My latest dating sucks thread

[chiver78]

Oct 3, 2015 22:05:54 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

Oct 3, 2015 21:40:29 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

this was pretty much my conversation at the bar last night with the gf of the guitar player in my roommate's band. they are engaged, and I've been single for close to a decade now. I've dated, but really have just been single for awhile now. I lived by myself until I sold the albatross townhouse, too....that probably hasn't helped my "dateability" at all. my roommate now is one of my best friends, we don't have a problem calling each other out on our BS. but the thing that keeps eating at me is that I don't NEED a guy to fulfill my life. I WANT a partner in crime to make my life more fun. I have my own shit under control, and I don't need you to pay my bills or take care of me. I want you around to go out to dinner, to go do things. I will pay my own way, I want to enjoy your company.

is that too much to ask?? 

Yes! 

I seem to find dysfunctional people who want me to "complete them" or just have random sex, or ...  Are there no normal dudes around who like to spend time, have some fun, and be naughty - without being completely weird? So far, notsomuch....  I didn't lose 145 pounds and fix my mental health to deal with someone else's crap.

no, you lost it for your own health and peace of mind. please don't ever let the dating pool "tell" you what you're worth. I haven't commented much on your threads b/c I can't really relate to your experiences, but I definitely needed to say this.

[Deleted]

Thanks. It's hard not to listen to morons, but I realize they are out there.

It's actually nice to be in a strong place mentally and be able to see the BS for the trees.  LOL

The guy I like has a GF, the other guy I met is neat but maybe too old for me and a bit odd in his own way, and tomorrow I am hiking with someone I have never met (in a safe public place, of course) but who I don't think I am going to be compatible with.

While I am enjoying my adult time away from home and with new people, I am not convinced yet there are any "normal" folks around that are worth the effort...

[chiver78]

there are normal people out there, whether they are your "perfect match or not", don't lose faith in that!

[weltschmerz]

Oct 3, 2015 22:42:12 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

there are normal people out there, whether they are your "perfect match or not", don't lose faith in that!

What is normal, anyway? I don't think that any such thing exists, and there's just varying degrees of weirdness. What's "normal" to me may be "oh, hell no!" to you.

For instance, I'd date the guy with 5 cats. Beats dating a dentist who shoots big cats.

[swamp]

Oct 4, 2015 1:17:47 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Oct 3, 2015 22:42:12 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

there are normal people out there, whether they are your "perfect match or not", don't lose faith in that!

What is normal, anyway? I don't think that any such thing exists, and there's just varying degrees of weirdness. What's "normal" to me may be "oh, hell no!" to you.

For instance, I'd date the guy with 5 cats. Beats dating a dentist who shoots big cats.

Id date a guy with 5 cats.  Not a guy who took pictures of them out of his wallet. 

[andi9899]

I wouldn't. But that's just because I don't like cats.

[mojothehelpermonkey]

My SO was showing me pictures on his phone of the cat that he had gotten with his ex (that she had full custody of) on our second date. That was pretty much the only red flag, but I wondered if he wasn't over his ex because he talked about that cat so much. Five years later, it turns out that he was completely over his ex and just really likes cats.

[Miss Tequila]

Oct 5, 2015 7:48:03 GMT -5 @tbird said:

I've hardly even thought of romance in years. Reading all this, I feel quite liberated. I'd rather focus on my matrix algebra assignment than try to find a guy to date. It is so much more rewarding, lol!

You would choose matrix algebra over thai food? What the hell is wrong with you??

[t-dog]

Oct 3, 2015 21:40:29 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Oct 3, 2015 12:58:33 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

Ah, dating...  LOL

My experience to date - people are just weird... Sometimes I think I will just have pets and use a mechanical replacement for dudes.  

this was pretty much my conversation at the bar last night with the gf of the guitar player in my roommate's band. they are engaged, and I've been single for close to a decade now. I've dated, but really have just been single for awhile now. I lived by myself until I sold the albatross townhouse, too....that probably hasn't helped my "dateability" at all. my roommate now is one of my best friends, we don't have a problem calling each other out on our BS. but the thing that keeps eating at me is that I don't NEED a guy to fulfill my life. I WANT a partner in crime to make my life more fun. I have my own shit under control, and I don't need you to pay my bills or take care of me. I want you around to go out to dinner, to go do things. I will pay my own way, I want to enjoy your company.

is that too much to ask?? 

exactly where I am at Chive...

[Apple]

Now that my job situation is better, I might start thinking about dating again, but I'm not sure.  I know the online stuff isn't for me, so that's out.  My new schedule isn't real conducive to dating, so I'm not going to go out looking, at least for a while.  Figure I'll see my son through this last year of school, then see how I feel about putting myself out there more.

And, if it doesn't happen, it just means freedom to do what I want, when I want.  I plan to do a lot more traveling. My new schedule is perfect for that, and it would be a lot easier on my own anyway.

[sapphire12]

Why oh why do guys think it is acceptable to text/call someone they just met at 4 am?!?!?!

This is not the behavior of a gentlemen trying to get to know a lady better.

[Deleted]

I recently took a new approach to dating. I dumped the cheater and told him to get out of my life and stay out. I am very attracted to him physically and we seem to want the same things in life, but he can't seem to decide WTF he wants, and I solved that.  

I put an ad on Craigslist that basically said here is exactly who I am and what I want/believe, and I am looking for someone who wants to share what I have to offer, can offer me the same, and add to both of our lives without drama, other women, or unresolved bullshit.

I've discovered that my "path to enlightenment" gives me a lot less tolerance of people who haven't spent time alone and can't be alone and happy. I want to meet a "whole person" and I had been meeting men who are thinking they need a woman to complete them, or some such crap. Whether it's age or wisdom, I am way past that part of my life. A couple hundred miles of solo hiking teaches you what you do and do not want in life. Now I am trying to live it.

