The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Dec 3, 2014 14:04:27 GMT -5
I pity the poor fool who EVER says anything negative about DD in front of me.
Ever.
I keep the filter on for a lot of stuff, but you mess with my kid and all bets are off.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,372
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Dec 3, 2014 14:22:44 GMT -5
I pity the poor fool who EVER says anything negative about DD in front of me. Ever. I keep the filter on for a lot of stuff, but you mess with my kid and all bets are off. your kid is not perfect.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Dec 3, 2014 14:33:56 GMT -5
I pity the poor fool who EVER says anything negative about DD in front of me. Ever. I keep the filter on for a lot of stuff, but you mess with my kid and all bets are off. your kid is not perfect. Of course not, and constructive criticism is welcome (as it is meant to have a positive impact) Negative comments meant to shame will be dealt with as appropriate. ESPECIALLY when it comes to a young girls appearance.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 3, 2014 14:42:11 GMT -5
I do love my mom, but she's a big reason why I've struggled with an eating disorder for 2/3 of my life. Even when I was a trim teen, I had boobs and a butt. I think I wore a size 5? Tops? No fat anywhere. I remember at 16 she told me if I ever looked in a mirror, I'd never eat again. Now I'm 30 and a size 10-12. I could stand to lose 30 lbs or so. I'm semi-actively working on it. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) She's a size 2 and avoids eating whenever possible to remain so. Even now, when I visit her, I will leave her house to eat so that she doesn't see me eating and judge me for it, out loud or to herself. Her husband, with his giant belly, always makes comments about my "fat aunt" and how she's "so disgusting" and "no wonder her husband wants to divorce her." She's not much bigger than I am. Mom will call me just to complain about how fat she's getting: she might need to buy a size 4. I've told her over and over that it makes me uncomfortable but she won't hear it. I'm so sorry. I think we have the same mom. She always nicknamed me "big butt" when I was a kid... when I graduated from high school I was 5'5" and 115 lbs and ended up being a college athlete. Not fat. She still does it today, 20 years later. I remember one time she was gloating that she weighed less than me. I was playing Divison 1 college soccer and weighed around 140 lbs and my fat percentage was less than 15%. I lifted weights 3 times a week and was rock hard. I tried explaining the concept of fat weighing less than muscle, but she just kept asking how I could be a size 6 and she was a size 10 when I outweighed her. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) Even now... if she buys me clothing, she send me a size 8 (I'm a 6, always have been). It's absolutely amazing I have any self esteem at all.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 3, 2014 14:46:54 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and I forgot how much she would ask me about how much I weighed when I was pregnant, and how much had I gained, and how much I had lost afterwards.
Like having a baby just isn't enough, you have to suffer the grand fucking inquisition about your fat storage.
I only gained 23 pounds but only lost about half after giving birth. And it stuck for a long time, despite that I breastfed around the clock. My body did not drop that weight until after I weaned (and quite a bit after that such as it was).
I still fit into my old clothes 10lbs heavy. I was not in my maternity clothes more than a month after giving birth, so I thought that was good. I did have to buy new larger tops to fit the breastfeeding girls in when I went back to work...
