Is this the life you wanted?

[Deleted]

I'm unclear about how zib was used. Does anyone want to explain it to me?

[NastyWoman]

Feb 26, 2016 15:53:19 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I'm unclear about how zib was used. Does anyone want to explain it to me?

REALLY Yoo don't know when to stop, do you?

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Feb 26, 2016 15:53:19 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I'm unclear about how zib was used. Does anyone want to explain it to me?

REALLY Yoo don't know when to stop, do you?

It's a serious question. Can you tell me?

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2016 16:46:09 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Feb 26, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

REALLY Yoo don't know when to stop, do you?

It's a serious question. Can you tell me?

I think she is disappointed with how some things went and is struggling now. Sometimes life is hard in ways that it is hard for others to see. I have never been a big zib fan, but I wish her well.

[gregintenn]

<abbr>*Post removed by request.*
</abbr>

[mmhmm]

Feb 26, 2016 17:37:51 GMT -5 @hickle said:

Feb 26, 2016 16:46:09 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

It's a serious question. Can you tell me?

I think she is disappointed with how some things went and is struggling now. Sometimes life is hard in ways that it is hard for others to see. I have never been a big zib fan, but I wish her well.

So true, hickle. Life isn't always a bed of roses for anyone. For someone trying to navigate through the grieving process, it's even more complicated. A bit of understanding and the realization we don't know what it's really like to walk in another's moccasins can go a long way. When another is going through a particularly difficult time, I've always found it's better for that person, and for me, to keep my nose in my own business and just listen while that person vents. That's one thing the internet offers us that we can find nowhere else - a place to vent as an anonymous being. I think that's a great outlet to have.

[kittensaver]

Feb 26, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Feb 26, 2016 15:53:19 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I'm unclear about how zib was used. Does anyone want to explain it to me?

REALLY Yoo don't know when to stop, do you?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Back to the op, today, right now, this is most definitely NOT the life I wanted, in damn near any shape or form, except possibly the beer.

[kittensaver]

Feb 26, 2016 17:42:17 GMT -5 gregintenn said:

Feb 26, 2016 16:34:10 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

REALLY Yoo don't know when to stop, do you?

contents deleted at the request of a mod.

[zibazinski]

It's sad watching a poster I respected vying for the sycophant of the year award.

[Blonde Granny]

For those of you who feel it is necessary to tell the story of someone else, just because someone wants to gossip about things need to understand....it is not your story to tell. If you choose to talk about your marriage, divorce, income etc. that is entirely up to you, but please going forward, the best thing to respond to someone requesting information is this: You'd have to ask ABC about that.

This opinion has nothing to do with the TOS or CoC, it has everything to do with being kind to others just as you would appreciate the same kindness.

BG

[Deleted]

but she WAS, as a spouse, expecting to have *some* level of financial provisions made for her going forward (forward meaning, into an eventual widowhood). That is a very reasonable expectation for any spouse, IMHO.

She has a lifetime income from the trust. She has her own money as well so she isn't bereft.

And I still don't understand why she feels she was used.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 26, 2016 20:06:07 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

but she WAS, as a spouse, expecting to have *some* level of financial provisions made for her going forward (forward meaning, into an eventual widowhood). That is a very reasonable expectation for any spouse, IMHO.

She has a lifetime income from the trust. She has her own money as well so she isn't bereft.

And I still don't understand why she feels she was used.

and you don't have to understand why. Zib is a fellow human being and not some kind of experiment you can poke and prod and cut open to see exactly how she works. Please leave her alone.

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 26, 2016 20:06:07 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

but she WAS, as a spouse, expecting to have *some* level of financial provisions made for her going forward (forward meaning, into an eventual widowhood). That is a very reasonable expectation for any spouse, IMHO.

She has a lifetime income from the trust. She has her own money as well so she isn't bereft.

And I still don't understand why she feels she was used.

That's OK.  Not everything in this world is meant for us to understand.   You'll be OK.

[Jaguar]

Later it's not your business to keep a tally on Zib's life. Leave her alone


Sugilite - Administrator

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 26, 2016 19:23:33 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

It's sad watching a poster I respected vying for the sycophant of the year award.

Huh.  That's not the word I was thinking of.  

Zibby and those that have her back...    

[kittensaver]

Feb 26, 2016 19:34:23 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

For those of you who feel it is necessary to tell the story of someone else, just because someone wants to gossip about things need to understand....it is not your story to tell. If you choose to talk about your marriage, divorce, income etc. that is entirely up to you, but please going forward, the best thing to respond to someone requesting information is this: You'd have to ask ABC about that.

This opinion has nothing to do with the TOS or CoC, it has everything to do with being kind to others just as you would appreciate the same kindness.

BG

sorry - I didn't think I was gossiping. I believed that I was merely re-stating things that zib herself put publicly on these boards. Do you want me to delete the post?

