Do you worry more as you get older?

[Deleted]

We are getting new sunroom furniture (how many threads can I start about this?) so we wanted to get rid of the furniture currently in there.  I bought it used but in great condition back in 2004 when I bought the house.  The colors say 1990s.  The weight says high quality wood frame.  But it was time for us to move on.

I've given tons of stuff away including sofas, but I really was anxious about this.  Lazy-boy won't remove it.  I first tried to hire a guy on the Facebook trading sites to haul it off, but he said he would be too expensive.  Lol.  He told me to try the thrift store.  But they won't come inside your house, and DH and I couldn't move it.  

I posted pictures on Facebook and made it free.  I got plenty of responders (it looked good if you like pink/blue).  Then I started worrying about the people coming to our house.  I worried they would trip and sue us.  I worried that they would see DH's drugs on the counter (clearly marked PAIN on the lid) and come back and kill us.  I worried they would case the place for a general robbery.  I actually woke up several times last night to pray that it would be ok.

Is this normal?  I have never worried in my life about this kind of stuff even when maybe I should have.  I have met total strangers from CL or FB.  I've hired handymen.  I've sold stuff that required people to come into my home.

Am I getting wiser or getting older/paranoid?  By the way, pick-up was fine.  Nice family with two teen-aged kids to do the lifting.

[zibazinski]

I think you're more aware thanks to the media that there's bad people out there. It's easy to forget that there's still good people too and so far, they still outnumber the bad

[ezzzie]

I would be paranoid, too. There are a lot of slimy people in the world with all kinds of scams. That's why I have never done anything on Craig's List. My safety is my number one concern (even more than money).

[Deleted]

I'm finding I worry less. But that's got more to do with how much I worried before.

[Tiny]

Is this normal? I have never worried in my life about this kind of stuff even when maybe I should have. I have met total strangers from CL or FB. I've hired handymen. I've sold stuff that required people to come into my home.

IDK... I agree that the constant barrage of bad stuff on the news/media adds fuel to the fire... and it can make one's mind run in circles...

BUT there are other things that do it to you:
Because I'm a 52 yo woman who's struggling with some really ugly anger issues (due to perimenopause). I'm not talking like annoyance, or being in a bad mood/cranky... I'm talking nearly nonstop overwhelming ANGER at everything - the air, the color blue, that guy over there, my cats, my friends, my family... EVERYTHING. I think I could kill someone with no remorse. It's scary. I can't distract myself from it, I can't make it go away with meditation or thinking happy thoughts. It's giving me bad dreams and messing with my sleep (which just makes it worse). OK, I've been to the doctor and gotten some pills to help straighten out my 'hormones' and it's gotten better, lots better. But still, that experience of Burning HOT Anger for no particular reason was disconcerting. I hear other women experience things like anxiety or paranoia or depression or other strong/swinging emotions. I just got 'lucky' and got stuck with the homicidal manic version. (Oh, yeah, I'd pay for a hot flash - I'm freezing (less since I started taking the pills). I sometimes think my dead frozen body will be found in an 80 degree room and the authorities will be baffled as to how I died of hypothermia...)

I've also witnessed friends on various types of medications who's side effects "mess with their heads" - either because of long term poor sleep or just one of the side effects of the medication. Having diabetes seems to add a layer of anxiety (or depression) to the mix as well. They've reported feelings of out of the ordinary anxiety/paranoia over 'stupid stuff' and they have mentioned it's a side effect of whatever they have (or what they are taking).

I've also witnessed friends who where going thru a long term difficult time - lots of stress and/or little/poor sleep... who got alittle irrational and anxious -- not being well rested messes with your head.

Basically, what I'm saying is that it's normal to worry about/consider the things you mentioned: inviting strangers into your home and the out in the open medications - the long term 'worry' and losing sleep over it though - that's not exactly 'normal' - do you have some underlying stuff (evil hormonal imbalance/medications/an illness/lack of sleep/long term stress that's 'messing with your head'?

