's thread is about I'm not sure because whatever you say may not be on their minds at the time they are intoxicated and ready for "20 minutes of action" <<sarcasm>>. Bless sicko's dad's heart that he thinks his son could go that long even with an unconscious person who can't shove him off.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 9, 2016 21:46:32 GMT -5
And once again we're back onto what women need to do to prevent rape and how their actions are contributory*. Even in a thread that's specifically titled "What should we tell our boys to get them to stop raping".
Oh, no - we're not blaming women at all. Even though we can't have a single discussion about rape or even specifically what we do in regards to the men who are raping without talking about what role the women play in preventing or controlling rape. No, gosh no, it's not about the woman at all....but let's direct most of our talk to the women. Because it's not their fault. Really.
* Not the posts immediately before this one.
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DagnyT
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Post by DagnyT on Jun 9, 2016 21:50:45 GMT -5
Read the account of the two guys on bikes who came upon the scene. And then also take the time to read his initial statements to the police. Before it was known that she remembered nothing. Then compare it to what he said once he knew she didn't remember and couldn't contest what he said. I read one account by the guy on the bicycle. He said it was shocking and that she did not wake up when he shook her. So my question remains when did she pass out? Did the guy, who was drunk also, even know she had passed out? Maybe he did and really did assault her. I don't know. I have not read his initial account to the police and I don't really have time to go looking for it. If I do at sometime, I will. My thoughts are that it is still not blaming the victim when we say that we need to teach girls and women ways to lessen the likelihood of them being in a situation like this one.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 21:52:28 GMT -5
Do you really believe there is a one person who is ignorant on the rape knowledge? I can swear they all know what they are doing. It is just that they are ignoring the knowledge hoping it will just roll off their back.
Yes, I do. I think there are plenty of men who don't understand that a drunk person can't legally give consent. And I think that the majority of college aged boys start out college not being very aware of just how little alcohol it takes to get a small girl drunk, so they may or may not even know just how wasted that cute 95 pound girl who just had two drinks really is. But aren't we really saying a female can't give consent if she is drinking? Why wouldn't it be neither gave consent?
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 9, 2016 21:57:02 GMT -5
And then also take the time to read his initial statements to the police. Before it was known that she remembered nothing. Then compare it to what he said once he knew she didn't remember and couldn't contest what he said. I read one account by the guy on the bicycle. He said it was shocking and that she did not wake up when he shook her. So my question remains when did she pass out? Did the guy, who was drunk also, even know she had passed out? Maybe he did and really did assault her. I don't know. I have not read his initial account to the police and I don't really have time to go looking for it. If I do at sometime, I will. My thoughts are that it is still not blaming the victim when we say that we need to teach girls and women ways to lessen the likelihood of them being in a situation like this one. To paraphrase:
Even though there was a witness, who knows what really happened? Maybe it was rape, I don't know. Meantime, let's once again talk about how women can prevent rape.
In a thread specifically about what we tell boys to get them to stop raping. This really does illustrate exactly the issue we've been discussing in the other thread.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 9, 2016 21:57:59 GMT -5
And then also take the time to read his initial statements to the police. Before it was known that she remembered nothing. Then compare it to what he said once he knew she didn't remember and couldn't contest what he said. I read one account by the guy on the bicycle. He said it was shocking and that she did not wake up when he shook her. So my question remains when did she pass out? Did the guy, who was drunk also, even know she had passed out? Maybe he did and really did assault her. I don't know. I have not read his initial account to the police and I don't really have time to go looking for it. If I do at sometime, I will. My thoughts are that it is still not blaming the victim when we say that we need to teach girls and women ways to lessen the likelihood of them being in a situation like this one. Seriously? If you're having consensual sex with someone out in the open and someone stops and asks if she's ok because she's passed the fuck out, the response isn't to run like a little bitch. It's to be concerned about the person you're having consensual sex with. But no, his first thought was oh shit they caught me having sex with someone that's unconscious lets run away. And I don't know about everyone's sexual preference, but I'd say almost every damn one of them would never consent to a guy putting dirt and other debris from the ground into her vagina.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2016 21:58:22 GMT -5
Would any reasonable person expect him to get explicit consent at this point? No and I think that is part of the problem. He did not set out to intentionally do anything wrong or cause harm. Unfortunately rape is often a "he said/she said" type situation and apparently she claims she can't remember consenting. 20/20 hindsight he should have continued to say no. I doubt most guys are out there thinking "I am going to rape a chick tonight!". I am guessing a lot of them are getting themselves into situations like the above and don't quite know how to handle it. So, you think he raped her?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 9, 2016 22:01:47 GMT -5
And then also take the time to read his initial statements to the police. Before it was known that she remembered nothing. Then compare it to what he said once he knew she didn't remember and couldn't contest what he said. I read one account by the guy on the bicycle. He said it was shocking and that she did not wake up when he shook her. So my question remains when did she pass out? Did the guy, who was drunk also, even know she had passed out? Maybe he did and really did assault her. I don't know. I have not read his initial account to the police and I don't really have time to go looking for it. If I do at sometime, I will. My thoughts are that it is still not blaming the victim when we say that we need to teach girls and women ways to lessen the likelihood of them being in a situation like this one. Why does it matter when she passed out? You are totally missing the point in that the woman could not give consent. If you are that drunk, you are incapable of giving consent and the rapist essentially 'helped himself'. This is what 3 threads and pages of post have been discussing. Just because you cannot give consent does NOT mean you consent. Let me as you this. If you were recovering from surgery, still under anesthesia, and the doctor crawled on top of you and penetrated you, were you raped? This is really not different. Neither woman was in no shape to give consent, period. Finally, the rapist tried to run away when he was caught. He freaking knew he did wrong.
