Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,217
|
Post by Ryan on Nov 11, 2015 20:09:41 GMT -5
If you don't look at houses and their cost, then you can't pinpoint what the right house is. What's so difficult to understand about that? Of course you can. I'm sure your parents have been in a lot of houses over the years and know things they like and things they don't like. And you still haven't told me what they love about this house. Did you even bother to ask? Being in houses and actually evaluating the house vs price are different things. Besides, most of my parents friends have houses similar to theirs. They have never looked at the houses available in the area
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,217
|
Post by Ryan on Nov 11, 2015 20:11:52 GMT -5
You haven't given one real reason they shouldn't buy the house. Just that YOU think it is too big for THEM, YOU think it is too much of THEIR money, YOU don't think THEY need it. YOU aren't buying the house, THEY are. You said I didn't give any reasons why they shouldn't and then you listed off a bunch of the reasons why I said they shouldn't buy the house.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2015 20:15:15 GMT -5
You haven't given one real reason they shouldn't buy the house. Just that YOU think it is too big for THEM, YOU think it is too much of THEIR money, YOU don't think THEY need it. YOU aren't buying the house, THEY are. You said I didn't give any reasons why they shouldn't and then you listed off a bunch of the reasons why I said they shouldn't buy the house. Those aren't reasons, those are you being a controlling...person. A reason is something objective, like they can not afford it, the house has some structural problem, they are too old or infirm to take care of it and can't afford help. You are making judgements it is none of your business to be making.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2015 20:16:51 GMT -5
Of course you can. I'm sure your parents have been in a lot of houses over the years and know things they like and things they don't like. And you still haven't told me what they love about this house. Did you even bother to ask? Being in houses and actually evaluating the house vs price are different things. Besides, most of my parents friends have houses similar to theirs. They have never looked at the houses available in the area Can you just confirm for me that you don't know what they love about the house.
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,217
|
Post by Ryan on Nov 11, 2015 20:22:35 GMT -5
Being in houses and actually evaluating the house vs price are different things. Besides, most of my parents friends have houses similar to theirs. They have never looked at the houses available in the area Can you just confirm for me that you don't know what they love about the house. What does anyone like about a house? Why do you ask that question.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2015 20:32:59 GMT -5
Can you just confirm for me that you don't know what they love about the house. What does anyone like about a house? Why do you ask that question. People like all kinds of different things about houses. They could have always wanted a certain kind of kitchen, or yard, or the space for family, or en suite...if you know what it is they love you know if it is something that is easy to find for a better price or if it is something unique they have dreamed of having for 40 years. It's really odd that you are dissing their choice without knowing why they are making that choice.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2015 20:56:10 GMT -5
Maybe it is too big if it was you buying it at their age. When we were buying a home, there was nothing more annoying than family members (who wouldn't be living with us) telling us what they would do and how much we would hate living in an hoa, hate having a house too big, hate taking care of the yard, yada. Listening to this unsolicitated advice and letting it get into our heads really added unnecessary stress.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,866
|
Post by NastyWoman on Nov 11, 2015 21:52:57 GMT -5
I have no opinion on the large house, but I do have a question to all posters on this thread: why is it ok for Ryan 's sibs to tell the parents "go ahead, buy it" but not for Ryan to give a counter opinion? No one has said the sibs should butt out, but most have said Ryan needs to?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2015 21:54:45 GMT -5
The sibs are supporting the parents in what the parents want to do, Ryan isn't. And he has no good reason.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 11, 2015 21:59:16 GMT -5
I'm not a total tree-hugger or anything, but I care about the environment enough to think that 4000 sf for 2 people is fucking wasteful.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,211
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 11, 2015 22:10:38 GMT -5
IMO the parents should have made the decision, bought the house and called and said "here's my new phone number and address."
But then I'm not one who wants imput from people. If I have to ask then it's probaly not the thing to do. And yes, I have made some crazy mistakes over the years, but they were my mistakes and I never had to listen to I told you so. I just look in the mirror and say well that was stupid
I'm an adult and don't need my son's imput or approval.
|
|
tskeeter
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 20, 2011 19:37:45 GMT -5
Posts: 6,831
|
Post by tskeeter on Nov 11, 2015 22:39:43 GMT -5
For many folks, retirement is about indulging ourselves as a reward for decades of hard work. If Mom and Dad can afford and maintain the big house, why not.
