What should we tell our boys to get them to stop raping?"

[midjd]

I do wonder though if some of the men in that study may have taken the question differently.

This is probably not the most unbiased source, but it looks like the phrasing from the survey was "would you act on intentions to force a woman to sexual intercourse?" vs. "would you act on intentions to rape a woman?"
The really scary stat is that 14% of the college men surveyed said yes to the latter question 

Edwards’ team also tried to gauge the college men’s approach to the opposite gender. They found that the men who were comfortable admitting their “intentions to rape” displayed a wide range of outwardly hostile attitudes toward women. The men who rejected the “rape” language, but said they would still use force against a woman, didn’t display that level of outward hostility. But they were still linked with what the researchers defined as “callous sexual attitudes”: a set of cultural stereotypes about women as objects and men as aggressors that feeds into hyper-masculinity.

“Given that callous sexual attitudes permit violence and consider women as passive sexual objects, it follows that for men who endorse these, sexual aggression becomes an appropriate and accepted expression of masculinity,” the researchers write. “In this sense, using force to obtain intercourse does not become an act of rape, but rather an expression of hyper-masculinity, which may be thought of as a desirable disposition in certain subcultures.”

So basically, there is potentially a cohort of 10 or 15 percent of men who think rape is OK. They may be the group that can't be swayed and for whom just need to focus on stiffer sentences or more aggressive prosecution. 

Then there are the ones who don't think of themselves as rapists but have the ingrained attitude that they need to "take" a woman by whatever means necessary or they're less of a man, or that the woman owes them for paying for dinner, or that no really means yes, etc. I think if we focus on this group as being capable of change, and try to dispel the more Neanderthal attitudes on a societal level, the number of reported rapes would plummet. 

[imawino]

Jun 9, 2016 11:24:52 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

The Thames Valley Police (London) have just released a short cartoon video about consent using the time honored British tradition of a "cup of tea".  I found it amusing and it highlighted 'grey areas' that when applied to other situations are actually very clear.

metro.co.uk/2015/10/28/this-new-sexual-consent-and-tea-video-from-the-police-is-brilliant-5466392/

I love that video.  So, here's my question.  At then end when he says "I'm going to make myself a cup of tea", is that a euphemism?  I'm left wondering..... 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Jun 9, 2016 11:17:52 GMT -5 Kolt! said:

I do wonder though if some of the men in that study may have taken the question differently.

In today's world when I hear "force." I think of a dominant sexual partner with their submissive. In this case, the submissive has agreed but "force" is used. They'll spank, chain, ect... 50 Shades of Grey has made this very popular. Personally, that's how I took it at first when I saw the word "force" was BDSM. 

However, I'd still say "no" because I'm REALLY not into BDSM for myself. But, I can't necessarily say a woman or man involved in this is wrong to be involved in this because both partners agree to it. 

But maybe some did just take it as "force" as well. I just know when I heard it I took it as BDSM at first. 

But then after I reread the question I assumes that's not true but at first glances that's def what I thought of. 

I feel like it's important that parent's talk to their children about it but I'd even go as far to say during sex ed classes that these are things that should be talked about as well. I know in my sex ed classes this topic never even came up. In my entire high school career this topic never came up. 

We talked about STDS and Condoms. But, it was never expressed what consent means. 

For some reason, our local high school decided this year's senior class needed one more round of sex ed in the Wellness classes.  I emailed the principal, the vice principal, and the Wellness teacher and asked if they would focus on "consent" -- what is consent, when is a partner consenting, when is a partner refusing, and what are gray areas that really mean "no".  There have been numerous cases of young men charged with rape and registered for life as sex offenders who had sex with underage girlfriends, or who were drunk (and conscious) and had sex with drunk partners (who were conscious) and other such situations not uncommon in young adulthood.  Some of these young men did indeed rape the woman intentionally.  But, I am certain one or two or some other small number were just naive and uninformed and, yet, will spend their lives associated with perverts and pedophiles and violent rapists.  So, personally, I think teenagers need far more instruction in consent than they do the biology of sex.  And young folks need to hear the consent criteria repeatedly for it to sink in, and from lots of people -- not just their "lameass" parents.  

Unfortunately, the powers-that-be at the high school turned down my request.  It appears they used some sort of pre-packaged curriculum.  Another opportunity lost to have some meaningful, effective, conversations about sex.    (Have I told you how freaking ecstatic I am to be finally done with public schools? )

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 10:48:40 GMT -5 justme said:

Jun 9, 2016 10:43:36 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Rape should not exist. Period! However...

