yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Dec 2, 2014 10:02:42 GMT -5
Ironically, I am a lot more worried about my oldest. He was the tiniest baby and now is very skinny, but he is a carbon copy for my husband and that entire family is fat fat fat. My husband said that he started getting fat around 7-8 yrs old. I know a lot of it had to do with not liking his school and his mother, the brilliant mind that she is ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) would feed him donuts on the way to school. And the diet they kept at home was horrible. But if genes have anything to do with it, I am worried that my oldest will have lots of problems with weight. My youngest actually takes after my side of the family, so I am hoping he will slim down later. I am curious if there is an equal-opportunity fat shaming going on for girls and boys. I don't think it is equal opportunity. I also think being a little chubby with mostly good eating habits is way different than constantly eating doritos and sliding towards obese.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 2, 2014 10:03:41 GMT -5
Oh, but I would have paid to hear you do it! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif) Unreal, how the Food Police have joined forces with the Fat Shamers and formed one big storm trooper unit. Saddens me to no end, and I don't even have kids. Where does this end? It doesn't, really. I've been fat-shamed as an adult. A few years ago, running in a 5K, I passed a mother and daughter; the kid was about 7 years old. The mother pointed at me and yelled at the girl, "Run faster! Do you want the fat lady to beat you?" The fat lady did beat them, by the way. Sadly, the mother continued to berate the kid at the finish line. Way to go, mom of the year candidate. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) Pick on a total stranger and harass your own little girl.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 2, 2014 10:06:05 GMT -5
MIL fat shames DH (he actually is overweight). She says some pretty mean things to him sometimes. The thing that boggles my brain is she thinks she is HELPING by saying these things to DH. She has no clue whatsoever that she's verbally abusing him. I want to punch her in the face when she gets on her soapbox. #1 he's my husband and I don't like him being talked to like that #2 I can't fathom saying some of the things she does to my kids, you're not supposed to do that to your kids. Personally, I would have slammed your MIL topside the head with that soapbox a long time ago. Fatshaming her son and granddaughters and DIL? Does this woman have anything else to do?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 2, 2014 10:09:41 GMT -5
My sister first started noticing how many sweets the kids eat at school when her 2nd grader got 3 cavities in a year and she and the dentist couldn't figure out why. They'd looked at and ruled out all the usual suspects. Then the dentist asked if little guy ate gummy bears or similar candy since those sticky candies are some of the worst for giving cavities. My sis answered no, very rarely but little guy piped up that he only ate 5-6 a day at school. So sis asked where he got them and he explained that the teacher gave them as rewards for good behavior or correct answers. On the face of it, who would object to a kid getting a single gummy bear as a reward? Hardly anybody, right? The problem was arising because when you examined the whole day's activities, it wasn't just one and they started to add up especially over a period of days and weeks. That's similar to what's going on with the sweets in some classes. Most people wouldn't object to a cupcake, but the problem is coming in when it's not just a cupcake. It's a cupcake for a birthday plus the gummies given as a reward in Ms. Smith's class plus the chocolate croissant the French Club sells in the morning plus the dessert at lunch plus....
Just out of curiosity, I spent a little more time in my own son's class and it was surprising over the course of a day how much sugar was handed out and available. Do I think that schools should outlaw all sugar? No. That's not practical and also makes sugar one of those forbidden fruits that will be incredibly tempting to kids. But on the other hand, if we can encourage schools to reduce the sugar that would be great.
