Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Jul 18, 2015 13:53:09 GMT -5
Oh my god, I have two kids...and I'm afraid to read this.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 18, 2015 13:59:59 GMT -5
I can't see hardly any univeristy with only 5k in tuition and 5k for room and board?About what my nephew pays..... www.campusexplorer.com/college-advice-tips/6E944F9F/10-Colleges-Under-10K-a-Year/The hosts were definitely focused on making fun/making it into a "train wreck" rather than helping her out and giving her the info she could most use.I know that those in this age range can come off as very unsympathetic when presenting their case - even when their cases are quite good! - but I found her to be very likable - again, based on 2 minutes. Certainly not entitled at all, but worried, embarrassed, desperate.You need to listen a bit more.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 18, 2015 14:02:16 GMT -5
They were mostly mocking her. They also took calls from people basically like on here to mock her. People did say they got "loans" that allowed to to start paying after college but no one actually used the word Student Loan. They also told her she had to go to this specific credit union and talk to this person, not online, and fill out the forms she gives you. The question the CU woman kept asking is what collaterol she had. Clearly her parents knew she didn't have any!It sounds like she is at an impasse with her parents. Her parents are willing to help her if she gets a job to help pay them back. The loan is structured for minimal payments while in school and they increase after 12 months. So she's willing to get a job, and understands that they were trying to teach them a lesson. But she thinks that they need to learn that this is going to have such a negative effect on her grades and her as a person (her words, not mine). Start listening to the 4th clip around 6 minutes in and she really does sound like a brat. Listen to this clip, even though they are busting on her a bit, they really are invested in helping her learn how to become an adult. The last clip is the only one I listed to fully. This isn't going to work out for her. In my mind her parents want it that way. The only way for her to get that loan is to get a job. Getting a job at school from home is almost impossible right now. So she won't be able to get that loan to start school in the fall. The only way to get a federal student loan would be for her parents to fill out the FAFSA. She did sound upset but she also seems to have tried to figure out a way to make this work. They did seem happy about that on the radio but they kept putting people on the air to bash her after that. So how invested are they really? She is screwed totally and I think at this point she knows it. If the people who are supposed to be helping me were actually setting me up so I couldn't win I would act bratty too.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 18, 2015 15:55:01 GMT -5
Makes me wonder if the parents are pissed instead of grateful that grandparents left her 90k instead of them?
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Jul 18, 2015 19:10:19 GMT -5
We only have the princess' young lady's side of the story. Her parents may be the unfeeling ogres they are portrayed to be, or they may have tried over the 3 years she was pissing her money away having educational experiences to get her to budget and conserve her money so she would not run out before she got her degree. When she finally woke up to the fact that she had dug herself into a hole, that may just have been the last straw. We just don't know. They may very well have laughed at her and set her up to fail at getting a loan from the credit union because everything else they tried to get her to rein in her spending had failed or fallen on deaf ears and they hoped some tough love might work. Or they might just be done trying to help her but hoped something might wake her up. Or she could have been lying about the whole loan application experience. Again, we just don't know.
I also wondered whether they resented the bequest, though again, we don't know the people involved. They may just be asshats, but with only one side of the story, told by someone who is on the whole does not evoke much sympathy, we can only speculate.
She's nearly done with her degree and only needs to figure out how to make up a part of her final year's expenses, so I think her situation is not nearly as dire as she is making it out to be. She needs to get over herself and get a job, even an embarrassing on in the cafeteria, and not be such a hothouse flower. People have worked full-time and attended college full-time for years on end and apparently did not suffer the extremely adverse outcome she seems to expect she will suffer doing it for only one year. Big baby.
I find it very hard to dredge up much sympathy for her at all. She's an idiot and needs to stop being an idiot and figure out how to solve her own problem. Maybe that's what her parents are hoping she will do.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 18, 2015 19:11:35 GMT -5
Unless she acted like a douche canoe because she didn't have to answer to her parents for anything since she was "on her own." Now they're laughing because karma baby.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Jul 18, 2015 21:27:35 GMT -5
Makes me wonder if the parents are pissed instead of grateful that grandparents left her 90k instead of them?