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2016 23:04:43 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Is this normal? I have never worried in my life about this kind of stuff even when maybe I should have. I have met total strangers from CL or FB. I've hired handymen. I've sold stuff that required people to come into my home.

IDK... I agree that the constant barrage of bad stuff on the news/media adds fuel to the fire... and it can make one's mind run in circles...

BUT there are other things that do it to you:
Because I'm a 52 yo woman who's struggling with some really ugly anger issues (due to perimenopause). I'm not talking like annoyance, or being in a bad mood/cranky... I'm talking nearly nonstop overwhelming ANGER at everything - the air, the color blue, that guy over there, my cats, my friends, my family... EVERYTHING. I think I could kill someone with no remorse. It's scary. I can't distract myself from it, I can't make it go away with meditation or thinking happy thoughts. It's giving me bad dreams and messing with my sleep (which just makes it worse). OK, I've been to the doctor and gotten some pills to help straighten out my 'hormones' and it's gotten better, lots better. But still, that experience of Burning HOT Anger for no particular reason was disconcerting. I hear other women experience things like anxiety or paranoia or depression or other strong/swinging emotions. I just got 'lucky' and got stuck with the homicidal manic version. (Oh, yeah, I'd pay for a hot flash - I'm freezing (less since I started taking the pills). I sometimes think my dead frozen body will be found in an 80 degree room and the authorities will be baffled as to how I died of hypothermia...)

I've also witnessed friends on various types of medications who's side effects "mess with their heads" - either because of long term poor sleep or just one of the side effects of the medication. Having diabetes seems to add a layer of anxiety (or depression) to the mix as well. They've reported feelings of out of the ordinary anxiety/paranoia over 'stupid stuff' and they have mentioned it's a side effect of whatever they have (or what they are taking).

I've also witnessed friends who where going thru a long term difficult time - lots of stress and/or little/poor sleep... who got alittle irrational and anxious -- not being well rested messes with your head.

Basically, what I'm saying is that it's normal to worry about/consider the things you mentioned: inviting strangers into your home and the out in the open medications - the long term 'worry' and losing sleep over it though - that's not exactly 'normal' - do you have some underlying stuff (evil hormonal imbalance/medications/an illness/lack of sleep/long term stress that's 'messing with your head'?

I figured the punchline to your post was that it only happened once you hit 55, or 60, or 62 o5 whenever.

I do worry more because I have to factor DH's reaction into stuff.  He kept asking me did I tell him we weren't loading it (yes) and stuff like that.  So some of it was pleasing him worry, and some of it was we were going to die worry.  Lol.

It just startled me how much this "worried" me.  Most were easy fixes.  There were no meds out.  The IPads were put up.  The dog was put up but allowed to growl.  Lol.  But I can't explain how many times I woke up and asked God to make this "all right."  

I don't want to be one of those paranoid old ladies who think someone has stolen their pajamas!. That was my aunt's frequent complaint.  

[midjd]

The older I get, the more aware I become of all the different horrible things that can happen to you... so I do worry more.

After I got my driver's license, I used to pick up hitchhikers all the time (usually they just needed a ride across the bridge or up the hill, neither my hometown nor my college town were very pedestrian-friendly). I also hitched rides with strangers several times when I had car trouble or lost my keys. Never did it cross my mind that I was doing something dangerous. This was as recent as 2012 or so when my clutch went out on the side of the interstate and a very kind man ended up towing me to a repair shop with his trailer. If that happened today, I think I would sit in my car with the doors locked until DH or a friend came to pick me up, even though I never had a bad experience. 

I have also become a lot more uncomfortable having strangers over here for Craigslist deals. When we sold our Civic, it was on a Friday night to a couple of guys who seemed just a tiny bit shady, and I remember looking at DH after they left and saying "great, now they know where we live and that we have $1K+ in cash all weekend..."  Since DD was born, we do all our Craigslist exchanges at the gas station down the road. 

So I don't think you are being paranoid (or if you are, you're not alone). Sometimes I look back and am amazed at the situations I put myself in without a second thought to safety, even as a pretty conservative/risk-averse adult.