See, there's a difference, though in our schools. Food is not used as a reward at our school. I'm in the kids' school enough to know this. So, when I mean treats for birthdays, that is literally, it. In DD's class, she has a kid that has severe milk and nut allergies. So that really limits what the class can bring in. For sweets it's either oreos or organic lolly-pops. The teacher is super paranoid about food because she doesn't want her kid going into anaphylactic shock. There are, on average 20 kids in my childrens' classes, and they have treats for Halloween, Christmas, and Valentines day. So, yes, I do think it is a bit much when a mother gets up and says essentially, "If my kids get treats on 25 days of a 180 day school year, I cannot offer them desert at home." Upon further reflection, I also find it interesting that these same parents don't ask teachers to stop showing movies, video clips, etc in class and to ask the teachers to stop having the kids use Prezi etc to make presentations. Because, by that same rule, kids would be using up most of their screen time at school, and therefore, parents would also not be able to let their kids have any screen time at home. So, the message is boatloads of technology (too the point of being too much, IMVHO) is good, but a container of oreos (if that) over 9 months is bad.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 2, 2014 10:10:15 GMT -5
Does this woman have anything else to doNot usually. The latest one was DH has psoriasis because he's fat, she read it on Google. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) I've told DH how angry it makes me that she does that to him but he doesn't want me saying anything to her. I can't make him stand up to her and even though it kills me I stand by his request. All bets are off when it comes to the kids though.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 2, 2014 10:15:58 GMT -5
Does this woman have anything else to doNot usually. The latest one was DH has psoriasis because he's fat, she read it on Google. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) I've told DH how angry it makes me that she does that to him but he doesn't want me saying anything to her. I can't make him stand up to her and even though it kills me I stand by his request. All bets are off when it comes to the kids though. As it should be.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 2, 2014 10:17:31 GMT -5
The thing that boggles my brain is she thinks she is HELPING by saying these things to DH. She has no clue whatsoever that she's verbally abusing him. My mom does that too. Except I think my mom does have a clue about how hurtful she can be. Once she told my DH that if he REALLY loved me, he'd make me lose weight.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 2, 2014 10:20:41 GMT -5
How odd Milee. The 1st grade class is snack free. The b-day treats I hear about tend to be popcorn or a bag of homemade mix (you know, start with cheerios and pretzel sticks and go from there) there might be a mini-cupcake or a couple of cookies but the teacher is VERY anti-sugar and anti-messy foods in her classroom. She's actually a bit of a pill but she seems to be a solid teacher and oddly, my daughter likes her. The teacher finds this odd too, by the way, it came up at parent teacher conferences. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png) My son's K4 class is different. I mean, it's K4. The snacks are supposed to be fairly healthy. We usually let DS pick a snack pack of pretzels. I don't believe she rewards with candy for small things during the day. When DD had her, there was a Friday pickbag that started later in the school year. If you had 10 tokens, the kid got to pick something out of a bag. DD came home with small stuffed animals and a tennis ball. Small, cheap stuff. But you've made me curious and I'll have to check. Well, the "odd" thing (I liked how many odd things were going on in your first paragraph and had to jump on the bandwagon) is if you ask a school or a teacher, they'll immediately and instinctively respond that no, there are very few sweets at school. That's what my sister's teacher said and it's also what my son's teacher said. I don't think they're lying, it's that they think of the sweets individually not in the aggregate.
One gummy bear - no big deal. A cupcake to celebrate a birthday - no big deal. A sweet bought before/after school to raise funds for a club - no big deal. A small dessert, maybe even fruit based, served at lunch - no big deal.
The problem is only looking at them individually, not in total. Plus, school doesn't know if your kid had something sweet at breakfast, after school snack or dinner just like you at home don't know that the kid had some sweets at school, so neither place is looking at what the kid eats for the whole day. And that's where the problem is coming in. Am I strict enough that if my kid ate a single cupcake at school that they couldn't have a grain of sugar at any other time of the day at home? No. But if they've had gummy bear rewards, a cupcake, a small dessert at lunch and maybe even a brownie bought at the running club benefit? Uh, then yes, I'm probably not serving any more sugar at home.
*****
OK, now moving a little further outside the mainstream, but if you're concerned about heart health, weight and even cavities, then pretzels and other processed white flour snacks aren't much better than sweets. White flour is a simple carbohydrate that's very quickly absorbed into the bloodstream (almost as quickly as sugar), causing the same blood sugar spike, inflammation, increase in fatty acids that contribute to heart disease and cancer. Again, my kids eat some white flour - we don't grind weird grains and eat only sticks and berries. But if you're looking at a diet based on allowing all foods in moderation, pretzels, goldfish, crackers, cookies and candy/cupcakes all fall into the same "only a little bit a day" or a "treat" category. So if the kid's had pretzels at school, that might mean little to no sugary stuff at home if you want to keep the overall healthy diet idea going.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 2, 2014 10:22:27 GMT -5
Does this woman have anything else to doNot usually. The latest one was DH has psoriasis because he's fat, she read it on Google. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) I've told DH how angry it makes me that she does that to him but he doesn't want me saying anything to her. I can't make him stand up to her and even though it kills me I stand by his request. All bets are off when it comes to the kids though. And does MIL have M.D. after her name, that she would "know" about psoriasis? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) And damned straight all bets are off if she shames the kids. That woman would never be left alone with my kids. And if she shamed them, even one sentence worth, I'd have her in a headlock and I'd be stuffing Twinkies down her piehole so fast, she'd be unable to breathe, much less say anything. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/grrr.png)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 2, 2014 10:25:33 GMT -5
And does MIL have M.D. after her name, that she would "know" about psoriasis?
