Going from 2 incomes to 1 - how did you adjust?

[MJ2.0]

I believe everyone deserves basic food, drinkable water, basic shelter, and basic clothing. Anything beyond that is earned.

[movingforward]

Sept 10, 2015 11:45:21 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I believe everyone deserves basic food, drinkable water, basic shelter, and basic clothing. Anything beyond that is earned.

Agreed and I will add adequate healthcare to that list

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 10, 2015 11:41:07 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Sept 10, 2015 11:39:30 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

And here I thought runners ran so they could drink more booze. 

Oh that's a given! My Thursday run club starts and ends at a brewery. :-)

<<Wants to sign up and run with Cookies. And beer.>>

[flamingo]

Sept 10, 2015 10:57:22 GMT -5 movingforward said:

When I have eaten well and exercised all week I think I deserve a piece of cheesecake on Saturday.  If anyone wants to get their undies in a bunch over that then feel free. 
 

This phrase is running through my head right now: I deserve a glass of wine with friends after work tonight because I got up at the ass crack of dawn to get my 5 mile run in   (If the wine bar sells cheesecake, I'm totally adding that on to my tab!)

In reality, I should be thinking how I earned it, but come on, regardless of which phrase/word I use, I'm still having that glass of wine. (in downtown Chicago where it will cost me an arm and leg  ). You can argue semantics all day long, but Carl's been around long enough, and posts enough, that I didn't read his post as he feels entitled to anything. Just that he works hard and that's what he wants to spend his money on.

[sarcasticgirl]

Sept 10, 2015 11:45:21 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I believe everyone deserves basic food, drinkable water, basic shelter, and basic clothing. Anything beyond that is earned.

Well... Maybe not EVERYONE...

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using proboards

[zibazinski]

Carl, it's your fault if we go to YM hell.

[zibazinski]

Sept 10, 2015 11:07:13 GMT -5 garion2003 said:

Sept 9, 2015 18:32:32 GMT -5 quince said:

I think saying "I deserve to spend my disposable income how I want" is TOTALLY FINE. It's "I deserve this thing whether or not I have disposable income" that is problematic.

I thought the Oreos thing is kind of funny: We have sufficient, yet when I was tempted by Oreos in the grocery store last week, I grabbed the store brand instead- $1.00 cheaper, and since I don't have a brand preference, silly not to switch.

If you have a brand preference and the money, of course buy the damned oreos. Why would you waste the calories on sugar/lard that isn't to your taste? 

I vaguely recall Carl not planning on giving up his workouts when he has kids and all the parents making "you'll see..." comments.   He might have to choose between workouts or oreos! 

This is awesome. And I think that gets to the heart of the problem.

The latter mentality is what leads people to live above their means, go into credit card debt, not have any savings for an EF, etc.

I know a family where the parents and the oldest son work at Wal Mart at basically entry level jobs. The father feels he deserves his paycheck and spend it on stuff he 'deserves'. He does not contribute to the family expenses, like rent, food, utilities etc, at least not on a regular basis. It depends on how 'deserving' he felt that week I guess.

The son uses most or all of his paycheck to cover things like rent and groceries, and then on top of that they have to choose which other bills to pay, so they are constantly being in a cycle of having their phones or their electric being turned off.

Yup, that's a husband who needs to be shown the door.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 10, 2015 11:24:33 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Sept 10, 2015 11:15:47 GMT -5 movingforward said:

He never said that.  He just said he earned a good living and feels like he deserves Oreo cookies.  Did I miss where he said he deserved certain things no matter his salary?  Essentially, I am just reading it as he feels like he has enough money to buy certain things so he does.  I guess it is all up to interpretation. 

I just feel like people are reading a little too much into his post and are way to focused on the word "deserves."  I don't think he means it the way other people are interpreting it but I could be wrong.

As one of the "people" I never specifically said CARL was the problem I had, I said I agreed with the "I deserve" hate.

Hard not to hate on that phrase when the people you hear it from are the ones YM wants to lynch. Food stamp/medicaid recieving, smoking 2 packs and day, barely working, living with the parents, can't be bothered to grow up even though I have a few kids kind of people. 

Dayum....you know my ex-SIL AND her fourth husband! I mean, you literally described them perfectly! But the drinking...you forgot the cheap six pack of beer a night habit.

[Chocolate Lover]

Sept 10, 2015 14:33:33 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Sept 10, 2015 11:24:33 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

As one of the "people" I never specifically said CARL was the problem I had, I said I agreed with the "I deserve" hate.

Hard not to hate on that phrase when the people you hear it from are the ones YM wants to lynch. Food stamp/medicaid recieving, smoking 2 packs and day, barely working, living with the parents, can't be bothered to grow up even though I have a few kids kind of people. 

Dayum....you know my ex-SIL AND her fourth husband! I mean, you literally described them perfectly! But the drinking...you forgot the cheap six pack of beer a night habit.