[quince]

Yes, but mostly because I have too much to lose now, and I didn't a decade ago. Mostly because I have a child, really.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If aniexty gets worse as you age then I am doomed. There isn't enough room for more.

I know with kids I developed a lot of new worries. I've lived on this Street all my life yet now that I have kids I'm terrified of how busy it is.

That's just one of my kid related phobias.

I worry more about money, more about our jobs.

I have a lot more to lose and a lot more depending on me than when I was younger. A job loss as a college student wasn't near as big a deal as it is as a parent.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

We went to Vancover last weekend for this very purpose.  TD's mom sold her house and downsizing from about 2800 sq ft to 900.  So she is getting rid of a LOT.  Last weekend, someone was coming to pick up some furniture and she didn't want to be alone in the house when they arrived.  It turned out they were a really nice couple, but you never know.

[zibazinski]

Yikes, no wonder I get had. I'm naive.

[marvholly]

Hey, I am a 69 y/o woman living alone. i do NOT even answer the door unless I am expecting someone & I see their car outside.

[Blonde Granny]

I find I'm just more conscious now of things that could happen, i.e is not watching where I'm going or what I'm doing and falling. I too gave away furniture to the brother of my neighbor even though I've used CL before with no problems. I don't like people knowing I'm a widow because to me that puts a target on me to become a potential victim of a con man.

Similar to Holly, I tend to keep my travels around town to the same places, and places where I know I'm safe.  Even just being what some would consider an "elderly woman" you automatically become a target.

I sold my .22 cal. Walther P22 semi-automatic handgun, but am seriously considering buying a revolver and getting my carry permit,  I even had a sales lady at Dillards yesterday show my the side zipper of a handbag telling me there was room for my handgun in that compartment.

My Mercedes has a system similar to On-Star and I keep the subscription up to date.  Driving 400 mi to my sons home gives me a much better feeling when I know safety is just a button away.

[zibazinski]

I'll be replacing my Smith down here.

[Blonde Granny]

My DH picked out my .22 but it was difficult for me to clear the chamber as the strength is my hands is not as good as it was 10+ years ago. Whichever one I decide on, it want it powerful enough to put someone down, not piss them off.

[zibazinski]

You need a 9.

[Deleted]

Me? is that you? Lol...

I would react the exact same (paranoid?) way, seriously. And no, I don't find it out of line in today's environment, not at all. And yes, I'm older @ 58.5 and maybe that has something to do w/it, but oh well; it is what it is.  It's a mean, violent and awfully scary world out there. It's also a very kind, beautiful place.....trouble is you can't tell the good from the bad!

Whenever I bought something years ago off CL, (haven't bought in a few years now and never sold anything...see opening of my post..haha) I'd never go alone to someone's home...and then because of my err uhm.. "worry" I not only took someone w/me, but was STILL paranoid to enter their home! 

You're normal to me!

[Deleted]

I worked in property-casualty insurance for my whole career. I worry about everything!

I've used Craigslist for free stuff that I put out at the end of our driveway. Very clean; no one knocking on the door and nearly everything disappears. I do delete the ad as soon as the item is gone.

The only person who came into the house was a guy who had to disassemble the giant 8-foot desk in my office to get it downstairs. He was very nice. I sure wouldn't want to make a deal for anything involving large amounts of money on CL. Our police department welcomes people who want to do CL transactions in their parking lot.

[Deleted]

 I am at home right now with two workers' rewiring in my basement. Y'all making me pull out my metal baseball bat from under my bed and my machete..  Just in case. 

[alabamagal]

I think it is pretty normal that we worry more as we get older. I guess it is just the consequences of hearing about bad things happening, experiencing loss and getting near the age when we will be gone.

I have 3 kids in their 20s. Their attitude is that nothing bad will happen to them. And when something bad happens they are sad for a bit but then go on. I was probably that way in my 20s but now things worry me more.