However, if the big barn of a house is going to be so much that the kids have to take on the house cleaning, yard maintenance, and structure maintenance, I can understand the kids being concerned.
|
|
weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
Posts: 38,962
|
Post by weltschmerz on Nov 11, 2015 22:40:55 GMT -5
I have no opinion on the large house, but I do have a question to all posters on this thread: why is it ok for Ryan 's sibs to tell the parents "go ahead, buy it" but not for Ryan to give a counter opinion? No one has said the sibs should butt out, but most have said Ryan needs to? Because he asked. "Should I mind my own business?
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,211
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 11, 2015 23:02:09 GMT -5
I'm not a total tree-hugger or anything, but I care about the environment enough to think that 4000 sf for 2 people is fucking wasteful. I'm single and live alone. Does that mean I should have one of those tiny houses and run the risk of asphyxiating myself if I break wind ?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2015 23:10:23 GMT -5
However, if the big barn of a house is going to be so much that the kids have to take on the house cleaning, yard maintenance, and structure maintenance, I can understand the kids being concerned. The parents of a guy I dated in college bought a house with a giant lawn. His parents found it too hard to keep up, even with a riding mower, so my friend drove from Cincinnati to Indianapolis every weekend to mow their darn lawn, then drive back to Cincinnati for his weekend gig as a night auditor at a bank. It was insane and I always thought it was irresponsible of them to buy a property and then expect their son, who had work and study obligations, to maintain it.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 11, 2015 23:14:18 GMT -5
Ryan, dude... If they can afford this - Go pick out your new room when you go to visit! I do find it kind of hilarious that they waited until you all moved out to do this. I guess they didn't want ya'll to mess it up which is why they can now have 4,000 SF. It will stay nice with the brats kids out of the house.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Nov 12, 2015 5:53:00 GMT -5
Am I the only one seeing a generational split here? 60+ stating it's not too big / stay out of it ... 30ish stating their too old to handle it financially or upkeep wise?? LOL
FWIW: strange way to eliminate home issues .... perhaps the empty nest was too emotionally charge so they've decided to trade it in for a new lifestyle?
|
|
lund
Familiar Member
Joined: Jul 22, 2015 7:12:22 GMT -5
Posts: 787
|
Post by lund on Nov 12, 2015 7:52:37 GMT -5
We also don't know if Ryan is the unpaid repair and maintenance guy while the siblings are the style and shopping consultants....
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,211
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 12, 2015 8:18:10 GMT -5
Am I the only one seeing a generational split here? 60+ stating it's not too big / stay out of it ... 30ish stating their too old to handle it financially or upkeep wise?? LOL FWIW: strange way to eliminate home issues .... perhaps the empty nest was too emotionally charge so they've decided to trade it in for a new lifestyle? And when these 30ish become the 60+ their kids will be telling them not to do it. It is the natural order of things
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 8:27:21 GMT -5
I'm 62 and was on the fence. If the parents are overextending themselves and will be looking to their kids for free services or financial contributions when needed, yes, it IS the business of the adult kids. If the parents have the means to buy and maintain it, it's no one else's business.
|
|
steph08
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 13:06:01 GMT -5
Posts: 5,504
|
Post by steph08 on Nov 12, 2015 8:36:27 GMT -5
The sibs are supporting the parents in what the parents want to do, Ryan isn't. And he has no good reason. So everyone should just blindly support what their parents want to do and not point out the consequences (more cleaning, more maintenance, cost if they have to sell soon after buying because of health issues, etc.)? If my parents wanted to buy a bigger house, and I love my parents, I would be first in line to tell them they are freaking batshit crazy.
