Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Apr 21, 2015 16:08:45 GMT -5
Oh, this again...I think ladies have it easier...you just show up and look good.
We have to entertain you, be nice (which most of us naturally are, of course, I think), pretend to like cats and...
Actually, I hate blind dates. You should get to know someone, even just a little, before you step out together, even for a coffee...there could be awkward moments.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 21, 2015 16:24:20 GMT -5
WOw y'all are dating ? It has been over a year for me and today will be my first date and I am still not sure I am ready. Are you referring to me?
Yeah, I started dating pretty quick after my divorce finalized. But my divorce wasn't out of the blue, it was after 3.5 years of on & off trying to make it work with the relationship mostly on a downward spiral. Of the last year of the marriage, we spent less than 3 months living together & most of that time wasn't good. So I had basically processed the loss of the relationship & my related grief during the marriage. When I finally filed to finalize the divorce I was pretty much over the relationship. I really couldn't even bring myself to file the papers until I emotionally reached that point. I had really felt it was over a year earlier, but just wasn't ready to put the final nail in the coffin.
It took ~2 months after the divorced finalized for me to decide I wanted to get out & meet people. My intention was not to get serious, but just to get out of the house & meet people & have fun. That isn't what happened, but such is life.
ETA - My marriage was also much shorter than yours. We had only been married a little over 3 years when we split the first time.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 16:47:47 GMT -5
LMAO, he wasn't worth the effort I took to respond the first time, I'm not responding again. I just wish I thought of that the first time. He wasn't even remotely cute anyway, so it's not like I would have been interested to begin with. O.o, This takes me way back to my online dating days. One time I got an email from a guy calling me a fraud, full of myself, and whatever else, I don't even remember. I replied that he had no idea who I was or anything about me, so who the hell did he think he was judging me, and basically told him to STFU. He came sniveling back about being intimidated, or me being hot, or something. I don't really remember, but a short time later a saw a story about some book or something giving guys dating tips. Basically, the point was to insult the girl so that she becomes desperate to prove him wrong or something? Since you say he wasn't even cute, I wonder if he was trying to pull that trick. I've heard of that. That must only work on desperate women with low self-esteem because it sure as hell doesn't work on me.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Apr 21, 2015 18:39:39 GMT -5
O.o, This takes me way back to my online dating days. One time I got an email from a guy calling me a fraud, full of myself, and whatever else, I don't even remember. I replied that he had no idea who I was or anything about me, so who the hell did he think he was judging me, and basically told him to STFU. He came sniveling back about being intimidated, or me being hot, or something. I don't really remember, but a short time later a saw a story about some book or something giving guys dating tips. Basically, the point was to insult the girl so that she becomes desperate to prove him wrong or something? Since you say he wasn't even cute, I wonder if he was trying to pull that trick. I've heard of that. That must only work on desperate women with low self-esteem because it sure as hell doesn't work on me. Me neither. I could possibly seeing it work in a joking/sarcastic way, if that's the way your sense of humor works....maybe.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Apr 22, 2015 5:21:41 GMT -5
O.o, This takes me way back to my online dating days. One time I got an email from a guy calling me a fraud, full of myself, and whatever else, I don't even remember. I replied that he had no idea who I was or anything about me, so who the hell did he think he was judging me, and basically told him to STFU. He came sniveling back about being intimidated, or me being hot, or something. I don't really remember, but a short time later a saw a story about some book or something giving guys dating tips. Basically, the point was to insult the girl so that she becomes desperate to prove him wrong or something? Since you say he wasn't even cute, I wonder if he was trying to pull that trick. I've heard of that. That must only work on desperate women with low self-esteem because it sure as hell doesn't work on me. I think the practice is called 'negging'.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 7:17:59 GMT -5
Ha, well it went ok but I happened to catch his last name and of course i googled him on FB when I got home. Very, very recent pics of him and wife?? I am not interested in being a rebound, also he said he had been divorced for about 7 years YEAH FROM WIFE NUMBER ONE IT SEEMS....LOL I am usually pretty not nosy in the beginning like I didn't reveal my last name but I am very very much listen very closely to things and they usually give something up that they didnt mean to. Anyway I may be jumping to some conclusions but the profile pic was changed to him and her (with his last name) march 15, way too close if a break up occured for me to be interested. Now just deciding how to play it.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 22, 2015 7:43:57 GMT -5
You positive it's a wife not a sis. I feel like it's a thing now for brothers to have pix with their sis on social media...more often than just a one off. Or maybe I just notice it cuz my bro and I don't have a ton of pix with each other.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 22, 2015 7:51:20 GMT -5
How do you know it's his wife. I wouldn't jump to conclusions.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 7:58:17 GMT -5
HAHAH, I did think that sister, daughter etc, daughter because I couldn't real tell age at first glance. But he also told me his daughters name and it wasn't Jessica his last name. There is a pic from Dec 2014 with a few comments stating what a nice looking couple. I did just go search his name again and surprise surprise its been taken down. It is just funny because with all the info online and me being power googler its not like things cant be found out. He is a nice guy, never made a move on me last night or any sexual innuendos by text but the profile pic was changed to a pic of them mar 15 and in my opinion its just too early for him AND he didnt tell me if indeed this is a second wife, maybe its his first I don't know what it going on. Regardless he has omitted some things to me I believe. I am not angry or disapointed I think its funny.