I doubt this. This whole situation is why I won't give funds to my g-dtr to put away for g-g-dtr without strings. There is no way under the sun I would give that kind of money to an 18 yr old to do with as chosen.
My guess is the parents tried to guide her and it fell on deaf ears. Now she is paying the piper and actually is having an easy time of it. Life lesson learned.
Why should the parents give up some of their retirement money to pay for her last year? Daughter was willing to pay back $10K over 3 years without interest. Hmmmmmmmm, how was she going to do that without a job?
Wonder what her major is?
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Mardi Gras Audrey
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Jul 18, 2015 21:28:43 GMT -5
Exactly what is the responsibility of this 22 year old young adult? Don't you think that maybe SHE should have gone to her school's financial aid office and asked what she needs to do? Up until now, the woman had the $$ to pay for college, so she didn't need to jump through the hoops that most college students (AND their parents) do. Why do you presume to know that the parents even know what an FAFSA is? Neither of my parents went to college and I was the one who needed to tell them about it. There are some kids whose parents have not jumped through college hoops themselves, so are as naive to the process as their kids. Like you said it was a sensationalized article for clicking, don't you think that this young adult was trying to make herself look as good as she could and put her parents as the monsters? After all, they won't give her their retirement for her education and they <gasp> expect her to actually try to figure this out by herself. Also like I said, I suspect that there is a middle ground here, where the daughter was asked to do the leg work and she didn't do it. But you won't consider this as an option. And finally, why do you not see that the 22 year old young adult needs to take some responsibility for this? $90K/4 years is $22,500/year. This is basic math that a 4th grader could do. If you subtract $20,000 tuition bill, it doesn't take rocket science (or a math major) to see that you have $2,500 to spend on incidentals - or roughly $200/mo. Considering as a working adult, I usually gave myself $30/week for spending money, this is not unreasonable. Again - did she say they should cash out the retirement for her - or only listed it as evidence that they are ok financially as a counter to "they can't help her"? I have already stated that I don't think she was suggesting this at all so <gasp> why is being repeated again as if she d What difference does their retirement balance make? They made the money, it is their's. Not hers. PERIOD. They could have hundreds of millions and at the end of the day, she isn't entitled to a dime of it because she didn't earn it. If they want to be nice and help her, great. She should be appreciative of what she gets (Hell, getting $90k is a lot better than what most students get). The thing that fascinates me about these discussions is that this is an ADULT. She is 22. She is not 12, 15 or 3. She is supposed to be a grown up. I find the dichotomy between what is expected from people who go to college after high school and those who don't fascinating. Those who don't go to college are expected to get a job and support themselves. But those who go to college are babied until graduation? Aren't those who go to college from HS usually the more responsible and smarter ones? Why do we expect less of them that those who failed out of HS or just graduated? What would we expect a 22 year old who HADNT been to college to do? Would we say mom and dad should support them for a few more years because they are "just a kid" or would we say they should get off their bum and get a job?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2015 21:29:31 GMT -5
I don't think she blew through 90K, since she did pay for 3 years of school, in addition to the ill-advised Europe trip . Personally I wouldn't let my DD dangle in the wind, even if she did behave like a douche canoe. Kids make mistakes and I can see much worse outcomes for an 18 year old with 90K, than being short 10K for their last year.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2015 22:22:33 GMT -5