|
|
973beachbum
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,501
|
Post by 973beachbum on Nov 12, 2015 8:46:29 GMT -5
I can understand wanting a two story. I have lived in a 1000 sq ft 3/1 rancher for literally a million years. We have actually been looking at houses a little bigger. More like 1600 3/2's to 1800 3/2's with a family room but still much roomier feeling, not to mention two potties. My DD has mentioned the irony that we do this as soon as she moved out to go to college. Most of the houses are ranchers but my heart would still love a two story. I love some that have a living room and a den with a door you can close on the first floor along with a bathroom that even if it is a half bath can have a shower stall added to it. My thought is that if the stairs get to be too much I can just turn the den into a bedroom and add the shower and live on the first floor. It would give us the privacy for the bedrooms that most ranchers lack while still giving us the option of living without using those stairs if we wanted. I still wouldn't want a home that was over 2000 sq ft. For a family of 4 or 5 maybe but as my retirement home no way. I have seen too many people as they age do that and except for the ones who were pretty wealthy to begin with they were miserable trying to take care of it, or made others miserable trying to make them take care of it. Either way it was not a good thing.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 8:56:29 GMT -5
We also don't know if Ryan is the unpaid repair and maintenance guy while the siblings are the style and shopping consultants.... I'm going with no since he hasn't mentioned this as a reason.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 8:59:12 GMT -5
The sibs are supporting the parents in what the parents want to do, Ryan isn't. And he has no good reason. So everyone should just blindly support what their parents want to do and not point out the consequences (more cleaning, more maintenance, cost if they have to sell soon after buying because of health issues, etc.)? If my parents wanted to buy a bigger house, and I love my parents, I would be first in line to tell them they are freaking batshit crazy. So you consider your parents too stupid to consider these things themselves and decide if they can handle it.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Nov 12, 2015 9:49:50 GMT -5
I'm not a total tree-hugger or anything, but I care about the environment enough to think that 4000 sf for 2 people is fucking wasteful. I'm single and live alone. Does that mean I should have one of those tiny houses and run the risk of asphyxiating myself if I break wind ? Yeah, because those are the only 2 options--huge or tiny.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,211
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 12, 2015 10:01:45 GMT -5
I'm single and live alone. Does that mean I should have one of those tiny houses and run the risk of asphyxiating myself if I break wind ? Yeah, because those are the only 2 options--huge or tiny. Yep if you are holding to the sq ft a person should have and not be fucking wasteful
|
|
steph08
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 13:06:01 GMT -5
Posts: 5,504
|
Post by steph08 on Nov 12, 2015 10:09:17 GMT -5
So everyone should just blindly support what their parents want to do and not point out the consequences (more cleaning, more maintenance, cost if they have to sell soon after buying because of health issues, etc.)? If my parents wanted to buy a bigger house, and I love my parents, I would be first in line to tell them they are freaking batshit crazy. So you consider your parents too stupid to consider these things themselves and decide if they can handle it. No, I consider my dad a man with big dreams and a small wallet and also the though that he will never get old and unable to do things himself. I consider you incredibly rude (I would say stupid but I don't want banned) for insinuating that because I would voice my opinion to my parents that I don't think them smart or capable of making decisions. I, because my brother lives 2k miles away, would be the one dealing with the aftermath if something were to happen. That is why I encourage my parents to purge the crap they have been keeping for 40 years and downsize. Perhaps Ryan is in the same boat.
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,217
|
Post by Ryan on Nov 12, 2015 10:35:17 GMT -5
So everyone should just blindly support what their parents want to do and not point out the consequences (more cleaning, more maintenance, cost if they have to sell soon after buying because of health issues, etc.)? If my parents wanted to buy a bigger house, and I love my parents, I would be first in line to tell them they are freaking batshit crazy. So you consider your parents too stupid to consider these things themselves and decide if they can handle it. So when you come here looking for opinions on something it means you are too stupid to handle it yourself? They must want my opinion of course. They asked me to come see the house before they buy it.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 12, 2015 10:39:32 GMT -5
If they asked your opinion then I would be honest. I wouldn't be brutal about it but I would probably mention that a lot of this seems to go against their original reasons for selling their current house. I'd be curious what changed.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 4:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 10:43:10 GMT -5
So you consider your parents too stupid to consider these things themselves and decide if they can handle it. So when you come here looking for opinions on something it means you are too stupid to handle it yourself? They must want my opinion of course. They asked me to come see the house before they buy it. Then why did you ask us if you should mind your own business?
|
|