thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 16, 2014 12:33:55 GMT -5
My towels outlasted my marriage. LOL. You either need better husbands or to take more showers.
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Deleted
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 12:34:26 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 12:34:26 GMT -5
I don't use my china monthly or anything, but now that I have been married 17 years (as of yesterday ) and the towels are gone, the coffee maker is long dead, the money I got is either spent or mixed in with all the money I have saved over the years and I can't even remember all the other stuff that has been broken or used up or whatever - I'm glad I have some really nice plates that remind me that a bunch of people loved me enough to buy bits and pieces for to come together and get a nice whole set. It is like a community thing - everyone who cared for me pooled their resources and gave me one big gift, and every Christmas when I pull it out I am reminded that I made a choice to marry, and I was supported by a group of people who wanted to see that happen, and for us to be happy. But, as I said - some people thought I was being silly for partaking in such an old fashioned thing like getting china. And if I hadn't, a bunch of people would have thought I was stupid for not getting china. Brides can't win. as my mother said, if you don't get china and crystal for wedding gifts, chances are you aren't going to go out and buy it yourself.
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Deleted
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 12:50:31 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 12:50:31 GMT -5
I didn't have a shower. The whole idea of them turns me off unless you're talking really young couple with nothing. I would have been fine with no gifts at the wedding too, but people feel obligated to get something, so I registered for things we could use. we grew up in 2 totally different worlds and obviously our wedding's reflect that.....and I use china and crystal so I'm not sure how I registered for things I couldn't or wouldn't use. I never said you registered for something you wouldn't use.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Nov 16, 2014 13:09:27 GMT -5
I don't use my china monthly or anything, but now that I have been married 17 years (as of yesterday ) and the towels are gone, the coffee maker is long dead, the money I got is either spent or mixed in with all the money I have saved over the years and I can't even remember all the other stuff that has been broken or used up or whatever - I'm glad I have some really nice plates that remind me that a bunch of people loved me enough to buy bits and pieces for to come together and get a nice whole set. It is like a community thing - everyone who cared for me pooled their resources and gave me one big gift, and every Christmas when I pull it out I am reminded that I made a choice to marry, and I was supported by a group of people who wanted to see that happen, and for us to be happy. But, as I said - some people thought I was being silly for partaking in such an old fashioned thing like getting china. And if I hadn't, a bunch of people would have thought I was stupid for not getting china. Brides can't win. as my mother said, if you don't get china and crystal for wedding gifts, chances are you aren't going to go out and buy it yourself. Really? I did. I got some china and crystal for my first wedding; however, my tastes changed over the years so I got china and crystal that better suited me and gave the other china and crystal to my daughter. Son got the silverware when he married as I'd replaced that, as well. People are different and do things in different ways. There's no one right way.
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Deleted
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 13:16:03 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 13:16:03 GMT -5
as my mother said, if you don't get china and crystal for wedding gifts, chances are you aren't going to go out and buy it yourself. Really? I did. I got some china and crystal for my first wedding; however, my tastes changed over the years so I got china and crystal that better suited me and gave the other china and crystal to my daughter. Son got the silverware when he married as I'd replaced that, as well. People are different and do things in different ways. There's no one right way. as willing as I am to spend money on myself, I can't imagine purchasing an entire set of $100+ per setting china and serving pieces.
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NancysSummerSip
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 13:36:25 GMT -5
Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 16, 2014 13:36:25 GMT -5
I have a feeling that whatever funds the bio gets, even if it's the full amount, it won't be enough. Additional expenses always seem to come up, no matter how well you plan. And the more expensive things start out, the more expensive they continue to be. She'll keep banging on the doors of the Bank of Dad, asking for more (assuming her mother cannot give her more and her bridegroom and his folks are either tapped out or smart enough to say no).
And with 250 people on the guest list, a 26-item registry does seem strange, unless the items are high-priced and meant to be bought by several people as a group gift (such as a $1,000 espresso machine). I had a registry, but I did try to be fair and spread it over several national stores in a large price range.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 13:36:45 GMT -5
Really? I did. I got some china and crystal for my first wedding; however, my tastes changed over the years so I got china and crystal that better suited me and gave the other china and crystal to my daughter. Son got the silverware when he married as I'd replaced that, as well. People are different and do things in different ways. There's no one right way. as willing as I am to spend money on myself, I can't imagine purchasing an entire set of $100+ per setting china and serving pieces. Why not though? A couple thousand for a 20 piece set that will last you a lifetime. You're always preaching about get what you want, when you want it. I wouldn't, but I don't care about china. I did pay 2K each for my horse stalls though.
