gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 12, 2014 14:15:04 GMT -5
So, anyone who is either employed or stays at home during school hours, is a "full-time" parent while everyone else is just a part-timer or no-timer. Seriously the dumbest thing I've ever read.
What about the stay at homes who send their kids over to the grandparents house a few days a week for some grandparent bonding or to get a "break." It seems like they should be dinged for that, but maybe it's okay since they aren't using that time for work.
Many "daycares" are actually pre-schools, so just like in k-12 school, they are learning and have defined curricula. I know stay at home moms who send their kids to pre-schools for the socialization and education, but I guess they still get to be "full-time" parents because they aren't collecting a paycheck during those hours.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 12, 2014 14:16:45 GMT -5
I define full time parenting as full time parenting. It's not a nuanced term, and it's not that complicated to understand. If you can work during school hours which are what? 7:00 to 3:00 give or take 30 minutes? Then that's great. In the Naperville, IL area we used to live in, we were surrounded by what I call "7 to 7s". Their kids are in someone else's care from dark to dark. And, then I supposed neither parent is supposed to work when they have kids under 5? Damn, that would be nice. We have our kids very spaced out..we're doing diapers for a decade. I'm also wondering how you actively parent your kid while they are in school and how exactly you care for them while they are in school and you are at your job? BTW: We're full time parents. I work 55 hours a week and DH works 20. My school aged kids don't need before/after care. We use preschool as daycare for the littlest. So, is this good or bad. I'm confused.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Dec 12, 2014 14:27:43 GMT -5
BTW: We're full time parents. I work 55 hours a week and DH works 20. My school aged kids don't need before/after care. We use preschool as daycare for the littlest. So, is this good or bad. I'm confused.
No, giramomma, YOU'RE not a full time parent because some of those hours are outside the home. Your DH *might* qualify as a full time parent but only if his hours are worked solely from home (preferably when the kids are in school). Let's get that straight.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 12, 2014 14:33:47 GMT -5
When the school called me the other day when I was my full time job, I told them to go away and not bother me, I'm working at my full time job and I'm not scheduled to take care of my kids right now. Yeah, and the laundry wasn't running while I was working, and Amazon fresh wasn't putting together the groceries I ordered so I could make dinner when I was at home, and her college fund wasn't getting contributions from my earnings, and.... oh wait. Does that sound silly?
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 12, 2014 14:35:06 GMT -5
He is probably just happy you didn't marry a deadbeat and your husband is making money and helping to support the family and that is his way of expressing that. Not going to get into it- the larger point is that "stay at home" is a misnomer. A full time job as a homemaker isn't sitting around the house. I can't believe I'm having to argue this point- especially with women. The point... you missed it.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 12, 2014 14:35:46 GMT -5
I have to commend him, though, for managing to insult BOTH stay at home parents and working parents in one fell swoop. Usually one group sucks more than the other. But no, apparently both are doing it wrong. Parents who "just" stay home to parent their children full time and parents who work outside the home and parent part time should both be working paying jobs from home and parenting their children at the same time. Who knew? Bow down to the master of the universe!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 14:45:32 GMT -5
Not going to get into it- the larger point is that "stay at home" is a misnomer. A full time job as a homemaker isn't sitting around the house. I can't believe I'm having to argue this point- especially with women.
The point you think you're making is very different than the point you're actually making. In fact, it's pretty much the OPPOSITE point. ETA: A person who works a paying job from home and due to flexible hours can be with their children during the day is not the same as a person who does not work any sort of paying job in order to be with their children during the day. Not saying either one is better, but they're two totally different things. Newsflash: Most people, if they had the option of a flexible job they could do from home and still look after their kids, would rather do that than a "7 to 7" job outside their home. very few companies let you work from home without having childcare in place.....you are expected to be doing your job during work hours, not tending to your child - nothing like hearing a screaming toddler on a conference call.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 12, 2014 14:55:15 GMT -5
Not going to get into it- the larger point is that "stay at home" is a misnomer. A full time job as a homemaker isn't sitting around the house. I can't believe I'm having to argue this point- especially with women.