And reducing bad things by 50% IS the result.

Nothing is perfect.

And the only way to reduce it is for would be rapists to not rape.

Rapist will rape giving an opportunity.

There is no way to reduce it unless they are facing castration or death penalty.

Still even if such law in force there are some cruel animals who would hope to

get away with it. Criminals are people without fear that normal people have.

It is supposed to be a 100% caught result that will make them not to do this.

Which is obviously impossible.

What you are saying is if killer wouldn't kill, thieves wouldn't still and rapists wouldn't

rape - we would achieve our society goals for safe life. Do you see it happening?

Unfortunately no. People are sinful creatures and some more than others.

So those who are more - if they aren't detected and destroyed at birth - crimes will go on.

As horrific as it sounds. Your suggestion is obsolete. Unfortunately.

We can just wish that in future somehow...

[Kolt!]

Jun 9, 2016 11:35:47 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Jun 9, 2016 11:17:52 GMT -5 Kolt! said:

I do wonder though if some of the men in that study may have taken the question differently.

In today's world when I hear "force." I think of a dominant sexual partner with their submissive. In this case, the submissive has agreed but "force" is used. They'll spank, chain, ect... 50 Shades of Grey has made this very popular. Personally, that's how I took it at first when I saw the word "force" was BDSM. 

However, I'd still say "no" because I'm REALLY not into BDSM for myself. But, I can't necessarily say a woman or man involved in this is wrong to be involved in this because both partners agree to it. 

But maybe some did just take it as "force" as well. I just know when I heard it I took it as BDSM at first. 

But then after I reread the question I assumes that's not true but at first glances that's def what I thought of. 

I feel like it's important that parent's talk to their children about it but I'd even go as far to say during sex ed classes that these are things that should be talked about as well. I know in my sex ed classes this topic never even came up. In my entire high school career this topic never came up. 

We talked about STDS and Condoms. But, it was never expressed what consent means. 

For some reason, our local high school decided this year's senior class needed one more round of sex ed in the Wellness classes.  I emailed the principal, the vice principal, and the Wellness teacher and asked if they would focus on "consent" -- what is consent, when is a partner consenting, when is a partner refusing, and what are gray areas that really mean "no".  There have been numerous cases of young men charged with rape and registered for life as sex offenders who had sex with underage girlfriends, or who were drunk (and conscious) and had sex with drunk partners (who were conscious) and other such situations not uncommon in young adulthood.  Some of these young men did indeed rape the woman intentionally.  But, I am certain one or two or some other small number were just naive and uninformed and, yet, will spend their lives associated with perverts and pedophiles and violent rapists.  So, personally, I think teenagers need far more instruction in consent than they do the biology of sex.  And young folks need to hear the consent criteria repeatedly for it to sink in, and from lots of people -- not just their "lameass" parents.  

Unfortunately, the powers-that-be at the high school turned down my request.  It appears they used some sort of pre-packaged curriculum.  Another opportunity lost to have some meaningful, effective, conversations about sex.    (Have I told you how freaking ecstatic I am to be finally done with public schools? )

Sadly it probably was out of there hands. A lot of what is taught in schools is out of the teachers and principals hands, sometimes even the school board and it sucks. I believe it's super important but it seems lately public schools are ran by a lot of Politicians telling teachers and principals how to teach and run their school who have no experience even working with students. But that's a rant for another day, haha. 

I wonder if there's ways to go around this and try to get support for teaching students about "consent" in schools. I just wouldn't even know where to start. But I truly believe it's important and I hope some day this is taken into consideration. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When I think about it I doubt my HS sweetheart's parents would ever have taught him that it was acceptable to pressure me for sex in exchange for going to prom (never mind I was taking him since I was the junior!).  If I had told them the things he said to me they probably would have murdered him.

But somewhere along the way he picked up the idea that I owed him sex on that particular night.  It never occurred to him that what he was suggesting could have ended up as rape if he had decided to force the issue physically.

We can talk to our kids all we want which is important but I think we need to work on the message society as a whole sends to boys when it comes to sex.   It shouldn't even cross their minds that their date "owes" them and that they should try to pressure their dates into complying.

