justme
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Post by justme on Apr 21, 2015 10:37:16 GMT -5
Haha! Be glad you only get the copied two sentence messages. I've gotten the obviously copied and generic three plus paragraph messages. O.O
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 10:48:18 GMT -5
I've gotten a paragraph at most - never three, LOL! Today I had one cute one send me some long messages trying to get me to reconsider my height dealbreaker. I have tried and tried, but any guy under 5'11" is instantly friendzoned. I don't mind having them as friends, but guys don't seem to want platonic female friends too much.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 21, 2015 10:55:41 GMT -5
I'll allow it if you're at least 5'7. Otherwise <insert that devil pitchfork guy I can't on my app>
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 11:06:04 GMT -5
I'll allow it if you're at least 5'7. Otherwise fixed. And yes, I am 5'7".
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 21, 2015 12:30:00 GMT -5
I received two, count them, two messages.
Online information even tells you to connect with something in the profile.
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Apr 21, 2015 12:32:29 GMT -5
Any fleeting thought I'd given to using an online dating service was nixed when one of my buddies told me that the service he was using matched him with my ex. ROFLMAO
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 21, 2015 12:43:27 GMT -5
Any fleeting thought I'd given to using an online dating service was nixed when one of my buddies told me that the service he was using matched him with my ex. ROFLMAO You're a rock star! You're beating the women off with a stick! And that is hilarious!
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Apr 21, 2015 12:51:44 GMT -5
Any fleeting thought I'd given to using an online dating service was nixed when one of my buddies told me that the service he was using matched him with my ex. ROFLMAO You're a rock star! You're beating the women off with a stick! And that is hilarious! Ya right! And it was hilarious! When he told me about it, he got that shit eating grin on his face and said, "guess what".... The real irony is that they cannot stand each other. Lots of hate there. LOL
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2015 13:50:04 GMT -5
Haha! Be glad you only get the copied two sentence messages. I've gotten the obviously copied and generic three plus paragraph messages. O.O You have to realize that to a certain extent, boiler plate e-mails are a necessity. I'm on match.com right now, and I've sent out over 70 e-mails gotten 4 responses or so? The rate of return on e-mails is pretty low, so you're wasting a lot of time if you invest in one e-mail. Furthermore, I figure most women don't want to open their e-mail and read a wall of text. First e-mails should be relatively short in my opinion.
That said, it doesn't take that long to read someone's profile and make a comment and ask a question about it.
Here's a common e-mail template I use.
"Hi,
It's nice to meet you.
Are you from the area, or a transplant like me? I moved to (state) last October for work, and I'm enjoying it so far. It's nice because of x, y, and z.
What kind of teacher are you? What attracted you to the profession? It must be quite rewarding to know you're an important part of your student's lives.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Phoenix"
The first "paragraph" is usually standard. It gives a bit of information about myself, but I'll customize it or drop it if somehow their point of origin is addressed in their profile.
The second "paragraph" is usually commenting about their job, their dog, travel, interests ect, and asking a question about it.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2015 13:52:00 GMT -5
I'll allow it if you're at least 5'7. Otherwise <insert that devil pitchfork guy I can't on my app> I usually like to try to leverage my height to my advantage and make it a priority to contact tall women. Since most women want to hang out with guys who are taller, that, in theory, should work in my favor since I'm 6'2". You don't find too many women over 6 feet.
Alas, it hasn't worked out that way.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 21, 2015 13:56:10 GMT -5
Haha! Be glad you only get the copied two sentence messages. I've gotten the obviously copied and generic three plus paragraph messages. O.O You have to realize that to a certain extent, boiler plate e-mails are a necessity. I'm on match.com right now, and I've sent out over 70 e-mails gotten 4 responses or so? The rate of return on e-mails is pretty low, so you're wasting a lot of time if you invest in one e-mail. Furthermore, I figure most women don't want to open their e-mail and read a wall of text. First e-mails should be relatively short in my opinion.
That said, it doesn't take that long to read someone's profile and make a comment and ask a question about it.
Here's a common e-mail template I use.
"Hi,
It's nice to meet you.
Are you from the area, or a transplant like me? I moved to (state) last October for work, and I'm enjoying it so far. It's nice because of x, y, and z.
What kind of teacher are you? What attracted you to the profession? It must be quite rewarding to know you're an important part of your student's lives.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Phoenix"
The first "paragraph" is usually standard. It gives a bit of information about myself, but I'll customize it or drop it if somehow their point of origin is addressed in their profile.
The second "paragraph" is usually commenting about their job, their dog, travel, interests ect, and asking a question about it.
