TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 7:48:53 GMT -5
We have definitely scaled our lifestyle up to match our incomes. We are on the same boat
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Sept 9, 2015 7:50:09 GMT -5
Wouldn't daycare being done be a given if she stayed home? Maybe not daycare but how about Pre-K or some sort? The stay at home parents I have met send their kids to Pre-k (paid Pre-K) for the socialization part so they are not like a fish out of water once they start kindergarten / 1st grade! Yes, that's what people I know do too. The year I stayed home after DD was born, DS was 3. He went to preschool two days a week for 2.5 hours each day. For the whole calendar year, I think that was 2k. He also played soccer for 45 mins on Wednesdays. That was $10/class or something like that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 7:54:31 GMT -5
Wouldn't daycare being done be a given if she stayed home? Maybe not daycare but how about Pre-K or some sort? The stay at home parents I have met send their kids to Pre-k (paid Pre-K) for the socialization part so they are not like a fish out of water once they start kindergarten / 1st grade! Homeschool!
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 8:05:14 GMT -5
Maybe not daycare but how about Pre-K or some sort? The stay at home parents I have met send their kids to Pre-k (paid Pre-K) for the socialization part so they are not like a fish out of water once they start kindergarten / 1st grade! Yes, that's what people I know do too. The year I stayed home after DD was born, DS was 3. He went to preschool two days a week for 2.5 hours each day. For the whole calendar year, I think that was 2k. He also played soccer for 45 mins on Wednesdays. That was $10/class or something like that. Yep they are 2-3 days a week here and in 4 hours increments . You can either do mornings or evenings... My neighbor is sending their son Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 8:06:14 GMT -5
Maybe not daycare but how about Pre-K or some sort? The stay at home parents I have met send their kids to Pre-k (paid Pre-K) for the socialization part so they are not like a fish out of water once they start kindergarten / 1st grade! Homeschool! How do they socialize with other kids if they are homeschooled?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 9, 2015 8:17:46 GMT -5
How do they socialize with other kids if they are homeschooled? Yes, that IS a problem. Between his chess, music, swimming, art and Lego classes my kid hardly sees anyone at all. And of course, there are never any homeschooling meet ups at any parks, beach, museums, etc. I had to sit down last month and seriously consider what to pick for them this year bc there was so much to choose from.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 8:21:53 GMT -5
How do they socialize with other kids if they are homeschooled? Yeah, I can't imagine where I would be without all the bullying, teasing and cliques of school.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 8:26:14 GMT -5
How do they socialize with other kids if they are homeschooled? Yes, that IS a problem. Between his chess, music, swimming, art and Lego classes my kid hardly sees anyone at all. And of course, there are never any homeschooling meet ups at any parks, beach, museums, etc. I had to sit down last month and seriously consider what to pick for them this year bc there was so much to choose from. So you signed up for activities where your kids socialize with other kids... No different than what yogi and I said. Are they free? We are talking about cutting costs, someone suggested homeschooling at a way to cut costs. The activities you listed: You pay for them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 8:27:56 GMT -5
Yes, that IS a problem. Between his chess, music, swimming, art and Lego classes my kid hardly sees anyone at all. And of course, there are never any homeschooling meet ups at any parks, beach, museums, etc. I had to sit down last month and seriously consider what to pick for them this year bc there was so much to choose from. So you signed up for activities where your kids socialize with other kids... No different than what yogi and I said. Are they free? We are talking about cutting costs, someone suggested homeschooling at a way to cut costs. The activities you listed: You pay for them. I didn't suggest homeschooling as a way to cut costs. I suggested homeschooling because you were worried that your kid that didn't have preschool would be socially inept and not able to handle kindergarten.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 8:31:15 GMT -5
There are lots of ways for a SAHP to socialize a 3 or 4 year old child that are free or nearly free. So, if preschool is not in the budget, they'll be fine come Kindy.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 9, 2015 8:38:53 GMT -5
Yes, that IS a problem. Between his chess, music, swimming, art and Lego classes my kid hardly sees anyone at all. And of course, there are never any homeschooling meet ups at any parks, beach, museums, etc. I had to sit down last month and seriously consider what to pick for them this year bc there was so much to choose from. So you signed up for activities where your kids socialize with other kids... No different than what yogi and I said. Are they free? We are talking about cutting costs, someone suggested homeschooling at a way to cut costs. The activities you listed: You pay for them. Actually, there are a lot of activities that are free. There are many co-ops and get-togethers that will only cost you gas in the car to get there. I could certainly choose any of them if I wanted to. I didn't sign up my kid to socialize, I signed him up bc he is interested in certain things and I followed his interests. Your point was that homeschooling precludes socialization and that is just 100% false. I have to get my kid to one of his activities, so I don't have time to get on my soap box, but....there are many reasons not to homeschool. Lack of "socialization" is just not one of them.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Sept 9, 2015 8:39:53 GMT -5
Yes, parks and splash pads are free. Our library has a lot of free stuff during the day, story time one day and another day an hour or so for making crafts. Home Depot has something the first Saturday of every month for kids to build a project (or they used to, we did this once). Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head and I'm not even searching for free things to do.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Sept 9, 2015 8:44:37 GMT -5
There are lots of ways for a SAHP to socialize a 3 or 4 year old child that are free or nearly free. So, if preschool is not in the budget, they'll be fine come Kindy. Yup. Just like spending more time comparison shopping for groceries or browsing the thrift store for good deals, it just takes more time and effort to find those things.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 9, 2015 8:46:03 GMT -5
Yes, parks and splash pads are free. Our library has a lot of free stuff during the day, story time one day and another day an hour or so for making crafts. Home Depot has something the first Saturday of every month for kids to build a project (or they used to, we did this once). Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head and I'm not even searching for free things to do. Many museums are having homeschool classes for like $5/class per kid. There are also a lot of museums that are free a certain day of the week. And for other days you can get library passes to various museums and zoo. There is also a movie theater that has free showings for the kids.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Sept 9, 2015 8:49:58 GMT -5
What?! Free movies! Where?
