child-free people

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Babybird is apparently reading this thread behind my back as she's been nothing but sweet and cuddly and adorable for like 3 days straight, making me wonder what the hell I'm complaining about

I've found that toddlers know exactly how far to push it and will become cute right about the time I am deciding to sell her to the gypsies.

[Firebird]

They're manipulative little buggers, no doubt about it

[greeniis10]

Jul 11, 2014 13:17:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Babybird is apparently reading this thread behind my back as she's been nothing but sweet and cuddly and adorable for like 3 days straight, making me wonder what the hell I'm complaining about

I've found that toddlers know exactly how far to push it and will become cute right about the time I am deciding to sell her to the gypsies.

This strange phenomenon also works with pets and electronic equipment, like my laser printer that keeps getting jammed.  Once I started shopping for its replacement it suddenly hasn't acted up for two days now...

[AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP]

Jul 11, 2014 13:22:04 GMT -5 Firebird said:

They're manipulative little buggers, no doubt about it

Yes.  Yes, they are. 

[sheilaincali]

Jul 11, 2014 13:22:04 GMT -5 Firebird said:

They're manipulative little buggers, no doubt about it

So the Boy started working for me this week. It has been going along just fine but man that kid tries to negotiate everything.

He keeps teasing me telling me he deserves a raise (after 2 days of working!)

Yesterday we needed him to guard the fresh sidewalk. We are paving two big roundabouts by our mall and idiots keep trying to cut through the jobsite so they can avoid having to drive around the detours. So we needed him to ride his bike back and forth along the fresh concrete sidewalk and yell at anyone that even thought about walking on it. He tells me on the way there "you know Mom, everyone else here is Union. I'm not saying I should get union scale but I should probably get closer to certified wages than my regular hourly wage". I held firm and bribed him with pizza for lunch instead of a raise.

Then he gets home and tells me he wants some "work comp" because he got a minor sunburn.  I told him "tough titties" and handed him a bottle of aloe gel and a quarter and said "here's your work comp Kid"

[ArchietheDragon]

Jul 11, 2014 14:07:29 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Jul 11, 2014 13:22:04 GMT -5 Firebird said:

They're manipulative little buggers, no doubt about it

So the Boy started working for me this week. It has been going along just fine but man that kid tries to negotiate everything.

He keeps teasing me telling me he deserves a raise (after 2 days of working!)

Yesterday we needed him to guard the fresh sidewalk. We are paving two big roundabouts by our mall and idiots keep trying to cut through the jobsite so they can avoid having to drive around the detours. So we needed him to ride his bike back and forth along the fresh concrete sidewalk and yell at anyone that even thought about walking on it. He tells me on the way there "you know Mom, everyone else here is Union. I'm not saying I should get union scale but I should probably get closer to certified wages than my regular hourly wage". I held firm and bribed him with pizza for lunch instead of a raise.

Then he gets home and tells me he wants some "work comp" because he got a minor sunburn.  I told him "tough titties" and handed him a bottle of aloe gel and a quarter and said "here's your work comp Kid"

Surprised the union let him work the site. 

[sheilaincali]

Union doesn't have shit to say about it.  Direct relatives of the owner are except from the union mandate. So Bossman (my dad), myself and my son are the only non-union employees. The crew all like my kid and are perfectly happy to have him hanging out with them.

The county inspector raised his eyebrows at it since the Boy is only 16 and my foreman told him "you have two choices, either Stephen rides up and down along the walk to keep people off it or you pay for us to rip it out and replace it every time some idiot walks in it. Which by the way you've had to do three times so far" Oddly enough the inspector decided it was no problem to have DS "guard" the walk.

[CarolinaKat]

Jul 11, 2014 15:21:13 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Union doesn't have shit to say about it.  Direct relatives of the owner are except from the union mandate. So Bossman (my dad), myself and my son are the only non-union employees. The crew all like my kid and are perfectly happy to have him hanging out with them.