Yep the page I saw last night is def. gone. There was no doubt it was him, plenty of pics of him and "jessica" OMG how funny.
Oh and btw I had read that a failure to ask or add you to FB is a huge red flag, just what I read.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 22, 2015 8:08:23 GMT -5
It has never occurred to me to Google/Facebook stalk someone I was looking to see. I also won't initiate being Facebook friends. I feel like someone I don't know rifling through my Facebook is like someone I don't know rifling through my physical belongings. I know it's not the same, but it feels similar to me.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 22, 2015 8:09:42 GMT -5
Eh, just go out and have a good time. No need to obsess over whether this is wife one or two. Funny enough, DH had a woman hit on him during his marriage, during his divorce, and even after as well. Then while we were engaged as well. ONE time he made a joke about two women fighting over him. I told him I could very quickly change that to one. That joke was quickly stopped by him. Turd.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 22, 2015 8:13:38 GMT -5
I dunno, I hate giving out my fb until I've gone on several dates with the guy. I don't want a lot of one and done clogging up my page. Also I'm the only one in the city (maybe state) with my name so I try to avoid giving it out to randoms.
But if I get a last name I will search fb...mostly to get more pix to show friends. But I'm not actively trying to get a last name on the first date.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 8:17:43 GMT -5
WOw y'all are dating ? It has been over a year for me and today will be my first date and I am still not sure I am ready. Huh? You were posting about dating last Fall. I got ripped a new one because I said maybe you better hold off. Angel's divorce has been final for quite a while.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 8:20:01 GMT -5
No we hadnt exchanged last names. No big deal. I do not add people either willy nilly. He was talking about something last night and said his last name but he trailed of like he knew he was revealing too much and yes that was my exact thought as he was saying it last night. Yes I will check them out, I am not unwillingly going to get involved with my time and energy to someone who is married, who would do that.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 8:20:42 GMT -5
I wasn't dating last fall at all. I met people while out but I wasnt dating.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 22, 2015 8:40:53 GMT -5
I've only ever dated once online dating existed, even though it wasn't ubiquitous back in the day. I didn't and haven't because I'm easy to track down since I'm the only one with my name for a long while. Also my fb is locked down so you can't see any information because it can be easy to track me down if I'm posting a lot that day.
After being cyber stalked without the guy having my last name and the terror of that (he went to my university, large enough to be anonymous but he could have had a shot of finding me from info in early chats if he was persistent) and other instances I don't want to give guys easier access to me right off the bat.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 9:38:19 GMT -5
WOw y'all are dating ? It has been over a year for me and today will be my first date and I am still not sure I am ready. Huh? You were posting about dating last Fall. I got ripped a new one because I said maybe you better hold off. Angel's divorce has been final for quite a while. I thought the same thing, but opted not to comment. To give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she wasn't dating, but really looking to date. She was all over the place at the time & clearly grieving over her marriage ending.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 9:42:10 GMT -5
Hi, dinosaur demi here-
Why don't people exchange last names on first dates? Is it to try to remain anonymous in social media?
This is new to me.... Because it is basically a blind date. All you are going off of is what they've chosen to post on the dating site & shared. You don't yet know if they are a crazy psycho & you don't want to give them the ability to stalk, harass, or anything else before you get to know them a little better.
I honestly didn't feel 100% confident in the guy I am dating until I saw his place & met his kids. Before then there is always the thought in the back of your mind that maybe he is married, maybe he is lying about his job, having kids, or whatever. He seemed like a great guy, but I don't really trust my instincts because they haven't worked well for me in the past so I've gotten paranoid.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 22, 2015 9:47:41 GMT -5
It has never occurred to me to Google/Facebook stalk someone I was looking to see. I also won't initiate being Facebook friends. I feel like someone I don't know rifling through my Facebook is like someone I don't know rifling through my physical belongings. I know it's not the same, but it feels similar to me. I do. I also look at anything that is public record. Court websites, marriage and divorce records, etc. Call me a creeper, but you can never be too careful.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 22, 2015 10:01:38 GMT -5
Hi, dinosaur demi here-
Why don't people exchange last names on first dates? Is it to try to remain anonymous in social media?
This is new to me.... Because it is basically a blind date. All you are going off of is what they've chosen to post on the dating site & shared. You don't yet know if they are a crazy psycho & you don't want to give them the ability to stalk, harass, or anything else before you get to know them a little better.