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Deleted
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 13:39:58 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 13:39:58 GMT -5
as willing as I am to spend money on myself, I can't imagine purchasing an entire set of $100+ per setting china and serving pieces. Why not though? A couple thousand for a 20 piece set that will last you a lifetime. You're always preaching about get what you want, when you want it. I wouldn't, but I don't care about china. I did pay 2K each for my horse stalls though. as I said, as much as I'm willing to spend money on things I want, I don't know that I would have wanted to wait until now to be buying china and crystal. when we were first married we saved money for a house and then there were kids then I was a single parent with no child support. waiting until I was 49 to buy china would have meant that for the past 24 years I wouldn't have had nice dishes to use for dinner parties and holidays, etc. but yes, if my washer dies, I'm going to go out and buy one, not limp along for weeks researching and waiting for it to be 50% off or going to 5 stores and playing them off against each other....or if I want an item that's $50 I'm not going to agonize over buying it.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Nov 16, 2014 14:35:08 GMT -5
I got a toaster for a wedding present. One of those with the big wide slots for bagels. I like it. 11 years later I still use it. It is much nicer than the cheapo I got at a garage sale a few year before I got married.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Nov 16, 2014 14:36:25 GMT -5
I don't use my china monthly or anything, but now that I have been married 17 years (as of yesterday ) and the towels are gone, the coffee maker is long dead, the money I got is either spent or mixed in with all the money I have saved over the years and I can't even remember all the other stuff that has been broken or used up or whatever - I'm glad I have some really nice plates that remind me that a bunch of people loved me enough to buy bits and pieces for to come together and get a nice whole set. It is like a community thing - everyone who cared for me pooled their resources and gave me one big gift, and every Christmas when I pull it out I am reminded that I made a choice to marry, and I was supported by a group of people who wanted to see that happen, and for us to be happy. But, as I said - some people thought I was being silly for partaking in such an old fashioned thing like getting china. And if I hadn't, a bunch of people would have thought I was stupid for not getting china. Brides can't win. as my mother said, if you don't get china and crystal for wedding gifts, chances are you aren't going to go out and buy it yourself. I bought a set of Spode China at a garage sale. And a set if silverware at another one.
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zibazinski
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Nov 16, 2014 14:51:17 GMT -5
Post by zibazinski on Nov 16, 2014 14:51:17 GMT -5
Well, if I buy her towels set, I will remove 6 out of 12 things on her Macy's list and not have spent a hundred bucks even if I added the bath mat which she forgot to. So that leaves 6 items for others to buy. It's apparent that she wants money not gifts for her wedding. I would get it if she had been living with the guy and they had a place of their own for awhile but they have nothing. He really has nothing, living with mom and dad, and she has stuff from college. Not even sheets are on the registery! He sleeps in a twin and she does, too! Weird.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Nov 16, 2014 15:36:45 GMT -5
Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Nov 16, 2014 15:36:45 GMT -5
Is there any chance she's just not done creating the registry or has intentions of setting up one at another store?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 15:45:51 GMT -5
Well, if I buy her towels set, I will remove 6 out of 12 things on her Macy's list and not have spent a hundred bucks even if I added the bath mat which she forgot to. So that leaves 6 items for others to buy. It's apparent that she wants money not gifts for her wedding. I would get it if she had been living with the guy and they had a place of their own for awhile but they have nothing. He really has nothing, living with mom and dad, and she has stuff from college. Not even sheets are on the registery! He sleeps in a twin and she does, too! Weird. I think an exquisite silver-plated picture frame would make a lovely and tasteful wedding gift.
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plugginaway22
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 17:09:27 GMT -5
Post by plugginaway22 on Nov 16, 2014 17:09:27 GMT -5
I agree with Chloe! if she is not getting married until next year sometime, they probably have not even finished setting up the registry. And we have been to plenty of weddings without items on the registry for every guest, you just give money or get something else.