The county inspector raised his eyebrows at it since the Boy is only 16 and my foreman told him "you have two choices, either Stephen rides up and down along the walk to keep people off it or you pay for us to rip it out and replace it every time some idiot walks in it. Which by the way you've had to do three times so far" Oddly enough the inspector decided it was no problem to have DS "guard" the walk.

Your crazy brother is union?

[zibazinski]

Jul 11, 2014 14:07:29 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Jul 11, 2014 13:22:04 GMT -5 Firebird said:

They're manipulative little buggers, no doubt about it

So the Boy started working for me this week. It has been going along just fine but man that kid tries to negotiate everything.

He keeps teasing me telling me he deserves a raise (after 2 days of working!)

Yesterday we needed him to guard the fresh sidewalk. We are paving two big roundabouts by our mall and idiots keep trying to cut through the jobsite so they can avoid having to drive around the detours. So we needed him to ride his bike back and forth along the fresh concrete sidewalk and yell at anyone that even thought about walking on it. He tells me on the way there "you know Mom, everyone else here is Union. I'm not saying I should get union scale but I should probably get closer to certified wages than my regular hourly wage". I held firm and bribed him with pizza for lunch instead of a raise.

Then he gets home and tells me he wants some "work comp" because he got a minor sunburn.  I told him "tough titties" and handed him a bottle of aloe gel and a quarter and said "here's your work comp Kid"

I seriously like your kid.

[ArchietheDragon]

Jul 11, 2014 15:21:13 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Union doesn't have shit to say about it.  Direct relatives of the owner are except from the union mandate. So Bossman (my dad), myself and my son are the only non-union employees. The crew all like my kid and are perfectly happy to have him hanging out with them.

The county inspector raised his eyebrows at it since the Boy is only 16 and my foreman told him "you have two choices, either Stephen rides up and down along the walk to keep people off it or you pay for us to rip it out and replace it every time some idiot walks in it. Which by the way you've had to do three times so far" Oddly enough the inspector decided it was no problem to have DS "guard" the walk.

The owner must have some good dirt on the union.  I like it. 

[Deleted]

What do you pay him regular hourly, if I can ask? Do you make him work so many hours, or is it his choice?

[sheilaincali]

No crazy brother works for the other company. It's convoluted but there are two separate corporations that my dad owns.  Dad and I work for both of them but Company A pays us our salaries (and is the Union Company).  Company A bills Company B for a portion of our salaries and calls it "Management Fees". My idiot brother works for Company B which is a non-Union Manufacturing Company. Company A is a Union Highway Heavy Road construction company.

Dad, myself and our mechanic are the only cross over employees - but the mechanic is a member of the Operators Union at Company A rather than the Laborers union like the other guys.  We have two union contracts and are required under the Operators Contract to have at least 2 operators on staff- we fulfill that requirement by having the mechanic be classified as an Operator.

This industry is so incestuous it's ridiculous. There is another company we work for that has 4 companies at the same address. One of the generals that we work for his two companies at his location. Another has their name company and then the owner's dad owns a small disabled Vet company that does work for him (state requires a portion of every job be awarded to DBEs). 

Furthermore- the Operators BA is neighbors of my mechanic and the Laborers BA's family is in the industry and his aunt used to work for Company B until I came on board and we encouraged her to retire (long story).

[sheilaincali]

Zib- I like him too

Archie-  Union BA is on my shit list currently.  I was pissed he made my college intern join the union.  The union F&*ked over my foreman on medications that his daughter needed.  The list goes on.  So he really doesn't say much to me because frankly I can be a total bitch when I need to be and he's afraid I'll complain up the chain.

Oped-  I pay him $10 an hour.  This week he worked just shy of 30 hours.  We had him all over the place.

Monday- he helped in the office for like 20 minutes.  Then my dad grabbed him and threw him in a bobcat to move some things and crawl under the paver to help the Mechanic.  At like 9:30am and then went off with a salesman for Company B and set up for a trade show 2 hours from here.  Then they stopped at a jobsite and checked on that progress.

