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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2016 13:04:56 GMT -5
If you ever want a good laugh check out the craigslist casual encounters section (as long as you aren't with any minors or anyone easily offended). We used to try to guess from the pics if it was a chick or tranny (hint, sometimes you really can't tell).
I worry less at this point in my life, I prepare as best I can for different scenarios and realize the rest is out of my control.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 28, 2016 14:33:20 GMT -5
If you ever want a good laugh check out the craigslist casual encounters section (as long as you aren't with any minors or anyone easily offended). We used to try to guess from the pics if it was a chick or tranny (hint, sometimes you really can't tell). I worry less at this point in my life, I prepare as best I can for different scenarios and realize the rest is out of my control. To both. 95% of people are good. The averages are with me.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 28, 2016 15:53:22 GMT -5
And know how to use it. We recently sold a car. It was unnerving. H. went on the test drive. The people came a check when DH said no check. They went to the bank and brought back CASH . A lot of scenarios ran through our heads. Nothing happened.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 28, 2016 15:57:41 GMT -5
I've never been able to fix anything by worrying about it, so I've decided that worrying is a waste of my time. Now teach me how!!! Change what you can and learn to live with the rest.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Feb 28, 2016 16:11:44 GMT -5
If you ever want a good laugh check out the craigslist casual encounters section (as long as you aren't with any minors or anyone easily offended). We used to try to guess from the pics if it was a chick or tranny (hint, sometimes you really can't tell). I worry less at this point in my life, I prepare as best I can for different scenarios and realize the rest is out of my control. To both. 95% of people are good. The averages are with me. I guess that depends on how you define good. I think more than 5% of people are at the very least morally or ethically compromised. Ethics and morals are what you do when no one is looking and it seems like technology has shown us what a lot of people are like when they think no one is looking. To the OP if I sell anything to someone I don't know I'm meeting them at a neutral place because I don't want them coming to my house and seeing what I have. It's not because I think they're thieving murderers it's because I don't know them or what they're capable of. Most people are good and will do what's right but I'm not going to run the risk of being too open or trusting with people who may not be.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 28, 2016 17:03:12 GMT -5
I've never been able to fix anything by worrying about it, so I've decided that worrying is a waste of my time. Now teach me how!!! Don't worry, be happy!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 28, 2016 18:24:46 GMT -5
And know how to use it. We recently sold a car. It was unnerving. H. went on the test drive. The people came a check when DH said no check. They went to the bank and brought back CASH . A lot of scenarios ran through our heads. Nothing happened. Ok, you won't take a check. And you're surprised they come back with cash. What are they supposed to pay with?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 28, 2016 19:24:52 GMT -5
Don't worry, be happy! I did not open that video but a pox on your first born for even posting it with the Title to be seen. Now I have to head out to put on some PF to drown out that song
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 28, 2016 20:26:02 GMT -5
And know how to use it. We recently sold a car. It was unnerving. H. went on the test drive. The people came a check when DH said no check. They went to the bank and brought back CASH . A lot of scenarios ran through our heads. Nothing happened. Ok, you won't take a check. And you're surprised they come back with cash. What are they supposed to pay with? Cashier's check or money order.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 28, 2016 20:37:02 GMT -5
Ok, you won't take a check. And you're surprised they come back with cash. What are they supposed to pay with? Cashier's check or money order. You do know that cashier's checks and money orders aren't hard to forge and a common way for con artists to rip people off, right? Unless you physically observe them purchasing the cashier's check or money order, those are not significantly less risky than taking a personal check.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 28, 2016 20:47:26 GMT -5
I do know now. This car transaction took place in early January. An attorney told me that about a week ago in light of a long distance closing on some property. I am very nervous about.
