Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 29, 2015 14:29:28 GMT -5
I've only been single for a short period of time so I am sure I will have some more stories at some point..so far, the only really awful date that I had was with a guy that LOVED cats. This never came up in conversation before so imagine my surprise when we are sitting at the dinner table (a fun, hibachi place!) and he starts showing me his photo album of CATS! And if that wasn't enough, he had video, too! I actually escaped to the bathroom and texted Miss Margarita for advice...she was too busy laughing and asking for video of it all to be of any help
At first I thought maybe he just wasn't into me and that was his way of blowing me off...but nope, he texted me the next day to tell me what a great time he had, if we could do it again...perhaps he is confused and doesn't realize he is actually gay...because straight men don't have 5 freaking cats!lol
I've never ventured into the online dating world so if I ever do, I'm sure I will have some better stories!
ROFLMAO That's fucking hilarious! It really was...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2015 15:02:17 GMT -5
Zib...you married a man who was on the heart transplant list. He was obviously VERY sick before you married him. I really don't understand why you went through with the marriage if you didn't want to be saddled with someone who is very sick.
I understand that dealing with a very sick spouse is overwhelming. But isn't part of the vows "in sickness and in health"....I am obviously not married now but if I ever remarry I sure hope my spouse wouldn't resent me if I were to get sick.
MT, I say this very respectfully, and even I don't know what Zib is going through - but loosen up. Unless you have personally lived through this, I think you should withhold judgment. Dialysis is supposed to be the worst. The PT stuff - Mom lived through that too. Some of it is a judgment call. Mom and Dad lived in a cape cod. You had to do about 5 steps to get in the door. Mom patiently worked with Dad helping him maneuver the steps b/c the PT people said it was better if he kept moving rather than give up and use a wheelchair. Thankfully my Oldest nephew and my DB made the call that it was time to put in a wheelchair ramp the summer before my Dad completely lost the ability to walk. As we live in the Midwest DN raised the issue to DB and Mom that he thought it was time to install before the snow flew and they couldn't break ground. They agreed, finished the ramp in fall, and by that Thanksgiving Dad could not walk at all anymore. it was literally that he lost the ability to walk overnight.
Providing 24/7 care for someone is a huge responsibility. On top of that patients often feel free to take out their frustrations on their loved ones where they would not behave that way in-front of a care giver. If Zib's husband was getting care in a rehab place there would be shift changes - she is never off duty. Zib is your DH on Medicare yet? Maybe you could at least get the one day a week care. Mom had the caregivers come one day a week and help with Dad's shower. My Dad bragged to my DH that he had a "Shower Girl" . My DH didn't miss a beat, he asked Dad, How do I get one too?
My Mom had a standing Thursday AM Stained Glass Class at the senior center, which was part of her respite. IDK if you can get caregivers in 3 days a week, but do lean on his kids to help you more, and schedule some time off/out for yourself.
I also want to tell you all that shortly before Dad died, My Husband, My Brother, and My DN looked at their wives at a family event and said "Don't get any ideas - Bean's Mom is a saint, but I am never going to do this. If you need this level of care-you are going to a nursing home." Even my Mom says she does not expect us to care for her to that extent at home. If Mom needs that level of care, I will make my decisions at that time, but she lived it- and knows it is a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.
I can tell you from my experience, I don't resent DH for getting sick as he was diagnosed with MS before we met and married and I knew what I was getting into. What I do resent is that ever since he "retired" (forced out of his job by his shitass company and union as a liability) he has given up on life. I have to drag his ass out of the house during those few hours that I'm awake on my nights off since I work 2 fucking jobs to support our asses. I'm not lucky enough to have a well-to-do husband. Mine stuck his head in the sand and a thumb up his ass thinking "It will never happen to me" and then when it did...."well shit. Now I'm stupid and useless." He likes to cry about how hard I have to work to take care of him and support us and he wishes he could do something. He could but that would require asking for help but God Fucking Forbid he should do that!! The world will end! I have started to ask his family for help since he refuses to. The only reason he takes meds his because his father reamed him out about trying them right before he died. Me? I don't know shit but get his parents involved and he's 5 years old again. His SSDI pays our mortgage and his medical. I pay everything else. Thankfully no kids because we just can't afford them. Ok, I think I've had my mini tantrum. for now. I do know exactly how zibazinski feels as I am there doing it myself in a similar vein. I have, and will admit I still have the suicidal thoughts, but I think my anti-seizure pills contribute to that. I am well aware I should see a therapist but I have no idea where I could find one that works at 4 in the morning. Hell, I still have unresolved issues from my dad dying 12 years ago and getting laid off 3 years ago. Sometimes it seems like it's all coming down at once and having a spouse who refuses to help himself to stay well can be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Or my sanity, at the rate I'm going.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 29, 2015 15:20:45 GMT -5
empressspunkles - hugs. More and More people are going to find out the hard way that the government's plan for dealing with the old and infirm, relies largely on [unpaid] home caregivers. Very few people really have a good enough set up at home to even make this possible. Mom never could have cared for Dad at home if they had not had the where-with-all to install a lift that would transport dad from room to room. Even then, it was a lot of physical work for Mom to take care of Dad, and if you are talking about a 70 or 80 year old woman caring for a similarly aged male who weighs 1.5-2x what she does - get real.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Sept 29, 2015 15:23:17 GMT -5
I practice my song singing with mime. Samesies! By "songwriting" I mean "singing songs about my cats." I do the same with my dogs. One day not long ago, BF said he was singing to the dogs and my daughter came out of her cave and looked around, then said "I heard singing, I thought Mom was home".