She has a degree from Google. Isn't that enough for most people nowadays? The only thing that would have made it better if she'd quoted Dr. Oz. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
I put her in her place on that one. One of my bosses specializes in immunity and I had a conversation with him about psoriasis because I wanted a pharmacist's opinion on Humira. So I'd say I have much more accurate information. DH's dermatologist had the same conversation with him.
So yeah we're going with the immunologist and dermatologist's information.
I want to say MIL isn't a bad person, she genuinely thinks it will motivate DH to lose weight if she says these things to him.
He's never once stood up to her and said knock if off you're making me hate myself. She's not going to change any time soon she's in her late 70's. If DH wants it to stop he needs to make it stop and I don't see that happening, he's too ingrained in letting her have her way on everything.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 2, 2014 10:26:36 GMT -5
Chubby cheeks, pudgy belly and the roly-poly thighs that make up my baby is one of the many things that make her absolutely adorable. Babies are supposed to be like this, that’s why it’s called baby fat, right? I was unaware at how ingrained society’s phobia on fat was until my infant daughter was fat shamed. Yes, you read that right. Fat shamed. From MSN Lifestyle - www.msn.com/en-ca/lifestyle/family/my-baby-was-fat-shamed/ar-BBg6lsaWow do we live in such a weight hate world that attacking a baby & mom is alright ? Discuss. If the kid isn't on a treadmill doing 5 miles a day by the age of one month, expect the baby shaming.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 2, 2014 10:33:04 GMT -5
Does this woman have anything else to doNot usually. The latest one was DH has psoriasis because he's fat, she read it on Google. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif) I've told DH how angry it makes me that she does that to him but he doesn't want me saying anything to her. I can't make him stand up to her and even though it kills me I stand by his request. All bets are off when it comes to the kids though. And does MIL have M.D. after her name, that she would "know" about psoriasis? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) And damned straight all bets are off if she shames the kids. That woman would never be left alone with my kids. And if she shamed them, even one sentence worth, I'd have her in a headlock and I'd be stuffing Twinkies down her piehole so fast, she'd be unable to breathe, much less say anything. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/grrr.png) You'd have to stuff them really far since I would have punched her teeth al the way to her ass. I'm not a real nice person when it comes to people shaming/picking on children ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angry2.png)
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 2, 2014 10:36:41 GMT -5
And does MIL have M.D. after her name, that she would "know" about psoriasis? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) And damned straight all bets are off if she shames the kids. That woman would never be left alone with my kids. And if she shamed them, even one sentence worth, I'd have her in a headlock and I'd be stuffing Twinkies down her piehole so fast, she'd be unable to breathe, much less say anything. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/grrr.png) You'd have to stuff them really far since I would have punched her teeth al the way to her ass. I'm not a real nice person when it comes to people shaming/picking on children ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angry2.png) I'll get a really supersized box of Twinkies. We'll eat any leftovers, thus destroying the evidence. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/lightbulb.gif)
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Dec 2, 2014 10:53:35 GMT -5
you guys must have really nice family members if they never said anything demeaning, condescending, shaming, stupid, mean, etc.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 2, 2014 11:06:18 GMT -5
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Dec 2, 2014 11:08:22 GMT -5
This thread isn't called thin-shaming
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 2, 2014 11:18:26 GMT -5
you guys must have really nice family members if they never said anything demeaning, condescending, shaming, stupid, mean, etc
I've said my fair share of hurtful things to my brother and vice versa.
That's different than 10+ years of continuous comments that have shredded someone's self worth/esteem.
It's not motivating him to lose weight like she seems to think it will. Her comments aren't one offs, routine motherly nagging or things said in the heat of the moment. It's a continuous stream whenever the opportunity presents itself.
As far as the article I would write that off to the fact that people seem to lose their filters whenever they are around pregnant women/babies and seem to think that not only should they say exactly what is on their mind but that we should be grateful they said it
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 2, 2014 11:19:15 GMT -5
What's normal is rapidly changing.