Just for the record there is a link in the article to hear the calls on that radio show's website. It is crazy long and really not what I thought it would be. I didn't listen to it all but did hear all the parts that are being discussed here. Personally I'm blaming all of you for forcing me to listen to that. A lot of the hyperbole mentioned here was actually the hosts trying to be funny. I'm shocked! The parts that got me was that she did sound entitled but also that her parents sounded like asses. She did go to her parents and told them what happened and her dad's reaction was to laugh at her. Then mom and dad told her to go to the credit union and get a loan. Not a student loan but a regular personal loan. She really didn't seem to understand what a Student loan was and her parents specifically told her to walk into that credit union that mom and dad have always banked at and talk to so and so and get one of these personal loans. My gut again says so and so was told what to say and what loans she was allowed to offer. That is how the question about a job came in. If she is in school FT then obviously she doesn't have the income to pay that loan back right away. While getting a job is a good thing to me, it also isn't easy from home in NJ to get one in Atlanta. And this isn't a case of show up on the first day of school and apply to the school for whatever jobs they have available. She need to get that job before Mom and Dad will cosign the loan. She needs that loan to pay for her tuition bills now so she can start school in a month. They had to know that she would be turned down without a cosigner. The whole parent child interaction sounded very passive aggressive to me. thanks Beach! did anyone - the show hosts, for example - mention student loans? Private loans like SallieMae were not handled through the school where my DD went. Only student federal loan & federal parent plus was orchestrated through the school.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 7:54:50 GMT -5
Everyone has good thoughts and good points. Trouble is we don't know enough of the backstory to really understand the dynamics. She does come off bad that she is too good to get a job or that the parents should take out of their retirement to help her. Hopefully her degree isn't in something fun, therefore useless. I'd be doing the happy dance if someone had left my kid(s) 90k to help with school but having two children with totally different personalities would have been fun to watch. DS would have made it last and had money left over. DD totally would have blown through it, with probably less to show for it than this girl. Both raised by me. I probably would have never had to even talk to DS about being careful. That kid still has HS graduation money hoarded!! DD probably would have told me to shove it because she knows it all. Money slips through her fingers like water from a sieve.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 19, 2015 8:01:54 GMT -5
Well, I do put some blame on the parents. I wouldn't let my college student child blow through $90K of money, no way. If that was somehow beyond their control and they had no way to run interference on that inheritance, then maybe they couldn't stop her. However, there are ways to exert your influence over your own child and I would have stepped in and not allowed that to happen. Shooby, I think you give this kid too much credit for not being a willful, obstinate kid who insists on doing exactly the opposite of everything her parents have advised her to do. One of my sisters is like that. Yet. At 50 years old. I can see this kid telling her parents, "It's my money from Grandpa and Grandma and I can spend it any way I want. Stay out of my business." To me, the fact that the parents weren't willing to just hand over their retirement savings is an indication that they have some financial savvy and I suspect that they tried to guide their child. But, some kids just won't be guided. As a result, this kid is now paying tuition at the school of hard knocks. Good for her Mom and Dad! They are helping her learn lessons that should benefit her for the rest of her life. Oh, believe me, I have strong willed children as well. Who doesnt' lol? However, if you live at home, eat my food, sleep in one of my beds, use my water, gas, and electricity and are not a self sufficient adult, then sorry, I WILL exert my influence over you and there are some rules you will follow. And, just because you have some windfall doesnt' mean, that I have to make it easily accessible to you either. Most teens dont' have the wherewithal to figure all that out. Money and freedom ALSO comes with obligation and duty as well. You have a DUTY to not piss away your grandparents' inheritance which they worked so damn hard to give you. You have a DUTY to spend it wisely because if you don't you are dishonoring their memory and gift. However, paying for most of college is a reasonable expenditure. But, she could have done better and had some money to boot.
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imanangel
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Post by imanangel on Jul 19, 2015 8:24:39 GMT -5
One of the easiest fixes for that would be if a student claims herself on taxes, she's independent. If her parents claim her, she isn't and they must provide info for FAFSA. Which doesn't mean they HAVE to pay but that she now has the info she needs for financial aid I am sure it has already been mentioned, but nope, it doesn't work that way.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 8:47:50 GMT -5
That's the way it should work. Doesn't mean it will.
