GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Nov 12, 2015 15:46:33 GMT -5
Those kids were starving back when I was a kid. Clean your plate cause kids in Africa are starving got me in trouble a few times when I mouthed off about sending the food I didn't like to them. LOL I did the same thing. Even at the age of 5 I didn't get the logic of me eating my peas helping the starving children. My parents were more specific. I was told they were starving in Biafra.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 12, 2015 15:47:51 GMT -5
My dad actually was a starving kid in Africa as a WW2 refugee. One of the handful of times I saw him cry was because I didn't want to eat something for some stupid reason when I was little.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Nov 12, 2015 15:49:16 GMT -5
My dad actually was a starving kid in Africa as a WW2 refugee. One of the handful of times I saw him cry was because I didn't want to eat something for some stupid reason when I was little. I wish I could have sent him my broccoli.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 12, 2015 15:52:01 GMT -5
My dad actually was a starving kid in Africa as a WW2 refugee. One of the handful of times I saw him cry was because I didn't want to eat something for some stupid reason when I was little. I wish I could have sent him my broccoli. Maybe his grandmother. Maybe she wouldn't have died on the journey then.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Nov 12, 2015 15:52:22 GMT -5
I wish I could have sent him my broccoli. Maybe his grandmother. Maybe she wouldn't have died on the journey then. I wish I could have sent Grandma my broccoli.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 15:53:09 GMT -5
Ryan, I'm sure you already gave your parents your opinion. If they are still buying the house, you have your answer. Mind your own business. If they are still waffling about the process, you can offer to go house-hunting with them. If they turn you down, you have your answer. Mind your own business. Easy-peasy. Any other world problems that you guys need solving?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 12, 2015 16:38:59 GMT -5
LOL I did the same thing. Even at the age of 5 I didn't get the logic of me eating my peas helping the starving children. My parents were more specific. I was told they were starving in Biafra. Same here. I didn' know where Biafra was at age 5. I did learn where Johansburg was by age six from some missionaries came to our church to ask for help.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 16:45:08 GMT -5
Don't you know there are starving children in Africa. Those kids were starving back when I was a kid. Clean your plate cause kids in Africa are starving got me in trouble a few times when I mouthed off about sending the food I didn't like to them. I remember telling mom to send them my liver then ... hated it.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 16:51:48 GMT -5
Can you combine your music and rec rooms? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would be that hard. Unfortunately you have no idea how much space a grand piano & upright take up. When friends come over they're both played. Then there's the guitars, horns, saxophones, side chairs. I might have to switch rec room and game room as I have no idea how to fit it all in. Of course I could put the TV in my bedroom but I'd feel weird asking guests to come into my bedroom to watch football or basketball
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 12, 2015 16:54:36 GMT -5
Can you combine your music and rec rooms? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would be that hard. Unfortunately you have no idea how much space a grand piano & upright take up. When friends come over they're both played. Then there's the guitars, horns, saxophones, side chairs. I might have to switch rec room and game room as I have no idea how to fit it all in. Of course I could put the TV in my bedroom but I'd feel weird asking guests to come into my bedroom to watch football or basketball You could put the piano in the bedroom and sleep on it.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 12, 2015 17:06:37 GMT -5
Buying a lot more house than you need increases overall demand for housing stock and raw materials to build such housing stock, causing further pillage of natural resources, as well as natural habitat for plants and animals. Not a total tree-hugger, but I do care about the environment. I think a little bit of mindfulness can go a long way if it is done throughout society. So, can you squeeze your personal gym equipment and wine collection into less than 1500 sf? Can you combine your music and rec rooms? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would be that hard. Sure, it's fun to indulge yourself, but at what cost? Just because the cost is elsewhere and you don't pay the brunt of it does not mean that it is not real. So buying a house that someone else built is a waste? Exactly how so? If there was a deficiency of this sized houses, I could understand this logic but the OP's parent is NOT looking at building a new house but buying one already built. If they don't buy it, how do you know that another couple isn't going to? Or <gasp> a single person?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 12, 2015 17:08:38 GMT -5