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 9, 2015 10:01:01 GMT -5
This is exactly why people are concerned this post is about you. The above is the #1 reason it'll be harder for you than others. Because I want an Oreo cookie that is ~$3? Seriously who here lives the same way they did when they were in college? Or just starting out? Isn't your life somewhat more comfortable? Don't you have things now that you didn't have 10-15-20 years ago? Aren't you a tad bit more spoiled by the good life? I am the only one honest enough to admit it, everyone is acting as if it is pretentious to say it. Yes if my wife lost her job tomorrow we would cut everything we needed to, what other choice would we have? We would survive and make it... But if I do not have to why should I deny myself the simple pleasures in life that I enjoy: eating Oreo cookies, wiping my butt with the good toilet paper. None of you upgraded your lifestyle? Everyday expenses? I get it: if you keep your fixed expenses low you will be golden! Save and you will be able to weather bad times! But seriously everyone giving me a lecture because I feel that I deserve and yes I said I DESERVE or I EARNED the right to buy myself Oreo cookies if I want them is BULLSHIT! And yes it is possible to start a thread on YM that is not about ME or my personal Life. I just wanted ideas or hear about people experience that I have gone through it and how they managed. Of course we upgraded and all the jazz! But that's because we have *2* incomes! If I was back down to one, yes, I'd be putting down the oreos. You betcha. And yes, the idea of "deserving" oreos is a problem. I guess you just don't see it but most of us here agree.... And you know darn well you have a history of posting about a "friend's" hypothetical situation and 2 weeks later it turns out to be you. You can't blame us for calling it as we see it. I don't think it's a bad idea to think about this situation and mull it over in your mind. I'm guessing you don't like what we're saying. Which is understandable. I wouldn't want to put down the oreos, either.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 9, 2015 10:03:14 GMT -5
And hell, I'm probably one of the WORST examples of lifestyle creep on the board. I have a billion dollar house and a zillion dollar daycare. But I'm OK with that. Someday we'll sell the house and laugh all the way to the bank (I hope) and someday my daughter will support herself (I hope). So these are temporary lifestyle changes in my mind.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Sept 9, 2015 10:04:24 GMT -5
Maybe not daycare but how about Pre-K or some sort? The stay at home parents I have met send their kids to Pre-k (paid Pre-K) for the socialization part so they are not like a fish out of water once they start kindergarten / 1st grade! Homeschool! That would have taken care of the need for daycare in my case! I probably would have gotten a permanent home and three squares out of the deal as well, not everyone is cut out for homeschooling and I certainly lack the patience for it
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 11:42:33 GMT -5
Because I want an Oreo cookie that is ~$3? Seriously who here lives the same way they did when they were in college? Or just starting out? Isn't your life somewhat more comfortable? Don't you have things now that you didn't have 10-15-20 years ago? Aren't you a tad bit more spoiled by the good life? I am the only one honest enough to admit it, everyone is acting as if it is pretentious to say it. Yes if my wife lost her job tomorrow we would cut everything we needed to, what other choice would we have? We would survive and make it... But if I do not have to why should I deny myself the simple pleasures in life that I enjoy: eating Oreo cookies, wiping my butt with the good toilet paper. None of you upgraded your lifestyle? Everyday expenses? I get it: if you keep your fixed expenses low you will be golden! Save and you will be able to weather bad times! But seriously everyone giving me a lecture because I feel that I deserve and yes I said I DESERVE or I EARNED the right to buy myself Oreo cookies if I want them is BULLSHIT! And yes it is possible to start a thread on YM that is not about ME or my personal Life. I just wanted ideas or hear about people experience that I have gone through it and how they managed. Of course we upgraded and all the jazz! But that's because we have *2* incomes! If I was back down to one, yes, I'd be putting down the oreos. You betcha. And yes, the idea of "deserving" oreos is a problem. I guess you just don't see it but most of us here agree.... And you know darn well you have a history of posting about a "friend's" hypothetical situation and 2 weeks later it turns out to be you. You can't blame us for calling it as we see it. I don't think it's a bad idea to think about this situation and mull it over in your mind. I'm guessing you don't like what we're saying. Which is understandable. I wouldn't want to put down the oreos, either. Believe me, if my wife or I was losing our jobs I would not be calmly posting a thread about it. I would be freaking out and hyperventilating into a bag trying not to pass out! *posting while snacking on some Oreo cookies*