My boys and my nephews look very similar to what most kids looked like when my sister and I were in school in the 70s. Kinda scrawny. You can't see their vertebrae, but they look bony elsewhere, like their elbows might be sharp. I'm sure it varied in different areas, but around here most kids looked like this in the 70s and 80s. I remember out of my school of 600 or 700 kids, there were only 2 that were heavy.
Today at my son's school it's the opposite. Most of the kids look more like the 2 kids that would have been at the heavy end of the spectrum in the 70s and my kid looks like a scrawny outlier. I'm guessing that healthy is somewhere in the middle of that range, but that "normal" is not thin and not healthy either.
Edited to add: even though I'm commenting on some of the aspects of what I believe to be healthy/unhealthy for kids, I would never, ever volunteer these opinions to another parent. IMHO it's one thing to believe certain things and raise your kid that way, it's completely another to try to force that on others or make rude, unsolicited comments about others' choices.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 2, 2014 11:35:25 GMT -5
What's interesting to me is one of my clients.
He is Vietnamese and adopted. His mom is a doctor, so not only do they have access to healthy food but they also eat it.
This kid is HUGE. He plays football. I am amazed, now, that the kids have so much strength training in sports. When DH and I were in high school, the football players were not lifting weights for several days a week. (Another one of my HS kids was on football and had conditioning for like 6 hours a week the entire summer.) He also used to play baseball. (He quit because he didn't make varsity and aged out of little league). He also rows.
He's got a little pudge on him, but he's is not fat. I'm sure, if you do a BMI calculator, he's considered overweight.
But, I always wonder where the kid got his size from. Is it food? Is it nutrition? Genes? Likely not. The average height of a Vietnamese male is 5'4", my client was easily over 6 feet tall. And, I wonder how much strength training/conditioning plays into size now for kids..
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 2, 2014 11:37:24 GMT -5
Maybe for some kids, strength training and conditioning are part of what's contributing to size. Just like for a very few people, the BMI scale is way out of whack because they're so muscular.
But that's not what's going on for 99% of the kids I see at my son's school. Could be different elsewhere.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 2, 2014 11:39:22 GMT -5
How about the notion that people come in different shapes and sizes? We don't expect a Chihuahua to be a great dane or vice versa. Why do we expect that in human beings?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Dec 2, 2014 11:44:53 GMT -5
Fat shaming is one of my punchy topics lately. It's so, so difficult for me and one of the things I struggle with very much as a parent. Because as much as I HATE fat shaming, and as much as I think that society needs to STFU, I'll admit I have a huge problem with it. No one shames ME at all, to their credit, but I shame myself (and inwardly judge others) CONSTANTLY.
It's a running dialogue in my head, even when I'm consciously trying to turn it off. I hate it. And I know from experience it wouldn't be any different if I was thinner. I've been pretty thin at various times in the past and it almost doesn't make any difference (although at this particular moment, I actually am overweight and that doesn't help). It's hard to think of myself as anything but fat, even when I'm not.
I have no idea how to teach my kid how to have a healthy body image when I've never had one myself. If I can't even refrain from judging myself for being overweight, I feel like it's pretty unrealistic to think I wouldn't judge Babybird if she was. The best I can probably hope for is to keep my thoughts to myself and offer her nothing but support with my words and actions. I mean, I would never in a million years CALL her fat or tell her she needed to go on a diet or that she'd be "so pretty if she was thinner" or any of that crap. Not worried about that kind of thing, more so the subconscious message I'm probably going to give off that "thin = better."
And kids aren't stupid. They know when you're offering genuine support and when you're not. Even if I couched it in "We're going to eat healthier and exercise more as a family because of health benefits XYZ" and didn't say a word about weight, if she were fat I'm sure she'd hear an implied "AND to help you slim down."
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 2, 2014 11:49:13 GMT -5
I don't know. As you move thru life and deal with loved ones on their deathbed, I think you begin to find that carrying a few extra pounds really shouldn't take up so much time and preoccupation. Yeah, live healthy, eat better, exercise, have fun. But, in reality you aren't going to look 20 when you are 40 nor will you look 40 when you are 60 soooo some people do age better, but those people are called Celebrities!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 2, 2014 11:55:19 GMT -5
My 3yr old is (and was) pretty skinny. No fat rolls on her even when she was a baby. People used to say "do you FEED that child?" yeah, she was attached to my boob 24-7. I'd almost rather have her fat shamed because you can always say she'll grow out of it. How do you explain away a scrawny kid?
she is a great eater. She eats broccoli and cabbage and beans and just about anything you put on her plate. She just doesn't keep any weight on her.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 2, 2014 11:58:41 GMT -5
And kids aren't stupid. They know when you're offering genuine support and when you're not. Even if I couched it in "We're going to eat healthier and exercise more as a family because of health benefits XYZ" and didn't say a word about weight, if she were fat I'm sure she'd hear an implied "AND to help you slim down" whether I said that or not. [This will be my last post on the health thing because I think eating healthily (which I support) is a totally separate issue than fat shaming or offering another parent an unsolicited, public advice (which is IMHO awful) so my discussion on health might be misinterpreted as a defense of fat shaming.]