[Sam_2.0]

We talked about STDS and Condoms. But, it was never expressed what consent means.

I sat my brothers down to have a talk. My parents were abstinence-only with their education. Being 10 years older than my brothers meant I had experienced some things before they came of age to talk through it. This is what I told them, regarding consent:

Consent means a clear "YES" - from someone legally able to give that answer (of age, sound mind, not intoxicated by any substance). Anything else, the answer is always NO.

[ArchietheDragon]

Jun 9, 2016 12:04:23 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Jun 9, 2016 11:53:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

When I think about it I doubt my HS sweetheart's parents would ever have taught him that it was acceptable to pressure me for sex in exchange for going to prom (never mind I was taking him since I was the junior!).  If I had told them the things he said to me they probably would have murdered him.

But somewhere along the way he picked up the idea that I owed him sex on that particular night.  It never occurred to him that what he was suggesting could have ended up as rape if he had decided to force the issue physically.

We can talk to our kids all we want which is important but I think we need to work on the message society as a whole sends to boys when it comes to sex.   It shouldn't even cross their minds that their date "owes" them and that they should try to pressure their dates into complying.

I had a prom date with that same idea.  Seems he decided to tell anyone that would listen that I would put out on prom night.   I remember walking into class and the entire class was laughing and pointing at him, saying "Good Luck with that".   Yeah,  we had gotten a hotel room (the group of us) and he slept on the couch... alone... and frustrated.  He was then mocked by everyone the next time we were in school.   I like to think he learned a valuable lesson at that point. 

I am sure he did.   Unfortunately it was probably, slip something in her drink if you really want a sure thing.

[giramomma]

Jun 9, 2016 11:53:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We can talk to our kids all we want which is important but I think we need to work on the message society as a whole sends to boys when it comes to sex.   It shouldn't even cross their minds that their date "owes" them and that they should try to pressure their dates into complying.

How do we do that? 

In my city, there's even "No means No" signs on our public buses. I'm not sure how much that does to combat rape. But, the message is out there in a public way.

I don't have the energy to take down mass media. And, frankly, if I try to, I'm going to look like a nut case (or at least a bigger one than I am.) Going without cable still, in this day and age is pretty taboo.

And, I can't control that other parents let their kids play GTA. I can't control if other parents let their kids watch 2.5 Men.

I can't make parents have conversations about porn with their kids..and how that's not necessarily how life works.

[bean29]

Jun 9, 2016 10:31:22 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I hate anything that has to do with abuse of humans or animals or human rights...

However I must say if girls weren't getting wasted so often - rape cases would

be reduced by at least 50%.

And you can't 'tell' anything to the boys to not to rape. All know it is wrong.

Men are having hearts and brains. Some just are not having enough hearts.

Kind people will never do this out of simple decency. It is also applied to

'do not kill' and all 10 commandments.

Some people just aren't decent people and whatever you 'tell' them, even

threatened by death sentence is not going to work!

I think we need to tell our girls how to protect themselves from rape and other

troubles and maybe teach them some self-protection and than some so they

wouldn't fall prays to these heartless animals in human bodies.

I am going to go out on a limb here and defend looney.  I hate to assume that just because my DH and I talk to our DD all the time about knowing where her drink is at all times, staying with her friends, and self protection that we would be accused of victim blaming.  I also am not one to count on everyone realizing that consent was not given if any alcohol was involved.  To me that is a pretty grey area.  I have always been pretty careful exactly who I was drinking around and very rarely drink enough to be drunk.  Exactly when do you accuse your "friend" or "boyfriend" of raping you b/c you had one or two drinks and decided that having sex was a good idea.  I really think sometimes the best protection you can have is a little old fashioned self protection "Don't put yourself in that situation to begin with" kind of thing.  I am not saying blame the victim if things do go bad, but stack the deck in your kid's favor as much as possible.

So everyone here never drinks and then has sex?  Yeah right.  I know I live in Wisconsin and we have some of the highest prevalence of Alcoholics but DH and I are not huge drinkers, and our circle of acquaintances includes more than a few that never go a day without drinking.

And you can't 'tell' anything to the boys to not to rape. All know it is wrong.

Men are having hearts and brains. Some just are not having enough hearts.

Kind people will never do this out of simple decency. It is also applied to

'do not kill' and all 10 commandments.

Some people just aren't decent people and whatever you 'tell' them, even

threatened by death sentence is not going to work!

