MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 18:25:57 GMT -5
So Blind Date Guy (BDG) and I have been talking - we talked on the phone a bit. That was okay. I saw his pic - he's not a troll, but nothing really noteworthy IMO. Yesterday when I told him i was busy at work and wasn't leaving for lunch, he offered to bring me lunch.... He lives like an hour from my job and we haven't met in person yet, so I found that kinda creepy. Basically, I don't want to have anything to do with him other than a possible friendship. I drafted a text to him saying that, but now I'm scared. What if he keeps hassling me or tries to stalk me? I also feel bad rejecting him but I can't pretend to like someone. I keep thinking he's an adult so it'll be fine but I have encountered enough crazy that I can't just assume that.
|
|
nutty
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 31, 2014 5:37:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,166
|
Post by nutty on Jul 2, 2015 18:27:55 GMT -5
Well you can do the fade out or just tell him. Its harsh I know. I have done it both ways, fading out feels like a cop out so I would recommend just telling him Jenny.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jul 2, 2015 18:31:51 GMT -5
That is why nice guys are single and girls always go for the douche bag.
The guy lives an hour away and was trying to score some MAJOR brownie points with you and look how it backfired. Now he is creepy!
The players may have changed but the game always remain the same!
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 18:34:13 GMT -5
I don't know this dude from Adam - I don't need him knowing where I work.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Jul 2, 2015 18:34:47 GMT -5
I have to agree with Haitian/Carl. I think he was trying to meet you on your terms where you'd feel comfortable. I also think reading about the crazy ass dudes other's have been dealing with has you spooked. Relax and just meet him over coffee/lunch one day on your terms and if there is no connection just tell him you'd only want him as a platonic friend. I'm sure it won't be the first time he's heard that. Just be respectful and nice so he doesn't kill you in your sleep when he tracks you down. And I thought your question was going to be about technics and stuff. Imagine my disappointment.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 18:36:52 GMT -5
Fine, I'll wait til after we meet. Sheesh, being nice is hard!
|
|
nutty
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 31, 2014 5:37:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,166
|
Post by nutty on Jul 2, 2015 18:39:59 GMT -5
Sroo OMG your post has me rolling. I have only been back on the scene for a year after being married for 24 years. I am still at learning curve level.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 18:40:40 GMT -5
I have to agree with Haitian/Carl. I think he was trying to meet you on your terms where you'd feel comfortable. I also think reading about the crazy ass dudes other's have been dealing with has you spooked. Relax and just meet him over coffee/lunch one day on your terms and if there is no connection just tell him you'd only want him as a platonic friend. I'm sure it won't be the first time he's heard that. Just be respectful and nice so he doesn't kill you in your sleep when he tracks you down. And I thought your question was going to be about technics and stuff. Imagine my disappointment. Nicely = no teeth, right?
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Jul 2, 2015 18:42:16 GMT -5
I have to agree with Haitian/Carl. I think he was trying to meet you on your terms where you'd feel comfortable. I also think reading about the crazy ass dudes other's have been dealing with has you spooked. Relax and just meet him over coffee/lunch one day on your terms and if there is no connection just tell him you'd only want him as a platonic friend. I'm sure it won't be the first time he's heard that. Just be respectful and nice so he doesn't kill you in your sleep when he tracks you down. And I thought your question was going to be about technics and stuff. Imagine my disappointment. Nicely = no teeth, right? Depends on the dude.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2015 18:42:49 GMT -5
I'd help....but I suck at relationships. Good luck!
|
|
souldoubt
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 11:57:14 GMT -5
Posts: 2,757
|
Post by souldoubt on Jul 2, 2015 18:47:32 GMT -5
You didn't actually have to meet him at your work. You could have told him you had a short break and met him in a public place with a lot of people. If you suddenly hit it off your short break turns into a long lunch and if not you tell him you have to go back to work. To be honest your 1st post reads a bit...well you said things were okay then you saw his picture, weren't impressed and he offered to do something some may find to be sweet and you got weirded out. Sounds like you just weren't attracted and wanted an out.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 18:50:25 GMT -5
You didn't actually have to meet him at your work. You could have told him you had a short break and met him in a public place with a lot of people. If you suddenly hit it off your short break turns into a long lunch and if not you tell him you have to go back to work. To be honest your 1st post reads a bit...well you said things were okay then you saw his picture, weren't impressed and he offered to do something some may find to be sweet and you got weirded out. Sounds like you just weren't attracted and wanted an out. Yeah kinda.... I admit to being a bit shallow. But despite that, I know the right thing to do is give him a fair shot by meeting him in person. We are planning to meet Sunday - that's one reason I found it creepy, like he couldn't wait til then or something.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2015 18:50:49 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to blow him off. Sometimes it takes awhile to mesh.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jul 2, 2015 18:51:52 GMT -5
Eh, I don't read creepiness in it. I think it's like Cawau said, it's an attempt to score brownie points.
Whenever I met girls online, I'd always drive the majority of the distance to make it easier on them, which always seemed to be lost on them.
But since it sounds like you've already made up your mind, I would just text him that you don't want to see him again. No point in wasting your time or his.