I would like electronic transfer directly to my account. Then I wonder how many ways that could go wrong.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 28, 2016 20:54:18 GMT -5
Ok, you won't take a check. And you're surprised they come back with cash. What are they supposed to pay with? Cashier's check or money order. Hell, I would have assumed you wanted cash. I bought my son a truck one Sunday morning off craigslist. I started to write the guy a check, and he asked if I didn't have cash. I told him if he knew of a bank open on Sunday morning we could go get cash, but otherwise, a check was the best I could do on such short notice. He took the check.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 28, 2016 20:56:30 GMT -5
I do know now. This car transaction took place in early January. An attorney told me that about a week ago in light of a long distance closing on some property. I am very nervous about. I would like electronic transfer directly to my account. Then I wonder how many ways that could go wrong. LOL! You aren't paranoid if they're really out to get you.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 28, 2016 21:16:46 GMT -5
I have lived alone most of my adult life. I don't open the door if I don't know someone is coming over.
When it comes to Craig's List and Freecycle, I usually have them meet me in a public place, like a restaurant. There is one in town where the hostess knows my name. Nothing will happen to me there.
I did let someone come to the house to take away a LaZBoy I no longer wanted. He brought his mother with him, so I didn't feel afraid at all. I also wanted that thing gone!
I have to let repairmen in with just me being here because it is just me.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 28, 2016 21:24:51 GMT -5
I have lived alone most of my adult life. I don't open the door if I don't know someone is coming over. When it comes to Craig's List and Freecycle, I usually have them meet me in a public place, like a restaurant. There is one in town where the hostess knows my name. Nothing will happen to me there. I did let someone come to the house to take away a LaZBoy I no longer wanted. He brought his mother with him, so I didn't feel afraid at all. I also wanted that thing gone! I have to let repairmen in with just me being here because it is just me. Cheers? Sorry my fingers were on the keyboard typing before I could stop them.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 28, 2016 21:26:44 GMT -5
I always tell them they are like Cheers, but they are too young to understand what I'm talking about. The owner gets it!
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 28, 2016 21:30:01 GMT -5
I guess this is an example of people that should have worried.
We had wind blowing hard all day, started early this AM or before, it was gusting to 50 mph, horrible. So this afternoon we hear sirens off and on. Police cars, ambulance, other vehicle. About 1/2 mile to a mile from us is a power plant lake. 4 guys were in a boat, can you imagine and of course it capsized. 2 people were transported to Indianapolis for severe hypothermia, one with back issues a young juvenile I think. 1 is missing and didn't have a life jacket I'm sure everyone is assuming he is dead. Who in the world would get out on a day like this. Just so sad this could have been prevented by being concerned. I didn't worry. I simply didn't take my boat to the lake today. Having good sense and worrying aren't the same.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2016 22:05:34 GMT -5
You can't always meet someone in a safe place although that is my preference. DH sold a car. We let the guy take it out for a test ride without either of us. If someone wants the car bad enough to steal it, they don't have to kill us first. When DH bought the replacement car, we also went on the test drive alone.
Other stuff we've sold by letting people into our home--deck furniture. We actually only let them in the sunroom. Bedroom furniture. I'd talked to them on the Facebook trading site. I knew it was a grandmother and her daughter. And this sofa/loveseat. This was the first time I worried. The woman removed her posting, and I asked why. She said "so everyone won't know my business." That removal really bothered me, but I think it was because she didn't want everyone to know where it came from and for free. I understand that sort of.
If you know a better way for old people to get rid of furniture, please share it with me. We can't move it to the curb these days. I tried to hire someone. You get the idea . . .
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Feb 29, 2016 0:15:42 GMT -5
Have you tried getting rid of stuff using one the Facebook garage sale sites? You can choose to notify only people in your community. Or, as others have mentioned, meet the buyer at a public place.
I avoid Craigslist when I can. We've had a few crazies just in our own area (including a murder). I don't want to sell ANYTHING that badly.
When we were clearing some of the larger furniture pieces out of Mom's house, I did end up hiring a couple of handymen to move items into Mom's garage. I feel safer showing strangers furniture in the garage, with the big door open, rather than letting them into the house.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Feb 29, 2016 6:45:23 GMT -5
I live in metro Chicago. Our shootings/home invasions/......have been ALL over the national news for a couple years now.