Doesn't the above just kind of make sense?  If you just tell a pedophile not to have sex with children will they stop b/c it is (against the 10 commandments, against the law, unkind, indecent)?  Well, we know that none of those things is really an effective deterrent - so in many cases just telling a Man who is inclined to rape, what the definition of rape is,  is not going to stop them from raping - which goes back to teaching people how to protect themselves from being raped.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I think "no means no" is hard because what if she says yes and you get all the way to the point of being naked. .. then she passes out.   Is that still a yes and should should he stop?

To me the smart thing to do would be to stop no matter how tempting it is to keep going.  

But that's probably not where a lot of people stop.  After all she did not say "no" so it's not rape.  

And that's when we get into the "was it truly rape or was she just too shit faced to remember?" debate. 

We really need to pin down what consent means.  How to do that I have no idea.  

[Tiny]

Jun 9, 2016 11:17:52 GMT -5 Kolt! said:

I do wonder though if some of the men in that study may have taken the question differently.

In today's world when I hear "force." I think of a dominant sexual partner with their submissive. In this case, the submissive has agreed but "force" is used. They'll spank, chain, ect... 50 Shades of Grey has made this very popular. Personally, that's how I took it at first when I saw the word "force" was BDSM. 

However, I'd still say "no" because I'm REALLY not into BDSM for myself. But, I can't necessarily say a woman or man involved in this is wrong to be involved in this because both partners agree to it. 

But maybe some did just take it as "force" as well. I just know when I heard it I took it as BDSM at first. 

But then after I reread the question I assumes that's not true but at first glances that's def what I thought of. 

I feel like it's important that parent's talk to their children about it but I'd even go as far to say during sex ed classes that these are things that should be talked about as well. I know in my sex ed classes this topic never even came up. In my entire high school career this topic never came up. 

We talked about STDS and Condoms. But, it was never expressed what consent means. 

I didn't see a mention of a safe word (to identify "this isn't working so well for me, please stop!")  I suspect that the surveyed guys just assumed that using force meant getting what they wanted -- it didn't matter what their partner was saying or doing.  Cause, you know, when someone involved in forced sex is struggling and/or saying "No! Stop! You are hurting/scaring me!"  they are really saying:  "I like it! Keep doing that!"    <-- that's sarcasm by the way. 

[ArchietheDragon]

Jun 9, 2016 12:39:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I think "no means no" is hard because what if she says yes and you get all the way to the point of being naked. .. then she passes out.   Is that still a yes and should should he stop?

To me the smart thing to do would be to stop no matter how tempting it is to keep going.  

But that's probably not where a lot of people stop.  After all she did not say "no" so it's not rape.  

And that's when we get into the "was it truly rape or was she just too shit faced to remember?" debate. 

We really need to pin down what consent means.  How to do that I have no idea.  

I bet technology will come up with a way.   An app, a watch, an implanted computer chip... something we have not even contemplated yet....  someone will come up with a way to easily, consistently, reliably acknowledge consent. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If these men were into BDSM the answer still would have been "no".

Since BDSM can involve actions that could really hurt someone consent is very important.  That is why they have a "safe word" so everyone knows exactly where to draw the line and stop.

People who are in those kind of relationships have to REALLY trust each other because you are putting your safety in your SO's hands.

Anyone who would agree it's okay to force you to do something is not someone you want a BDSM relationship with.

[engineerdoe]

Jun 9, 2016 11:30:16 GMT -5 imawino said:

Jun 9, 2016 11:24:52 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

The Thames Valley Police (London) have just released a short cartoon video about consent using the time honored British tradition of a "cup of tea".  I found it amusing and it highlighted 'grey areas' that when applied to other situations are actually very clear.

metro.co.uk/2015/10/28/this-new-sexual-consent-and-tea-video-from-the-police-is-brilliant-5466392/

I love that video.  So, here's my question.  At then end when he says "I'm going to make myself a cup of tea", is that a euphemism?  I'm left wondering..... 

No wondering, obviously he was going for some self love and then probably a cup of tea.

[tractor]

As the father of two teenaged boys (15&18) I can honestly say that I never spoke with them about rape. However, I would be one of the first to condem them if they were responsible. I believe all children learn from their parents, and my boys have learned to respect women, all women at all times by observing the things I say, and the way I treat my wife. If I was constantly saying negative things about women, or sexually degrading them in front of my boys, it wouldn't take long for them to mimic that behavior.