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 9, 2015 12:16:14 GMT -5
Of course we upgraded and all the jazz! But that's because we have *2* incomes! If I was back down to one, yes, I'd be putting down the oreos. You betcha. And yes, the idea of "deserving" oreos is a problem. I guess you just don't see it but most of us here agree.... And you know darn well you have a history of posting about a "friend's" hypothetical situation and 2 weeks later it turns out to be you. You can't blame us for calling it as we see it. I don't think it's a bad idea to think about this situation and mull it over in your mind. I'm guessing you don't like what we're saying. Which is understandable. I wouldn't want to put down the oreos, either. Believe me, if my wife or I was losing our jobs I would not be calmly posting a thread about it. I would be freaking out and hyperventilating into a bag trying not to pass out! *posting while snacking on some Oreo cookies* Hey, that empty Oreo cookie bag can be recycled for hyperventilation, yanno.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 12:22:14 GMT -5
Lets look at this from another angle. Oreo cookies are bad for you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 12:30:45 GMT -5
I honestly don't think in terms of I earned it or I deserve it. It's always in terms of can I afford it and what am I trading it for, because I can't buy everything I want so something else won't be bought. I actually squirm when other people say things like "you deserve that" or "you earned it". I feel like it's tempting the Gods to take it back.
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quince
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Post by quince on Sept 9, 2015 14:22:32 GMT -5
I don't think there is a problem with buying what you want. I agree with others that it is the "I deserve it" phrase that is problematic.
"I can afford it" and "I deserve it" are two different things. "I can afford it" implies that when you can't, you won't buy it anymore. "I deserve it" implies that you won't pay attention to your circumstances when making a buy decision, unless you literally have no access to cash or credit and are thus physically unable to buy it.
We have prioritized what we would give up LAST in the event of severe cutbacks (high speed internet.)
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 15:33:12 GMT -5
Yep this is YM...
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 9, 2015 15:41:55 GMT -5
It's like you don't even know us...
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 9, 2015 15:42:46 GMT -5
Nope, that's reality. When you can only afford so much, sometimes those $3 Oreos come out of the cart because you don't NEED them as much as you actually do NEED something else. I'm with the hate on the "I deserve" this or that. You only hear it from 2 groups of people. Those who can actually afford to utter the phrase and people like my in laws who are perpetually on food stamps and medicaid and always too broke to do anything yet they do more junk than I do because they also deserve to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 15:47:55 GMT -5
I hate the "I deserve" line too. More because I know people that work their fingers to the bone and can't afford things that they apparently deserve just due to working hard.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 9, 2015 15:49:13 GMT -5
I hate the "I deserve" line too. More because I know people that work their fingers to the bone and can't afford things that they apparently deserve just due to working hard. That goes without saying but most of those types are too busy working to actually utter the phrase.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 15:55:26 GMT -5
It's like you don't even know us... I know right
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 9, 2015 16:05:23 GMT -5
Nope, that's reality. When you can only afford so much, sometimes those $3 Oreos come out of the cart because you don't NEED them as much as you actually do NEED something else. I'm with the hate on the "I deserve" this or that. You only hear it from 2 groups of people. Those who can actually afford to utter the phrase and people like my in laws who are perpetually on food stamps and medicaid and always too broke to do anything yet they do more junk than I do because they also deserve to. And this is MY reality... Wether I use I can afford, I deserve, I earned... The fact remain the same. I can afford to cover all my needs and some of my wants... Part of that list of wants are OREO cookies that I can afford and that I feel I deserve ... And quite honestly I have earned the right to buy them. *Flame away*
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