How can I tell if a guy likes me?

[Chocolate Lover]

You missed the save the dots campaign didn't you Bobby?

[Robert not Bobby]

There was a save the dots campaign...and no one invited me to the party. I'm crestfallen; I would have been the Leader of the Parade.

Have a good evening ladies.

[tloonya]

Dec 30, 2015 15:48:59 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

There was a save the dots campaign...and no one invited me to the party. I'm crestfallen; I would have been the Leader of the Parade.

Have a good evening ladies.

I think it happened before you were able to type.

And NO you wouldn't be the leader because we were saving dots, not
using them freely like there is no limit on dots in the world!

[ken a.k.a OMK]

....................   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That's all I have to say about this.

[Deleted]

I can't believe the issue with HNY? ... Not sure why that idea caused a backlash...

[tloonya]

Dec 30, 2015 16:30:25 GMT -5 oped said:

I can't believe the issue with HNY? ... Not sure why that idea caused a backlash...

We don't want a resident of YM to seem DESPERATE!
Why not him first HNY to her

[Deleted]

Interesting. I'm not terribly young, but maybe this is a 'generational' thing... Younger people especially these days text everyone everything. I'll HNY a whole lot of people... with just as much meaning as if we were in the same room at midnight, that is, I'm wishing them a happy new year... I didn't realize that act was signaling desperation... 

[Cookies Galore]

Dec 30, 2015 14:56:15 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

A single guy in France for NYE...you guys have only met once shortly before he left...chances are he has a date.

And? His imaginary date doesn't have to know she texted him happy new year.

MJ, I don't see the big deal about texting him happy new year in France.

[MJ2.0]

Thank you oped & Cookies Galore - people in here had me questioning my sanity for a minute!

[taz157]

Dec 30, 2015 18:32:54 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Thank you oped & Cookies Galore - people in here had me questioning my sanity for a minute!

I agree with open and cookies too!

[andi9899]

Should we do the NYE drunk thread again this year?

[Lizard Queen]

I'd vote for not, but don't think it would be terrible if you did. I just think it's better to feel your absence, not that you'll be waiting around for him. French guys, though, I'm unfamiliar with. Maybe they're different...maybe not.

[Deleted]

So let us know how it goes.

[Deleted]

if I got a HNY from an aquaintance, I'd assume mass cc email to all contacts before I'd think 'she's saving herself for me'...

just wondering, how many texts do most of you get in a day? Maybe I should start a thread...

[Deleted]

Dec 30, 2015 19:00:10 GMT -5 oped said:

if I got a HNY from an aquaintance, I'd assume mass email to all contacts before I'd think 'she's saving herself for me'...

just wondering, how many texts do most of you get in a day? Maybe I should start a thread...

Not if it was timed for midnight in France, where I happened to be. The times I do get the mass text message for something like that it bugs me.

[Lizard Queen]

Dec 30, 2015 19:00:10 GMT -5 oped said:

if I got a HNY from an aquaintance, I'd assume mass email to all contacts before I'd think 'she's saving herself for me'...

just wondering, how many texts do most of you get in a day? Maybe I should start a thread...

Yeah, timed for France is not part of a mass text, but specially timed and planned. US time HNY might wake him up early after a late night. I vote for a HNY text casually later in the day.

[Deleted]

I meant cc email, i.e. Cut and paste to everyone. 

[Deleted]

You pu a lot of plotting into a three letter text. 

[Lizard Queen]

Dec 30, 2015 19:07:20 GMT -5 oped said:

You pu a lot of plotting into a three letter text. 

We teach people how to treat us through our words and actions. We teach people that we'll wait around for them, they'll tend to leave us waiting more.

[Deleted]

Seriously? You text someone HNY and you are telling them you are saving yourself for them? 

Ecorrect email to text.

[Lizard Queen]

Dec 30, 2015 19:11:32 GMT -5 oped said:

Seriously? You email someone HNY and you are telling them you are saving yourself for them? 

I thought it was a text, and timed for France time, then yeah, maybe. It's early, there isn't much information for him to go on. Unspoken information goes along with the words.

[Deleted]

Gomg. I text him around 7 instead of 12... I might as well be living under his porch waiting for him to return. 