I think that this is insulting. You think that his parents are stupid and don't understand maintenance after 30 years in a smaller house! Good parents can make bad decisions. I've seen a few stories here; the ones that come to mind include mothers in their late 50s with $10K in savings who think they can retire. My own dear father, a retired engineer who was the first person to teach me about investing, just got scammed last week for almost $8,000 by someone claiming to be my niece. Sometimes your parents need your back. But this isn't the case. The OP has not mentioned that his parents have financial problem. If he came in and said this, then my answer would be different. But apparently his parents can afford this house, and want this house.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 17:17:46 GMT -5
Getting back to OP, I actually think Ryan is - in his own way - looking out for his parents. Larger homes require more upkeep. Then it disintegrates into a generational split ♤ younger: does the upkeep themselves, still paying mortgage, investment accumulation stage ♡ older: pays gardener / handyman, mortgage free for the most part, investment preservation or spend down stage Could his concern be that they are overestimating their assets? One should never buy more home than they can afford ... if that's the case they should modestly remodel. Today's hot trend is passe tomorrow
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 17:23:29 GMT -5
Ombud he said he has no idea how it would affect their finances.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 12, 2015 17:25:50 GMT -5
Can you combine your music and rec rooms? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would be that hard. Unfortunately you have no idea how much space a grand piano & upright take up. When friends come over they're both played. Then there's the guitars, horns, saxophones, side chairs. I might have to switch rec room and game room as I have no idea how to fit it all in. Of course I could put the TV in my bedroom but I'd feel weird asking guests to come into my bedroom to watch football or basketball Actually, I have a really good idea how much space they take. My HS choir had a gorgeous Steinway grand that was right in front of the choir room. Damn, can I hang out at your place? (Always had a thing for instruments) Do you have a band?
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 17:30:03 GMT -5
Ombud he said he has no idea how it would affect their finances. Then he's operating out of fear of poverty?
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 12, 2015 17:30:58 GMT -5
Buying a lot more house than you need increases overall demand for housing stock and raw materials to build such housing stock, causing further pillage of natural resources, as well as natural habitat for plants and animals. Not a total tree-hugger, but I do care about the environment. I think a little bit of mindfulness can go a long way if it is done throughout society. So, can you squeeze your personal gym equipment and wine collection into less than 1500 sf? Can you combine your music and rec rooms? Call me crazy, but I don't think it would be that hard. Sure, it's fun to indulge yourself, but at what cost? Just because the cost is elsewhere and you don't pay the brunt of it does not mean that it is not real. So buying a house that someone else built is a waste? Exactly how so? If there was a deficiency of this sized houses, I could understand this logic but the OP's parent is NOT looking at building a new house but buying one already built. If they don't buy it, how do you know that another couple isn't going to? Or <gasp> a single person? It pushes up demand for larger houses, and decreases demand for smaller ones, causing builders to think, hmm, I better make sure I build more bigger houses in order to meet demand. Econ 101. There is one thing for sure, if his parents buy it, the chances are 100 per cent that a couple will buy it. If they don't buy it, the chances are lower.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 17:35:30 GMT -5
Lizard Queen, after dad convinced friends to let him sell their samples we got a home. He wanted us to have what he, as an orphan, never had. It just became a family tradition that I picked up after my ex left (he was a jeweler who filled a garage with casting equipment LOL). I'm rock. GS1 is classical. GS2 is jazz. GD2 is the pianist & violinist. Our joint friends are all classical as that's the easiest cross over. Keyboards / amps are going to DD's new home
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 17:40:16 GMT -5
Ombud he said he has no idea how it would affect their finances. Then he's operating out of fear of poverty? I'm going with the idea that he is just a big Grinch that doesn't think they are entitled to some frivolous purchases for their own pleasure. Did you read the story when he shamed his Dad out of getting a massage chair?
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Nov 12, 2015 19:49:44 GMT -5
Then he's operating out of fear of poverty? I'm going with the idea that he is just a big Grinch that doesn't think they are entitled to some frivolous purchases for their own pleasure. Did you read the story when he shamed his Dad out of getting a massage chair? We're you denied a massage chair at some point in your life? It seems like that (made up by the way) story is really hitting you where it counts. It's ok, maybe some day you will get your massage chair!