Their dad is an alcoholic, most of them don't drink at all. But they all smoke like chimneys!

[murphath]

Carl,
I would think working in a grocery store as a manager, you would have the inside track on when your favorite items are going to be on sale!

I'd be like the lady you observed.  Not because I can't afford to purchase whatever I want, I just hate paying full price.  I'm always trying to get the cost lower--especially on groceries.  People may scoff at that .50 Charmin coupon, but to me that is the same as 2 quarters in my pocket.  Multiply that by xxxx and the savings add up.  Carl mentioned in an earlier thread that his family of 3 spends between $800-$1000 per month on food (around $333 per person).  We're a family of two now and spend @ $250 per month; or $125 per person.  That's a $208 per person difference.  Of course, we are older and eat less--no more oreos in our cupboard--just the occasional ice cream for dessert.  We've never been big junk food eaters.

 I'm not picking on Carl--he's been incredibly forthcoming on his expenses.  The fact is, most people spend outrageous amounts at the grocery store when, if you shop sales, use coupons, the store's loyalty program (called Just 4 You at Safeway here in NorCal), you can save a ton;and eat well:  fresh fruit/veggies; fish, chicken, yogurt, etc.  

I've earned and deserve everything I've got---just never paid full price!

[mojothehelpermonkey]

Sept 10, 2015 13:59:40 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Sept 10, 2015 11:07:13 GMT -5 garion2003 said:

This is awesome. And I think that gets to the heart of the problem.

The latter mentality is what leads people to live above their means, go into credit card debt, not have any savings for an EF, etc.

I know a family where the parents and the oldest son work at Wal Mart at basically entry level jobs. The father feels he deserves his paycheck and spend it on stuff he 'deserves'. He does not contribute to the family expenses, like rent, food, utilities etc, at least not on a regular basis. It depends on how 'deserving' he felt that week I guess.

The son uses most or all of his paycheck to cover things like rent and groceries, and then on top of that they have to choose which other bills to pay, so they are constantly being in a cycle of having their phones or their electric being turned off.

Yup, that's a husband who needs to be shown the door.

I skimmed through the post the first time and thought it was the son who wasn't helping with the bills. I still thought he should be helping out his parents if he is living at home and utilities are getting shut off. Then I reread it and saw that it was the husband/father who was not helping out.

[Angel!]

Sept 7, 2015 14:45:10 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Sept 7, 2015 14:30:21 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

Exactly.  Nothing can be sacred or off limits when you don't have enough.

Not even considering my wife here but just ME... I have a hard time coming to that point.

Ex: today a lady was shopping with her husband and their child. She had he coupons, her smart phone, the ad and a calculator .

Every purchase was carefully calculated and items were not purchased if not on the list or not on sale.

I freaking work hard damnit for my money, if I want to buy freaking Oreo cookies I am going to buy Oreo cookies wether on sale or not or on the list or not.

I know sometimes you are forced into that situation (and others it is a choice); but working in a grocery store and seeing folks from different walks of life: one of the simple pleasures I do enjoy (and maybe take for granted) is buying what I want when I want it , not price comparing we want Barilla, Ragu, Tide, Charming Soft, wether on sale or not.

And yes I know that mindset would need to change if we were the one facing a 40% paycut essentially ; but this is how I feel right now and I being honest about it.

You do what you have to do.  If watching every single dollar means you don't lose the house, then that is what you do.

This post hit close to home because this was me for years & years.  I just mentioned to my neighbor the other day that for the first time in probably 6 years I don't know what a good price for ground beef is right now.  If I want ground beef I just buy it & even splurge for the 93%.  I use to know the good prices on everything & when to stock up, what TP was the cheapest per square foot, would only buy marked down meats, etc.  I use to know how to get tons of free stuff from walgreens.  I would bring ads to walmart to price-match sales.  I use to spend tons of time making money online.  I didn't even have Netflix for years because the $8/month or whatever it costs was unaffordable IMO.  Little to nothing was put into my 401k.  I took out 0% CC advances to cover me when I wasn't able to fully pay the CC when it was due.  You still pick & choose your priorities, like I never gave up my cell phone with good service while I went without home phone or cable.  But, at the end of the day you make the sacrifices you have too.  Because at some point reality slaps you in the face & you realize if you don't, what you are doing isn't sustainable & you will be screwed.

ETA - I think the ability to make it work has a lot to do with the lifestyle before the cut.  If you are already maxed out & barely making ends meet, then you are screwed.  If you bought an affordable home, no car loans, lots of savings, then it is much easier.

[Angel!]

Sept 8, 2015 22:07:47 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Sept 8, 2015 10:05:04 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

This is exactly why people are concerned this post is about you. The above is the #1 reason it'll be harder for you than others.