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,333
|
Post by andi9899 on Jul 2, 2015 18:52:07 GMT -5
I have to agree with Haitian/Carl. I think he was trying to meet you on your terms where you'd feel comfortable. I also think reading about the crazy ass dudes other's have been dealing with has you spooked. Relax and just meet him over coffee/lunch one day on your terms and if there is no connection just tell him you'd only want him as a platonic friend. I'm sure it won't be the first time he's heard that. Just be respectful and nice so he doesn't kill you in your sleep when he tracks you down. And I thought your question was going to be about technics and stuff. Imagine my disappointment. I like this approach. He can't say you never gave him a chance. Plus, you may end up liking him so much it's ok that he's not as cute as you would like. You'll never know until you give it a shot. I would not let him know where I live/work yet though.
|
|
souldoubt
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 11:57:14 GMT -5
Posts: 2,757
|
Post by souldoubt on Jul 2, 2015 18:52:53 GMT -5
At least you're honest and to be fair we like what we like it's not like you saw his picture and stopped talking to him all together. If it doesn't work out you can be honest with him saying you didn't fell chemistry or just lie and say you're going through some stuff right now and need to work it out on your own. He may not be the type of guy you're instantly attracted to but maybe you meet and really hit it off. If not at least you gave it a shot.
|
|
ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
|
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jul 2, 2015 18:55:30 GMT -5
I wouldn't want someone I don't really know coming to my place of work either. I would have probably just told him the following:
"Since I'm too busy at work to be leaving for lunch, I'm not going to have time to have visitors.
Can we do a rain-check for another day and location - like a cafe or coffee shop?"
(I sure wouldn't give him the address of your workplace if you don't know him well.)
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Jul 2, 2015 18:57:53 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to blow him off. Sometimes it takes awhile to mesh. That's the big revelation I've had about women and dating. It's a revelation I started to have about 6 months ago.
With all due respect to women, they feel first when it comes to dating. They want to fall in love from the first meeting, or at least have strong feelings about a man as soon as they meet him.
That's why you get people like MJ, who meets a bunch of guys, many of which are willing to go out of their way to please her, and she's like "meh."
My big mistake was assuming because I had my shit together, good job, education and all that, that it would be enough. The realization is that doesn't matter, or at least is a secondary concern, it's all about feelings and falling in love early and hard. Chemistry, in other words.
|
|
ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
|
Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jul 2, 2015 19:06:37 GMT -5
I also don't make a quick decision based on the wrapping on the outside. It can be all pretty & nice to look at but hollow on the inside.
It's what's on the inside that makes a person a good catch or match so to speak. And you won't know what's in the inside if you're not willing to take time and peel back the layers to find out.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Jul 2, 2015 19:09:33 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to blow him off. Sometimes it takes awhile to mesh. No kidding. Then she'd never get rid of him!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 13:18:53 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2015 19:10:17 GMT -5
So Blind Date Guy (BDG) and I have been talking - we talked on the phone a bit. That was okay. I saw his pic - he's not a troll, but nothing really noteworthy IMO. Yesterday when I told him i was busy at work and wasn't leaving for lunch, he offered to bring me lunch.... He lives like an hour from my job and we haven't met in person yet, so I found that kinda creepy. Basically, I don't want to have anything to do with him other than a possible friendship. I drafted a text to him saying that, but now I'm scared. What if he keeps hassling me or tries to stalk me? I also feel bad rejecting him but I can't pretend to like someone. I keep thinking he's an adult so it'll be fine but I have encountered enough crazy that I can't just assume that. Does he know where you work or live? I think you just tell him that you are getting back together with your ex & you are sorry but you have a commitment to try to make your family work if you can. He can't really argue with that . . . and the thought of another guy in the picture usually keeps creepers away. I think you should only do Blind Dates if someone you are familiar with does the set up. Stranger suggesting another stranger creeped me out to start with.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 2, 2015 19:10:31 GMT -5
Ba dah bum!!!
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,979
|
Post by cronewitch on Jul 2, 2015 19:11:08 GMT -5
I would simply say no thank you, he doesn't have your work address so won't show without your permission. So a quick thanks but no thanks, so sweet of you to offer but I have an energy bar in my purse and a vending machine and no time for more. Looking forward to meeting Sunday when we have time to visit.
|
|
ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 14:39:20 GMT -5
Posts: 14,238
Location: Maryland
|
Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Jul 2, 2015 19:13:17 GMT -5
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jul 2, 2015 19:15:47 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to blow him off. Sometimes it takes awhile to mesh. No kidding. Then she'd never get rid of him! I thought that was the new 1st base
|
|
joemilitary
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 8, 2014 14:26:13 GMT -5
Posts: 682
|
Post by joemilitary on Jul 2, 2015 19:22:37 GMT -5
Just meet him IRL ......pick your nose, belch and fart
problem solved
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 19:38:47 GMT -5
Just meet him IRL ......pick your nose, belch and fart
problem solved Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,380
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 2, 2015 19:45:27 GMT -5
Just meet him IRL ......pick your nose, belch and fart
problem solved Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind He's probably into it. Or at the very least it won't be enough to deter him.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 2, 2015 19:47:31 GMT -5
Don't be so quick to blow him off. Sometimes it takes awhile to mesh. That's the big revelation I've had about women and dating. It's a revelation I started to have about 6 months ago.
With all due respect to women, they feel first when it comes to dating. They want to fall in love from the first meeting, or at least have strong feelings about a man as soon as they meet him.
That's why you get people like MJ, who meets a bunch of guys, many of which are willing to go out of their way to please her, and she's like "meh."
My big mistake was assuming because I had my shit together, good job, education and all that, that it would be enough. The realization is that doesn't matter, or at least is a secondary concern, it's all about feelings and falling in love early and hard. Chemistry, in other words.
So if a really unattractive woman tried to pursue you, you'd reciprocate even if you weren't the least bit attracted to her? Not buying it at all. Men are visual creatures and are in general more shallow than women.
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,218
|
Post by Ryan on Jul 2, 2015 19:48:05 GMT -5
No, just send the text and be done with it. If he is that weird to bring you lunch at work when you are an hour away then he's going to be even more weird after you meet.
|
|