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NastyWoman
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Nov 16, 2014 17:10:50 GMT -5
Post by NastyWoman on Nov 16, 2014 17:10:50 GMT -5
As for towels: I realized a short while ago that I still have one towel that has outlasted my marriage (and I was married for 30+ years, divorced for 9). Heck, I don't know what that thing is made off. It even outlasted summer camps etc. Now I just hope it'll last me until I die which should take it straight into the Guiness Book of Records
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Ombud
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Nov 16, 2014 18:26:14 GMT -5
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Post by Ombud on Nov 16, 2014 18:26:14 GMT -5
Well, if I buy her towels set, I will remove 6 out of 12 things on her Macy's list ... Not even sheets are on the registery! He sleeps in a twin and she does, too! Weird. So buy sheets! You're not the parent and she obviously is doing the new 'go fundme' route. She'll be disappointed but that's her problem
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sesfw
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Nov 16, 2014 19:22:11 GMT -5
Post by sesfw on Nov 16, 2014 19:22:11 GMT -5
When DHs cousin's DD got married (1995?) we received a wish list from them that had everything on in ...... including the style, sizes, and where to buy their running shoes. This was a letter sized piece of paper filled on both sides and they were already living together.
We declined attending and the marriage lasted about 3 years. I talked to the cousin later and she commented on the number of knick-knacks the couple got as wedding gifts. Guess we weren't the only ones disgusted with it.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 16, 2014 19:24:44 GMT -5
Well, if I buy her towels set, I will remove 6 out of 12 things on her Macy's list ... Not even sheets are on the registery! He sleeps in a twin and she does, too! Weird. So buy sheets! You're not the parent and she obviously is doing the new 'go fundme' route. She'll be disappointed but that's her problem That's a plan. But buy the 200-300 thread count kind. Yanno, the "sandpaper special." Tell her the rough surface is good for her skin; it's like the exfoliation thing they do at a spa.
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The Home 6
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Wedding
Nov 16, 2014 20:34:21 GMT -5
Post by The Home 6 on Nov 16, 2014 20:34:21 GMT -5
I didn't have a shower. Or a registry. Most of my wedding (which was really a church 'blessing' on the marriage nearly 2 years after the actual event) guests were family. They gave us cash mostly, which was unexpected. A few of the gifts have survived the moves-a picnic basket, some solid wood bowls, a beautiful crystal bowl (thanks, fancy aunt!). DF's bio sounds like a real gem, though.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 16, 2014 20:38:11 GMT -5
Really? I did. I got some china and crystal for my first wedding; however, my tastes changed over the years so I got china and crystal that better suited me and gave the other china and crystal to my daughter. Son got the silverware when he married as I'd replaced that, as well. People are different and do things in different ways. There's no one right way. as willing as I am to spend money on myself, I can't imagine purchasing an entire set of $100+ per setting china and serving pieces. Really? What do you think single people do? i figured I wasn't getting married, and still wanted some nice things.....so bought 'em. I chose what I liked and waited for sales, and bought as I had money.
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milee
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Post by milee on Nov 16, 2014 20:57:11 GMT -5
As for towels: I realized a short while ago that I still have one towel that has outlasted my marriage (and I was married for 30+ years, divorced for 9). Heck, I don't know what that thing is made off. It even outlasted summer camps etc. Now I just hope it'll last me until I die which should take it straight into the Guiness Book of Records It was made of the same stuff as our Guiness record towel. Just last week, I apologized to DH that one of his old towels was shredded in a cat trapping project (raccoon in the trap - yikes!) I finally confessed that it was one of the towels he had before we were married and I'd never really liked it anyway, so wasn't sorry to see it go. He asked which one it was and when I described it, he said it wasn't his... that for the last 25 years, he thought that ugly towel was mine! Nope. So both of us spent the last 25+ years thinking the other had really horrible taste in towels. We still have no idea whose towel it originally was.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 16, 2014 21:08:04 GMT -5
I'd just give a check for the amount that the gift I would have picked in the registry ( had it been available ) cost. Maybe, I'd round it up a little bit, but not too much.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2014 21:38:42 GMT -5
So buy sheets! You're not the parent and she obviously is doing the new 'go fundme' route. She'll be disappointed but that's her problem And don't forget the latest made-up wedding etiquette rule; the sheets have to be worth at least zib's and her DF's "plate costs"!