You're right that it's a bad idea to wait until your child has a weight issue and then try to slim him/her down under the guise of being healthy. That's exactly why I try to instill healthy habits in my family now, even though most people would take a look at my son and say "relax, he's skinny! Let the poor kid eat a cupcake you meanie!" And I agree, if we're talking about one cupcake not being a sin and not going to make any kid overweight. But my thought is that if we wait until the kid has a weight problem to "eat healthily for our heart" for example, then the kid doesn't really believe it's healthy eating for the sake of being healthy, the kid believes that healthy eating is a punishment for being heavy - which is the exact opposite of what you want him to think if you want him to choose healthy eating for life.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 2, 2014 11:59:45 GMT -5
milee, you don't let your kid ever have sweets?
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Dec 2, 2014 12:00:39 GMT -5
How odd Milee. The 1st grade class is snack free. The b-day treats I hear about tend to be popcorn or a bag of homemade mix (you know, start with cheerios and pretzel sticks and go from there) there might be a mini-cupcake or a couple of cookies but the teacher is VERY anti-sugar and anti-messy foods in her classroom. She's actually a bit of a pill but she seems to be a solid teacher and oddly, my daughter likes her. The teacher finds this odd too, by the way, it came up at parent teacher conferences. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png) My son's K4 class is different. I mean, it's K4. The snacks are supposed to be fairly healthy. We usually let DS pick a snack pack of pretzels. I don't believe she rewards with candy for small things during the day. When DD had her, there was a Friday pickbag that started later in the school year. If you had 10 tokens, the kid got to pick something out of a bag. DD came home with small stuffed animals and a tennis ball. Small, cheap stuff. But you've made me curious and I'll have to check. Well, the "odd" thing (I liked how many odd things were going on in your first paragraph and had to jump on the bandwagon) is if you ask a school or a teacher, they'll immediately and instinctively respond that no, there are very few sweets at school. That's what my sister's teacher said and it's also what my son's teacher said. I don't think they're lying, it's that they think of the sweets individually not in the aggregate.
One gummy bear - no big deal. A cupcake to celebrate a birthday - no big deal. A sweet bought before/after school to raise funds for a club - no big deal. A small dessert, maybe even fruit based, served at lunch - no big deal.
The problem is only looking at them individually, not in total. Plus, school doesn't know if your kid had something sweet at breakfast, after school snack or dinner just like you at home don't know that the kid had some sweets at school, so neither place is looking at what the kid eats for the whole day. And that's where the problem is coming in. Am I strict enough that if my kid ate a single cupcake at school that they couldn't have a grain of sugar at any other time of the day at home? No. But if they've had gummy bear rewards, a cupcake, a small dessert at lunch and maybe even a brownie bought at the running club benefit? Uh, then yes, I'm probably not serving any more sugar at home.
*****
OK, now moving a little further outside the mainstream, but if you're concerned about heart health, weight and even cavities, then pretzels and other processed white flour snacks aren't much better than sweets. White flour is a simple carbohydrate that's very quickly absorbed into the bloodstream (almost as quickly as sugar), causing the same blood sugar spike, inflammation, increase in fatty acids that contribute to heart disease and cancer. Again, my kids eat some white flour - we don't grind weird grains and eat only sticks and berries. But if you're looking at a diet based on allowing all foods in moderation, pretzels, goldfish, crackers, cookies and candy/cupcakes all fall into the same "only a little bit a day" or a "treat" category. So if the kid's had pretzels at school, that might mean little to no sugary stuff at home if you want to keep the overall healthy diet idea going.