So, I got about 20 responses. 5 out of the area - not interested in long distance. 2 told me, and showed me, what they had in their pants to offer. Ewww. Deleted. The rest were mostly older guys, local, and some more interesting and normal sounding than others.

One guy and I started messaging and he asked me up to his property. I've been hanging out and talking with him since.

It's the oddest thing. He is probably the last person I would have picked off the street to guess I had anything in common with. I think I am probably the same for him. So far, we disagree on nearly nothing and found we like nearly all the same things and want the same things in life. 

And ladies, might I suggest considering the vegetarian men? Apparently they have much better, ahem, circulation and can make Thai food like no others.  

[weltschmerz]

Oct 8, 2015 13:03:36 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

I recently took a new approach to dating. I dumped the cheater and told him to get out of my life and stay out. I am very attracted to him physically and we seem to want the same things in life, but he can't seem to decide WTF he wants, and I solved that.  

I put an ad on Craigslist that basically said here is exactly who I am and what I want/believe, and I am looking for someone who wants to share what I have to offer, can offer me the same, and add to both of our lives without drama, other women, or unresolved bullshit.

I've discovered that my "path to enlightenment" gives me a lot less tolerance of people who haven't spent time alone and can't be alone and happy. I want to meet a "whole person" and I had been meeting men who are thinking they need a woman to complete them, or some such crap. Whether it's age or wisdom, I am way past that part of my life. A couple hundred miles of solo hiking teaches you what you do and do not want in life. Now I am trying to live it.

So, I got about 20 responses. 5 out of the area - not interested in long distance. 2 told me, and showed me, what they had in their pants to offer. Ewww. Deleted. The rest were mostly older guys, local, and some more interesting and normal sounding than others.

One guy and I started messaging and he asked me up to his property. I've been hanging out and talking with him since.

It's the oddest thing. He is probably the last person I would have picked off the street to guess I had anything in common with. I think I am probably the same for him. So far, we disagree on nearly nothing and found we like nearly all the same things and want the same things in life. 

And ladies, might I suggest considering the vegetarian men? Apparently they have much better, ahem, circulation and can make Thai food like no others.  

Lol! I have to agree with you on that one. Oh my!!

[MJ2.0]

Oct 8, 2015 13:03:36 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

I recently took a new approach to dating. I dumped the cheater and told him to get out of my life and stay out. I am very attracted to him physically and we seem to want the same things in life, but he can't seem to decide WTF he wants, and I solved that.  

I put an ad on Craigslist that basically said here is exactly who I am and what I want/believe, and I am looking for someone who wants to share what I have to offer, can offer me the same, and add to both of our lives without drama, other women, or unresolved bullshit.

I've discovered that my "path to enlightenment" gives me a lot less tolerance of people who haven't spent time alone and can't be alone and happy. I want to meet a "whole person" and I had been meeting men who are thinking they need a woman to complete them, or some such crap. Whether it's age or wisdom, I am way past that part of my life. A couple hundred miles of solo hiking teaches you what you do and do not want in life. Now I am trying to live it.

So, I got about 20 responses. 5 out of the area - not interested in long distance. 2 told me, and showed me, what they had in their pants to offer. Ewww. Deleted. The rest were mostly older guys, local, and some more interesting and normal sounding than others.

One guy and I started messaging and he asked me up to his property. I've been hanging out and talking with him since.

It's the oddest thing. He is probably the last person I would have picked off the street to guess I had anything in common with. I think I am probably the same for him. So far, we disagree on nearly nothing and found we like nearly all the same things and want the same things in life. 

And ladies, might I suggest considering the vegetarian men? Apparently they have much better, ahem, circulation and can make Thai food like no others.  

so he's not strictly vegetarian then...

[Cookies Galore]

Oct 8, 2015 13:03:36 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

I recently took a new approach to dating. I dumped the cheater and told him to get out of my life and stay out. I am very attracted to him physically and we seem to want the same things in life, but he can't seem to decide WTF he wants, and I solved that.  

I put an ad on Craigslist that basically said here is exactly who I am and what I want/believe, and I am looking for someone who wants to share what I have to offer, can offer me the same, and add to both of our lives without drama, other women, or unresolved bullshit.

I've discovered that my "path to enlightenment" gives me a lot less tolerance of people who haven't spent time alone and can't be alone and happy. I want to meet a "whole person" and I had been meeting men who are thinking they need a woman to complete them, or some such crap. Whether it's age or wisdom, I am way past that part of my life. A couple hundred miles of solo hiking teaches you what you do and do not want in life. Now I am trying to live it.

So, I got about 20 responses. 5 out of the area - not interested in long distance. 2 told me, and showed me, what they had in their pants to offer. Ewww. Deleted. The rest were mostly older guys, local, and some more interesting and normal sounding than others.

One guy and I started messaging and he asked me up to his property. I've been hanging out and talking with him since.

It's the oddest thing. He is probably the last person I would have picked off the street to guess I had anything in common with. I think I am probably the same for him. So far, we disagree on nearly nothing and found we like nearly all the same things and want the same things in life. 

And ladies, might I suggest considering the vegetarian men? Apparently they have much better, ahem, circulation and can make Thai food like no others.  

This is pretty much exactly how I met my husband. I posted an ad on Craigslist for shits and giggles, and listed a bunch of stuff about me (most of it silly, like I will burst into random song or that i have a Seinfeld reference for any ocassion). The now hubs emailed me and we spent the whole work day writing each other. Met him the next day, and we've been together since! This was eight years ago.