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Sept 29, 2015 15:26:28 GMT -5
MT, I say this very respectfully, and even I don't know what Zib is going through - but loosen up. Unless you have personally lived through this, I think you should withhold judgment. Dialysis is supposed to be the worst. The PT stuff - Mom lived through that too. Some of it is a judgment call. Mom and Dad lived in a cape cod. You had to do about 5 steps to get in the door. Mom patiently worked with Dad helping him maneuver the steps b/c the PT people said it was better if he kept moving rather than give up and use a wheelchair. Thankfully my Oldest nephew and my DB made the call that it was time to put in a wheelchair ramp the summer before my Dad completely lost the ability to walk. As we live in the Midwest DN raised the issue to DB and Mom that he thought it was time to install before the snow flew and they couldn't break ground. They agreed, finished the ramp in fall, and by that Thanksgiving Dad could not walk at all anymore. it was literally that he lost the ability to walk overnight.
Providing 24/7 care for someone is a huge responsibility. On top of that patients often feel free to take out their frustrations on their loved ones where they would not behave that way in-front of a care giver. If Zib's husband was getting care in a rehab place there would be shift changes - she is never off duty. Zib is your DH on Medicare yet? Maybe you could at least get the one day a week care. Mom had the caregivers come one day a week and help with Dad's shower. My Dad bragged to my DH that he had a "Shower Girl" . My DH didn't miss a beat, he asked Dad, How do I get one too?
My Mom had a standing Thursday AM Stained Glass Class at the senior center, which was part of her respite. IDK if you can get caregivers in 3 days a week, but do lean on his kids to help you more, and schedule some time off/out for yourself.
I also want to tell you all that shortly before Dad died, My Husband, My Brother, and My DN looked at their wives at a family event and said "Don't get any ideas - Bean's Mom is a saint, but I am never going to do this. If you need this level of care-you are going to a nursing home." Even my Mom says she does not expect us to care for her to that extent at home. If Mom needs that level of care, I will make my decisions at that time, but she lived it- and knows it is a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.
I can tell you from my experience, I don't resent DH for getting sick as he was diagnosed with MS before we met and married and I knew what I was getting into. What I do resent is that ever since he "retired" (forced out of his job by his shitass company and union as a liability) he has given up on life. I have to drag his ass out of the house during those few hours that I'm awake on my nights off since I work 2 fucking jobs to support our asses. I'm not lucky enough to have a well-to-do husband. Mine stuck his head in the sand and a thumb up his ass thinking "It will never happen to me" and then when it did...."well shit. Now I'm stupid and useless." He likes to cry about how hard I have to work to take care of him and support us and he wishes he could do something. He could but that would require asking for help but God Fucking Forbid he should do that!! The world will end! I have started to ask his family for help since he refuses to. The only reason he takes meds his because his father reamed him out about trying them right before he died. Me? I don't know shit but get his parents involved and he's 5 years old again. His SSDI pays our mortgage and his medical. I pay everything else. Thankfully no kids because we just can't afford them. Ok, I think I've had my mini tantrum. for now. I do know exactly how zibazinski feels as I am there doing it myself in a similar vein. I have, and will admit I still have the suicidal thoughts, but I think my anti-seizure pills contribute to that. I am well aware I should see a therapist but I have no idea where I could find one that works at 4 in the morning. Hell, I still have unresolved issues from my dad dying 12 years ago and getting laid off 3 years ago. Sometimes it seems like it's all coming down at once and having a spouse who refuses to help himself to stay well can be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Or my sanity, at the rate I'm going. Oh empresspunkie, that just sucks.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Sept 29, 2015 15:38:22 GMT -5
I'm so sorry @empressspunkles
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 29, 2015 15:57:28 GMT -5
Ok clearly my troubles are nothing compared to what some of you are dealing with. Thanks for the perspective shake.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Sept 29, 2015 16:20:22 GMT -5
Well, yes, I got the message. My point was why not just actually use words to communicate rather than silence. I figure by the time you are 50 you should know how to politely decline.
