gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 4, 2016 13:28:12 GMT -5
Wow! This thread has taken quite a turn. I am telling you, greg... We didn't even know what fun is until now, right? I can say I've learned a LOT from this thread!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 4, 2016 13:39:37 GMT -5
This is going to be too much info BUT just for shizz and giggles. -- It really is no concern what's in someones pants... MAYBE even if you are being sexual with them I mean I found ways to be with my ex without her ever knowing I was trans ... i eventually told her though. she just thought I was exceptionally good in bed and could withhold for a VERY long time compared to her other partners -snickers- I very much disagree with this. I honestly don't care what anyone does or calls themselves unless it involves me personally. I am straight. I like men...I like men that are genetic men (I have no idea how to express myself and am really not trying to be offensive). I "think" I can tell when a man used to be a woman but perhaps I'm confusing the butch lesbian with someone who had the surgery?
But whatever, I would be so f'n pissed off if I dated a genetic female without knowing it. And that goes for someone that has had surgery or identifies as a different sex that what they were born with. If we are friends you owe me nothing. But if we are dating you damn well better be upfront about that. I am NOT ok with dating someone that used to be a female.
I can no longer have children. I am very upfront with men before we start dating because if a man is looking for children, we are not and will never be compatible. I can't imagine hiding something as significant as that. Same goes for someone being a different sex than I think they are.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Feb 4, 2016 13:43:53 GMT -5
I am telling you, greg... We didn't even know what fun is until now, right? I can say I've learned a LOT from this thread! Too bad you can't use it anywhere. Or
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 4, 2016 13:45:12 GMT -5
I can say I've learned a LOT from this thread! Too bad you can't use it anywhere. Or Yeah....I'm keeping this under my hat.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Feb 4, 2016 13:49:22 GMT -5
This is going to be too much info BUT just for shizz and giggles. -- It really is no concern what's in someones pants... MAYBE even if you are being sexual with them I mean I found ways to be with my ex without her ever knowing I was trans ... i eventually told her though. she just thought I was exceptionally good in bed and could withhold for a VERY long time compared to her other partners -snickers- I very much disagree with this. I honestly don't care what anyone does or calls themselves unless it involves me personally. I am straight. I like men...I like men that are genetic men (I have no idea how to express myself and am really not trying to be offensive). I "think" I can tell when a man used to be a woman but perhaps I'm confusing the butch lesbian with someone who had the surgery?
But whatever, I would be so f'n pissed off if I dated a genetic female without knowing it. And that goes for someone that has had surgery or identifies as a different sex that what they were born with. If we are friends you owe me nothing. But if we are dating you damn well better be upfront about that. I am NOT ok with dating someone that used to be a female.
I can no longer have children. I am very upfront with men before we start dating because if a man is looking for children, we are not and will never be compatible. I can't imagine hiding something as significant as that. Same goes for someone being a different sex than I think they are.
100% with you. However I don't have any idea if I really like really loved him. Impossible to tell.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 4, 2016 13:52:45 GMT -5
I very much disagree with this. I honestly don't care what anyone does or calls themselves unless it involves me personally. I am straight. I like men...I like men that are genetic men (I have no idea how to express myself and am really not trying to be offensive). I "think" I can tell when a man used to be a woman but perhaps I'm confusing the butch lesbian with someone who had the surgery?
But whatever, I would be so f'n pissed off if I dated a genetic female without knowing it. And that goes for someone that has had surgery or identifies as a different sex that what they were born with. If we are friends you owe me nothing. But if we are dating you damn well better be upfront about that. I am NOT ok with dating someone that used to be a female.
I can no longer have children. I am very upfront with men before we start dating because if a man is looking for children, we are not and will never be compatible. I can't imagine hiding something as significant as that. Same goes for someone being a different sex than I think they are.