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imanangel
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Post by imanangel on Jul 19, 2015 8:50:27 GMT -5
That's the way it should work. Doesn't mean it will. It should, but no, it doesn't work that way. It is actually very hard now for a student to get independent status.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 19, 2015 9:35:02 GMT -5
That's the way it should work. Doesn't mean it will. It should, but no, it doesn't work that way. It is actually very hard now for a student to get independent status. 1) get married 2) have a kid or dependent 3) proof that you are emancipated and no longer a dependent of your parents. 4) orphan, ward of the state or in foster care.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 9:48:04 GMT -5
What difference does their retirement balance make? They made the money, it is their's. Not hers. PERIOD. They could have hundreds of millions and at the end of the day, she isn't entitled to a dime of it because she didn't earn it. If they want to be nice and help her, great. She should be appreciative of what she gets (Hell, getting $90k is a lot better than what most students get). The thing that fascinates me about these discussions is that this is an ADULT. She is 22. She is not 12, 15 or 3. She is supposed to be a grown up. I find the dichotomy between what is expected from people who go to college after high school and those who don't fascinating. Those who don't go to college are expected to get a job and support themselves. But those who go to college are babied until graduation? Aren't those who go to college from HS usually the more responsible and smarter ones? Why do we expect less of them that those who failed out of HS or just graduated? What would we expect a 22 year old who HADNT been to college to do? Would we say mom and dad should support them for a few more years because they are "just a kid" or would we say they should get off their bum and get a job? For the fifth - maybe sixth time, this is about the FAFSAIf you want college students to be "adults", then please contact your Federal government. Quite sure that they didn't fill it out because she was given enough money to cover the 4 years of school. AND she didn't tell her parents that she had run through the money until a week or so before the tuition bill was arriving. Way too late to fill out FAFSA. It has nothing to do with the parents refusing to do a FAFSA. It has to do with the kid using up the money that should have been there and then asking for rescue at the 11th hour, when it was too late to do much else. If you missed FAFSA filing deadline for DD's school it was "so sad, too bad". The kid was mad because her dad "chuckled" when she finally admitted the situation to him. Probably because they knew there was enough money only for tuition/r/b/normal expenses for 4 years. Parents probably had conversations about how it was going to play out when she went on spring break vacations & a trip to Europe. Yeah, I'd be having a "I told you so" chuckle about that too. This girls life is going to be "totally ruined" by having to work 15 hours a week while attending school. Because she didn't expect to have to work. She sounds like an entitled, slightly dense 15 year old to me, which is not good since she's 22. I did enjoy the incensed calls from a variety of millennials that were working full time while attending school full time. Rukh, I disagree with you. But if you are being this adamant because this is what your DD would sound like, you might have a problem
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 9:51:33 GMT -5
That's the way it should work. Doesn't mean it will. It used to be that way, but the rich folks all put their kids independent & all these VERY well off kids were getting financial aid. Since it was being abused the government clamped down on it and shut it off. I don't believe it will ever revert back.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 10:11:41 GMT -5
Did you actually listen to here? Or just read what the article said?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 10:11:46 GMT -5
So if rich people took advantage of it. It's still loans and they still have to be paid back.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 10:18:19 GMT -5
Did you actually listen to here? Or just read what the article said? I listened to all 4 segments. I heard entitled & having to work "at least" 15 hours a week was going to split her focus and damage her grades and ALL future opportunities. So, there's the set up for when entitled princess can't get a job . . . you made me work, my GPA went down .5 points . . . and my life is ruined!!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 10:19:48 GMT -5
So if rich people took advantage of it. It's still loans and they still have to be paid back. No, they were getting grants & subsidized loans too. That is what the government wanted to pull back from kids of wealthy families.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 10:20:59 GMT -5
I can see that. There must be a way.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 19, 2015 10:20:50 GMT -5
