Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 30, 2015 19:59:22 GMT -5
I just don't understand how you think MJ is 'teaching him to treat her' in the situation described. Every new relationship starts out that way. We teach people how they are allowed to treat us, in general.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:00:58 GMT -5
I just don't understand how you think MJ is 'teaching him to treat her' in the situation described. Every new relationship starts out that way. We teach people how they are allowed to treat us, in general. And what is she teaching him by texting Happy New Year?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:02:19 GMT -5
If I'd already initiated the only contact so far, I wouldn't text him HNY at all, unless it was in response to a text from him. He already. knows I'm interested because I texted him soon after we met, now he gets to show me if he's interested. MJ was that you that said before that you tend to pursue men? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else. Eh, I go back and forth but I have definitely made the first move on several occasions.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:06:51 GMT -5
I haven't really had much luck sitting around waiting for guys. As a kid I wasn't one of those girls who had guys lining up to date her, and not much has changed there. I basically work and go home so unless I want to try and date someone at work, a dateable man just falling into my lap isn't happening.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:08:50 GMT -5
Every new relationship starts out that way. We teach people how they are allowed to treat us, in general. And what is she teaching him by texting Happy New Year? That she is willing to put out all the effort and he can just coast. She has nothing better going on NYE than figuring out the time change to send a meaningful HNY message to a guy she's talked to twice. That's the first thing I think of. And I think I'm accurate. She really needs to make better plans for her own NYE.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:11:42 GMT -5
Wow, this conversation is bumming me out.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:16:16 GMT -5
Yes later, I am a desperate loser. Happy now?
Smh...,
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:19:38 GMT -5
Yes later, I am a desperate loser. Happy now? Smh..., If you are you shouldn't be. Just be patient. Text him after you know he's back if he hasn't text you yet. But you know he is off the continent. Be patient.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:20:02 GMT -5
And make plan for NYE!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:20:13 GMT -5
So if she takes the 3 seconds to google time diff France, she's a loser with nothing better to do? (I don't need to google I guesstimate on personal knowledge, but no one could do that...) Can't take a second out of a party to text someone? Texting must be done from your home surrounded by your cats...
Seriously. It's the 'don't play games' crew that seem to be asking for the most plotting and manipulation here.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:22:26 GMT -5
So if she takes the 3 seconds to google time diff France, she's a loser with nothing better to do? (I don't need to google I guesstimate on personal knowledge, but no one could do that...) Can't take a second out of a party to text someone? Texting must be done from your home surrounded by your cats... Seriously. It's the 'don't play games' crew that seem to be asking for the most plotting and manipulation here. It's not plotting and manipulation. It's accepting the messages you are getting. She has initiated contact a few times already. If she wants to know if he is interested she has to give him a chance to respond.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:27:54 GMT -5
I don't have many friends here bc my ex made sure I had no one here but him and his family so not a lot to choose from. I'm not going out alone bc people are crazy and I'm not driving. Might text a girl I've done Meetup with to see what she's doing but other than that I got nothing.
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 30, 2015 20:33:21 GMT -5
And what is she teaching him by texting Happy New Year? That she is willing to put out all the effort and he can just coast. She has nothing better going on NYE than figuring out the time change to send a meaningful HNY message to a guy she's talked to twice. That's the first thing I think of. And I think I'm accurate. She really needs to make better plans for her own NYE. Taking two seconds to send a text message is not putting out "all the effort." Hell, there have been many times I looked at the clock and thought "Oh, so and so is doing this now, let me send them a text." Sending a text does not equal no plans that night. How does a simple text imply nothing better to do that night?! Hell, my dinner reservations NYE aren't until 8. I guess I should ignore everyone I know that day until I leave the house!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:36:22 GMT -5
That she is willing to put out all the effort and he can just coast. She has nothing better going on NYE than figuring out the time change to send a meaningful HNY message to a guy she's talked to twice. That's the first thing I think of. And I think I'm accurate. She really needs to make better plans for her own NYE. Taking two seconds to send a text message is not putting out "all the effort." Hell, there have been many times I looked at the clock and thought "Oh, so and so is doing this now, let me send them a text." Sending a text does not equal no plans that night. How does a simple text imply nothing better to do that night?! Hell, my dinner reservations NYE aren't until 8. I guess I should ignore everyone I know that day until I leave the house! Initiating contact every time they have had contact is putting out all the effort. Tell me, how many people are you texting NYE that you have talked to twice in 3 months?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:37:15 GMT -5
It's game playing because it's calculating and not authentic. If I want to wish someone a freaking happy new year I will. Because that's what I want to do. No message other than that. No expectations. To examine it from every angle and read more into it than that is where game play comes in...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:37:58 GMT -5
I don't have many friends here bc my ex made sure I had no one here but him and his family so not a lot to choose from. I'm not going out alone bc people are crazy and I'm not driving. Might text a girl I've done Meetup with to see what she's doing but other than that I got nothing. Check in with the meet up girl. Be straight up with her, if she's gone to the Meetups she would be empathetic.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:39:33 GMT -5
It's game playing because it's calculating and not authentic. If I want to wish someone a freaking happy new year I will. Because that's what I want to do. No message other than that. No expectations. To examine it from every angle and read more into it than that is where game play comes in... But she does have expectations and there is more to it than that.