100% with you. However I don't have any idea if I really like really loved him. Impossible to tell. One will never know unless they are in that position. My gut tells me that if I truly loved someone I probably still couldn't get past this (it would be a man transitioning to a woman). But if someone tricked me into dating what I thought was a man only to later find out he was genetically a woman I would never forgive the betrayal.
I am a firm believer in trust and honesty.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 4, 2016 13:54:26 GMT -5
I just think that if you can't be honest with each other about that, or possible std's, or possible pregnancies or pregnancies that are never possible, then you probably shouldn't be having sex. Call me old fashioned...
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 4, 2016 14:01:20 GMT -5
I just think that if you can't be honest with each other about that, or possible std's, or possible pregnancies or pregnancies that are never possible, then you probably shouldn't be having sex. Call me old fashioned... I agree completely. I don't think you should tell everyone out there about very private matters but someone you are dating deserves to know.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:25:13 GMT -5
If a man that has had bottom surgery, has had chest surgery, has been on t for years lives his life as appearing as a cismale it is his damn right. If he wants nobody to know because he hates the label and other then being able to have children he is male and not all males can have children. If he doesnt want to tell a girl hes trans thats his choice. He looks like a cismale and had a functioning penis...he is a male..trans or not. He was born with a vagina but never a woman just in a feminine body that isnt anybodies business.
Its his choice. And saying youd be mad if he finally told you after dating him is rediculous. You should be privilaged and happy he came out. It was hard for him. He didnt have to. Him being born with a vagina doesnt make him less of a male. If you dated him clearly you had no clue so saying youll only date guys with "real dicks" is redic when theres a chance youd never had known if someone was trans.
You dont even want kids so thatd legit be no issue. You just want a cismale because you are being judgemental of trans because in your head your still viewing them as less of a man which theyre NOT
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:29:43 GMT -5
Stds is so different you could potentially make someone really sick. The baby thing? Thats sonething someone would discuss after being in a relationship for awhile.
Not everyone waits to have sex with someone theyre waiting to have a family for. Im not into hook ups but those that are arent going to tell every sexual person theyre with that theyre trans. And as far as relationships not every relationship waits to have sex after they talk about kids.
Ithe girl i was with knew i couldnt Have kids but didnt know i was trans. Now i tell girls im trans and thats my choice but in no way am i obligated if i want to be known as a cismale and not be judged thats MY right
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:32:57 GMT -5
Were not passing around aids. Were not destroying someones life. If that bothers them if they found their man attractive and loved them and saw them as the man they are until they said theyre trans thats their problem. Theyre the closed minded one.
I understand if a person is with a girl that transitions to a guy would get upset because their body would change completly. But being with someone fully transitioned and then being upset because you find out they werent always that way is awful. Theyre not changing themselves and theyre still male and the same person you were with
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:34:51 GMT -5
Furthermore...tricking you into dating them! Seriously!
He is all male from his chest to his dick to his heart and to his mind.
Unless you want kids thatd be the only issue but theres ways to have kids without needing his sperm furthermore males born with a dick cant always have kids either
Also being straight and liking a trans person doesnt make you a lesbian it still makes you straight
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 4, 2016 14:42:00 GMT -5
MJ2.0 I will PM you with information on what I use and then some other things that are used and explain it better. =P Anybody that is ever curious about anything don't be afraid to ask. I may not answer here in public because some things just feel weird to put out there right in public but i'll answer anything in private. =P BUT. I'll answer later today I'm running late for school and work >.> OOPS Out-damn-standing, m'man! Discretion is always the better part of valor. Thanks for recognizing what's right for public fodder and what isn't. KUDOS!