The point you think you're making is very different than the point you're actually making. In fact, it's pretty much the OPPOSITE point. ETA: A person who works a paying job from home and due to flexible hours can be with their children during the day is not the same as a person who does not work any sort of paying job in order to be with their children during the day. Not saying either one is better, but they're two totally different things. Newsflash: Most people, if they had the option of a flexible job they could do from home and still look after their kids, would rather do that than a "7 to 7" job outside their home. very few companies let you work from home without having childcare in place.....you are expected to be doing your job during work hours, not tending to your child - nothing like hearing a screaming toddler on a conference call. Anything that let me work from home with children in tow would be a "jobette" not a "j-o-b."
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 12, 2014 14:58:54 GMT -5
Not going to get into it- the larger point is that "stay at home" is a misnomer. A full time job as a homemaker isn't sitting around the house. I can't believe I'm having to argue this point- especially with women.
The point you think you're making is very different than the point you're actually making. In fact, it's pretty much the OPPOSITE point. ETA: A person who works a paying job from home and due to flexible hours can be with their children during the day is not the same as a person who does not work any sort of paying job in order to be with their children during the day. Not saying either one is better, but they're two totally different things. Newsflash: Most people, if they had the option of a flexible job they could do from home and still look after their kids, would rather do that than a "7 to 7" job outside their home. very few companies let you work from home without having childcare in place.....you are expected to be doing your job during work hours, not tending to your child - nothing like hearing a screaming toddler on a conference call. Forget about the companies, I would stab myself if I had to do a full time job AND take care of a kid at home. I worked from home full time after DD was born. After my FMLA of 12 weeks was up, off to daycare went DD. My employer is very flexible and very family friendly. But there is nothing more embarassing than being on a conference call with a kid screaming/crying/gurgling/laughing in the back. Makes you feel like a lousy employee.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2014 15:01:43 GMT -5
Clearly all you people are clueless and work for "the man". If you were smart and proper parents you'd invent your own job where you only have to spend 4 hours a week doing actual work. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 12, 2014 15:05:36 GMT -5
Clearly all you people are stupid and work for "the man". If you were smart people and proper parents you'd invent your own job where you only have to spend 4 hours a week doing actual work. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) But that would make a "1/10th" of a parent, per Paul ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) . To be a "full time" parent you need to train OTHER people so THEY can neglect their kids and do your job for you, while you be a "full time" parent and rake in the millions. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2014 15:06:28 GMT -5
I bow to your wisdom! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/worship.gif)
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 12, 2014 15:07:09 GMT -5
I guess I don't really care who considers me a part-time parent. DD loves daycare and they take excellent care of her. We are able to spend 3 or 4 quality hours a day together during the week and then all day on the weekend. But by Sunday night, I'm ready to go back to work -- toddlers are exhausting. Giving us a break from each other lets me recharge and lets her get plenty of interaction with other adults and kids. She is a friendly little extrovert, the complete opposite of both parents.
If I were a "full time parent" per Paul's definition, both DD and I would be worse off for it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2014 15:10:28 GMT -5
DD loves daycare and they take excellent care of herWhatever you gotta tell yourself so you can sleep at night. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:11:28 GMT -5
I wish they made daycare for teens.....I wouldn't mind sending mine away for a week or 2 :-)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:12:17 GMT -5
I wish they made daycare for teens.....I wouldn't mind sending mine away for a week or 2 :-) Camp.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:12:53 GMT -5
I wish they made daycare for teens.....I wouldn't mind sending mine away for a week or 2 :-) Camp. they're too old now
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:14:00 GMT -5
WHAT?!? They get too old for camp? Say it isn't so?
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 12, 2014 15:19:26 GMT -5
College?!? You mean a liberal indoctrination camp? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:20:13 GMT -5
College?!? You mean a liberal indoctrination camp? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) or camp for teens (but only if they go away LOL)
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 12, 2014 15:21:07 GMT -5
I like the turn this thread has taken.
Now we only need to start discussing homeschooling, unschooling and public schools and invite formerroomate to the discussion. And then we will all be hippie dippie bunch of YM folks!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:23:52 GMT -5
I like the turn this thread has taken. Now we only need to start discussing homeschooling, unschooling and public schools and invite formerroomate to the discussion. And then we will all be hippie dippie bunch of YM folks! no birkenstocks!