Glad to know I am not alone MJ2.0. Dating has taught me that flakiness and assholiness has no age limit. As the age of eligible candidates goes up, the concentration of the above in the dating pool also increases. There is a reason those folks are available. Nobody else will put up with them.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 29, 2015 16:54:33 GMT -5
Zib...you married a man who was on the heart transplant list. He was obviously VERY sick before you married him. I really don't understand why you went through with the marriage if you didn't want to be saddled with someone who is very sick.
I understand that dealing with a very sick spouse is overwhelming. But isn't part of the vows "in sickness and in health"....I am obviously not married now but if I ever remarry I sure hope my spouse wouldn't resent me if I were to get sick.
MT, I say this very respectfully, and even I don't know what Zib is going through - but loosen up. Unless you have personally lived through this, I think you should withhold judgment. Dialysis is supposed to be the worst. The PT stuff - Mom lived through that too. Some of it is a judgment call. Mom and Dad lived in a cape cod. You had to do about 5 steps to get in the door. Mom patiently worked with Dad helping him maneuver the steps b/c the PT people said it was better if he kept moving rather than give up and use a wheelchair. Thankfully my Oldest nephew and my DB made the call that it was time to put in a wheelchair ramp the summer before my Dad completely lost the ability to walk. As we live in the Midwest DN raised the issue to DB and Mom that he thought it was time to install before the snow flew and they couldn't break ground. They agreed, finished the ramp in fall, and by that Thanksgiving Dad could not walk at all anymore. it was literally that he lost the ability to walk overnight.
Providing 24/7 care for someone is a huge responsibility. On top of that patients often feel free to take out their frustrations on their loved ones where they would not behave that way in-front of a care giver. If Zib's husband was getting care in a rehab place there would be shift changes - she is never off duty. Zib is your DH on Medicare yet? Maybe you could at least get the one day a week care. Mom had the caregivers come one day a week and help with Dad's shower. My Dad bragged to my DH that he had a "Shower Girl" . My DH didn't miss a beat, he asked Dad, How do I get one too?
My Mom had a standing Thursday AM Stained Glass Class at the senior center, which was part of her respite. IDK if you can get caregivers in 3 days a week, but do lean on his kids to help you more, and schedule some time off/out for yourself.
I also want to tell you all that shortly before Dad died, My Husband, My Brother, and My DN looked at their wives at a family event and said "Don't get any ideas - Bean's Mom is a saint, but I am never going to do this. If you need this level of care-you are going to a nursing home." Even my Mom says she does not expect us to care for her to that extent at home. If Mom needs that level of care, I will make my decisions at that time, but she lived it- and knows it is a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.
I wasn't trying to be disrespectul to zib. I honestly don't know why she got married. She is still a newlywed and I never hear her say anything nice about her husband or his family. I don't lack sympathy...I lack understanding of why she married him in the first place
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 29, 2015 16:54:44 GMT -5
Dating has taught me that flakiness and assholiness has no age limit. As the age of eligible candidates goes up, the concentration of the above in the dating pool also increases. There is a reason those folks are available. Nobody else will put up with them. Hey now...Im awesome!lol
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 29, 2015 17:37:13 GMT -5
MT, I say this very respectfully, and even I don't know what Zib is going through - but loosen up. Unless you have personally lived through this, I think you should withhold judgment. Dialysis is supposed to be the worst. The PT stuff - Mom lived through that too. Some of it is a judgment call. Mom and Dad lived in a cape cod. You had to do about 5 steps to get in the door. Mom patiently worked with Dad helping him maneuver the steps b/c the PT people said it was better if he kept moving rather than give up and use a wheelchair. Thankfully my Oldest nephew and my DB made the call that it was time to put in a wheelchair ramp the summer before my Dad completely lost the ability to walk. As we live in the Midwest DN raised the issue to DB and Mom that he thought it was time to install before the snow flew and they couldn't break ground. They agreed, finished the ramp in fall, and by that Thanksgiving Dad could not walk at all anymore. it was literally that he lost the ability to walk overnight.