Wednesday- He worked in the office for me all day- he is a huge help

Thursday- helped in the office until 11am and then the Foreman came in and said "thank god you're here!" and I dropped him off at the jobsite (had to swing by Verizon right by there to get new phones for a couple of the guys) and he patrolled the fresh concrete until I picked him up at 5pm. 

My deal with him- because I didn't want him sitting on his computer in his room or playing video games every day was that he had to work 3 days a minimum of three days a week for me.  He can work more if he wants.  The other two days he is free to do whatever- hopefully hang out with his friends. 

[Deleted]

Son is getting 9. Generally if dad needs him he has no choice, but most of the time it's his choice. But then if he doesn't have money, he doesn't get to spend. So I'm trying to make that incentivize him to work more. I've stopped paying for certain things. But, meh outcome so far. 

He was unhappy a bit today because I told him his total while I was doing payroll and he asked if that we as 'after stuff' I said yes thinking taxes, but he thought I meant after his 10% (which I make him send to savings) and phone bill... After which i guess he was disappointed. So maybe next week. 

[sheilaincali]

Understand completely. I told DS to prepare for taxes and that. His pay will be directly deposited into his checking account and from there I'll make him do an online transfer to his savings account. He has to save 50% I told him. 

He came into the family room last night and was telling me about this thing he wanted to donate to- some game thing that is matched up with a charity and if he spends $32 he gets a free t-shirt.  He thought it was for a good cause but was on the fence. I finally told him "bank of mom is closed" if you want to donate you have your credit card and you get paid again next Friday. So he did donate to the cause.

He is currently saving up for an Xbox One (not my idea but it's his money). He actually has enough to buy it now but wants to save up more first and figures he'll buy it towards the end of August.

[Deleted]

Humble Bundles? 

So you 1099 him. I do put son on payroll. I thought 8 was enough, since technically I fund his IRA, so I'm really 'paying' him 18 right now. I thought maybe he'd work more if he had less, lol. 
How did you get your a cc... You might have told me already.

[sheilaincali]

Yes. Humble bundles. No I have him on the regular payroll. I take out for taxes and all that jazz. 

His credit card is tied to his checking account. It's a visa check card. I just called it a credit card. Since he's under 18 I have to be on the account with him. 

[Deleted]

I have a big fan of Humble Bundles here That and kickstarter.

[sheilaincali]

Yeah we have supported a few dozen kickstarter campaigns. Mostly of the board game variety

[Firebird]

Right now Babybird is playing with the neighbor kids (water balloons, f yeah!) and I'm having a drink with DH on the patio. Life with my one kid is pretty good at the moment

[truthbound]

Jul 10, 2014 9:56:47 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Jul 10, 2014 3:48:44 GMT -5 truthbound said:

Ooh I said Medicaid instead of Medicare. You know what I meant. But if you really want to talk about why people who are 65 are required to have maternity coverage we can.
-----------------------------------------
Jul 9, 2014 10:58:27 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Very few 65+ year old women need to access either prenatal care or contraception.
------------------------------------------
Yet they are required to carry insurance for it. Weird huh?

Still not following how this is the fault of the administration. It isn't like they had insurance before Obamacare.  So your post still doesn't make sense IMO.

And not that it really matters, but if they fall into the gap, that is the fault of the state & if they opted to move to another state, they could get coverage.  Or opting to improve their lives & find a better paying job (or working 2 jobs) is also an option.

And if you are under 133% of poverty, can you really afford to be having children? Even if insurance pays for the birth, who is paying for the food, diapers, daycare, etc?

Yes it never will matter. Again I am not pointing out whose fault it is nor have I made any statement regarding who had insurance where or when. I simply said no on one here on the internets would or could help. No matter how you respond that will remain true. None of you will ever help these folks.