I remember when those incidents only happened in minority areas. Now they are invading 'good' neighborhoods & the highways we all need to travel to get anywhere. Of course, I worry more these days.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 7:08:40 GMT -5
Have you tried getting rid of stuff using one the Facebook garage sale sites? You can choose to notify only people in your community. Or, as others have mentioned, meet the buyer at a public place.
That's what I used. Around here, they are called trading sites. I don't actually use Craigslist these days. All of the people who have been in my house were from FB. That makes it a little safer, but my "community" is a large city.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 10:20:03 GMT -5
Pat, I live on a lake and you wouldn't believe how many ice fisherman have 'gone through' the ice this year....and how many have not lived because of their stupidity to ice fish during a mild winter....can't believe it everytime I hear it, which has been at least a half dozen (or more) times this year alone...I seriously smh...
But I'm @ my cottage since mid Feb. Dh (52) just began a year long sabbatical.....OR an even earlier retirement than we thought by 3 yrs! Tbd...lol..he turned 52 in January.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 29, 2016 10:43:39 GMT -5
I used CL to sell a heavy bookcase. I made sure DH was home when the couple came to look at it. Turns out the husband was a disabled vet (in a wheelchair) and could not navigate the stairs. His wife came up and looked at it and we agreed that we'd deliver it (they weren't too far away). Nice people!!!
Do I worry more? Well I don't worry less but the things I worry about have changed. I do worry about the people I care about (kids/g-kids, DH)
I think zibanski nailed it - if you watch the news a lot, all you'll see are awful things happening, seemingly everywhere. You'll start to thing everyone and everything is evil and out to get you.
I suggest watching less news and just using some common sense in everyday situations.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 10:52:22 GMT -5
I worry too GG moreso for my kids and gkids truly than for myself. And I did make a new year's resolution to watch less news also...which helps tremendously..
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Feb 29, 2016 11:08:59 GMT -5
I still worry about the people I love and their safety, but that worry is changing.
For example, I worry that my kids will have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction to something they eat and I won't be there to make sure they get an Epi Pen immediately. But, then, because they are moving on in their lives, I no longer worry as much that *I* will F*ck up and feed them something they are allergic to (hasn't happened yet because I am so freakishly hyper-vigilant).
I worry as I send my kids into the world that they will do something stupid and be hurt (or worse) or that someone will hurt them (or worse). The mixed blessing of a wealthy suburban childhood is that major crime is low but then kids don't necessarily develop street smarts. So, while I didn't worry too much about them being the victims of crime here at home, I now worry about whether I forgot to teach them some critical lesson they need to know to stay safe in the world.
It's interesting: where I used to worry about keeping my children safe while in my care, I now worry about whether they are keeping themselves safe.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 29, 2016 11:09:44 GMT -5
And I did make a new year's resolution to watch less news also...which helps tremendously.. Good resolution. Everybody's different, but I find it much easier to be rational about news when I read it - in the paper or on line - than if I watch a newscast. For some reason, maybe it's editing or the personal note of a human reading it with inflection or the visuals, seeing a news story creates a much more emotional response in me than reading the same story does. When the boys were little we made the conscious decision to not have news playing on the TV because of the effect it could have on them and that's been a good thing for our family.
Even with reading the news you have to be a little careful about remembering the context. Sometimes nothing has actually changed, but there is suddenly more news coverage about it which implies something alarming is going on. A good example was a few years ago when the media picked up news stories about some shark bites in Florida and then kept covering all shark bites as they happened - no matter how minor - and referring to it as a crisis and the "Year of the Shark". People were terrified and the coverage made it seem like there was a strange and unexplained increase in the number of shark bites. But if you looked at the history, there wasn't a significant change in the number of bites, there was just a change in the amount of media focus those bites were receiving. Didn't mean the bites weren't happening, but it did mean there wasn't some unexplained change happening and for the people who'd been swimming in the water all this time - they were at the exact same risk they'd always been, just been blissfully unfreaked out prior to that point.