For example I am always nervous when my kids are driving long distances. I know they roll their eyes and think I worry too much, but just take 10 seconds and text me that you arrived safely. Last year there was a terrible accident at the university where my son used to attend before transferring. It was a group of young women that were killed on the interstate driving to an assignment for nursing classes. My son knew one of them from our hometown. I tell him that is why I worry about him. He still thinks it won't happen to him. That is the difference between how it affects someone in 20s vs someone in 50s.

[gregintenn]

I've never been able to fix anything by worrying about it, so I've decided that worrying is a waste of my time.

[zibazinski]

Feb 28, 2016 9:09:48 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

I think it is pretty normal that we worry more as we get older. I guess it is just the consequences of hearing about bad things happening, experiencing loss and getting near the age when we will be gone.

I have 3 kids in their 20s. Their attitude is that nothing bad will happen to them. And when something bad happens they are sad for a bit but then go on. I was probably that way in my 20s but now things worry me more.

For example I am always nervous when my kids are driving long distances. I know they roll their eyes and think I worry too much, but just take 10 seconds and text me that you arrived safely. Last year there was a terrible accident at the university where my son used to attend before transferring. It was a group of young women that were killed on the interstate driving to an assignment for nursing classes. My son knew one of them from our hometown. I tell him that is why I worry about him. He still thinks it won't happen to him. That is the difference between how it affects someone in 20s vs someone in 50s.

We're closer to the END.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yes, but it's mostly because my kids are 6 and almost 8. And a lot of it ties into their safety.

[NoNamePerson]

I learned at a very early age to sit with my back to the wall and my eyes on the door. Not paranoid but always conscious of surrounding, people and I trust my gut first and foremost. Don't sit around worrying about stuff at all but if something makes me go hmmm my antenna goes up full tilt and it has served me well over the years.

I'm not a scaredy cat by any stretch of the imagination - probably just the opposite but having street smarts early on has kept me out of some dumb/dangerous/stupid situations!!! 

ETA: to answer the OP - Nope don't worry more as I get older - damn I'm so old it wouldn't do any good anyway. Takes up what little brain matter I have left - more important things to use brain for - like remembering why I went into the kitchen  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Feb 28, 2016 7:08:36 GMT -5 marvholly said:

Hey, I am a 69 y/o woman living alone. i do NOT even answer the door unless I am expecting someone & I see their car outside.

I never did this when I was living alone, regardless of age.

Fortunately, we are so far off the beaten track that the only ones who come over unexpectedly now are neighbors.

[resolution]

I find that I am worrying less now that I am older and more confident. I think it's partially because I have more resources to take care of myself and avoid bad situations. However I still avoid situations like having strangers from Craigslist coming into my home, because it just doesn't seem worth the small risk.

[gregintenn]

Feb 28, 2016 12:14:02 GMT -5 resolution said:

I find that I am worrying less now that I am older and more confident. I think it's partially because I have more resources to take care of myself and avoid bad situations. However I still avoid situations like having strangers from Craigslist coming into my home, because it just doesn't seem worth the small risk.

Perhaps I'm the luckiest guy on the planet, but I've had nothing but the best of experiences with craigslist.

[Deleted]

Feb 28, 2016 12:16:17 GMT -5 gregintenn said:

Feb 28, 2016 12:14:02 GMT -5 resolution said:

I find that I am worrying less now that I am older and more confident. I think it's partially because I have more resources to take care of myself and avoid bad situations. However I still avoid situations like having strangers from Craigslist coming into my home, because it just doesn't seem worth the small risk.

Perhaps I'm the luckiest guy on the planet, but I've had nothing but the best of experiences with craigslist.

I use Kijiji and have had no problems.

[tloonya]

Feb 28, 2016 9:15:34 GMT -5 gregintenn said:

I've never been able to fix anything by worrying about it, so I've decided that worrying is a waste of my time.

Now teach me how!!!

[tloonya]

Nah...I am same batshit crazy neurotic as I was at 5 y/old.

Yesssss I can remember.