[truthbound]

Jul 10, 2014 9:56:47 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Jul 10, 2014 3:48:44 GMT -5 truthbound said:

Ooh I said Medicaid instead of Medicare. You know what I meant. But if you really want to talk about why people who are 65 are required to have maternity coverage we can.
-----------------------------------------
Jul 9, 2014 10:58:27 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Very few 65+ year old women need to access either prenatal care or contraception.
------------------------------------------
Yet they are required to carry insurance for it. Weird huh?

Still not following how this is the fault of the administration. It isn't like they had insurance before Obamacare.  So your post still doesn't make sense IMO.

And not that it really matters, but if they fall into the gap, that is the fault of the state & if they opted to move to another state, they could get coverage.  Or opting to improve their lives & find a better paying job (or working 2 jobs) is also an option.

And if you are under 133% of poverty, can you really afford to be having children? Even if insurance pays for the birth, who is paying for the food, diapers, daycare, etc?

Umm ok? I am respectfully sorry for your inability to follow. I was clear that their inability to to get insurance before and after Obammycare were for different reasons. I was also clear why they did not have kids. And I was crystal clear why there was no point in explaining the details to strangers on the internets who neither could nor would be willing to help. With that said if you are a super lawyer with a skillset beyond all others with the ability to beat the federal government I am sure they would love your help. But I sincerely doubt it. So there is no reason to expound further.

[sarcasticgirl]

clearly late to the thread... but I have no children, I have zero desire for children and I would laugh in the face of anyone who feels sorry for me because that is insanely asinine. . 

[sarcasticgirl]

Jul 7, 2014 6:53:01 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Jul 6, 2014 22:18:26 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Bullshit - that's your opinion.

Everyone makes their own choices in life - and some major accomplishments have been made in society - by people who either have or do not have kids - that's totally irrelevant to the topic..

And it's not even a point worth debating here - you just dragged that in to divert direction of the discussion - because many are finding your comments on the topic so ridiculous.

I don't get all of the shooby hate on here.  The question was asked and she gave her opinion much like the rest of us gave our opinion.  I am successful both professional and personally.  I have a lot of friends, have traveled quite a bit, built up some significant assets, etc.  But at the end of the day, all of that would mean nothing if I didn't have my children.  If I had to become penniless tomorrow to save one of my children I would. 

So to me, there is nothing more important in this world than my children.  To me, no one else's accomplishments mean as much to me as my children.  to me, being extremely accomplished professionally but not having children sounds very lonely and sad because that isn't the kind of life I want. 

I don't understand why everyone gets so bent out of shape over shooby's opinions.  She values having children much like I do.  that doesn't make her pathetic or that she has no life.  She just has different values than others.  I am sure she doesn't walk around in real life telling her childless friends that she feel sorry for them...but that WAS the question asked here.

It doesn't make sense to feel sorry for people who don't want kids because they happen to be your world. Clearly people who don't want kids,  don't feel like you do. 
Wouldn't it sound ridiculous if I said "life with kids seems depressing and nerve-wracking and miserable!" If I had kids... that is likely how i'd feel. But the key is that is how I WOULD FEEL in MY LIFE... clearly that is not how others feel in their lives. 
It is a matter of being able to remove ones own personal biases and view life from someone else's perspective. If you are unable to do that... well then of course, everyone that has a life that isn't exactly what you want is going to be unpleasant in some way.
It makes more sense to say "I would be sad and lonely if I didn't have kids" because clearly those who choose not to have kids, aren't sad and lonely. 

as a person without kids, it really gets EFFING annoying to listen to this crap over and over from people with kids. It is like, someone has a kid and they can't conceive of life any other way and because it works for them they suddenly have a bias towards those that have no kids. I have spent years being called selfish, listening to "you have no idea what you are missing" speeches etc. etc. 

Even if it isn't meant as such, it is condescending to feel sorry or judge other's lives as "depressing" or "lonely" simply because they chose a different path than you did. And yes, it does go both ways! 

[Deleted]

There are plenty of times I look at my friends with spread out families, who still wrestle with toddlers while I only have teens, with something akin to pity. 

