andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 4, 2016 20:10:37 GMT -5
Why? Because they have a preference? I refuse to date men with children. Does that make me an asshole? I don't think so. If others do, that's ok. I'm still not going to do it. What about guys that like fat girls? What about people that date significantly older or younger? People have preferences. Just because you don't agree with them doesn't make them wrong. Just like them disagreeing with you doesn't make you wrong. I haven't dated a black guy since my first boyfriend. I'm sure that makes me look like some sort of Uncle Tom traitor or something, but I can't change who I'm attracted to. Being black isn't a dealbreaker, but apparently I have a looks type that they don't fit. I like what I like and I shouldn't have to defend it. Then I'm right there with you. I don't date Mexican men and I'm Mexican. I avoid them like the plague actually. I'm partial to black guys. And I like them older than me. Even though Old Dude was white and way older. To each his own.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 20:13:55 GMT -5
Trans people kill themselves every day a lot for rejection even without any sexual acts.
And I still stand by what I said about not every trans person has to tell every single person they're with if they're transgender they risk having their whole lives ruined. Many trans people kill themselves because of a society that doesn't support them and rejection and humiliation.
They're bullied. They're made to feel less then. If a transman is not telling a girl it isn't because he just wants sex...that's so far from the truth. There is so much at risk. So much.
And that man that killed himself? I'm sure there was a lot more going on his head then just getting a blowjob from a man. A person that can kill themselves is mentally ill and it's never because of one act unless everyone in his entire life started making fun of him for it and he became rejected.
Furthermore, it was really his own fault. Him putting his penis into a hole...really? This is a really bad example of trying to prove a point. That was clearly sex driven. He wanted his penis sucked. For pleasure. You shouldn't just go sticking you dick in some hole and hoping a girl is sucking it.
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quince
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Post by quince on Feb 4, 2016 20:16:35 GMT -5
Buck Angel is definitely a no go for me- he's had top surgery only. Above the belt fooling around only. #2 & #4 are a bit soft edged for my taste. I've had comments made to me because my husband is white. I'm Asian. I dated a (not very nice) Asian guy for a decade, but apparently marrying and reproducing with a white dude is something to comment on. Amusingly, generally said by black friends, not Asian friends or family. People are complicated.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Feb 4, 2016 20:19:53 GMT -5
I thought Asian woman/white man pairings were pretty commonplace nowadays....
And it doesn't surprise me at all that black people were the ones commenting on it.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 4, 2016 20:22:07 GMT -5
I find Asian women attractive.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 20:23:21 GMT -5
Buck Angel is definitely a no go for me- he's had top surgery only. Above the belt fooling around only. #2 & #4 are a bit soft edged for my taste. I've had comments made to me because my husband is white. I'm Asian. I dated a (not very nice) Asian guy for a decade, but apparently marrying and reproducing with a white dude is something to comment on. Amusingly, generally said by black friends, not Asian friends or family. People are complicated. I DIDNT mean are they attractive. I just meant on the streets can they pass. ha ha ha. I wasn't looking for attractive men and I actually don't know what's in their pants..but if they had surgery they'd still be able to pass I'm sure. =P Actually I know what's in the pants of 4 of the 7 >> Ive said a lot I totally understand how a girl couldn't handle being with a transman with a vagina. -- I actually generally am not sexually attracted to anyone until I have an emotionally attraction/connection. It's strange. It's why I'm screwed sometimes in moving on. Because once I'm emotionally attached...and if I get as far as being sexually attracted..it's too hard to move on to a new person...and take my mind off the person I had the emotional connection with.
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quince
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Post by quince on Feb 4, 2016 20:30:42 GMT -5
I get not being sexually attracted without emotional connection. I actually thought I might be aesexual until I met my husband. I'm all for casual sex, you know, in theory.
To be honest, even if you think you can tell what biological sex someone is, you can't actually tell. That Asian boyfriend? People at work gossiped that I was a lesbian because they thought he was female. If his hair got a bit long he'd be called ma'am at businesses. I've had friends who are cis women who looked a wee bit masculine without trying to just because of facial or body structure, and there's always PCOS to add the possibility of beards (and more body/face changes) to muddy the waters.
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copperboxes
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Post by copperboxes on Feb 4, 2016 20:42:03 GMT -5
Why? Because they have a preference? I refuse to date men with children. Does that make me an asshole? I don't think so. If others do, that's ok. I'm still not going to do it. What about guys that like fat girls? What about people that date significantly older or younger? People have preferences. Just because you don't agree with them doesn't make them wrong. Just like them disagreeing with you doesn't make you wrong. I haven't dated a black guy since my first boyfriend. I'm sure that makes me look like some sort of Uncle Tom traitor or something, but I can't change who I'm attracted to. Being black isn't a dealbreaker, but apparently I have a looks type that they don't fit. I like what I like and I shouldn't have to defend it. Everybody's got preferences. I'm not a fan of skinny guys. Fat, muscular, normal, tall or far shorter than me is fine, but skinny just doesn't do it for me in general. I just wonder if you freak out entirely if you found a guy you were liked and was dating was part black without you realizing it. If you'd feel totally betrayed, and instantly end the relationship with him even if it never came up before, because he looked white, felt white, put white on a profile, your preference wasn't said or asked. Honestly, mostly I just don't like putting populations of people in boxes though. There's a huge variations in populations, I've really sighed that I already taken sometimes because all sorts of people can be real sweethearts. Even in extreme places, when DH was in Saudi, he got laughingly told by Saudi nationals that he was a better Muslim than they were because he doesn't drink or gamble. He got told the exact same thing about being Christian by devout Christian coworkers in TX. There are Tea Party people in the Bay Area of CA, DH's dad is one, though DH is a moderate. People aren't all the same from groups, so it's weird to me to have zero exceptions for entire populations and for words like betrayal to be used for something that was just assumed. STDs are my hot button. So I didn't assume with them. Most everything else is negotiable or depends on the blend and personality. Like I said, just my stance based on my personality and observations. ETA: Got too rushed, sorry about that. I see that you put that someone being black isn't a deal breaker for you. We have met people from various areas who have seriously startled us with their statements though, so absolute and restrictive. Finding out that someone they like isn't exactly what they assumed would definitely be a major problem for them. That sort of philosophy is something I have a hard time understanding.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Feb 4, 2016 20:47:34 GMT -5
Somehow this seems appropriate about now.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Feb 4, 2016 20:47:47 GMT -5
I think that I would know if I met the fourth guy.
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Cookies Galore
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I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Feb 4, 2016 21:20:01 GMT -5
Fourth guy almost resembles hubs, though my honey is a smidge skinnier. But the whole thin build, gangly arms thing is all him!
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Feb 4, 2016 21:40:08 GMT -5
So which one of those is you? I didn't say one was me!? BUT MAYBE ONE IS BUT MAYBE NOT that's not a secret i'll ever tell. xoxo - gossip girl boy
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Feb 5, 2016 11:43:46 GMT -5
Overall, I think this has been a really good thread, and I appreciate the help I was given on my issue, and the willingness of many people here to share, and others to learn and ask questions.
However, over the last couple of days, the thread keeps taking turns that I don't feel are productive, helpful, or, in some cases, even healthy for the people involved. Even though at this post, we seem to be somewhat more on an even keel, I have asked the mods to go ahead and close this thread down.
Thank you again to everyone who participated - whether you agree with me on these issues or not.
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