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Nov 12, 2015 19:53:24 GMT -5
Getting back to OP, I actually think Ryan is - in his own way - looking out for his parents. Larger homes require more upkeep. Then it disintegrates into a generational split ♤ younger: does the upkeep themselves, still paying mortgage, investment accumulation stage ♡ older: pays gardener / handyman, mortgage free for the most part, investment preservation or spend down stage Could his concern be that they are overestimating their assets? One should never buy more home than they can afford ... if that's the case they should modestly remodel. Today's hot trend is passe tomorrow My mom hss chronic back and knee problems and can't keep up with the housework required. That would mean my dad would be doing the bulk of the heavy lifting. For the record, that's the kind of relationship I have with my dad. I brought him along before I made an offer on the house I live in now. He basically makes the same comments to me that I would make to him. I think he wants to move badly and is willing to take on a larger house than he would normally want because my mom likes it and she has been the one dragging her feet. Their stated desires before this house were a ranch with 2000-2590 sf. This is a 2 story house with 4 beds and 4000 sf.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 19:57:28 GMT -5
Going out on a limb, this sounds perfect: Their stated desires before this house were a ranch with 2000-2590 sf. It's out there, maybe built in the 80s but out there
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Nov 12, 2015 20:09:20 GMT -5
So my parents have lived in the same house for close to 40 years. It's around 2000 SF, they raised all of us kids there, and it's not ideally laid out in general...much less a great house to grow old in. They are not ready to go into a townhouse or condo, so they were interested in a ranch home so they can eliminate stairs. They have probably looked at 3 houses and found one that they totally are in love with. The problem is that it's it's close to 4000 SF, 4 bedrooms (master on 1st floor), 3.5 baths, and costs $570K plus $12K/annual property taxes. When I heard this I thought it was totally ridiculous. There was a house on the same street that is $100K less with 2800 SF, 3 beds, 3 baths and is a ranch. This is an area where there is a just a lot of open land so there are builders all over and plenty of houses to choose from; not to mention a lot of existing newish homes to look at as well. What makes things worse is that my siblings are really pushing my parents to buy the house. I said "What are they going to do with all the rooms" and they are like "Well, 1 is for them, 1 is for a guest room, 1 is for a toy room (for grandkids), and 1 can be a spare room. WHAT?!?!? My siblings are fairly thrifty in general, but they tend to encourage each other (particularly my parents) to be overly indulgent in certain areas. As an example, if my dad is looking at a massage chair or something and says “this is cool”, one of my sisters will say “Oh, you should get it.”. If I was with them, all I’d need to say is “Do you think you’d use it?” and he would say “probably not” and walk away. My parents travel a lot and they are in their upper 60’s. I just have this feeling that within a short amount of time they will really question why they moved into such a big house and taken on a fairly large financial burden. Honestly, I have no idea whether they could afford it or not but they probably have a decent amount saved. To add insult to injury, they want to put in a pool. To me, I wonder why you’d pay full retail price for a pool when you can buy a house at a discount that already has a pool put in. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that they haven’t looked at enough houses to really know if it’s the perfect one. You look at 50 houses and decide on this one, then maybe I’ll buy it! Thoughts? Mind my own business? Yeah, mind your own business, not theirs...but I get your concern...two older folks don't need anything more than 1200 sq. ft. on one floor...bungalow.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 20:17:31 GMT -5
Then he's operating out of fear of poverty? I'm going with the idea that he is just a big Grinch that doesn't think they are entitled to some frivolous purchases for their own pleasure. Did you read the story when he shamed his Dad out of getting a massage chair? I thought he asked his dad if he would use it. Valid question. How many of you have bought a treadmill then turned it into an expensive clothes rack?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 20:44:45 GMT -5
I'm going with the idea that he is just a big Grinch that doesn't think they are entitled to some frivolous purchases for their own pleasure. Did you read the story when he shamed his Dad out of getting a massage chair? I thought he asked his dad if he would use it. Valid question. How many of you have bought a treadmill then turned it into an expensive clothes rack? It was the part where he does it all the time that stood out to me when I reread it. And I reread it after he kept insisting his parents need to look at 50 houses before he will be okay with them picking one. But Ryan's presentation is morphing as we speak. As the pages go by, this is the kind of relationship he has with his parents and they do the same thing for him and they are really just begging for him to talk them out of it. There's really nothing to see here.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Nov 12, 2015 21:17:12 GMT -5
I can kind of relate to OP actually. My parents retired, sold their town house and moved to a farm in the boonies. They built a house- 4 bedrooms plus an office for each of them plus another room that doesn't really have a clear purpose. 2 living areas, 1 upstairs kitchen/dining/living room, 1 downstairs TV room/pool table. 4 full bathrooms. Pool and Jacuzzi. Workout space and wine room in the unfinished part of the basement. Next they are tearing down the old barn and building a new one. My mom wants to rescue horses or something and have a goat. I KNOW my parents can afford it, and I still asked them if they were sure it was a good idea because it was so much house. When they said "this is what we want" I dropped it. But they wouldn't let me do something like that without respectfully questioning it, and I wasn't going to not voice my concern in the same way. It's the biggest house for 20 miles, they will never be able to sell the thing but they are happy there. We love going to visit and swimming in the pool or the lake (yes, they built a pool next to their own small lake), taking the kids out walking on the property. The house is full at thanksgiving and Christmas. They are very active and love running the house.