I refuse to go to Great Wolf Lodge with a mixed group again. I'm at the point in life where I can say, check in at blank time, and take myself to the spa or for a drink.. I don't want to be chasing little ones around a water park... 

Etc. 

So I can definitely see how either party could look at moments in the others lifestyle, and feel a little sorry . But hopefully we all are happy with our choices overall.

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 13, 2014 11:22:13 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

Jul 7, 2014 6:53:01 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I don't get all of the shooby hate on here.  The question was asked and she gave her opinion much like the rest of us gave our opinion.  I am successful both professional and personally.  I have a lot of friends, have traveled quite a bit, built up some significant assets, etc.  But at the end of the day, all of that would mean nothing if I didn't have my children.  If I had to become penniless tomorrow to save one of my children I would. 

So to me, there is nothing more important in this world than my children.  To me, no one else's accomplishments mean as much to me as my children.  to me, being extremely accomplished professionally but not having children sounds very lonely and sad because that isn't the kind of life I want. 

I don't understand why everyone gets so bent out of shape over shooby's opinions.  She values having children much like I do.  that doesn't make her pathetic or that she has no life.  She just has different values than others.  I am sure she doesn't walk around in real life telling her childless friends that she feel sorry for them...but that WAS the question asked here.

It doesn't make sense to feel sorry for people who don't want kids because they happen to be your world. Clearly people who don't want kids,  don't feel like you do. 
Wouldn't it sound ridiculous if I said "life with kids seems depressing and nerve-wracking and miserable!" If I had kids... that is likely how i'd feel. But the key is that is how I WOULD FEEL in MY LIFE... clearly that is not how others feel in their lives. 
It is a matter of being able to remove ones own personal biases and view life from someone else's perspective. If you are unable to do that... well then of course, everyone that has a life that isn't exactly what you want is going to be unpleasant in some way.
It makes more sense to say "I would be sad and lonely if I didn't have kids" because clearly those who choose not to have kids, aren't sad and lonely. 

as a person without kids, it really gets EFFING annoying to listen to this crap over and over from people with kids. It is like, someone has a kid and they can't conceive of life any other way and because it works for them they suddenly have a bias towards those that have no kids. I have spent years being called selfish, listening to "you have no idea what you are missing" speeches etc. etc. 

Even if it isn't meant as such, it is condescending to feel sorry or judge other's lives as "depressing" or "lonely" simply because they chose a different path than you did. And yes, it does go both ways! 

And that is your opinion. I can feel sorry for or judge anyone I want...and much like I told to SL, if this is such a sore subject for you I have no idea why you would read the thread. The question was asked and we all answered. The fact that you don't like my answer doesn't mean I don't get to answer the question

[tallguy]

And that is your opinion. I can feel sorry for or judge anyone I want...

Of course you can.  The problem, though, is that actually DOING SO makes you sound like an idiot.

It's a stupid question.  Anyone answering affirmatively is basically admitting that they do not have the intellectual or emotional capacity to see life from any perspective other than their own.  It is perfectly valid for anyone to answer the question for themselves, as "I would feel that my life was not complete if I didn't have my kids."  It is both brazenly hubristic and utterly absurd to think yourself qualified to answer the question for someone else.

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 13, 2014 12:46:41 GMT -5 tallguy said:

And that is your opinion. I can feel sorry for or judge anyone I want...

Of course you can.  The problem, though, is that actually DOING SO makes you sound like an idiot.

It's a stupid question.  Anyone answering affirmatively is basically admitting that they do not have the intellectual or emotional capacity to see life from any perspective other than their own.  It is perfectly valid for anyone to answer the question for themselves, as "I would feel that my life was not complete if I didn't have my kids."  It is both brazenly hubristic and utterly absurd to think yourself qualified to answer the question for someone else.

Meh. If that is the worst thing some random Internet person can say about me....

[tallguy]

Oh, I doubt it's the worst....   

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 13, 2014 12:52:18 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Oh, I doubt it's the worst....   

I should hope not...otherwise I need to hand in my pink satin jacket and my "judgmental bitch" crown