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Politically_Incorrect12
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Post by Politically_Incorrect12 on Jun 9, 2016 22:11:27 GMT -5
And once again we're back onto what women need to do to prevent rape and how their actions are contributory*. Even in a thread that's specifically titled "What should we tell our boys to get them to stop raping".
Oh, no - we're not blaming women at all. Even though we can't have a single discussion about rape or even specifically what we do in regards to the men who are raping without talking about what role the women play in preventing or controlling rape. No, gosh no, it's not about the woman at all....but let's direct most of our talk to the women. Because it's not their fault. Really.
* Not the posts immediately before this one. What posts are blaming the victim? I also think part of the discussion has transitioned to how should society view two drunk, consenting, and awake people whose have sex but regret it the morning after?
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DagnyT
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Post by DagnyT on Jun 9, 2016 22:11:53 GMT -5
I read one account by the guy on the bicycle. He said it was shocking and that she did not wake up when he shook her. So my question remains when did she pass out? Did the guy, who was drunk also, even know she had passed out? Maybe he did and really did assault her. I don't know. I have not read his initial account to the police and I don't really have time to go looking for it. If I do at sometime, I will. My thoughts are that it is still not blaming the victim when we say that we need to teach girls and women ways to lessen the likelihood of them being in a situation like this one. To paraphrase:
Even though there was a witness, who knows what really happened? Maybe it was rape, I don't know. Meantime, let's once again talk about how women can prevent rape.
In a thread specifically about what we tell boys to get them to stop raping. Wow.
Would it make you happy if I just did not post? All I am saying is that as a mother of a college age girl, I want her to do whatever she can to protect herself. I am not blaming the girl. I think you know that. It makes me angry that other people make our young girls think that they can't help protect themselves. All girls will not be 100% safe, but if a few listen when their moms tell them to not get drunk off their ass so that they don't know what is going on, and therefore, they are less likely to be in a situation like this, then by all means blast me away into the stratosphere.
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justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
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Post by justme on Jun 9, 2016 22:19:20 GMT -5
To paraphrase:
Even though there was a witness, who knows what really happened? Maybe it was rape, I don't know. Meantime, let's once again talk about how women can prevent rape.
In a thread specifically about what we tell boys to get them to stop raping. Wow.
Would it make you happy if I just did not post? All I am saying is that as a mother of a college age girl, I want her to do whatever she can to protect herself. I am not blaming the girl. I think you know that. It makes me angry that other people make our young girls think that they can't help protect themselves. All girls will not be 100% safe, but if a few listen when their moms tell them to not get drunk off their ass so that they don't know what is going on, and therefore, they are less likely to be in a situation like this, then by all means blast me away into the stratosphere. Her point is THIS thread is about what to tell boys. What to teach them about rape. What to do to make sure they understand all the varying ways rape looks like. How to make sure they get true consent and not just a drunken head nod. Yet you bring up girls having to prevent rape. The thread is not about that. If you want to talk about that start a thread about that. Or go to the other thread where the topic has been beaten to death. The thread where it came up on what we can do to get BOYS to prevent rape and Swamp started this thread to get that discussion going. Because - newsflash - when it comes to men raping women the only people that can prevent that is men choosing not to rape, or not to have sex with an unconscious person, or not to have sex with a drunk girl.
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Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 9, 2016 22:20:15 GMT -5
And once again we're back onto what women need to do to prevent rape and how their actions are contributory*. Even in a thread that's specifically titled "What should we tell our boys to get them to stop raping".
Oh, no - we're not blaming women at all. Even though we can't have a single discussion about rape or even specifically what we do in regards to the men who are raping without talking about what role the women play in preventing or controlling rape. No, gosh no, it's not about the woman at all....but let's direct most of our talk to the women. Because it's not their fault. Really.
* Not the posts immediately before this one. Whew! I was wondering what the hell I said for a minute there! Just to be clear though - I think it's his fault 100% even if she was sprawled out naked for all to see. That is not an open invitation to be raped, beaten, killed, spit on, or whatever else disgusting people might think to do. It would be her fault, however, to get an indecent exposure citation or whatever they issue for that situation in that state.
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