Well that's not what I was talking about. I mean full on over five long sentences a paragraph, where I actually have to scroll to see it all and they only talk about themselves and what they want in a girl. Often things contradictory (one of many indicators they didn't change it) to my profile. The gems even talk about their crappy relationships in the past. So I literally meant wall of text that at most 5 words were changed.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 21, 2015 14:02:24 GMT -5
You have to realize that to a certain extent, boiler plate e-mails are a necessity. I'm on match.com right now, and I've sent out over 70 e-mails gotten 4 responses or so? The rate of return on e-mails is pretty low, so you're wasting a lot of time if you invest in one e-mail. Furthermore, I figure most women don't want to open their e-mail and read a wall of text. First e-mails should be relatively short in my opinion.
That said, it doesn't take that long to read someone's profile and make a comment and ask a question about it.
Here's a common e-mail template I use.
"Hi,
It's nice to meet you.
Are you from the area, or a transplant like me? I moved to (state) last October for work, and I'm enjoying it so far. It's nice because of x, y, and z.
What kind of teacher are you? What attracted you to the profession? It must be quite rewarding to know you're an important part of your student's lives.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Phoenix"
The first "paragraph" is usually standard. It gives a bit of information about myself, but I'll customize it or drop it if somehow their point of origin is addressed in their profile.
The second "paragraph" is usually commenting about their job, their dog, travel, interests ect, and asking a question about it.
Well that's not what I was talking about. I mean full on over five long sentences a paragraph, where I actually have to scroll to see it all and they only talk about themselves and what they want in a girl. Often things contradictory (one of many indicators they didn't change it) to my profile. The gems even talk about their crappy relationships in the past. So I literally meant wall of text that at most 5 words were changed. I loved the ones I got from guys that didn't want kids or to date someone with kids. Ummm...you clearly didn't bother to read my profile where I state I have 3 YOUNG children. I get that some things are dealbreakers & some things are preferences. But, why the hell would I waste my time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with someone with kids? That is an absolute dealbreaker on my end.
And I agree with justme, that is not what we are talking about when we say copied & pasted response. You're reading the profile & at least indicating you are reading the profile by talking about her in some way. That is good.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Apr 21, 2015 14:16:00 GMT -5
... so you're wasting a lot of time if you invest in one e-mail. ... I read this posting and wanted to share a thought: What would happen if you read a profile, just any profile, and thought, "This could be her. My future wife and the mother of my children. The person that I will grow old with and the hand I will be holding when one of us moves on." How much time are you willing to invest in that one e-mail? And if you write that one e-mail, think the response rate might change? Just a thought.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 14:24:26 GMT -5
Well that's not what I was talking about. I mean full on over five long sentences a paragraph, where I actually have to scroll to see it all and they only talk about themselves and what they want in a girl. Often things contradictory (one of many indicators they didn't change it) to my profile. The gems even talk about their crappy relationships in the past. So I literally meant wall of text that at most 5 words were changed. I loved the ones I got from guys that didn't want kids or to date someone with kids. Ummm...you clearly didn't bother to read my profile where I state I have 3 YOUNG children. I get that some things are dealbreakers & some things are preferences. But, why the hell would I waste my time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with someone with kids? That is an absolute dealbreaker on my end.
And I agree with justme, that is not what we are talking about when we say copied & pasted response. You're reading the profile & at least indicating you are reading the profile by talking about her in some way. That is good.
someone actually took the time to message me that having kids was a dealbreaker. I said "not sure why you messaged me with that information, but okay." He then responded that I didn't have to respond, that I just had baggage and it's a turnoff. I didn't even reach out to this guy - he just found it necessary to point it out to me unprompted. I wanted to say "well stupid fucking douchebags are a dealbreaker for me, so I guess it all worked out", but I just ignored him.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 21, 2015 14:35:26 GMT -5
I loved the ones I got from guys that didn't want kids or to date someone with kids. Ummm...you clearly didn't bother to read my profile where I state I have 3 YOUNG children. I get that some things are dealbreakers & some things are preferences. But, why the hell would I waste my time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with someone with kids? That is an absolute dealbreaker on my end.
And I agree with justme, that is not what we are talking about when we say copied & pasted response. You're reading the profile & at least indicating you are reading the profile by talking about her in some way. That is good.
someone actually took the time to message me that having kids was a dealbreaker. I said "not sure why you messaged me with that information, but okay." He then responded that I didn't have to respond, that I just had baggage and it's a turnoff. I didn't even reach out to this guy - he just found it necessary to point it out to me unprompted. I wanted to say "well stupid fucking douchebags are a dealbreaker for me, so I guess it all worked out", but I just ignored him. That's pretty crappy IMO. That's like sending "I saw your profile and just wanted to let you know you're not good enough for me ". What a dyck. Bet he's also wondering why he can't find "the one".