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:46:00 GMT -5
MJ2.0 I will PM you with information on what I use and then some other things that are used and explain it better. =P Anybody that is ever curious about anything don't be afraid to ask. I may not answer here in public because some things just feel weird to put out there right in public but i'll answer anything in private. =P BUT. I'll answer later today I'm running late for school and work >.> OOPS Out-damn-standing, m'man! Discretion is always the better part of valor. Thanks for recognizing what's right for public fodder and what isn't. KUDOS! Im trying not to say too much details but sometimes i slip lol
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 4, 2016 14:50:16 GMT -5
Out-damn-standing, m'man! Discretion is always the better part of valor. Thanks for recognizing what's right for public fodder and what isn't. KUDOS! Im trying not to say too much details but sometimes i slip lol You're doing great, Kolt. This is a difficult subject to navigate because of widespread public misunderstanding and, in some cases, rejection. As we're learning here, however, there is curiosity and many of those who don't really know a lot about it want to learn more. That's encouraging as I see it.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 14:52:51 GMT -5
Ive actually been getting a lot of messages! Im not ignoring people im just at work! And ill reply wheni get home. As i said ill answer anything it does make me happy people are asking and trying to learn!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 4, 2016 15:01:14 GMT -5
Furthermore...tricking you into dating them! Seriously! He is all male from his chest to his dick to his heart and to his mind. Unless you want kids thatd be the only issue but theres ways to have kids without needing his sperm furthermore males born with a dick cant always have kids either Also being straight and liking a trans person doesnt make you a lesbian it still makes you straight I'm about as open minded as they come and I completely disagree. I am all about honesty in a relationship. I have no problem with straight, gay, and anywhere in between. Trans doesn't bother me, nor does the color of people's skin. I make friends with anyone. But if I'm in a relationship with someone who's not completely honest about everything, I don't have a relationship with that person. What I have no tolerance for is dishonesty.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 4, 2016 15:01:29 GMT -5
Stds is so different you could potentially make someone really sick. The baby thing? Thats sonething someone would discuss after being in a relationship for awhile. Not everyone waits to have sex with someone theyre waiting to have a family for. Im not into hook ups but those that are arent going to tell every sexual person theyre with that theyre trans. And as far as relationships not every relationship waits to have sex after they talk about kids. Ithe girl i was with knew i couldnt Have kids but didnt know i was trans. Now i tell girls im trans and thats my choice but in no way am i obligated if i want to be known as a cismale and not be judged thats MY right The point was, that sex is extremely intimate and should be done with someone you know, trust and respect enough to be able to talk about these difficult subjects with. If you can't or won't, then one or more of those 3 are missing.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 15:36:57 GMT -5
Not every trans guy wants to be known as trans. They dont want to mention it and they shouldnt have to if they dont want to. Also sex sadly isnt as intimate as it once was...most people in my generation now look at sex as just fun...
I personally hate that but thats how it is now. But i do not think my friend that doesnt tell people he is trans even if he has sex with them is in the wrong..its there choice. Does everyone always tell their partners they were born with a penis? No. Its just assumed. If a person wants to forever put there being born with a vagina behind them its their right
Sex now a days comes before people even get emotionally imvolved..with the first few months of dating someone..it comes before marriage talk, before the baby talk...not for everyone but people in ny age group...this is how it is now
As for me personally? I tell everyone of my friends right away but i dont have to. Its not something a trans person should have to introduce themselves with. And someday when i want to teach and move ill want to hide it and i probably will
Not from a loved one but thats my choice and id have to really trusr her not to break to others im trans and thats hard to trust. And it takes years to build that trust but sex doesnt happen after years of dating. I dont know what ill do in the future as far as girls go if i move. My heart belongs to someone that already knows though and if were able to make it work..personally i wont have the problem other trans do
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 15:45:14 GMT -5
Furthermore...tricking you into dating them! Seriously! He is all male from his chest to his dick to his heart and to his mind. Unless you want kids thatd be the only issue but theres ways to have kids without needing his sperm furthermore males born with a dick cant always have kids either Also being straight and liking a trans person doesnt make you a lesbian it still makes you straight I'm about as open minded as they come and I completely disagree. I am all about honesty in a relationship. I have no problem with straight, gay, and anywhere in between. Trans doesn't bother me, nor does the color of people's skin. I make friends with anyone. But if I'm in a relationship with someone who's not completely honest about everything, I don't have a relationship with that person. What I have no tolerance for is dishonesty. Its not dishonesty..hes a male. Unless asked and then lying is it dishonesty.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 4, 2016 15:51:03 GMT -5