I honestly didn't feel 100% confident in the guy I am dating until I saw his place & met his kids. Before then there is always the thought in the back of your mind that maybe he is married, maybe he is lying about his job, having kids, or whatever. He seemed like a great guy, but I don't really trust my instincts because they haven't worked well for me in the past so I've gotten paranoid.
I was dating this guy for 1 1/2 years. I had been to his house at all different times of the day, he didn't have kids. Seemingly a good guy. A friend wanted to know what he looked like, so I told her to search his unusual name on FB, there couldn't be very many after all. She found him alright. She also found his wife. I can only assume she lived in Cuba as he went back and forth a lot. I had to drop him. From then on, I do an extensive check on potential BFs.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 10:04:17 GMT -5
Because it is basically a blind date. All you are going off of is what they've chosen to post on the dating site & shared. You don't yet know if they are a crazy psycho & you don't want to give them the ability to stalk, harass, or anything else before you get to know them a little better.
I honestly didn't feel 100% confident in the guy I am dating until I saw his place & met his kids. Before then there is always the thought in the back of your mind that maybe he is married, maybe he is lying about his job, having kids, or whatever. He seemed like a great guy, but I don't really trust my instincts because they haven't worked well for me in the past so I've gotten paranoid.
I was dating this guy for 1 1/2 years. I had been to his house at all different times of the day, he didn't have kids. Seemingly a good guy. A friend wanted to know what he looked like, so I told her to search his unusual name on FB, there couldn't be very many after all. She found him alright. She also found his wife. I can only assume she lived in Cuba as he went back and forth a lot. I had to drop him. From then on, I do an extensive check on potential BFs. That sucks!! But shows my fears aren't totally unfounded, there are jackasses that will do this to women.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 22, 2015 10:04:29 GMT -5
What if they don't have a profile on Facebook? I don't have anything to do with Facebook.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 10:08:00 GMT -5
What if they don't have a profile on Facebook? I don't have anything to do with Facebook. That isn't a really bad thing. It just means women can't look you up. Even if you had one, many people have them locked so all you can't see all the details without friending them. I know mine's locked because I don't want my ex (or other random people I suppose) to be able to look through mine.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 22, 2015 10:09:29 GMT -5
I was dating this guy for 1 1/2 years. I had been to his house at all different times of the day, he didn't have kids. Seemingly a good guy. A friend wanted to know what he looked like, so I told her to search his unusual name on FB, there couldn't be very many after all. She found him alright. She also found his wife. I can only assume she lived in Cuba as he went back and forth a lot. I had to drop him. From then on, I do an extensive check on potential BFs. That sucks!! But shows my fears aren't totally unfounded, there are jackasses that will do this to women. Right! It was crazy good sex too! Oh well. Live and learn.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 10:09:50 GMT -5
What if they don't have a profile on Facebook? I don't have anything to do with Facebook. You'd get extra points from me for that.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 22, 2015 10:11:36 GMT -5
What if they don't have a profile on Facebook? I don't have anything to do with Facebook. Arrest records as well as marriage and divorce records are on the county/state websites. You'd be surprised at how much of your business is online.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 22, 2015 10:13:10 GMT -5
Hi, dinosaur demi here-
Why don't people exchange last names on first dates? Is it to try to remain anonymous in social media?
This is new to me.... Because it is basically a blind date. All you are going off of is what they've chosen to post on the dating site & shared. You don't yet know if they are a crazy psycho & you don't want to give them the ability to stalk, harass, or anything else before you get to know them a little better.
I honestly didn't feel 100% confident in the guy I am dating until I saw his place & met his kids. Before then there is always the thought in the back of your mind that maybe he is married, maybe he is lying about his job, having kids, or whatever. He seemed like a great guy, but I don't really trust my instincts because they haven't worked well for me in the past so I've gotten paranoid.
Trust but verify.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 22, 2015 10:20:39 GMT -5
That sucks!! But shows my fears aren't totally unfounded, there are jackasses that will do this to women. Right! It was crazy good sex too! Oh well. Live and learn. it was that "I'm cheating on my wife" sex - that's why it was so good! ...but seriously, what an asshat.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 22, 2015 10:20:55 GMT -5
What if they don't have a profile on Facebook? I don't have anything to do with Facebook. Arrest records as well as marriage and divorce records are on the county/state websites. You'd be surprised at how much of your business is online. but how do you know if you got the right person without their sis number? A lot of people have the same first and last name. I'm sure if you searched hard, you could find a marriage certificate with my name on it, but it really wouldn't be me, just someone with the same name.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 22, 2015 10:24:38 GMT -5
Arrest records as well as marriage and divorce records are on the county/state websites. You'd be surprised at how much of your business is online. but how do you know if you got the right person without their sis number? A lot of people have the same first and last name. I'm sure if you searched hard, you could find a marriage certificate with my name on it, but it really wouldn't be me, just someone with the same name. DOB, city, relatives if you know any of those names. If you look hard enough, you can find the information. Usually it's not very difficult though.
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