Providing 24/7 care for someone is a huge responsibility. On top of that patients often feel free to take out their frustrations on their loved ones where they would not behave that way in-front of a care giver. If Zib's husband was getting care in a rehab place there would be shift changes - she is never off duty. Zib is your DH on Medicare yet? Maybe you could at least get the one day a week care. Mom had the caregivers come one day a week and help with Dad's shower. My Dad bragged to my DH that he had a "Shower Girl" . My DH didn't miss a beat, he asked Dad, How do I get one too?
My Mom had a standing Thursday AM Stained Glass Class at the senior center, which was part of her respite. IDK if you can get caregivers in 3 days a week, but do lean on his kids to help you more, and schedule some time off/out for yourself.
I also want to tell you all that shortly before Dad died, My Husband, My Brother, and My DN looked at their wives at a family event and said "Don't get any ideas - Bean's Mom is a saint, but I am never going to do this. If you need this level of care-you are going to a nursing home." Even my Mom says she does not expect us to care for her to that extent at home. If Mom needs that level of care, I will make my decisions at that time, but she lived it- and knows it is a nearly impossible feat to accomplish.
I wasn't trying to be disrespectul to zib. I honestly don't know why she got married. She is still a newlywed and I never hear her say anything nice about her husband or his family. I don't lack sympathy...I lack understanding of why she married him in the first place He wanted to be married. My family now feels that he knew all along how very ill he was and how bad he was going to get. I don't think he knew , at least I hope not. I married him bcuz he wanted it and bcuz I wanted him to be happy. I'd have stood by him anyway through this bcuz he needed someone who would. I wonder if his ex knew and bailed ASAP. She'd have let him die and he and I both know this. But he needs to pull his head out of his ass and make an effort. I'm not going to let anyone kill me off though. Those pictures were a huge wake up call. He's laying in bed right now and when he gets up, we are having a huge talk. I'm not spending the winter up here and I need my family.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 29, 2015 17:38:58 GMT -5
Medicare takes 18 months. He's never filled out or even talked to social security yet. Procrastinator. Business hasn't been sold either. Like he's been supposed to be doing since June.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 29, 2015 17:40:48 GMT -5
DH, the person he used to be, had a great sense of humor. But now I think we both wanted what we'd been denied 25 years ago. Now 30. But you can't recapture the past.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Sept 29, 2015 18:07:37 GMT -5
I'm so sorry that you are going through this, Zib and Empress. Zib, people here have suggested getting somebody in 3 days a week. We know your DH can afford the care. How about even 2 days? Empress, you say he wants to help but doesn't do anything, while you work 2 jobs. Could you come up with a plan where you could go down to 1 job? It sounds like your DH is into "I can't do this" but often women are much more concrete, and proactive. It may not take much for you to be able to go down to one job, but you may have to sell him on the idea, and set him up. It could be worth it though, because you can't do this forever. I wish you both the best. And t-bird, I wish you better luck in the dating pool! Have you tried other avenues besides dating sites? Meetup groups, getting involved either in something at your DS's school or in your community? One of my friends (not a very close friend but close enough that I got her a job at my school this year) is going through a (civil) divorce. Her ex is very wealthy. They were going to sell their HUGE house but at the last minute he decided to keep it and pay her out for half. The kids want to live with her. So her ex is living alone in a HUGE mansion, and she and her younger child just moved into a 3BR apt so there's room for her older child (who just started college) too. They are renting for now, but she plans to buy an apt (or a very small house) when she gets the money from her ex. VHCOLA here. She is dating a divorced dad from our kids' HS. She met him through her DD. It's been about a year or more now, and it's going really well.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Sept 29, 2015 18:25:16 GMT -5
"He wanted to be married. My family now feels that he knew all along how very ill he was and how bad he was going to get. I don't think he knew , at least I hope not. I married him bcuz he wanted it and bcuz I wanted him to be happy. I'd have stood by him anyway through this bcuz he needed someone who would. I wonder if his ex knew and bailed ASAP. She'd have let him die and he and I both know this. But he needs to pull his head out of his ass and make an effort. I'm not going to let anyone kill me off though. Those pictures were a huge wake up call. He's laying in bed right now and when he gets up, we are having a huge talk. I'm not spending the winter up here and I need my family."