So how do we fix the problem? In my mind is start acting like responsible adults and be good role models for your children, teach them what it means to show respect and never take physical advantage of someone (male or female), just because you can.

[milee]

Jun 9, 2016 11:53:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

When I think about it I doubt my HS sweetheart's parents would ever have taught him that it was acceptable to pressure me for sex in exchange for going to prom (never mind I was taking him since I was the junior!).  If I had told them the things he said to me they probably would have murdered him.

Of course most parents would never teach a son that it was acceptable to pressure a woman for sex in exchange for something.  I think that's not the problem.  The problem is that most parents don't think to go at this from the opposite approach and bring that subject up to specifically discuss.  Most parents don't think of doing that because it's so obvious to them that it's wrong and their son is a good kid that it wouldn't occur to them they'd need to discuss it.  But judging from surveys and actual results - we do need to discuss it.  Explicitly.  So the boys hear it directly from us.  It's not OK to ________.  Because all their lives they've been surrounded by movies, jokes from friends, societal expectations, etc. which aren't always aligned with what we as parents think, so we need to directly discuss those things. 

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 12:38:25 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

I think there is a large contingent of people who rape, that don't know or realize what they are doing is legally rape.   

I think rapists fall under 2 categories; Predators and Ignorant.    You're not going to change or influence the predator,  but you have a shot with the ignorant. 

Do you really believe there is a one person who is ignorant on the rape knowledge?

I can swear they all know what they are doing. It is just that they are ignoring

the knowledge hoping it will just roll off their back.

[Tiny]

What kinds of things are OK to do to an unconscious (or awake but very drunk/high) person? Or, just someone who's upset/distraught/not thinking very clearly?

I would think the answer to that question(s) would help with wondering if it's OK to touch/have sex with someone in that state - regardless of what they said or did BEFORE they got to that state.

[milee]

Jun 9, 2016 12:48:16 GMT -5 tractor said:

As the father of two teenaged boys (15&18) I can honestly say that I never spoke with them about rape. However, I would be one of the first to condem them if they were responsible. I believe all children learn from their parents, and my boys have learned to respect women, all women at all times by observing the things I say, and the way I treat my wife. If I was constantly saying negative things about women, or sexually degrading them in front of my boys, it wouldn't take long for them to mimic that behavior.

So how do we fix the problem? In my mind is start acting like responsible adults and be good role models for your children, teach them what it means to show respect and never take physical advantage of someone (male or female), just because you can.

As the mother of two boys, I think the first thing we can do to fix the problem is to talk with our boys about rape.  Seriously.  Even if you have "good boys" (and I do, too.)  

As Sroo mentioned, there are two groups of rapists out there - predators and the misinformed/clueless.  Don't let your boys fall into the clueless category.  I used to think I didn't need to talk to my boys, either, because like you we're respectful at home and they're good kids.  But then I read the details of some of the college rape cases and realized some of this is falling into what might be considered a "gray area" for boys who haven't thought about or been educated on certain aspects of consent.

One case - the boy was a "good kid" who actually met the girl at a women's rights group volunteering.  The boy and girl had previously had a sexual relationship but were no longer in the relationship - just good friends - when the girl texted the boy that she wanted to have sex.  The boy turned her down.  She persisted and eventually showed up at his apartment.  They ended up having sex.  She has now accused him of rape because she was drunk and did not have the capacity to consent.  He claims he didn't know she was drunk since he wasn't there when she was drinking and that he believed she had not only consented but been the one seeking sex.  This is the type of thing that's highly complicated and nuanced and I want to be talking to my boys about before they encounter it.  

Let's all start talking to our boys about rape and consent.  If enough of us do it, it will make a difference.

[ArchietheDragon]

Jun 9, 2016 12:54:44 GMT -5 Tiny said:

What kinds of things are OK to do to an unconscious (or awake but very drunk/high) person?  

This

[milee]

Jun 9, 2016 12:53:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Jun 9, 2016 12:38:25 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

I think there is a large contingent of people who rape, that don't know or realize what they are doing is legally rape.   

I think rapists fall under 2 categories; Predators and Ignorant.    You're not going to change or influence the predator,  but you have a shot with the ignorant. 

Do you really believe there is a one person who is ignorant on the rape knowledge?

