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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Sept 30, 2015 16:04:15 GMT -5
It's hard to pick just one terrible date. One guy took me to see a stand up comic. We had absolutely no chemistry, and the comedian heckled us. He kept saying (based on my body language I suppose) that guy ain't gettin' no tonight. Everyone else thought it was funny, but I was pretty uncomfortable. Another time, I was on a second date with a guy who seemed normal during our first date. On our second date, we saw a movie and then went to a local bar to have a drink. He ran into a couple of friends, and I was ready to leave pretty quickly after that. When I let him know, he insisted on driving me home, but he just had to make one quick stop. The purpose of the stop turned out to be to score coke for his friends, so I got out of the car and walked home (only a few blocks). After that, I instituted my "I drive myself or we stay within walking distance of my place" rule, at least until I know a guy well enough. If something were to happen to my SO, I am not sure if I would actively try to date again. I spent most of my 20s single, so I appreciate the benefits. I hope my SO and I will continue to be happy and healthy until we both pass away at the same time (in our sleep, holding hands, in our retirement home). P.S. Full time care giving is an immensely draining task. If my SO ever gets sick, I would use every resource available (even gubmint $$) to make sure I stayed physically and mentally healthy enough to stay.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Sept 30, 2015 16:49:38 GMT -5
Medicare takes 18 months. He's never filled out or even talked to social security yet. Procrastinator. Business hasn't been sold either. Like he's been supposed to be doing since June. Zib, don't know what kind of business your DH has, or how large it is, but selling a business isn't like selling a house. There are far fewer interested buyers. And even fewer qualified buyers. Think it took the folks over two years, with the assistance to a business broker, to find a buyer for their business. Most people don't have the financial resources to buy the business outright, or even to pay for the inventory that was on hand to support day to day operations. And they aren't willing to work hard enough to keep a business successful enough to make the payments on it. They think being a business owner means stopping in once or twice a week and taking the money to the bank. While using the business to lease a couple of new Mercedes, as is befitting their new status a business owners. My favorite buyer story is the guy who thought he could talk the folks into turning over the business and the inventory to him without any money down. And that both of them would work for him for six months for free. And then he'd start to make payments on the business. They may have grown up Minnesota nice, but they weren't as niave as they were when they went into business 20 years earlier. And they ain't ever been stupid. I suspect that the best bet for selling the business would be to approach competitors. Might not be able to maximize the selling price, but would be able to dispose of any inventory before it has lost all of it's value. (That's what happened with my Grandfather's business. Gram refused to take less than top value for the inventory after Grandpa died. So it sat around for decades. I think it was finally sold for a couple of hundred bucks. By then, it was so old that a little bit could be sold as retro items at premium prices. But most was just garbage.) You might even be able to get some value out of customer lists, etc. If the business is still an operating concern, that would probably have even more value. (Heck, you've run rental businesses for years. You understand how this stuff works.)
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 30, 2015 17:37:56 GMT -5
Loving the stories...who else has one to share?
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 30, 2015 17:38:43 GMT -5
FYI on the last date met the guy at a local restaurant. His cousin and girlfriend just happened to be there. Nothing like meeting a new guy for the first time in person and having the relatives along for the ride.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Sept 30, 2015 17:51:39 GMT -5
One guy that I had been on a couple of dates with invited me to a Christmas party. He said that his sister would be there, but otherwise it would be mostly his friends that I had already met. When I got there, it turned out to be a sit down dinner with his parents and grandparents. I was the only person there who wasn't family. Again, I was glad that I could drive myself home.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 30, 2015 18:17:00 GMT -5