I think it's admirable but I can't envision too many scenarios where I would get married because the other person wanted to unless I wanted to as well. Regardless what's done is done but on the face of what you've said it sounds like he's mailed it in and is leaning way too much on you. Maybe that's why he wanted to be married who knows but whether it is or isn't what he's doing now isn't right by you. Ultimately you have to do what's best for you because as I said before if you're miserable you're no good to anyone else.
Your posts and empress' make me think about my uncle who was married to a good person that we all liked. However she was a major headcase who stopped working, rarely went out of the house and took so many pills regularly for everything under the sun she couldn't even tell you what she was taking. We had family gatherings around the holidays that she wouldn't remember after because of everything she was on. The thing was my uncle was highly dependent on her too but it was unhealthy because they were both grossly overweight and I fully expected her to put him in an early grave while he worked to support them. She passed away unexpectedly and we all worried about my uncle because he already had depression issues. He ended up moving out of the place they had been for years where they rarely left the house and is now much more active. In a way for him as terrible as this sounds her passing probably added years to his life. Please don't misinterpret that as me saying her unexpected death was a good thing but the reality is they were both headed towards an early death unless they changed their lifestyle.
Good luck and I think it's great you're going to talk to him about it.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 29, 2015 18:34:07 GMT -5
As the age of eligible candidates goes up, the concentration of the above in the dating pool also increases. There is a reason those folks are available. Nobody else will put up with them. Hey now...Im awesome!lol Me too! Not my fault the husband up and died 5 years ago.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 29, 2015 18:42:11 GMT -5
Me too! Not my fault the husband up and died 5 years ago. Aww...I was going to crack a joke about my ex dying but even I have my limits... I know it is tough but you are smart, beautiful (inside and out) and you will be ok.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 29, 2015 18:43:38 GMT -5
I am at the point where I can joke about it (finally) so have at it!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 29, 2015 18:45:52 GMT -5
I am at the point where I can joke about it (finally) so have at it! Lol! You might be ok with it but I would have -0 posters calling me an asshole :-p
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 29, 2015 18:48:09 GMT -5
True enough!
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 29, 2015 20:28:44 GMT -5
Medicare takes 18 months. He's never filled out or even talked to social security yet. Procrastinator. Business hasn't been sold either. Like he's been supposed to be doing since June. For what? How old is he? I work for o small company. If you are under 20 employees, medicare is primAry to your regular health ins, and it should cut about $1,000 off his company health ins premium. He need to pay for A&B but that is about $100/quarter. We have an employee turning 65 next month. Our company health ins agent stopped in and logged onto a computer and walked our most computer illiterate employee through the application. Worth pursuing on multiple levels? Also, a social worker at the hospital would be a good resource. Mom and Dad used an elder care financial planner. You should have a resource like this as your DH has assets to protect.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 29, 2015 20:36:22 GMT -5
I am at the point where I can joke about it (finally) so have at it! Jenr, I apologize, maybe a mod could separate out the stuff related to Zib's DH's health. I certainly appreciate that dating is difficult shall I say for a woman past 30. A lot of successful Men seem to think they deserve a 20 something trophy girlfriend. I am game to date later in life, but really plan to make it on my own financially, so my emotional and financial well being is not dependent on someone else.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 29, 2015 20:43:48 GMT -5
I can tell you from my experience, I don't resent DH for getting sick as he was diagnosed with MS before we met and married and I knew what I was getting into. What I do resent is that ever since he "retired" (forced out of his job by his shitass company and union as a liability) he has given up on life. I have to drag his ass out of the house during those few hours that I'm awake on my nights off since I work 2 fucking jobs to support our asses. I'm not lucky enough to have a well-to-do husband. Mine stuck his head in the sand and a thumb up his ass thinking "It will never happen to me" and then when it did...."well shit. Now I'm stupid and useless." He likes to cry about how hard I have to work to take care of him and support us and he wishes he could do something. He could but that would require asking for help but God Fucking Forbid he should do that!! The world will end! I have started to ask his family for help since he refuses to. The only reason he takes meds his because his father reamed him out about trying them right before he died. Me? I don't know shit but get his parents involved and he's 5 years old again. His SSDI pays our mortgage and his medical. I pay everything else. Thankfully no kids because we just can't afford them. Ok, I think I've had my mini tantrum. for now. I do know exactly how zibazinski feels as I am there doing it myself in a similar vein. I have, and will admit I still have the suicidal thoughts, but I think my anti-seizure pills contribute to that. I am well aware I should see a therapist but I have no idea where I could find one that works at 4 in the morning. Hell, I still have unresolved issues from my dad dying 12 years ago and getting laid off 3 years ago. Sometimes it seems like it's all coming down at once and having a spouse who refuses to help himself to stay well can be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Or my sanity, at the rate I'm going. Oh empresspunkie, that just sucks. Yeah that. ((((Hugs))))