Because I want an Oreo cookie that is ~$3?

Seriously who here lives the same way they did when they were in college? Or just starting out?

Isn't your life somewhat more comfortable? Don't you have things now that you didn't have 10-15-20 years ago? Aren't you a tad bit more spoiled by the good life?

I am the only one honest enough to admit it, everyone is acting as if it is pretentious to say it. Yes if my wife lost her job tomorrow we would cut everything we needed to, what other choice would we have? We would survive and make it...

But if I do not have to why should I deny myself the simple pleasures in life that I enjoy: eating Oreo cookies, wiping my butt with the good toilet paper.

None of you upgraded your lifestyle? Everyday expenses?

I get it: if you keep your fixed expenses low you will be golden! Save and you will be able to weather bad times!

But seriously everyone giving me a lecture because I feel that I deserve and yes I said I DESERVE or I EARNED the right to buy myself Oreo cookies if I want them is BULLSHIT!

And yes it is possible to start a thread on YM that is not about ME or my personal
Life. I just wanted ideas or hear about people experience that I have gone through it and how they managed.

  Yes, I have more things - 3 kids.  While I earn a hell of a lot more money I am way broker than I ever was in college or in the few years after.  Kids need to eat, they need diapers, daycare is now ONLY $1550/month now that 2 are in school full time.  I vaguely remember a time when I had cable & internet & a home phone & a cell phone.  When I didn't care what groceries cost & bought whatever I wanted.  When if I wanted a new gadget, I just went and bought it.  When I could go out to eat or even on a vacation whenever I chose.  When I bought a new car without a thought of what I would end up paying for gas, insurance, or registration. 

In some ways I am more broke by choice, back then I also didn't think about EFs, life insurance, or retirement.  I didn't think about long-term consequences of my decisions.  But, mostly I'm just way more broke because all my spending goes towards necessities for my kids.

[shelby]

I am wondering for those on this board....if things got very very tight would you consider cutting internet too? I am just thinking it is almost a need in this day and age like a land line was back in the day. I do talk to people all the time for my job that are so poor they do not have a computer and cannot afford internet but they probably never could and wouldn't know how to use it anyways. But after depending on it for so long would anyone be able to give it up?

[MJ2.0]

I think internet is almost a need nowadays. You can have a phone and make VoIP calls without a cell plan as long as you have WiFi access. So much communication is email and text now - both of which you can do without a phone.

[Angel!]

Internet would be one of my absolute last cuts. Right before cell phone. If I was unemployed I think I would go into debt before cutting internet because that is how you find jobs.

[8 Bit WWBG]

Need/want/luxury, I don't care WHAT you call it.  I'd probably go into debt to keep internet.  Not just for personal sanity, but for marital harmony.  For the equivalent of $2/day, DW and I get an escape.  I'd hate to be turning that frustration at each other.

[muttleynfelix]

Sept 12, 2015 9:22:56 GMT -5 shelby said:

I am wondering for those on this board....if things got very very tight would you consider cutting internet too? I am just thinking it is almost a need in this day and age like a land line was back in the day. I do talk to people all the time for my job that are so poor they do not have a computer and cannot afford internet but they probably never could and wouldn't know how to use it anyways. But after depending on it for so long would anyone be able to give it up?

We didn't get our internet set up until a month after we moved. It was nearly a disaster. I was trying to avoid doing personal stuff on my work computer and trying to close on out house and without internet, I had to just bite the bullet and do it at work because I was not getting information to my banker in time and transfer funds. My emails on my 3G would not always go through. It was rough. I was losing my mind and finally had to beg my husband to take care of it.

Moral of the story, internet and cell phone are up there with necessities for me.

[Deleted]

Sept 12, 2015 9:22:56 GMT -5 shelby said:

I am wondering for those on this board....if things got very very tight would you consider cutting internet too? I am just thinking it is almost a need in this day and age like a land line was back in the day. I do talk to people all the time for my job that are so poor they do not have a computer and cannot afford internet but they probably never could and wouldn't know how to use it anyways. But after depending on it for so long would anyone be able to give it up?

I could give up internet at home. I can get this site and one or two others I like on my phone and I have a computer at work for any extra surfing I just can't live without. Right now I am looking at giving up cable and just using internet for netflix and the few shows I like to follow close to real time. I just need to learn how that system works.

[Jaguar]

I gave up cable last January and I should have gave it up sooner. It was a good thing to give up. Now internet, no damn way am I giving up on that. I didn't have internet until June 2006 and for me that's a need. I never got another cat either after my Elmo died in September 2010. So I've cut back on both cable and pets.