I can swear they all know what they are doing. It is just that they are ignoring

the knowledge hoping it will just roll off their back.

Yes, I do.  I think there are plenty of men who don't understand that a drunk person can't legally give consent.  And I think that the majority of college aged boys start out college not being very aware of just how little alcohol it takes to get a small girl drunk, so they may or may not even know just how wasted that cute 95 pound girl who just had two drinks really is.

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 11:24:52 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

The Thames Valley Police (London) have just released a short cartoon video about consent using the time honored British tradition of a "cup of tea".  I found it amusing and it highlighted 'grey areas' that when applied to other situations are actually very clear.

metro.co.uk/2015/10/28/this-new-sexual-consent-and-tea-video-from-the-police-is-brilliant-5466392/

Added to my Favorites! Great tutorial.

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 13:01:08 GMT -5 milee said:

Jun 9, 2016 12:53:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Do you really believe there is a one person who is ignorant on the rape knowledge?

I can swear they all know what they are doing. It is just that they are ignoring

the knowledge hoping it will just roll off their back.

Yes, I do.  I think there are plenty of men who don't understand that a drunk person can't legally give consent.  And I think that the majority of college aged boys start out college not being very aware of just how little alcohol it takes to get a small girl drunk, so they may or may not even know just how wasted that cute 95 pound girl who just had two drinks really is.

Having sex with passed out person supposed to strike any boy as sick!

If he has a brain AND heart!

If the girl half-awake - she might not fighting it because she is agree

at the moment or don't realize what is going on

and giggling or saying something hard to

understand if it is ok or no...grey areas everywhere  especially with

2 drunk people involved.

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 12:59:26 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jun 9, 2016 12:54:44 GMT -5 Tiny said:

What kinds of things are OK to do to an unconscious (or awake but very drunk/high) person?  

This

Archie, is it you? Before or after?

[ArchietheDragon]

Jun 9, 2016 13:10:38 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Jun 9, 2016 12:59:26 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

This

Archie, is it you? Before or after?

My friends are real dicks. 

[tloonya]

Jun 9, 2016 13:11:47 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jun 9, 2016 13:10:38 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Archie, is it you? Before or after?

My friends are real dicks. 

Aren't real better than having friends operated by batteries

[alabamagal]

I think pretty much all colleges have education about consent.  There may be nuances, but I don't think any of them say it is ok to have sex with someone who is unconscious.  I actually saw an article saying the the Stanford "consent" education is not working, because of the one case.  Not sure I agree with it.  You can educate young adults and impact some, but not all.

If education worked, then there would be no DUIs.  I think everyone understands that DUI is wrong, yet some still do it.  Education hopefully is decreasing the incidence, but it will never be 0.  When under the influence of alcohol, you will do things that you wouldn't do when sober.  Some will get behind the wheel, even though they say they won't when sober.  Some people get in fights when drunk.  Some rape.

I tried to raise my kids to know right from wrong at a very young age.  Way before any discussion of rape.  That way discussions of rape made an impact when they were old enough.  

I have had discussions with my youngest (21) about the current case.  I know how he says he would act in that situation.  I just hope that he would behave that way under all circumstances - and I have no reason to doubt he wouldn't.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 9, 2016 10:31:22 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I hate anything that has to do with abuse of humans or animals or human rights...

However I must say if girls weren't getting wasted so often - rape cases would

be reduced by at least 50%.

And you can't 'tell' anything to the boys to not to rape. All know it is wrong.

Men are having hearts and brains. Some just are not having enough hearts.

Kind people will never do this out of simple decency. It is also applied to

'do not kill' and all 10 commandments.

Some people just aren't decent people and whatever you 'tell' them, even

threatened by death sentence is not going to work!

I think we need to tell our girls how to protect themselves from rape and other

troubles and maybe teach them some self-protection and than some so they

wouldn't fall prays to these heartless animals in human bodies.

LOL!  You would think so, wouldn't you?  but I'm getting beat up for thinking that way

[Virgil Showlion]

On what are we basing the assumption that rapists and would-be rapists don't understand consent?

As the "tea" video points out, it's a simple concept. It's also a topic that any K-12 student (i.e. everybody) will be exposed to multiple times.

Why not entertain the more straightforward possibility: that these individuals are perfectly aware of the rules of consent, but don't care enough to abide by them? That seems like the most reasonable explanation for why the problem has reached epidemic proportions.