|
|
Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
Posts: 50,108
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IZlZ65.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Text Color: 290066
|
Post by Jaguar on Dec 3, 2014 14:50:30 GMT -5
So sorry.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,542
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 3, 2014 14:54:21 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and I forgot how much she would ask me about how much I weighed when I was pregnant, and how much had I gained
My MIL did that to me. She'd make comments about how I needed to make sure I wasn't eating for two or that she read in a book that I should only gain X amount of pounds in each trimester. She wanted to know what my doctor said about my weight gain, she'd want to know what I was eating. If we had dinner down there comments would be made if I ate more than one serving. It was ridiculous. What pisses me off the most about all of it was that DH never stood up to her. He's got this real hang-up about "creating drama" with his family members. Uh your mother is trying to fat shame your pregnant wife if there is any time to "create drama" this would be the time.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Dec 3, 2014 15:06:07 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and I forgot how much she would ask me about how much I weighed when I was pregnant, and how much had I gained, and how much I had lost afterwards. Like having a baby just isn't enough, you have to suffer the grand fucking inquisition about your fat storage. I only gained 23 pounds but only lost about half after giving birth. And it stuck for a long time, despite that I breastfed around the clock. My body did not drop that weight until after I weaned (and quite a bit after that such as it was). I still fit into my old clothes 10lbs heavy. I was not in my maternity clothes more than a month after giving birth, so I thought that was good. I did have to buy new larger tops to fit the breastfeeding girls in when I went back to work... If you were my sister in law, your mom and I would have it out by now. Just unacceptable. I gained 55 pounds (I think, I never actually looked at the scale) and nobody said a word to me, including my doctor. I must put out a vibe or shut it down fast. Of course, I don't talk about food choices or weight ever, so that probably helps. People should join fat-shaming message boards and diet communities to find like-minded people if they insist on having these conversations. And, what's up with Archie? There was once a time when he actually contributed more than mean-spirited one-liners.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,372
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Dec 3, 2014 15:07:52 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and I forgot how much she would ask me about how much I weighed when I was pregnant, and how much had I gained, and how much I had lost afterwards. Like having a baby just isn't enough, you have to suffer the grand fucking inquisition about your fat storage. I only gained 23 pounds but only lost about half after giving birth. And it stuck for a long time, despite that I breastfed around the clock. My body did not drop that weight until after I weaned (and quite a bit after that such as it was). I still fit into my old clothes 10lbs heavy. I was not in my maternity clothes more than a month after giving birth, so I thought that was good. I did have to buy new larger tops to fit the breastfeeding girls in when I went back to work... If you were my sister in law, your mom and I would have it out by now. Just unacceptable. I gained 55 pounds (I think, I never actually looked at the scale) and nobody said a word to me, including my doctor. I must put out a vibe or shut it down fast. Of course, I don't talk about food choices or weight ever, so that probably helps. People should join fat-shaming message boards and diet communities to find like-minded people if they insist on having these conversations. And, what's up with Archie? There was once a time when he actually contributed more than mean-spirited one-liners. Unfortunately it is all I have time for these days.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 3, 2014 15:23:52 GMT -5
If you were my sister in law, your mom and I would have it out by now. Just unacceptable. I gained 55 pounds (I think, I never actually looked at the scale) and nobody said a word to me, including my doctor. I must put out a vibe or shut it down fast. Of course, I don't talk about food choices or weight ever, so that probably helps. People should join fat-shaming message boards and diet communities to find like-minded people if they insist on having these conversations. And, what's up with Archie? There was once a time when he actually contributed more than mean-spirited one-liners. Unfortunately it is all I have time for these days. Lol, he's just trying to be a smartass. Sometimes it goes over better than others. I kind of appreciate the effort, as most of the funny/smartasses have either left or are much more subdued on the boards.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on Dec 3, 2014 15:33:50 GMT -5
Archie is just joshing.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Dec 3, 2014 15:40:15 GMT -5
I know he's kidding, I just recall a time when he offered more than one-liners. I suppose one-liners is better than nothing. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 21,615
|
Post by giramomma on Dec 3, 2014 15:43:06 GMT -5
So sorry.This. Every time my mom went on a weight loss kick, I had to eat what she ate and exercise with her, to support her. I wish I could go back to my 15 year old self. And tell her that OMG, kid, you are not fat. (Because why else would your mother restrict your diet to a 200 calorie breakfast, 200 calorie lunch, and make you exercise with her for an hour every day?) I'd tell my 15 year old self to go ahead and try out for the pom pom squad. And maybe the dance team in college. I didn't do these things, in part, because of my weight. And, in part because the "good, smart" kids didn't do these sorts of activities. And then the competition. Because my mom's goal was to be able to wear my clothing. "Just you wait until I can wear this dress of yours! Or That dress of yours!" Cripes, I couldn't even have a closet of clothing to call my own without my mom making it about her. I'm really overweight now. How I am now, is how I saw myself in high school. Such a waste, to not know the difference until it was too late. My DD1 does have some weight issues. We handle it in a far differently than how I was raised.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on Dec 3, 2014 15:46:26 GMT -5
How many posters on here seriously think they're overweight? Not just the 5-10 pounds but very. Why do you think that? Are you really or do you just think it? Are you okay with it as in made peace with it or are you trying to lose it?