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 30, 2015 20:39:38 GMT -5
no, there is no update. Meh. I'll probably text him HNY tomorrow France time. This is all MJ said. Some people are reading way too much into "meh. I'll probably text him." He texted her before he left to thank her for the Tastykakes suggestion and he's been visiting with family. A "I'll probably send a text" comment isn't as big a deal as some people are making it. Christ, the dude I was just banging (no feelings) would email me while I was in Paris a bunch of years ago. Jenny, stop thinking out loud here. :-)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:40:08 GMT -5
Why would her going to meetups make her empathetic?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:40:41 GMT -5
Yup, I planned and pre-typed it and am waiting for the perfect time to send it. Just like I pre-typed ALL my HNY messages.... Except I didn't so not really planning it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:41:12 GMT -5
Why would her going to meetups make her empathetic? Not knowing people and looking for ways to meet them...
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 30, 2015 20:43:14 GMT -5
no, there is no update. Meh. I'll probably text him HNY tomorrow France time. This is all MJ said. Some people are reading way too much into "meh. I'll probably text him." He texted her before he left to thank her for the Tastykakes suggestion and he's been visiting with family. A "I'll probably send a text" comment isn't as big a deal as some people are making it. Christ, the dude I was just banging (no feelings) would email me while I was in Paris a bunch of years ago. Jenny, stop thinking out loud here. :-) Lmao! I think it's time for me to stop coming back to this thread bc some people are really going the extra mile where it's not needed.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 30, 2015 20:43:45 GMT -5
Taking two seconds to send a text message is not putting out "all the effort." Hell, there have been many times I looked at the clock and thought "Oh, so and so is doing this now, let me send them a text." Sending a text does not equal no plans that night. How does a simple text imply nothing better to do that night?! Hell, my dinner reservations NYE aren't until 8. I guess I should ignore everyone I know that day until I leave the house! Initiating contact every time they have had contact is putting out all the effort. Tell me, how many people are you texting NYE that you have talked to twice in 3 months? If I'm interested in banging at some point? Hell yeah I'd text! Cookie's got needs. Er, had needs. I have a husband to take care of all that now. ETA: Now that I think a little, I remember using a happy new year text to start up again with dudes I haven't seen in a while. Drunk texts at 12:30 are magical. But this isn't even remotely what Jenny is doing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:44:16 GMT -5
Why would her going to meetups make her empathetic? Not knowing people and looking for ways to meet them... That isn't necessarily what meetup is about. It could be, but it's not assumed. I'm not saying she wouldn't be empathetic, I just, well basically I guess I was wondering if you knew what meetup was?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:45:36 GMT -5
I'll actually be texting a few people I haven't talked to in person much lately. I communicate a lot by text.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:46:32 GMT -5
Not knowing people and looking for ways to meet them... That isn't necessarily what meetup is about. It could be, but it's not assumed. I'm not saying she wouldn't be empathetic, I just, well basically I guess I was wondering if you knew what meetup was? Organized events for people to meet other people of similar interests.
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Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 30, 2015 20:48:20 GMT -5
Yes later, I am a desperate loser. Happy now? Smh..., You aren't a loser, and we all know it here. Unfortunately, sometimes people can get the wrong impression from the most mundane seeming things. Maybe you're right though, if he does, he probably wasn't worth your time anyway.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:51:57 GMT -5
To 'meet up' with people of similar interests. How new or well known people are to each other will depend on the group. And similar interests means it might or might not lead into something for New Years. I'm in a lot of homeschool groups. If anyone asked me since they were new to the area i'd invite them over, but just because we homeschool doesn't necessarily mean I am doing New Year's Eve things with that group. Ie probably no nye hike planned for the hiking group, etc.
I'm not saying don't ask.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2015 20:57:21 GMT -5
She mentioned that girl as an option so I made a couple of assumptions based on that.
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honeysalt
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Post by honeysalt on Dec 30, 2015 21:07:02 GMT -5
It is just a text. This is just a guy MJ met at a Meetup. She gets it's all casual for now. Those catastrophizing the symbolism of perceived imbalanced text messaging are likely projecting their own dating experiences onto this situation. Part of being an romantically and sexually experienced adult is putting yourself out there. Sometimes, when you put your self out there, you get to have a great interaction with another experienced adult, sometimes you get burned.
Either way, I get the sense that MJ is seeking out experiences (not necessarily sexual), and I commend her for that.
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