That was a nightmare.

[Deleted]

@debthaven2, you have really made me lol and chuckle several times with these screen names. I even laughed at myself because you had me so confused. Laughter is good for the soul. Thanks!

[Firebird]

Pink Cashmere, what if you are White Cashmere for a few weeks? Maybe people will think you're very innocent?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Hmmm, now I'm thinking about changing my nic.  Other than some holiday costumes, I think I've been Wisconsin Beth since I signed up on the old boards.  I know I was reading them before I got married in 2004 but I don't think I signed up until 2005 or 2006. 

[tloonya]

Oct 21, 2014 16:18:18 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Sorry, but I'm not going to go near / address ANYTHING Loony posts, Angel Winner. 

I think you just did

[Lizard Queen]

Oct 21, 2014 16:04:09 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Again, words have power.

Sounds like new age hocus pocus to me.  Let's test it though.  I'll report back in two weeks.  *heads off to change his name*

As you wish.

[tloonya]

Oct 20, 2014 17:00:56 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Oct 20, 2014 16:50:37 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

I am sorry but women do not have that market cornered... They just get more publicity for it or complain about it more.

I believe it is called being human; has nothing to do with being a woman; all about wanting to feel connected and being in a relationship.

Also a small percentage of women stay in abusive relationships and I put them in the same category as men that stay in relationship with toxic women.

Again being a woman is not a science; stop making it so complicated. Enjoy life and know it is ok to make some mistakes along the way

Maybe you should tell that to all your crazy family. 

You certainly seem to love to judge others when they make what you deem are mistakes.  Not sure why you feel so free in criticizing someone after the mistake, but not for giving advice that might prevent mistakes.

I remember being banned once for calling non-member 'crazy'. Just saying.
Also hon, I think you are too involved.

Can we send a member to a day spa? For relaxation? I can donate $5.

[tloonya]

Oct 21, 2014 16:04:09 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Again, words have power.

Sounds like new age hocus pocus to me.  Let's test it though.  I'll report back in two weeks.  *heads off to change his name*

Should it be LightLoser?

[Deleted]

Oct 22, 2014 8:15:14 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Oct 20, 2014 17:00:56 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Maybe you should tell that to all your crazy family. 

You certainly seem to love to judge others when they make what you deem are mistakes.  Not sure why you feel so free in criticizing someone after the mistake, but not for giving advice that might prevent mistakes.

I remember being banned once for calling non-member 'crazy'. Just saying.
Also hon, I think you are too involved.

Can we send a member to a day spa? For relaxation? I can donate $5.

Re-homed anyone's dog lately?  How about the marital affairs of your customers?

[tloonya]

Oct 22, 2014 8:19:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Oct 22, 2014 8:15:14 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I remember being banned once for calling non-member 'crazy'. Just saying.
Also hon, I think you are too involved.

Can we send a member to a day spa? For relaxation? I can donate $5.

Re-homed anyone's dog lately?  How about the marital affairs of your customers?

Plenty. I had posted about 20+, where have you been? Wait, I am pretty sure you had not missed THAT one have you
And no dogs, re-homed a cat. 2 cats. Against their will.

[Angel!]

Oct 22, 2014 8:19:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Oct 22, 2014 8:15:14 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I remember being banned once for calling non-member 'crazy'. Just saying.
Also hon, I think you are too involved.

Can we send a member to a day spa? For relaxation? I can donate $5.

Re-homed anyone's dog lately?  How about the marital affairs of your customers?

[tloonya]

Oct 22, 2014 9:58:09 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Oct 22, 2014 8:19:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Re-homed anyone's dog lately?  How about the marital affairs of your customers?

OFCOURSE you HAD to. It is like if you had not - you wouldn't be able to function.
But I was expecting more of emoticons so you showing it is twice funnier for you like this   -rofl-and maybe even

[Angel!]

Oct 22, 2014 10:17:51 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Oct 22, 2014 9:58:09 GMT -5 Angel! said:

OFCOURSE you HAD to. It is like if you had not - you wouldn't be able to function.
But I was expecting more of emoticons so you showing it is twice funnier for you like this   -rofl-and maybe even

You just make me smile every day

So sorry I disappointed

And for good measure because I don't know what the heck it is:

[nutty]

Nothing like seeing your crappy life (at the moment) played out on a message board. Wonderful. Everyone handles things differently. I am back in school, made some great new friends and hung out with some males Oh my goodness the shame. Don't worry about me, I am as fine as I can be, still lots of work to do but it is what it is.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Nutty...no offense...but you are the one who puts your life here for comment.  If you want to just write a blog where nobody comments, this probably isn't the place.  Nobody said you should be ashamed of anything.  Some of us were relating similar life experiences and trying to keep you from making the same painful mistakes.  Some of us were just saying that one's mind isn't always in the right place for jumping into new relationships so soon after ending one.  That's not anything to be ashamed of either and is, in fact, quite normal.  You are under no obligation to take that advice.  Do what you want, but if you aren't careful, you are going to be here in another year lamenting the failure of a relationship you shouldn't have been jumping in to in the first place.

I sincerely hope you are as fine as can be.  That would be awesome.  However, in your first sentence, you write that you have a "crappy" life and in the next sentence you are telling us how great it is.  You don't even know, Nutty.  Find yourself.  I bet you find a pretty great person when you do.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oct 22, 2014 10:32:57 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Oct 22, 2014 10:17:51 GMT -5 tloonya said:

OFCOURSE you HAD to. It is like if you had not - you wouldn't be able to function.
But I was expecting more of emoticons so you showing it is twice funnier for you like this   -rofl-and maybe even

You just make me smile every day

So sorry I disappointed

And for good measure because I don't know what the heck it is:

Virgil created it for someone.  A bet or a generous contribution to Diamond's fund maybe? 