Medicare takes 18 months. He's never filled out or even talked to social security yet. Procrastinator. Business hasn't been sold either. Like he's been supposed to be doing since June. Zib, don't know what kind of business your DH has, or how large it is, but selling a business isn't like selling a house. There are far fewer interested buyers. And even fewer qualified buyers. Think it took the folks over two years, with the assistance to a business broker, to find a buyer for their business. Most people don't have the financial resources to buy the business outright, or even to pay for the inventory that was on hand to support day to day operations. And they aren't willing to work hard enough to keep a business successful enough to make the payments on it. They think being a business owner means stopping in once or twice a week and taking the money to the bank. While using the business to lease a couple of new Mercedes, as is befitting their new status a business owners. My favorite buyer story is the guy who thought he could talk the folks into turning over the business and the inventory to him without any money down. And that both of them would work for him for six months for free. And then he'd start to make payments on the business. They may have grown up Minnesota nice, but they weren't as niave as they were when they went into business 20 years earlier. And they ain't ever been stupid. I suspect that the best bet for selling the business would be to approach competitors. Might not be able to maximize the selling price, but would be able to dispose of any inventory before it has lost all of it's value. (That's what happened with my Grandfather's business. Gram refused to take less than top value for the inventory after Grandpa died. So it sat around for decades. I think it was finally sold for a couple of hundred bucks. By then, it was so old that a little bit could be sold as retro items at premium prices. But most was just garbage.) You might even be able to get some value out of customer lists, etc. If the business is still an operating concern, that would probably have even more value. (Heck, you've run rental businesses for years. You understand how this stuff works.) Which is why he needs to get started. I have zero interest in doing it after he's dead. Not my inheritance or my problem and I'm not letting him make it my problem.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Sept 30, 2015 18:31:39 GMT -5
I should just accept the fact that dating is a horrendous process filled with mutes. Had a date that I thought went well, apparently not because not a word since (its been 2.5 weeks). Why can't men just communicate that they aren't interested. Well, I was on the opposite end recently. I met a woman for lunch a few weeks ago. She was ok, but I wasn't interested. I just dropped off contact because that's what the vast majority of women do, so I figured it was the way things were done after a first date. She sent me an e-mail "breaking up" with me a few days ago. But as I said, the impression I got is that you don't owe anyone an explanation after just one meeting.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 30, 2015 18:52:47 GMT -5
FYI on the last date met the guy at a local restaurant. His cousin and girlfriend just happened to be there. Nothing like meeting a new guy for the first time in person and having the relatives along for the ride. That happened when I was on my second or third date with Old Dude. I was telling him that my family was huge and that we were always together. I told him I pretty much live in Mayberry. He said it couldn't be that bad. I told him that he was about to find out because my aunt and uncle were walking towards us. He found out really quick that I was actually under stating how much we were together.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 30, 2015 18:54:26 GMT -5
I should just accept the fact that dating is a horrendous process filled with mutes. Had a date that I thought went well, apparently not because not a word since (its been 2.5 weeks). Why can't men just communicate that they aren't interested. Well, I was on the opposite end recently. I met a woman for lunch a few weeks ago. She was ok, but I wasn't interested. I just dropped off contact because that's what the vast majority of women do, so I figured it was the way things were done after a first date. She sent me an e-mail "breaking up" with me a few days ago. But as I said, the impression I got is that you don't owe anyone an explanation after just one meeting. You don't. That girl must not have gotten the memo.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 30, 2015 19:34:22 GMT -5
Well, I was on the opposite end recently. I met a woman for lunch a few weeks ago. She was ok, but I wasn't interested. I just dropped off contact because that's what the vast majority of women do, so I figured it was the way things were done after a first date. She sent me an e-mail "breaking up" with me a few days ago. But as I said, the impression I got is that you don't owe anyone an explanation after just one meeting. You don't. That girl must not have gotten the memo. Yeah that.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Sept 30, 2015 20:47:18 GMT -5
I don’t know if you guys are scaring me or if I want to start dating just for the stories. I’ve been divorced for 10 years now and have not gone a date or have been asked out for a date. Life is just kids, work, home and school, so I really have had no desire, but as things are changing, I’m beginning to wonder if “I could put myself out there.”
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Oct 1, 2015 22:45:00 GMT -5
So I just literally discovered that the guy I was seeing last year who just vanished at New year's now has the whole family moved here from out of state. I knew he was moving his daughters and encouraged him to do so since he missed them so much. But apparently the wife he was supposedly divorced from also moved here in April.
Sues I'm beginning to think I should follow your lead and forget this foray into the dating world. I've tried it for a year and that seems like plenty!