[Deleted]

I sometimes consider cutting internet out.  Not so much for the money savings, but, I think I would be a way more productive person without it.  I can waste a lot of time on the boards and watching Netflix and I have so much that I should be doing instead.  I'm sitting on a computer all day at work and if I have my phone for email when I'm not at work, I'd be fine.  However, now my 13 year old is getting to the age where they are required to do work online after school, so he kind of does need it.  I should have pulled the plug on it for the Summer when he didn't, I might have actually got my basement and barn cleaned up and organized.

[Deleted]

Where I live, so many of my neighbors (actually most) don't have internet and are doing fine, so I kind of struggle with the idea that it's truly a need.  I think a lot of people are just justifying an addiction.

[swamp]

DH and I both work fro home and need Internet.  

Our wireless router git fried in a storm a few days ago. Those 3 hours it took to replace it were torturous. 

[Lizard Queen]

I could see giving up internet if you have one of those big data plans on your smart phone, and can do a mobile hot spot through your phone.  Around me, there are also a lot of fast food and coffee shops that offer free wireless.  Plus, there's also the library if you don't mind hanging out with the homeless people.

[Deleted]

I use:

$50 local wireless internet (necessary since I work online)
$30 StraightTalk ghetto phone with a keyboard.
Netflix and Hulu. 

No home phone, no cable available here, no satelite.

The only bills I pay each month other than those above are car insurance and the power bill.

I've been paying some debt/repairs so groceries around $500 per month. That's for me, 21 DS, 23 DS, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and 4 chickens. Oh, and Iggy.

We rarely eat fast food, and DS or I cook most meals from scratch.

[MJ2.0]

Sept 13, 2015 8:32:06 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Where I live, so many of my neighbors (actually most) don't have internet and are doing fine, so I kind of struggle with the idea that it's truly a need.  I think a lot of people are just justifying an addiction.

Pretty much all the job hunting I've done in the past 8-10 years has been online. And ordering things through Amazon.com has definitely been cheaper at times than physically going from store to store to check prices. Paying bills online basically eliminated the need for stamps and going to the post office. I guess if you live out in the sticks you're used to doing things the old fashioned way.

[Value Buy]

LOL at this thread.

I think Carl has become horror of horrors for many people here, a closet Republican.

And since Nabisco killed the Chicago Oreo plant and moved production to Mexico, everyone should be boycotting Oreos. 

[Deleted]

Sept 13, 2015 11:15:47 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Sept 13, 2015 8:32:06 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Where I live, so many of my neighbors (actually most) don't have internet and are doing fine, so I kind of struggle with the idea that it's truly a need.  I think a lot of people are just justifying an addiction.

Pretty much all the job hunting I've done in the past 8-10 years has been online. And ordering things through Amazon.com has definitely been cheaper at times than physically going from store to store to check prices. Paying bills online basically eliminated the need for stamps and going to the post office. I guess if you live out in the sticks you're used to doing things the old fashioned way.

I don't know.  Those things still say convenience to me, not need.  Out here in the backwoods we have a place called the workforce center where people go when they're looking for jobs.  There are tons of resources there including a room full of computers with internet access that you can sit at all day.  I haven't been job hunting since pre-internet, but whenever my ex was out of a job (often) that's where he would go even though we had internet at home.  He said it was easier to focus there and the people there were very helpful.   Bill paying online is nice, but I do all that at work or on my phone and not at home anyhow.  I have everything on autopay to my credit card so I just have to spend a couple minutes once a month to pay that.  Shopping, meh.  I don't do much of that, but again, still have my work computer and phone. 

I just think unless you use your internet for your job or are hooked up to some medical devices that are monitored remotely, NEED is a stretch.  Most people probably waste more time on the internet than they save in shopping trips.  My 23 year old neighbor has never had internet his entire life.  When he isn't working his full time job as a milk truck driver or farming the land he shares with his parents is building his own house.  Building his own house from the ground up and paying for it with cash as he goes.  I do feel lazy as hell around some of the people around here.  Here it is almost noon and besides going on a 5 mile walk and folding a couple loads of laundry I haven't done shit but read boards and Facebook.

[Deleted]

I agree MPL.....one can waste a lot of time on the internet....and I try not to. I have too many things between 2 properties (future retirement country place on 3 acres, 90 min. from our during-the-week-place)

Usually, I get online and not 10 min. later, either dh, my cell or something else pops up that needs my attention, so it ends up that I only get on in the evenings, and by then I'm usually so wiped (coupled w/the fact that reading makes me tired after a full day..).and there ya have it....limited interaction/time online.

Sometimes I just pick a day one day a week where I 'let' myself play on the internet. That keeps the guilty's away...lol.

[zibazinski]

Sept 13, 2015 11:33:11 GMT -5 Value Buy said:

LOL at this thread.

I think Carl has become horror of horrors for many people here, a closet Republican.

And since Nabisco killed the Chicago Oreo plant and moved production to Mexico, everyone should be boycotting Oreos. 

I boycott Hershey for the same reason. That, and the fact that their chocolate now tastes like nothing good.