For the fifth - maybe sixth time, this is about the FAFSAIf you want college students to be "adults", then please contact your Federal government. Quite sure that they didn't fill it out because she was given enough money to cover the 4 years of school. AND she didn't tell her parents that she had run through the money until a week or so before the tuition bill was arriving. Way too late to fill out FAFSA. It has nothing to do with the parents refusing to do a FAFSA. It has to do with the kid using up the money that should have been there and then asking for rescue at the 11th hour, when it was too late to do much else. If you missed FAFSA filing deadline for DD's school it was "so sad, too bad". The kid was mad because her dad "chuckled" when she finally admitted the situation to him. Probably because they knew there was enough money only for tuition/r/b/normal expenses for 4 years. Parents probably had conversations about how it was going to play out when she went on spring break vacations & a trip to Europe. Yeah, I'd be having a "I told you so" chuckle about that too. This girls life is going to be "totally ruined" by having to work 15 hours a week while attending school. Because she didn't expect to have to work. She sounds like an entitled, slightly dense 15 year old to me, which is not good since she's 22. I did enjoy the incensed calls from a variety of millennials that were working full time while attending school full time. Rukh, I disagree with you. But if you are being this adamant because this is what your DD would sound like, you might have a problem It's never too late to fill out the FAFSA. Especially when it is only for the purposes of getting loans. And she didn't say all the things that were posted her. The hosts made the point, scarcastic though it was, that her parents should pull the money out of their retirement accounts. She just said they could help when they said they couldn't. She may not have said it perfectly but her point was crystal clear. They didn't want to help her, not couldn't help her. And she didn't say getting a job was embarrassing, she said getting a job at the cafeteria would be embarrassing. For the record every teen I have ever met including myself would say the same thing. And the math for all the posters who clearly don't have kids in college right now is $10K for tuition at a cheap public school plus at least $10k for room and board. Add in books and a modest amount of incidentials and it is easily at $23K a year. If she had 90K she could have done four years with it, but it would have required serious budgeting! She said the parents never tried to help her with that. Of course we don't have the parents side, but it wasn't like she was trying to make herself look good either. Clearly there is bad in what both she and her parents did. The only difference in my mind is she has the chance to grow up. As an adult of a college age student I can tell you that college costs quickly become funny money. I paid $379 a semester for tuition at a CC a hundred years ago. It just doesn't make it into my brain how I can get a bill for tens of thousands of dollars. But very quickly you become adjusted to those crazy numbers even though you can't figure out how to translate it in your head. I think of it like being in a foreign country and a taxi ride costs 250,000 escudo. If it can happen that quickly to an adult I can see it being Chinese to a young person.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 19, 2015 10:24:52 GMT -5
So if rich people took advantage of it. It's still loans and they still have to be paid back. No, they were getting grants & subsidized loans too. That is what the government wanted to pull back from kids of wealthy families. Totally not what I remember. I clearly remember seeing people who had really wealthy parents getting Pell grants and state aid. Their parents told the kids that since they didn't have to pay for college they bought them an expensive car. And I also remember when people used to graduate college and promptly declare BK. It was rampant on some campuses. Not that they shouldn't be a little more lenient with people totally disabled and such but that really did have to be stopped. ETA I meant to quote Zib sorry!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 10:33:27 GMT -5
Okay then if your parents make over X amount you can only get loans not grants and whatever else is free. Then students of any kind aren't punished.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 10:34:07 GMT -5
Did you listen to all the segments? Because she went on about 'I was not supposed to have to work while going to college' and 'my parents have the money they just don't want to help' and 'how it was going to split her focus and she wouldn't do as well if she had to work' and then an incensed 'I have to work AT LEAST 15 hours/week'.
She had multiple statements about the issues with her having to work. She was incensed that her parents wouldn't co-sign the loan without her having a plan of how to pay it back. They knew she had no intention of working & if they gave her an easy out, she would not work and would not pay them back.
Yes, college is expensive, but in the first segment even she said that the $90K was enough for 4 years of school, but she spent money on clothes and trips so that was why she ran out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 10:35:32 GMT -5
Okay then if your parents make over X amount you can only get loans not grants and whatever else is free. Then students of any kind aren't punished. That is how it goes now.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 19, 2015 10:36:53 GMT -5
Zib I think that is the way it works right now. But they won't do anything until the FAFSA is filled out. If the parents won't fill out their part it won't get done.
I will add that although FAFSA talks about exceptions for abusive parents and such the biggest reason is that parents don't want their kids knowing how much money they make. We didn't even like it much. It just is an odd dynamic to be put in.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 19, 2015 10:37:51 GMT -5
Kind of but what I'm hearing is that you can't get enough in loans to pay for college.
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