I'm about as open minded as they come and I completely disagree. I am all about honesty in a relationship. I have no problem with straight, gay, and anywhere in between. Trans doesn't bother me, nor does the color of people's skin. I make friends with anyone. But if I'm in a relationship with someone who's not completely honest about everything, I don't have a relationship with that person. What I have no tolerance for is dishonesty. Its not dishonesty..hes a male. Unless asked and then lying is it dishonesty. A lie by omission is still a lie. Why not be completely up front. When talking about dating when a guy says "Tell me about you" they get facts about me. I'm from KC, born and raised. I have two kids and don't want more... You get the idea. Leaving something like that out is completely dishonest. That needs to be disclosed pretty early on. Way before sex is involved.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Feb 4, 2016 15:55:05 GMT -5
I'm about as open minded as they come and I completely disagree. I am all about honesty in a relationship. I have no problem with straight, gay, and anywhere in between. Trans doesn't bother me, nor does the color of people's skin. I make friends with anyone. But if I'm in a relationship with someone who's not completely honest about everything, I don't have a relationship with that person. What I have no tolerance for is dishonesty. Its not dishonesty..hes a male. Unless asked and then lying is it dishonesty. I think there should be a whole science to determine if you are born female who transed into male - ARE you a male? IDK Should we all start dating asking all these questions and THEN decide?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 4, 2016 15:55:45 GMT -5
Its not dishonesty..hes a male. Unless asked and then lying is it dishonesty. A lie by omission is still a lie. Why not be completely up front. When talking about dating when a guy says "Tell me about you" they get facts about me. I'm from KC, born and raised. I have two kids and don't want more... You get the idea. Leaving something like that out is completely dishonest. That needs to be disclosed pretty early on. Way before sex is involved. Why? Not being funny, being serious. If you think they're male, and they know they are and have had all the work done, then what's the difference?
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 15:57:43 GMT -5
A lie by omission is still a lie. Why not be completely up front. When talking about dating when a guy says "Tell me about you" they get facts about me. I'm from KC, born and raised. I have two kids and don't want more... You get the idea. Leaving something like that out is completely dishonest. That needs to be disclosed pretty early on. Way before sex is involved. Why? Not being funny, being serious. If you think they're male, and they know they are and have had all the work done, then what's the difference? Thank you. A trans person has always been male. They are male. Theres nothing to say for some of them. Theyre male. They dont have to add a trans label if they dont want. They were male and always have been its as simple as that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 4, 2016 16:00:21 GMT -5
This is still going on? Sheesh.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 4, 2016 16:01:17 GMT -5
I can see it making meeting the family awkward but I'd assume the conversation would have been had before you'd get to meet people that would tell you how much Victor hated having to wear dresses and hair bows when he was a kid.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Feb 4, 2016 16:01:54 GMT -5
This is still going on? Sheesh. Why do you care? Don't open the thread/scroll on past. It's easy.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 16:02:53 GMT -5
Most people i know at my age do not say if they want kids in the first date or start talking about all their health issues or mental issues or surgery.. Agh sometimes i feel like people older then my genertion just dont know the difference of the way reletionships are now. Some do though and some also dont care which is good.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 16:03:41 GMT -5
I can see it making meeting the family awkward but I'd assume the conversation would have been had before you'd get to meet people that would tell you how much Victor hated having to wear dresses and hair bows when he was a kid. Lol this!!
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 16:06:59 GMT -5
Personally people from 18-26 i havent had any issues with the trans thing...ive ran into all accepting people...
Im grateful that here where the age range has varied ive still found accepting and understanding people which is great. But of course theres still some people that just dont fully understand which i get because it can be confusing. Its hard to understand something your not around often or never experinced. Nobody undestands how much trans people go through or their thoughts.
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