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 21, 2015 14:45:19 GMT -5
I loved the ones I got from guys that didn't want kids or to date someone with kids. Ummm...you clearly didn't bother to read my profile where I state I have 3 YOUNG children. I get that some things are dealbreakers & some things are preferences. But, why the hell would I waste my time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with someone with kids? That is an absolute dealbreaker on my end.
And I agree with justme, that is not what we are talking about when we say copied & pasted response. You're reading the profile & at least indicating you are reading the profile by talking about her in some way. That is good.
someone actually took the time to message me that having kids was a dealbreaker. I said "not sure why you messaged me with that information, but okay." He then responded that I didn't have to respond, that I just had baggage and it's a turnoff. I didn't even reach out to this guy - he just found it necessary to point it out to me unprompted. I wanted to say "well stupid fucking douchebags are a dealbreaker for me, so I guess it all worked out", but I just ignored him. Wow! Some people are nuts
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Apr 21, 2015 14:52:10 GMT -5
I loved the ones I got from guys that didn't want kids or to date someone with kids. Ummm...you clearly didn't bother to read my profile where I state I have 3 YOUNG children. I get that some things are dealbreakers & some things are preferences. But, why the hell would I waste my time with someone that doesn't want to be involved with someone with kids? That is an absolute dealbreaker on my end.
And I agree with justme, that is not what we are talking about when we say copied & pasted response. You're reading the profile & at least indicating you are reading the profile by talking about her in some way. That is good.
someone actually took the time to message me that having kids was a dealbreaker. I said "not sure why you messaged me with that information, but okay." He then responded that I didn't have to respond, that I just had baggage and it's a turnoff. I didn't even reach out to this guy - he just found it necessary to point it out to me unprompted. I wanted to say " well stupid fucking douchebags are a dealbreaker for me, so I guess it all worked out", but I just ignored him. Please respond back to him with this, and report back. I need to live vicariously through others!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 14:52:15 GMT -5
yes, the whackos are alive and well.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 21, 2015 14:53:35 GMT -5
HAHAHA I would just loved to have recieved any replies to my emails. I have cancelled all of them now and will meet people organically.
I checked out POF to see what it was all about, started plenty of conversations that sizzled out. So cancelled my account. I was probably on there for about 3 weeks. At that time though I had a few people I had met IRL so was more focused on them.
I checked out match for two weeks then signed up for the pay service.....I got zero bites.....no weirdos....just no anything. So I cancelled that too but because I had paid for three months I am still able to be on there.
I have been texting with a guy from match.com for about three weeks and we will meet tonight.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 21, 2015 14:59:49 GMT -5
someone actually took the time to message me that having kids was a dealbreaker. I said "not sure why you messaged me with that information, but okay." He then responded that I didn't have to respond, that I just had baggage and it's a turnoff. I didn't even reach out to this guy - he just found it necessary to point it out to me unprompted. I wanted to say " well stupid fucking douchebags are a dealbreaker for me, so I guess it all worked out", but I just ignored him. Please respond back to him with this, and report back. I need to live vicariously through others! LMAO, he wasn't worth the effort I took to respond the first time, I'm not responding again. I just wish I thought of that the first time. He wasn't even remotely cute anyway, so it's not like I would have been interested to begin with.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 21, 2015 15:12:03 GMT -5
I have been texting with a guy from match.com for about three weeks and we will meet tonight. Good luck!
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 21, 2015 15:15:58 GMT -5
Thanks Angel. The texts have been fun and lighthearted, he gets my humor even through text (some guys haven't and we have actually had text arguments which is the stupidest thing ever) there was no sexual innuendos, no dic pics. He actually seems like a normal guy. Fingers crossed.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2015 15:20:31 GMT -5
... so you're wasting a lot of time if you invest in one e-mail. ... I read this posting and wanted to share a thought: What would happen if you read a profile, just any profile, and thought, "This could be her. My future wife and the mother of my children. The person that I will grow old with and the hand I will be holding when one of us moves on." How much time are you willing to invest in that one e-mail? And if you write that one e-mail, think the response rate might change? Just a thought. If you start thinking every woman online might be "the one" then you'll end up sorely disappointed. One thing I learned early on in dating is not to get your hopes up, you'll only end up hurt. Besides, if you start acting like "she's the one" it puts women off because you come across as desperate.
And as I mentioned before, most profiles don't really contain enough information to write a lengthy e-mail to begin with, unless you want to drone on about yourself that is.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 21, 2015 15:33:33 GMT -5
I read this posting and wanted to share a thought: What would happen if you read a profile, just any profile, and thought, "This could be her. My future wife and the mother of my children. The person that I will grow old with and the hand I will be holding when one of us moves on." How much time are you willing to invest in that one e-mail? And if you write that one e-mail, think the response rate might change? Just a thought. If you start thinking every woman online might be "the one" then you'll end up sorely disappointed. One thing I learned early on in dating is not to get your hopes up, you'll only end up hurt. Besides, if you start acting like "she's the one" it puts women off because you come across as desperate.