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 15:51:53 GMT -5
What pisses me off the most about all of it was that DH never stood up to her. He's got this real hang-up about "creating drama" with his family members. Uh your mother is trying to fat shame your pregnant wife if there is any time to "create drama" this would be the time.
No kidding. It would really, really bother me if DH let his family make those comments to me. I would never let anyone speak to him that way.
Actually, a few years ago we took a picture which I posted on Facebook, and my uncle decided it would be a good idea to say something like "Wow [DH] you've gained some weight huh?" Luckily DH hardly ever goes on Facebook, so he didn't see it before I deleted it. I never said anything to my uncle but I figure he saw that I deleted the comment and he's never said anything like that since. Sometimes you don't have to be nasty to deflect that kind of nonsense.
(I did cut this particular uncle some slack since he's very sick and the illness definitely eats away at what little social filter he has. There are family members who would have received a VERY irate PM from me in addition to having their comment deleted if they said anything like that.)
I'm really overweight now. How I am now, is how I saw myself in high school. Such a waste, to not know the difference until it was too late.
Totally. This is me too. I'm like "WTF? I couldn't have weighed more than 140 and I thought that was fat! I would kick puppies to weigh that now!"
|
|
Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
Posts: 50,108
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IZlZ65.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Text Color: 290066
|
Post by Jaguar on Dec 3, 2014 15:52:24 GMT -5
I'm between 20 to 30 lbs overweight, I'm losing mine cause I always feel better. I'm doing it FOR ME.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 15:58:29 GMT -5
How many posters on here seriously think they're overweight? Not just the 5-10 pounds but very. Why do you think that? Are you really or do you just think it? Are you okay with it as in made peace with it or are you trying to lose it?
I'm overweight. No question. My ideal weight is 40-60 pounds less than I weigh now. It happened gradually. I've never been heavier than I am now but this is almost exactly how much I weighed at the end of my pregnancy with Babybird. I did lose that weight, and then some, but it came back.
I vacillate between attempting to "make peace" with it (and by that I mean accept myself regardless of what I weigh, and not attempt to police everything that I put in my mouth) and attempting to "fix" myself because no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot accept myself and be happy at this weight. I don't look good. I know it.
I lost about 30 pounds last year by cutting out white flour carbs completely. No pizza, no bread, no crackers. I also severely limited dairy. It was great. But I couldn't keep it up indefinitely. Pretty much the second I had a slice of pizza the weight came back with a vengeance.
So yes, I'm still working on it. But I have to be very careful with diet and exercise since I do have a history of being anorexic and bulimic. With people like me who tend to take things to extremes, it's really really tough to do things like carbs "in moderation." Even "moderate" eating of carbs does not seem to allow me to lose weight. Cutting them completely did the trick all right, but I know I can't live like that forever.
I do exercise but even working out 5 days a week doesn't cause me to lose weight unless I am also off carbs. Very frustrating. I'm not sure what to do.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on Dec 3, 2014 16:01:37 GMT -5
I have always felt that that's the only way people really do lose weight. When THEY want to, not when others think they should. I've fought ten pounds forever. On someone as short as me, it might as well be twenty. I hated how I looked and finally did something about it. I'm so happy now. But I had to want to do it. I'm still an old broad and naked, I look it, but in clothes, I ROCK!!