Im sorry if I sound smoky but I just can't imagine reading that much into a text like that. MJ I guess I'd do it anyway, simply because if he's the kind of guy who gets that kind of message from that text situation... It's probably better to know upfront anyway. 

[honeysalt]

I dated a lot before getting married.  My approach was very different to my peers, but it worked for me.  If I wanted to have casual sex or a relationship or had feelings for a guy, I just told them, flat out, straight up, every time except one (where I played the game out of curiosity, it was boring and frustrating). 

Even though I had a pretty person job in my early twenties, I got rejected many times.  If you are the aggressor, it is inevitably going to happen.  For me, that was well worth not going through the mind games/questioning.  Also, when single, I usually causally dated a few guys at a time and had other friendships/arrangements.  It takes years to really get to know someone and get serious IMO.  Until you reach that point, it is all just fun, companionship, friendship and sex. 

A lot of women aren't as direct as they want to be because they are afraid of coming across as desperate.  Desperate women turn one night stands into epic romances in their imagination, text a guy 50 times and ask questions like "Do you like me?"  Not that you do/would do this.  You don't come across that way at all.  My point is that looking a guy in the eyes, smiling and saying I am into you, I think we should go out/hook up/date/whatever isn't desperate and it isn't taken that way.  If they are into you, they will respond enthusiastically.  If they aren't, or don't like aggressive women, they will let you know that right away.  Either way, you know. 

However, keep in mind that my hormone levels are not anything like a normal woman's, which certainly impacts my thoughts, feelings and emotional response. 

So, text him if you want and line up some other dates with other guys as well.  I wouldn't text him right at NY in France because that implies a lot of thought, but it isn't direct. 

[MJ2.0]

That's my thought. If he isn't interested/isn't into being pursued I'll know. Sitting around dropping hints waiting for something to happen isn't really my style but I will limit or stop contact if I'm the only one initiating stuff.

[Lizard Queen]

I just want to be clear that I'm not talking about playing games, but showing others how they are allowed to treat you. (Believe me, I'm no one to ask how to play games--I'm clueless and uninterested in that kind of shit.) This is applicable for any type of relationship: work, friends, family, etc.

[MJ2.0]

Dec 30, 2015 19:46:29 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I just want to be clear that I'm not talking about playing games, but showing others how they are allowed to treat you. (Believe me, I'm no one to ask how to play games--I'm clueless and uninterested in that kind of shit.) This is applicable for any type of relationship: work, friends, family, etc.

I get what you're saying and I agree, I just don't know if I'd completely write someone off who I hit it off with right before he left on a 1.5 week long trip home if he didn't text me. Maybe I'm dumb and clueless but that's my thought. If we had gone on an actual date, he said he'd call or text and never did, that would be different.

[Deleted]

I just don't understand how you think MJ is 'teaching him to treat her' in the situation described.

[Deleted]

If I'd already initiated the only contact so far, I wouldn't text him HNY at all, unless it was in response to a text from him. He already. knows I'm interested because I texted him soon after we met, now he gets to show me if he's interested.

MJ was that you that said before that you tend to pursue men? Maybe I have you mixed up with someone else.

[Lizard Queen]

Dec 30, 2015 19:50:57 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Dec 30, 2015 19:46:29 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I just want to be clear that I'm not talking about playing games, but showing others how they are allowed to treat you. (Believe me, I'm no one to ask how to play games--I'm clueless and uninterested in that kind of shit.) This is applicable for any type of relationship: work, friends, family, etc.

I get what you're saying and I agree, I just don't know if I'd completely write someone off who I hit it off with right before he left on a 1.5 week long trip home if he didn't text me. Maybe I'm dumb and clueless but that's my thought. If we had gone on an actual date, he said he'd call or text and never did, that would be different.

Hey, I wouldn't write him off either. International travel is busy, distracting, full of obstacles, etc. I'd just try to avoid giving the wrong impression. I'd totally go for a text later on the first, "Happy New Year, hope your holidays back home are going great", or something like that.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2015 18:11:04 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Dec 21, 2015 17:57:17 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Well, you texted him already, so he knows you're interested. If he's interested, you'll hear from him soon.

He did respond late yesterday. He also thanked me for suggesting butterscotch krimpets to take back to France for Christmas (his family asked him to bring back a good and he was gonna go with Twinkies... Blech!).