And as I mentioned before, most profiles don't really contain enough information to write a lengthy e-mail to begin with, unless you want to drone on about yourself that is.
I agree you shouldn't get your hopes up & try to go into it to have fun. But on the other side, I think the approach of throwing tons of shit at a wall & hoping something sticks is flawed also. Not saying that is what you are doing, but some guys definitely do.
Maybe my whole view of online dating is totally skewed because my experience doesn't seem to be like what most people are describing. I got a decent amount of emails (considering I am in my 30's with 3 kids - I was worried I would get none) & chatted with some of them, & went on 1 terrible date. When I realized no one that I was really interested in was emailing me I decided to step up & email a guy. Emailed 1 guy, he responded & we've been dating since. Everyone else's stories make me never want to be single again because it sounds like it won't go like that a second time around. I must either have been very lucky or I am very desperate with low standards, I hope it isn't the latter.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Apr 21, 2015 15:34:54 GMT -5
Please respond back to him with this, and report back. I need to live vicariously through others! LMAO, he wasn't worth the effort I took to respond the first time, I'm not responding again. I just wish I thought of that the first time. He wasn't even remotely cute anyway, so it's not like I would have been interested to begin with. O.o, This takes me way back to my online dating days. One time I got an email from a guy calling me a fraud, full of myself, and whatever else, I don't even remember. I replied that he had no idea who I was or anything about me, so who the hell did he think he was judging me, and basically told him to STFU. He came sniveling back about being intimidated, or me being hot, or something. I don't really remember, but a short time later a saw a story about some book or something giving guys dating tips. Basically, the point was to insult the girl so that she becomes desperate to prove him wrong or something? Since you say he wasn't even cute, I wonder if he was trying to pull that trick.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Apr 21, 2015 15:42:52 GMT -5
HAHAHA I would just loved to have recieved any replies to my emails. I have cancelled all of them now and will meet people organically. I checked out POF to see what it was all about, started plenty of conversations that sizzled out. So cancelled my account. I was probably on there for about 3 weeks. At that time though I had a few people I had met IRL so was more focused on them. I checked out match for two weeks then signed up for the pay service.....I got zero bites.....no weirdos....just no anything. So I cancelled that too but because I had paid for three months I am still able to be on there. I have been texting with a guy from match.com for about three weeks and we will meet tonight. Well, report back! We want ALL the details.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 21, 2015 15:44:20 GMT -5
WOw y'all are dating ? It has been over a year for me and today will be my first date and I am still not sure I am ready.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 21, 2015 15:45:27 GMT -5
Haha! Reminds me of an ex that in an attempt to win me over told me I'm lucky because he wants me and not the ten other girls falling all over him. I told him good you don't need me then! He changed his tune quick. I should have taken it as a sign though lol!
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Apr 21, 2015 15:55:04 GMT -5
... If you start thinking every woman online might be "the one" then you'll end up sorely disappointed. ... True. Until ...
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2015 16:00:56 GMT -5
If you start thinking every woman online might be "the one" then you'll end up sorely disappointed. One thing I learned early on in dating is not to get your hopes up, you'll only end up hurt. Besides, if you start acting like "she's the one" it puts women off because you come across as desperate.
And as I mentioned before, most profiles don't really contain enough information to write a lengthy e-mail to begin with, unless you want to drone on about yourself that is.
I agree you shouldn't get your hopes up & try to go into it to have fun. But on the other side, I think the approach of throwing tons of shit at a wall & hoping something sticks is flawed also. Not saying that is what you are doing, but some guys definitely do.
Maybe my whole view of online dating is totally skewed because my experience doesn't seem to be like what most people are describing. I got a decent amount of emails (considering I am in my 30's with 3 kids - I was worried I would get none) & chatted with some of them, & went on 1 terrible date. When I realized no one that I was really interested in was emailing me I decided to step up & email a guy. Emailed 1 guy, he responded & we've been dating since. Everyone else's stories make me never want to be single again because it sounds like it won't go like that a second time around. I must either have been very lucky or I am very desperate with low standards, I hope it isn't the latter.
Well, not the words I would use. I might call it a "compromise." I don't do mass e-mails and copy and paste, but I also don't spend 30 minutes on a single e-mail either, at least not the first one. I e-mail maybe 3-5 women a day, and the whole process maybe takes 30 minutes or so.
I actually have a date tonight. Since I don't have much hope that things will work out long term, I tend to try and focus on the here and now, focus on having a good time tonight, and trying to enjoy the company of a young lady at dinner. After all, that's something I can enjoy and get excited about.
I just try to have fun as it comes, and hope that some day things might work out.
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