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zibazinski
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Nov 16, 2014 21:41:30 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 16, 2014 21:41:30 GMT -5
I've thought about wine glasses. I have a lovely set that I use a lot. You'd be amazed how spendy good ones are and how useful they are. Maybe a set for white and a set for red. I like mine because they have no stems. Easier to wash. Can't buy sheets. No clue as to what size bed they'll end up with. No, she told her dad her tegistry was done.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 16, 2014 21:59:20 GMT -5
Wine glasses (or whine glasses) or king set 600 CT damask sheet set can easily be $235. Given that the wedding is 50,000 / 260 = $192 per couple it fits YM criteria
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Nazgul Girl
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Nov 17, 2014 0:10:56 GMT -5
Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 17, 2014 0:10:56 GMT -5
I got rid of every towel that had ever touched my ex-husband's body from my first marriage. I just couldn't stand to look at them, or their color anymore. So, they all went to the Salvation Army. My second marriage's linens have an entirely different color scheme, and I'm glad that I'm not reminded of the ex when I see or use them.
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cronewitch
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Wedding
Nov 17, 2014 1:39:38 GMT -5
Post by cronewitch on Nov 17, 2014 1:39:38 GMT -5
I started over 30 years ago and got some towels that were 2.50 each paper thin. I am still using them up as rags or donating them. I got some slightly better towels 25 years ago and still have lots of them. Towels just don't seem to wear out but the old cheap ones did wear holes in them.
I got my brothers sets of towels the first Christmas after they were married, cheap towels we were poor. I found a set in a box that had 4 each of plain and print bath, hand and wash cloths and dish towels and dish cloth so I got each brother a box. Sent my little bro his with a note saying I know they got beautiful towels for their wedding but they could put these in the back of the linen closet. Turned out he joined the navy and she went to visit him and stayed and they didn't take the wedding gifts. Navy gave him three towels so he had one on the ship, one bathroom and one kitchen they were thrilled to get 8 sets of cheap towels. Years later the kids were middle of elementary school and his wife said they loved those towels. When the babies were born the thin towels were perfect to dry the babies so used all the time for more than 10 years and were just becoming rags.
Back in the 60s people gave wedding gifts like a couple of beautiful towels or a bowl. I don't know if they even had registries. I hadn't heard of them for years later but I never planned a formal wedding. My wedding was a surprise wedding, no engagement just got married one day. I didn't know I was getting married that day until a couple of minutes before it happened. We bought a wedding license that morning and were carrying around when we talked to a preacher and he decided to do the wedding right then. I let people know after that we were married and since I didn't have showers or wedding gifts and was first of my generation married my grandmother felt cheated. She wanted to have a shower so she had one with people I didn't know and mailed me the gifts. I got stainless steel bowls and a table cloth and napkins that fit a card table in pink I think two sets of the table cloth and napkins don't remember other gifts but loved the stainless steel bowls. My parents sent us $50. I still give gifts I want to give, gave last niece to marry a nice set of bowls I loved and for her first wedding several sizes of 6 wine glasses and more for the next Christmas so she had plenty. I wish they still opened the gifts at the reception so we could see what they got. One niece invited us to the house for gift opening the next day. When one of the nieces married she had a registry and my ISO found out what it was and said we should get married so we could ask for gifts. I think the only ones to buy from the registry is people who don't know them so don't have ideas and the same for money, not personal enough to wish a couple well even if they like money. One niece wanted cash for a car repair as a wedding gift, that isn't a gift so she got wine glasses.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Nov 17, 2014 9:15:51 GMT -5
Weddings are hard when you aren't genuinely joyful for the couple. Yes. And if you have no affection or consideration for the couple best not to say anything. Zib has been very clear about what she thinks of her DF's daughter and how much she appears to truly dislike her. I suspect that her DF loves his daughter even though she does many things that he doesn't agree with.
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skubikky
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Nov 17, 2014 9:19:00 GMT -5
Post by skubikky on Nov 17, 2014 9:19:00 GMT -5
So buy sheets! You're not the parent and she obviously is doing the new 'go fundme' route. She'll be disappointed but that's her problem I'm really not sure if this bride is expecting anything off our zib, here. Doesn't seem to be a brady bunch moment at all..... This. Zib, why are you buying anything at all for someone who you so obviously dislike, have no consideration for, and have often lambasted here?
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billisonboard
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Nov 17, 2014 10:05:15 GMT -5
Post by billisonboard on Nov 17, 2014 10:05:15 GMT -5
... It's true, money does not buy class.
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