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Oct 2, 2015 0:15:52 GMT -5
I feel like an idiot. But now I get why he went awol and am convinced he was lying the whole 5 months we dated.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Oct 2, 2015 0:48:57 GMT -5
I've only been single for a short period of time so I am sure I will have some more stories at some point..so far, the only really awful date that I had was with a guy that LOVED cats. This never came up in conversation before so imagine my surprise when we are sitting at the dinner table (a fun, hibachi place!) and he starts showing me his photo album of CATS! And if that wasn't enough, he had video, too! I actually escaped to the bathroom and texted Miss Margarita for advice...she was too busy laughing and asking for video of it all to be of any help
At first I thought maybe he just wasn't into me and that was his way of blowing me off...but nope, he texted me the next day to tell me what a great time he had, if we could do it again...perhaps he is confused and doesn't realize he is actually gay...because straight men don't have 5 freaking cats!lol
I've never ventured into the online dating world so if I ever do, I'm sure I will have some better stories!
Give him my number. I don't mind dating a guy with 5 cats. I like cats.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 2, 2015 6:08:52 GMT -5
So I just literally discovered that the guy I was seeing last year who just vanished at New year's now has the whole family moved here from out of state. I knew he was moving his daughters and encouraged him to do so since he missed them so much. But apparently the wife he was supposedly divorced from also moved here in April. Sues I'm beginning to think I should follow your lead and forget this foray into the dating world. I've tried it for a year and that seems like plenty! What a piece of shit. Don't feel like an idiot. You had no way of knowing he was a lying cheat.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 2, 2015 6:47:24 GMT -5
Zib, don't know what kind of business your DH has, or how large it is, but selling a business isn't like selling a house. There are far fewer interested buyers. And even fewer qualified buyers. Think it took the folks over two years, with the assistance to a business broker, to find a buyer for their business. Most people don't have the financial resources to buy the business outright, or even to pay for the inventory that was on hand to support day to day operations. And they aren't willing to work hard enough to keep a business successful enough to make the payments on it. They think being a business owner means stopping in once or twice a week and taking the money to the bank. While using the business to lease a couple of new Mercedes, as is befitting their new status a business owners. My favorite buyer story is the guy who thought he could talk the folks into turning over the business and the inventory to him without any money down. And that both of them would work for him for six months for free. And then he'd start to make payments on the business. They may have grown up Minnesota nice, but they weren't as niave as they were when they went into business 20 years earlier. And they ain't ever been stupid. I suspect that the best bet for selling the business would be to approach competitors. Might not be able to maximize the selling price, but would be able to dispose of any inventory before it has lost all of it's value. (That's what happened with my Grandfather's business. Gram refused to take less than top value for the inventory after Grandpa died. So it sat around for decades. I think it was finally sold for a couple of hundred bucks. By then, it was so old that a little bit could be sold as retro items at premium prices. But most was just garbage.) You might even be able to get some value out of customer lists, etc. If the business is still an operating concern, that would probably have even more value. (Heck, you've run rental businesses for years. You understand how this stuff works.) Which is why he needs to get started. I have zero interest in doing it after he's dead. Not my inheritance or my problem and I'm not letting him make it my problem. OK, I may be missing something here, but isn't this exactly why you shouldn't be worried about him doing it now? If he starts the process now, you'll be involved because he'll be spending so much time and energy on it, even though it's not your problem. If you wait until after he dies, you just wave "bye" and walk away...
So what if it doesn't get done and then someone else (not you) has to do it after he's dead?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 2, 2015 7:37:06 GMT -5
I think Zib is going to be stuck with dealing with the business either way. If he's dead, it'll be for the trust/estate dispersal and he's alive, she'll be the one nagging him to deal with it.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 2, 2015 7:41:54 GMT -5
I think Zib is going to be stuck with dealing with the business either way. If he's dead, it'll be for the trust/estate dispersal No reason she has to agree to be in charge of or even involved with the trust/estate dispersal. That's my point.
And if she removes herself from that chore, then there's no need to nag him when he's alive or for either of them to worry about it. Let the beneficiaries worry about it and then deal with it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 2, 2015 8:11:10 GMT -5
I think Zib is going to be stuck with dealing with the business either way. If he's dead, it'll be for the trust/estate dispersal No reason she has to agree to be in charge of or even involved with the trust/estate dispersal. That's my point.
And if she removes herself from that chore, then there's no need to nag him when he's alive or for either of them to worry about it. Let the beneficiaries worry about it and then deal with it.