I grew up in a smallish town in Florida, then lived in another smallish town in North Carolina. When DH and I moved to Phoenix and we started watching the nightly news there it felt like the world was ending or we were suddenly living in a war zone. Overnight, we went from hickish interviews of Billy Bob talking about how someone broke into his double wide and busted his microwave to coverage about a gang related driveby shooting and a neighborhood dispute that culminated in one neighbor poisoning the other neighbor's 15 Chow Chows and shots being fired. Every night the news just seemed to get worse and I started to wonder if we'd made a major mistake moving to this hellhole (By the way, people who are familiar with Phoenix can start laughing now because we lived in a nice place at 44th St and Camelback, a stone's throw from where then governor Symingon, most of the Phoenix Suns, Alice Cooper, etc lived. It wasn't exactly the barrio.) But over time I realized that in a metro area with over 3 million people each and every day something awful and crazy was going to happen; didn't mean it was happening everywhere to everyone and didn't mean it would happen to me.
So a simple switch in the type or source of news you're watching can definitely make a difference in how you interpret what's happening around you.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 29, 2016 11:43:01 GMT -5
I've always been a "What If" girl, and in DH's words, I could "What If" him to death.
I have lots of anxiety, pretty much about everything. This morning my anxiety includes work issues, the weather for the week, and whether or not DD2 will behave in preschool. I also have some anxiety over FHC prep, house cleaning (DS is having a sleepover), our finances, the health of some family members, the list goes on and on...
What has changed is how I handle that anxiety.
For me, that means three things: 1) I'm now able to articulate my anxieties in a useful/helpful way. I didn't know what to do with my anxiety. My usual MO used to be to bottle it up until I had arguments with DH about spoons.
2) Learning to live in the present and finding things that are very meditative for me. Knitting and needlework are very meditative.
3) Finding my faith. I'm still a God helps those who help themselves girl and I don't think prayer is the answer that cures everything...but, still I find some of the tenants of my faith to be very comforting.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 11:51:39 GMT -5
I use Facebook and Craigslist so much. I had a lot of crap apparently. In fact I'm meeting someone in my work parking lot at noon today to get rid of some more. I don't worry much about people, especially when meeting in a public place, but I've also had people come to the house and gone to other people's houses too without giving it much thought. I go by the odds. When you figure how many people are buying and selling this way these days, the odds of being a Craigslist murder victim are pretty slim. I got my van over Craigslist too and paid 14K cash, but we went to the bank and I did the withdrawal there and they signed the bill of sale at the same time. Wells Fargo was pretty diligent. They took me into another room to talk to me first to make sure I wasn't being held at gunpoint to take the cash out.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 12:17:53 GMT -5
I agree milee.
I also agree giramomma re: Faith...I have deepened my walk tremendously over the past few years re: my Faith and receive sooo much comfort in reading my Bible and related spiritual books. Haha...yesterday Dh actually walked up to me and handed me one of my Bibles bcz apparently I was complaining too much!!! I am a much better person remembering that my life is a gift and to act accordingly....but I AM human, have emotions! and make mistakes everyday!
But I thought that was funny when dh did that!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 29, 2016 13:55:14 GMT -5
I guess this is an example of people that should have worried.
We had wind blowing hard all day, started early this AM or before, it was gusting to 50 mph, horrible. So this afternoon we hear sirens off and on. Police cars, ambulance, other vehicle. About 1/2 mile to a mile from us is a power plant lake. 4 guys were in a boat, can you imagine and of course it capsized. 2 people were transported to Indianapolis for severe hypothermia, one with back issues a young juvenile I think. 1 is missing and didn't have a life jacket I'm sure everyone is assuming he is dead. Who in the world would get out on a day like this. Just so sad this could have been prevented by being concerned. that was just stupid on their part.
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