![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif) I'll add to it that besides the quality of the snack (overt sugar like cupcakes or "innocent" sugar like crackers) the fact is kids eat ALL DAY LONG. God forbid you go a few hours without eating. The habit of constantly snacking is a bigger culprit to obesity IMO than what the snack actually is. Mid-morning snack, then lunch, then afternoon snack, then after school snack, then snack at activities, etc. IME it is impossible to have any sort of kid activity without snacks. Give kids protein at breakfast and lunch and they don't need all the empty filler calories of these snacks.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,542
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 2, 2014 12:02:51 GMT -5
Even if I couched it in "We're going to eat healthier and exercise more as a family because of health benefits XYZ" and didn't say a word about weight, if she were fat I'm sure she'd hear an implied "AND to help you slim down."
DH is fully aware he is overweight so he knows when I change things I am partially doing it to help him hopefully lose weight.
He is not shamed by that. He knows I am not doing it because I hate him or his appearance.
Compare that to his mom who told him if he wasn't so fat he wouldn't have psoriasis. Yeah. .. .
DH doesn't feel bad about himself when we discuss his weight. He feels terrible whenever his mother brings it up. The difference is how I approach the problem vs his mother.
I approach it as an overall health issue, eating better is good for DH as a whole, not just his waistline. Healthy eating will also benefit the entire family and sets the kids up for good eating habits later in life. Losing weight is a bonus.
MIL is trying to humiliate him into losing weight.
You can handle weight problems without fat shaming.
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
Posts: 27,448
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 2, 2014 12:04:47 GMT -5
I'm going to be the voice of opposition here and just say it: pudgy babies creep me out.
All those folds of skin squishing and unsquishing, pudging and unpudging like a suffocating blanket of flesh. If somebody placed a baby on your face while you slept and you didn't wake up, you could easily suffocate.
I realize that skeletal, anemic babies have serious health issues, but consider the fact that your baby's prison body is no doubt a psychological detriment to him/her. In fifteen years when your kid comes to you with body issues, are you really planning to say "Yes we kept you so perpetually stuffed with milk fat that you were a creepy miniature version of the Michelin Man, but you look just fine today," and expect them to value your opinion?
Don't get me started on what we're teaching our children about excessive consumption. Has anyone here heard of something called climate change? Cutting back on food isn't just a matter of aesthetics, it's key to our continued existence as a species. I recall reading an article about that in a journal somewhere: the detrimental effects of baby pudge on the global climate. You can either be pro-science or pro- baby pudge, but you can't be both.
To those who may think I'm being unreasonable or insensitive: ignore my advice at your own peril. Mark my words: ten years from now, Bloated Infant Syndrome (BIS) will be a condition recognized by all reputable medical authorities. Your recovering children will sue you blind in court with nothing more than a handful of their grotesque baby photos. If society was truly interested in the welfare of infants, we'd ban breast milk and then (as many enlightened societies have done in the past) ban childbirth altogether. We'll get there eventually. But today, the mountain we have to climb is one made out of squishy, oozy baby pudge, and hopefully everyone reading this has their priorities straight.
(The preceding is a work of satire.)
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happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 21,098
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Post by happyhoix on Dec 2, 2014 12:05:15 GMT -5
I think this woman is a clone of my mom. She honestly believes if she constantly points out to someone what their flaw(s) are, it will motivate them to improve themselves. What she did, instead, was destroy the self esteem of her 3 oldest kids and permanently fracture her relationship with my dad. I used to hate to have to go on a car ride with her anywhere, because she used that time as a chance to lecture me on all of my many, many faults. I didn't spend enough time on my make up or hair. Wore jeans too often. Walked with too long of a stride (mannish) instead of 'mincing' like a lady. Spent too much time studying or reading (Seriously! This was a huge complaint she had about me!) instead of focusing on my social skills, like flirting - which were critical in order to land a good husband. (Girls didn't need to get good grades, they only had to barely pass - they were going to be SAHMs anyway). Laughed too raucously, instead of having a ladylike, tinkling laugh (DH loves my bawdy laugh, BTW). If she had extra time after listing my faults, she moved to to list the faults of my two older sisters and my dad. At the end of the car ride, I always felt like I'd been physically beaten. As an adult, I once told her that her nagging was not only not helpful, it killed my self esteem, and she was truly surprised. She said she wasn't nagging, she was using "subliminal messaging" which ALL the psychologists agreed was the best way to get someone to do what you wanted them to do. And besides, she said, if she had any flaws, she would really want someone to point out what they were, so she could fix them. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/wte.png) Look up Narcassistic Personality Disorder in the dictionary, and there is a picture of my mom.
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