I agree. If I don't want to be involved in something I just don't get involved. No point nagging the man.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 2, 2015 8:12:20 GMT -5
No offense meant to Zib but I think she'll have a hard time staying out of it.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 2, 2015 10:08:45 GMT -5
I can't stay out of it because there's employees that can be very hurt by it. People I care about and people who would find it hard to get hired elsewhere. He needs to get it handled while he can or at least get it started.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Oct 2, 2015 10:12:32 GMT -5
I would be the same way. I'm always involving myself in things that I don't technically need to be involved in that stress me out. I can't help it.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 2, 2015 10:15:20 GMT -5
I can't stay out of it because there's employees that can be very hurt by it. People I care about and people who would find it hard to get hired elsewhere. He needs to get it handled while he can or at least get it started. Can the employees buy it from him?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 2, 2015 10:28:17 GMT -5
Only one is capable of running it. I just talked to DH about it again. Procrastinating as usual. Maybe in the spring, he says. Whatever.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 2, 2015 11:06:55 GMT -5
As a "doer" I completely understand how irritating it is when someone isn't doing what they are supposed to do and you seem to be the only one who understands and cares what (terrible) thing is going to happen if they don't get off their butt and do it.
One of the hardest things for a "doer" to understand is that there are certain things that just won't get done. And bad things will happen. And unless we want to go crazy, we have to focus on and worry about the things that directly impact us and are in our control... and let the rest go.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Oct 2, 2015 14:22:27 GMT -5
So I know I shouldn't have, but I called the asshat and left him a voicemail about what an asshat he was was. Since his MO was to avoid contact I figured it would make me feel better and I wouldn't hear from him anyway. Now he decides to grow a pair...he called back and tried to say he didn't see his behavior as playing and he was at the time genuinely trying to move on with his life, but yeah he admitted he is back with the wife "even if it isn't all joy and roses." He tried to apologize and did agree that when making decisions that involve other people you should probably communicate the decision to those involved.
I know there are other fish in the sea, my problem is I never seem to find them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2015 12:58:33 GMT -5
Ah, dating... LOL My experience to date - people are just weird... Sometimes I think I will just have pets and use a mechanical replacement for dudes.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Oct 3, 2015 20:19:01 GMT -5
I tried the online dating thing. I got a few emails but no-one except two actually asked me out. One guy I saw for about three weeks then ghosted completely. I didn't care as I know it happens. That one I could see me date the other one there was no chemistry at all.
My friends say I am picky. I am also not interested at all in a long term relationship at this time so I don't really think it's fair to play guys just for a free dinner. Too much effort for me. I cancelled all the online stuff and going to rely on meeting someone (if it happens at all) organically.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Oct 3, 2015 21:40:29 GMT -5
Ah, dating... LOL My experience to date - people are just weird... Sometimes I think I will just have pets and use a mechanical replacement for dudes. this was pretty much my conversation at the bar last night with the gf of the guitar player in my roommate's band. they are engaged, and I've been single for close to a decade now. I've dated, but really have just been single for awhile now. I lived by myself until I sold the albatross townhouse, too....that probably hasn't helped my "dateability" at all. my roommate now is one of my best friends, we don't have a problem calling each other out on our BS. but the thing that keeps eating at me is that I don't NEED a guy to fulfill my life. I WANT a partner in crime to make my life more fun. I have my own shit under control, and I don't need you to pay my bills or take care of me. I want you around to go out to dinner, to go do things. I will pay my own way, I want to enjoy your company. is that too much to ask??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2015 22:05:54 GMT -5
Ah, dating... LOL My experience to date - people are just weird... Sometimes I think I will just have pets and use a mechanical replacement for dudes. this was pretty much my conversation at the bar last night with the gf of the guitar player in my roommate's band. they are engaged, and I've been single for close to a decade now. I've dated, but really have just been single for awhile now. I lived by myself until I sold the albatross townhouse, too....that probably hasn't helped my "dateability" at all. my roommate now is one of my best friends, we don't have a problem calling each other out on our BS. but the thing that keeps eating at me is that I don't NEED a guy to fulfill my life. I WANT a partner in crime to make my life more fun. I have my own shit under control, and I don't need you to pay my bills or take care of me. I want you around to go out to dinner, to go do things. I will pay my own way, I want to enjoy your company. is that too much to ask?? Yes! I seem to find dysfunctional people who want me to "complete them" or just have random sex, or ... Are there no normal dudes around who like to spend time, have some fun, and be naughty - without being completely weird? So far, notsomuch.... I didn't lose 145 pounds and fix my mental health to deal with someone else's crap.
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