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on Dec 3, 2014 16:04:31 GMT -5
It's tough after kids. After DS it was easy because I had no time to eat anything! DD, it took awhile. A long while. Finally got there then menopause. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/sad.png) . That threw me out of whack big time. Now I'm happy. I look good to me and that's what matters.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 16:08:47 GMT -5
That's all I want, is to look good to me again. I know if I cut carbs again I could be down 20 pounds or so by Valentine's Day but I would prefer not to do it by another crash diet. I dunno. It's really hard. I'm ridiculously jealous of thin people right now. I try not to dwell on it but the truth is that when I see someone, my first impulse is to judge them fatter or thinner than me. I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me for getting fat. It's not pretty. And even less pretty is the fact that I was just as obsessed with this back when I was thin.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 21,615
|
Post by giramomma on Dec 3, 2014 16:09:33 GMT -5
How many posters on here seriously think they're overweight? Not just the 5-10 pounds but very. Why do you think that? Are you really or do you just think it? Are you okay with it as in made peace with it or are you trying to lose it? I'm over 200lbs. My ideal weight is 135-140. So, yes, I am overweight. I do things, I mean, really do them when I am ready to. I'm not sure that I'm ready to lose the weight yet. And, it's OK. When I am, I will know it. And, who knows, maybe I'll never be ready. I also have PCOS, which doesn't help. I seriously wish it was an issue of eating too much ice cream, cake, and a bag of chips a day, and eating at McDonalds three times a week. I have been trying to get rid of some bad eating habits. I don't eat out of boredom at work anymore. That seems to have curbed my appetite. Between this and cutting down my carbs (most of the time I only have carbs as fresh fruit for lunch and then a serving of fruit for dinner, and maybe a roll), I have lost a couple of pounds. More noticeable is that I've needed to tighten up my belt a couple of notches. My next step is to work some exercise in. And, that, indeed is the stumbling block. I'm already up at 5. Getting up at 4 really does nothing for me. But, we do have BILs wedding coming up, and I'd like to lose a little before then.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Dec 3, 2014 16:14:01 GMT -5
I think I'm overweight. I'm actually obese. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) I weighed about 80 lbs less when I started college. My ideal weight (for me, for others, this would be on the heavy side) is about 40 lbs less. I am 10 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight. Started spending time on an elliptical when my kid is in daycare, and on weekdays when he is home, we walk about 3 miles. Diet has gotten better since we moved out here, although I threw it out the window last week for mashed potatoes and stuffing. (mmmm...stuffing.) My focus is more on the working out/stamina/ getting back into martial arts(which I abandoned for anxiety issues) than the weight. I actually feel better in my body than I did when slim. I'm fat. Fuck it. My husband married me fat and never knew me thin and is attracted to me...supports my health goals and urges me to make good choices with food, but isn't a nag. Clothes fit me because my proportions aren't weird anymore, just large. (20 inch waist, 38 inch hips in high school. Clothes didn't fit off the rack = body image issues.) I am semi-actively working to improve, but I'm not all torn up about it.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 16:14:23 GMT -5
I seriously wish it was an issue of eating too much ice cream, cake, and a bag of chips a day, and eating at McDonalds three times a week.
Yeah... I almost envy people who have one "really obviously unhealthy" habit and that's all they need to eliminate. I had a friend who ate a pretty healthy diet except for the half-gallon or so of soda she consumed every day. She was pretty overweight. Finally ditched the soda, and she lost like 45 pounds practically overnight. It was kind of stunning. With me, it's just carbs. All the carbs. I could happily go the rest of my life with no ice cream, cookies, cake, soda, or candy if I could eat all the white flour I wanted with no consequence. (Actually, that sounds pretty reasonable to me. I'm going to ask the Fat Gods if they'll allow me to make that bargain ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png) ) This conversation is making me happy that it's raining outside. I love to run in the rain. I think I'm going to go tonight when I get home.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,542
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 3, 2014 16:15:30 GMT -5
husband married me fat and never knew me thin and is attracted to me...supports my health goals and urges me to make good choices with food, but isn't a nag.That's how I am with DH. I wish that he would stop hearing his mom's voice in his head and listen to mine instead. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png)
|
|
moneymaven
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 10:05:04 GMT -5
Posts: 1,864
|
Post by moneymaven on Dec 3, 2014 16:21:13 GMT -5
I'm overweight. I was in a car accident in 2013 and had a few surgeries as a result. Over the 18 months of not being allowed to do much due to the injuries sustained, I gained 40 pounds (15 of which I had lost in the months prior). I'm back to getting myself to a healthy for me weight. I've lost 13 so far with diet and exercise and am working closely with a nutritionist and trainer. It's a journey but I am doing it for myself!