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 29, 2015 21:00:35 GMT -5
Medicare takes 18 months. He's never filled out or even talked to social security yet. Procrastinator. Business hasn't been sold either. Like he's been supposed to be doing since June. For what? How old is he? I work for o small company. If you are under 20 employees, medicare is primAry to your regular health ins, and it should cut about $1,000 off his company health ins premium. He need to pay for A&B but that is about $100/quarter. We have an employee turning 65 next month. Our company health ins agent stopped in and logged onto a computer and walked our most computer illiterate employee through the application. Worth pursuing on multiple levels? Also, a social worker at the hospital would be a good resource. Mom and Dad used an elder care financial planner. You should have a resource like this as your DH has assets to protect. He's 61
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 30, 2015 2:27:56 GMT -5
Talk to hospital social worker re: healthcare options, if there is any ins. Coverage for home healthcare aide.
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tskeeter
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 20, 2011 19:37:45 GMT -5
Posts: 6,831
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Post by tskeeter on Sept 30, 2015 10:16:39 GMT -5
As the age of eligible candidates goes up, the concentration of the above in the dating pool also increases. There is a reason those folks are available. Nobody else will put up with them. Hey now...Im awesome!lol Well, our devine Miss T, you would be the obvious exception to the rule.
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t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
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Post by t-dog on Sept 30, 2015 11:52:04 GMT -5
Well, our devine Miss T, you would be the obvious exception to the rule. Thanks for boosting the self confidence there! I deem myself an exception since no one else does
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:19:57 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 12:18:10 GMT -5
Ok clearly my troubles are nothing compared to what some of you are dealing with. Thanks for the perspective shake. Sorry t-dog. Got a little caught up in my pity party. For what it's worth, my bad dates before DH included a guy who felt I should put out in a parking lot by the beach because he picked me up and another dumbass who's idea of an awesome date was me driving us everywhere and he springs for food swiped from the Brigham's he used to work at. Not winners. Brigham's guy did introduce me to DH-to-be and BIL-to-be though. So he was good for something.
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resolution
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:09:56 GMT -5
Posts: 7,244
Mini-Profile Name Color: 305b2b
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Post by resolution on Sept 30, 2015 13:11:42 GMT -5
My last date before I met DH I went on two dates with the family friend of a good friend. I didn't vet him properly because my friend had known him for 20 years. The first date was lunch out and then a walk; nothing out of the ordinary other than running out of things to talk about. The second date was a mistake but I got talked into it by the friend who thought I hadn't given him enough of a chance to catch my interest on the first date.
When he came to pick me up, he showed up at my house with a huge bag of movies and other items that he wanted to leave at my house so we could use them whenever he came over to hang out. It took me literally hours to get him out the door because he kept refusing to take all his stuff with him and I wouldn't let him leave it at my house to have an excuse to come back.
He started calling me several times a day for the next six months, and every time I blocked a number he would start calling from a new one. However I think the fact that this other guy kept calling me did motivate DH to ask me out sooner rather than later.
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lexxy703
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 26, 2011 13:52:17 GMT -5
Posts: 13,771
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Post by lexxy703 on Sept 30, 2015 15:25:40 GMT -5
One of my disastrous dates was a guy I met through an online dating service. He had used pictures that had to be 10 years old. Then he picked a restaurant in a huge mall. I was circling the parking lot looking for a space & he called me 3 times to ask where I was. All through dinner he talked about how much money he had & how he was a real estate genius when it came to buying & flipping. After dinner I just wanted to escape but he insisted we go to a bar for a few drinks. While there he continued to scope out all the women. When I went to the ladies room I came out to find he had moved & was sitting chatting up some woman. I slipped out & left. A few days later he left a message on my machine telling me when & where to meet him for our next date. Not asking if I wanted a next date. TELLING me. Yeah that didn't happen. He left a few more unanswered message & then gave up.
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