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Dec 12, 2014 15:26:54 GMT -5
You all can have the discussion where you pretend to not know what full time vs. part time parent means among yourselves.
I simply choose to reject the passive label of SAHM in favor of full time mom (or dad, or parent). It's not a difficult concept.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Dec 12, 2014 15:28:21 GMT -5
You all can have the discussion where you pretend to not know what full time vs. part time parent means among yourselves. I simply choose to reject the passive label of SAHM in favor of full time mom (or dad, or parent). It's not a difficult concept. By your definition, your kids no longer have a full time parent once they are in school.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Dec 12, 2014 15:31:24 GMT -5
Not going to get into it- the larger point is that "stay at home" is a misnomer. A full time job as a homemaker isn't sitting around the house. I can't believe I'm having to argue this point- especially with women.
The point you think you're making is very different than the point you're actually making. In fact, it's pretty much the OPPOSITE point. ETA: A person who works a paying job from home and due to flexible hours can be with their children during the day is not the same as a person who does not work any sort of paying job in order to be with their children during the day. Not saying either one is better, but they're two totally different things. Newsflash: Most people, if they had the option of a flexible job they could do from home and still look after their kids, would rather do that than a "7 to 7" job outside their home. very few companies let you work from home without having childcare in place.....you are expected to be doing your job during work hours, not tending to your child - nothing like hearing a screaming toddler on a conference call. If you've got younger children who are not in school, I don't think it's possible to work and parent at the same time for the reasons you suggest.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 12, 2014 15:32:48 GMT -5
I can agree (and I think Oped said this as well) that the term "stay at home parent" can be a misnomer, since staying at home is not required or even preferable.
But unless you homeschool/unschool your kids and don't allow them to have a social life or take part in activities without you, no one is a "full time" parent.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Dec 12, 2014 15:40:38 GMT -5
I tend to agree. My wife works, she makes good money-- but we both have arranged our work around our family and not the other way around. We both work remotely- no need to go to an office. This means that full time parenting-- which is how I define kids not needing full time day care / after care on a regular basis, etc.
That's wonderful for you. Not everyone has that option. Are you seriously naive enough not to understand that? Well, it wouldn't be the first time. I think I'm starting to figure out what the problem is here. We're talking about two different things. I am simply providing a statement of fact: a person's priorities, as well as the allocation of their time determines whether parenting is a full time or part time responsibility for that person. It's not a judgment. It doesn't require any compassion or understanding. It just is. Of course I understand that someone in a household has to work full time, and often times families require two people working to support their chosen lifestyle. I feel like I'm stuck in another circular argument where what I'm saying cannot possibly be true because it's interpreted as a value judgment. So what if it is? I can only speak for myself. If you feel differently, and you're OK with your decisions-- what difference does it make what I think? Honestly, some of you need to get comfortable in your own skin. Be confident in who you are. Don't let some guy on a discussion board rattle you. Jeeze.
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Dec 12, 2014 15:41:17 GMT -5
I can agree (and I think Oped said this as well) that the term "stay at home parent" can be a misnomer, since staying at home is not required or even preferable. But unless you homeschool/unschool your kids and don't allow them to have a social life or take part in activities without you, no one is a "full time" parent. Call it full time homemaker, then.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Dec 12, 2014 15:44:57 GMT -5
I tend to agree. My wife works, she makes good money-- but we both have arranged our work around our family and not the other way around. We both work remotely- no need to go to an office. This means that full time parenting-- which is how I define kids not needing full time day care / after care on a regular basis, etc. I define full time parenting as full time parenting. It's not a nuanced term, and it's not that complicated to understand. If you can work during school hours which are what? 7:00 to 3:00 give or take 30 minutes? Then that's great. So....you still send your kids to school for 6-7 hours/day? That horrible, liberal indoctrination camp that really just functions as a babysitter for your little ones? Seems to me a real full-time parent (per your definition) would home-school their kids. Sorry, but by your own definition I don't think you would qualify as a 'full-time parent'. But, whatever you want to believe that makes you feel like you are a better parent than others. And feel free to make up definitions while you are at it to insult others. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2014 15:47:38 GMT -5
I'm a full time human (of the female variety), with kids and a job. I give as much of myself as is necessary to each. Good enough? ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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