[nutty]

I know I do, I meant it. I have re read this. Anyone can take the term crappy and make it into what they would think would be crappy. Some aspects are crappy others are awesome. Believe me I won't be posting in a year about a failed relationship, you can bet on that. I went out on a few dates with someone, no biggie.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I'm glad some parts of awesome.  I think that's all we can hope for sometimes!  Nobody's life is 100% awesome all the time.  I hope you know (at least it appears to me) that everyone here wishes you the very best.  I certainly do.

[The Captain]

Oct 23, 2014 8:00:32 GMT -5 nutty said:

I am back in school...

I missed this earlier!!!

That's fantastic!  Good for you, how's school going?

[Deleted]

Great.  Now that damn Lego Movie song "Everything is Awesome" is going through my head. 

[Artemis Windsong]

I agree, words do have power.  I need to power up my nic as if a Greek Goddess isn't strong enough.  Awesome Artemis sounds good to me.

Just for nutty.  I stay in a less than satisfactory marriage because I need my DH to come between me and my brother.  Used to be two brothers but one died.  The emotional upheaval is significant on top of other major stressers.   Unraveling the financial plan would cost thousands in itself. 

I am looking at options to protect myself since he's made some pretty unnerving comments which he made sure I overheard.

I am basically without family emotional support but have one friend who listens and gives solid advice.  She's an advocate with a church and is well qualified.

I saw nutty without an emotional helper to sort through what her DH was saying.  They needed to discuss what would help each other to be more satisfied in the marriage, that is if they can talk with each other in a nondefensive manner.

Life is difficult yet we are sold the idea we have to be happy all the time and have fun at every turn.  Communication is key and level headed friends to talk to and balance out ideas for plans.

This is way too long.  A series on youtube is called I Am Second.  It is faith based but it supports having a strong life despite a spouse who is not.

Best wishes, nutty.  What's your new nic?

[ArchietheDragon]

The power of words

[nutty]

Thanks Awesome, you are correct. I had shut myself away and didn't really have anyone to talk to, well not that I would open up anyway (which is a huge problem with me) so I took to writing, except on a message board. I could be vulnerable but not known.

I know right Captain, I am excited. I could only get the money together for one 8 week class, but I did it. It is the speech gen ed class.

[Angel!]

Oct 23, 2014 8:00:32 GMT -5 nutty said:

Nothing like seeing your crappy life (at the moment) played out on a message board. Wonderful. Everyone handles things differently. I am back in school, made some great new friends and hung out with some males Oh my goodness the shame. Don't worry about me, I am as fine as I can be, still lots of work to do but it is what it is.

You don't have a crappy life. You are going through a transition period, which can be very difficult.  The way you are handling it and the emotions you are dealing with are perfectly normal.

But, whether or not you are aware of it, the fact you are on an emotional rollercoaster has been very apparent the last few months. That plus personal experience is why many of us are advising that you probably aren't ready to date. You can take it or leave it, no one can make you take advice you don't want to take. But, my experience on these boards is generally if you have 1-2 people telling you something, it probably doesn't mean much. But, if you have a half dozen or more people telling you the same thing, then maybe you should step back & figure out why. Maybe it is because the situation isn't really as you have portrayed it. Maybe it is because you have healed very quickly and we are still judging the situation based on your threads over the last 3 months.  Or maybe there is something to the advice & you should at least consider it.

[nutty]

I don't disagree, I dipped my toes in and didn't like and I am so not ready, but if I hadn't dipped my toes in ... who knows ... I am just relaying my experiences. I think someone on here got into a disastrous relationship after her marriage ended and maybe others too. My HS friend who I think is the most stellar and responsible person I know, actually married someone. So it's not unusual.

My new friend got into a new relationship the same night she told her husband too move out. I do see it, and no matter how many times anyone says it we all seem to make those same mistakes. I am not in a relationship, I went out a few times. I stopped it, wow, that was a strange person. I didn't keep him around to just have someone around.

I have not yet had a rebound. I have not yet had a "boyfriend" but I don't think I am going to wait years.

[Firebird]

I have not yet had a rebound. I have not yet had a "boyfriend" but I don't think I am going to wait years.

No one can tell you how long to wait, but I agree with Angel!.  Sometimes there are weird outlying opinions but usually if there's a pretty solid consensus on something, that's a good indication that it's a decent idea. 

I don't really know your backstory other than what I've read on these threads but I wish you the best.  It sounds like you've had a rough road, but you can still come through it and hopefully having this place to visit can help instead of hurt during the transition period.

[The Captain]

Oct 23, 2014 9:43:00 GMT -5 nutty said:

Thanks Awesome, you are correct. I had shut myself away and didn't really have anyone to talk to, well not that I would open up anyway (which is a huge problem with me) so I took to writing, except on a message board. I could be vulnerable but not known.

I know right Captain, I am excited. I could only get the money together for one 8 week class, but I did it. It is the speech gen ed class.

Nutty - I don't know if you're attending at a standard university or a community college or another type of school.  FYI - in my area the community colleges will frequently offer grants/tuition reduction/tuition waiver for low income individuals.  If you haven't already done so, you may want to check with your school and see what resources are available to you.

Here is a link that may be helpful:

www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ope/trio/index.html