[Deleted]

Feb 23, 2016 17:40:59 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Feb 23, 2016 17:05:11 GMT -5 @empressspunkles said:

I know you're right. You are absolutely right. I have realized I will be 43 next month and I need to change. One question though, do I really need to be sober to do it?

not in a million years would I have guessed that.

You are soooooo good for my ego!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think next time you get the "sparkle" rinsed out of your hair, I need to go with you. Either that or you really need glasses.

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2016 13:09:13 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Feb 23, 2016 17:12:14 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Because they can drain and suck the life out of you. I told my aunt, as bad as it sounds, that I will never remarry again bcuz if some guy tries to turn me into a nurse again, I'm gone. I don't care what people think about me anymore. A guy would have bailed on me in a NYM if he'd have had to deal with the last few years of my life.

Zib, I really think you are selling yourself short.  You are worth that to someone.  There are Men who lovingly care for their spouses who have breast cancer, Alzheimer's etc too.  My Mom cared for my Dad for many years refusing to put him in a skilled nursing facility.  I think she is glad that part of her life is done, but she is not bitter about it.  Would my Dad have done the same for her?  You bet he would have.   I urge you to seek some mental health treatment if you have not already done so.  You deserve to feel good about life again. 

Empress Punkles, I think it may be difficult for you because of the shift you work, but try to build some "Me" time into your weekly schedule.  My Mom had Thursday AM set up for a stained glass class.  She also had a weekday am bible study class, and more friends than you can shake a stick at to take her out to lunch here and there.  She also was invited to join a card club of ladies from her church who met once a month to play cards and socialize.  She had know the ladies for 25 or more years, the one thing they all shared in addition to their faith, was caretaking for loved ones though serious illness (MS, Brain Cancer, Diabetes and ALS), just make sure that if you are invited to participate in things like this that you don't refuse and when and if you do decide to carve out respite time, if you need other family members to make it happen that you call on them to do so.  Mom worked really hard to set up caregivers to give her that respite, and before he was eligible for caregivers paid by Medicare, she often had one of her children stop by with "lunch or dinner" for Dad so that he wasn't home alone for long stretches of time.

PS.  Mom had a really hard time making those caregivers adhere to a schedule that allowed a consistent day off for her, but she was able to shift things around so they came in once a week to help Mom give Dad a shower - something that was much easier to accomplish with help.  Sometimes you just have to be open to the possibilities.

DH has a nephew with  pretty set schedule who loves to spend time with him. I do need to call him and see when his days off are and see if he would take him out. Good thing is, he will take him to dentist appointments and whatnot if need be. I MUST remember to ask at his next appointment when his mother has her next appointment and have his brother pick him up and take him. They all go to the same same friggin' dentist, AND we are right on the way, so it's not like it would be a hardship for them.
My problem right now is my days off are not consistent anymore. They were but due to scheduling/personnel issue that changed. For now anyway. God, I hate my job.

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2016 13:14:37 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

I don't think I ever really had a plan, aside from living in the city and writing for a magazine. Working in the city editing licensing examinations is kind of close. Lol. Definitely more stable.

I love how my life ended up. I've made good decisions, I've made questionable choices, I've had simple dumb luck, I had way too much fun in my 20s, I've gotten more serious in my 30s, and I enjoyed every step of the way.

I used to think about working for a magazine and all but living in NY had absolutely no appeal to me. I like to read them but to work for them, no thanks. Unless they want copy editors/proofreaders because lately, ugh. I feel like my mother getting ready to take out the red pen, fix their errors and send them back. Oy. Hell, some of the books I've read lately I've wanted to ink them and send them their errors. How do you do it?

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2016 18:38:13 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Back to the op, today, right now, this is most definitely NOT the life I wanted, in damn near any shape or form, except possibly the beer.

Vodka dear, not beer. Ick.

[8 Bit WWBG]

Cripes, a lot of new lows being reached.

[kittensaver]

Feb 26, 2016 20:06:07 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

but she WAS, as a spouse, expecting to have *some* level of financial provisions made for her going forward (forward meaning, into an eventual widowhood). That is a very reasonable expectation for any spouse, IMHO.

She has a lifetime income from the trust. She has her own money as well so she isn't bereft.

And I still don't understand why she feels she was used.

Don't be dazzled by the words "a lifetime income from the trust." As a family trust administrator myself, I can assure you there are *many, many* moving parts. Depending on the size of the trust, the number of persons drawing on it and the terms of the draw (a flat amount only? a portion of interest only? a portion of certain assets only? a portion only of only the interest on only specific assets?) a draw might not come anywhere *near* enough to live on each year. Depending on the circumstances about which you know *nothing* - it is possible that a draw might not amount to any more than a pittance of special snowflake money. Don't assume that a trust means someone is rich or even well-off.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 27, 2016 9:52:40 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

Cripes, a lot of new lows being reached.

hey, me drinking beer us not a new low!

Lol