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 16:23:18 GMT -5
I actually don't find fat people unattractive. It's so stupid. I'll inwardly judge them but at the same time I sometimes find them really pretty/handsome. Back when I was 20 (and skinny) I dated a guy who was really, really big. And I was massively attracted to him from day one. He had this charisma and energy that was out of control. Not to mention, HE thought he was attractive. There's no overstating how much that kind of self-confidence can drive how one appears to others. Honestly, I can't even imagine him thin. I think that would be very bizarre to see. He wore his weight so well. One person I work with now is a big lady. I happen to think she's gorgeous. It really makes me stabby the way society has equated fat with ugly. (Maybe the answer is for me to borrow some of that ex's self-confidence ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png) )
|
|
lexxy703
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 26, 2011 13:52:17 GMT -5
Posts: 13,771
|
Post by lexxy703 on Dec 3, 2014 16:24:20 GMT -5
My brother & SIL almost got divorced over her fat shaming my 14 yo niece. My SIL panicked when she herself gets up to 100lb which is way thin for her. She is always commenting on what my niece eats & started calling her chunky monkey. She has a perfectly healthy cute little figure. She does cheerleading & plays volley ball so she does have muscle tone. My brother was afraid all her constant nagging & negative comments was going to push my niece to have an eating disorder or at the very least esteem issues.
|
|
CarolinaKat
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:10:37 GMT -5
Posts: 6,364
|
Post by CarolinaKat on Dec 3, 2014 16:27:27 GMT -5
Oh yeah, and I forgot how much she would ask me about how much I weighed when I was pregnant, and how much had I gained
My MIL did that to me. She'd make comments about how I needed to make sure I wasn't eating for two or that she read in a book that I should only gain X amount of pounds in each trimester. She wanted to know what my doctor said about my weight gain, she'd want to know what I was eating. If we had dinner down there comments would be made if I ate more than one serving. It was ridiculous. What pisses me off the most about all of it was that DH never stood up to her. He's got this real hang-up about "creating drama" with his family members. Uh your mother is trying to fat shame your pregnant wife if there is any time to "create drama" this would be the time.
How did you not throw food at her? I mean I'm being serious, how did you not?
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,542
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 3, 2014 16:32:13 GMT -5
How did you not throw food at her? I mean I'm being serious, how did you not
10 years has taught me A LOT of patience. Plus I know I am not fat, nor was I fat when I was pregnant. I gained 25 lbs which is textbook for someone of my pre-pregnancy size.
I had a decision to make at one point I could either run for the hills or accept DH's family dynamics are seriously whacked. I'd LOVE to tear her a new one over the fat shaming but I put DH's wishes over my own.
At least when it comes to himself and me. If Gwen or Abby ever start calling themselves fat and I find out his mom is the source then hell will hath no fury. I told DH I don't give a f*ck about his "family drama" phobia. I've seen what her comments have done to him and she will not do that to our children. If he doesn't have the balls to stop it then I will.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on Dec 3, 2014 16:35:06 GMT -5
10 years has taught me A LOT of patience. Plus I know I am not fat, nor was I fat when I was pregnant. I gained 25 lbs which is textbook for someone of my pre-pregnancy size.
So what DID you say? Did you just change the subject? I can't even imagine how awkward that would have been. And God forbid if you were actually fat and those comments were really hurting your feelings.
|
|