I still don't understand though why they both need an office, but hey...
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 13, 2015 10:03:57 GMT -5
I find environmental impact difficult to gauge because of all the factors involved. Is building a LEED certified house better or worse than buying an existing one? Is a prius or Corolla more earth friendly (mining for rare earth metals isn't a pretty process). Does it matter if someone lives in a small space but eats meat? What if you live in a studio but fly often? The carbon impact of traveling by air is huge. Small farms are better in some senses but use more energy in others ( transport). This topic is on my mind a lot lately because in our area people are getting upset that infill development, which is supposed to be better for the environment, also means cutting down trees on lots and that people have to pay a lot more money for a lot less home. My main concern environment-wise is the effect of building on animals and their habitats. A lot of people claim to love animals, but really only mean domesticated animals, and have no problem plopping a McMansion on critters' homes, getting pissed when deer eat their landscaping. Pretty much any building would be detrimental to animals. Of course, we're not going to stop building completely, but if we care a little, maybe we can ensure that it is not too stressful on wildlife be keeping greenways open so that animals continue to have access to their food and water sources, or focusing on rebuilding where there is urban decay. I don't know why gentrification gets such a bad rap. Without an influx of money, poor areas would just continue to decline until they become virtually uninhabitable. Meanwhile, folks keep building farther and farther out, requiring more and more highways/longer commutes. ETA: There's something a little disingenuous about saying its impossible to gauge the most optimal choices for minimal impact upon the earth, so we should not worry about it. If you try to be mindful and minimize where it has less effect on your own life, then it's probably better than saying, "-F it, there's no way to be perfect so I won't bother trying at all".
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Nov 13, 2015 10:44:09 GMT -5
I thought he asked his dad if he would use it. Valid question. How many of you have bought a treadmill then turned it into an expensive clothes rack? It was the part where he does it all the time that stood out to me when I reread it. And I reread it after he kept insisting his parents need to look at 50 houses before he will be okay with them picking one. But Ryan's presentation is morphing as we speak. As the pages go by, this is the kind of relationship he has with his parents and they do the same thing for him and they are really just begging for him to talk them out of it. There's really nothing to see here. Has it dawned on you that most people don't care enough about your response to give you all the facts you need to evaluate?
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 13, 2015 10:47:13 GMT -5
Lizard Queen, I'm an animal lover too (vegetarian not vegan) which is why I throw the raccoons a 'party' when they come down off the naturalized area to nest under my house -- strobe lights, Metallica under there with them and they go right back up to the back part of my yard or the fields surrounding me
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 13, 2015 10:57:47 GMT -5
Lizard Queen, I'm an animal lover too (vegetarian not vegan) which is why I throw the raccoons a 'party' when they come down off the naturalized area to nest under my house -- strobe lights, Metallica under there with them and they go right back up to the back part of my yard or the fields surrounding me There you go. Anyone who loves Metallica can't be all bad no matter what size house you live in
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