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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 14:09:51 GMT -5
You are paying for his cell phone? No. Well, not anymore. We were on the same Sprint account and he was just going to pay me (because it's a great plan), but I decided to pay the $140 cancellation fee to get him off mine and got him on this plan. I had got him a credit card last Spring sometime because he was wanting to rebuild his credit and I still had the card in my purse. I set up Ting to charge to that card and gave him the card when I gave him the phone. Him with a CC is a bad idea, but whatever I guess. I WISH I would have transferred him last October. It would have saved me about $250, but I didn't know what was going to happen and I paid all his bills until the divorce. He didn't owe anyone a dime when the decree was signed.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 21, 2014 14:12:54 GMT -5
Kids need stability and a schedule and predictability. A set visitation schedule is probably in your son's best interest.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 18:23:27 GMT -5
If you ignore all the rest of us, please please please listen to Karaboo. She has been there. I'm not ignoring. I just have so much to think/worry about right now and I have a hard time focusing on multiple things at once. I end up just shutting down. Even my house that I normally kept immaculate is a mess now because I'm at a point where I just don't know where to start. Everything seems so out of control. I know you're not ignoring and I know how overwhelming all of this is. Hugs!! I've already read through the thread up until this point and I'm only going to respond to your posts Minnesota. With the benefit of hindsight, what follows is what I'm going to suggest you do as much as possible. Thankfully, you have the weekend to not currently worry about work, so one less thing to stress (unless you work weekends - if so I'm sorry!!). - #1 - Talk to your HR department about seeing if you qualify for intermittent FMLA. Let them know what's going on - also your boss if they don't already know. I realize you just weathered a round of layoffs, but the reality is you have a short amount of time to get some things in place and they need to know your taking care of some serious stuff.
- #2 - Call your lawyer and set up to get the paperwork much more specific. Identifying a neutral 3rd party for supervision and specific time frames for visitation. I'll see if I can get a copy of how I worded my son's supervision so you can see what I'm talking about.
- #3 - Take milee's (I think....if I got the poster wrong, I'm sorry!!) advice about setting boundaries with your Ex. Her wording and delivery is perfect in my opinion.
- #4 - ignore the condition of the house....on the list of things to worry about, this is absolute last. The only time you should focus on cleaning is if it is therapeutic for you to get out your frustration and/or to bury your thoughts into mindnumbingness. Either worked for me and I benefited from the cleaning and the mindnumbing.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You'll get through this!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 18:32:10 GMT -5
So are you going to let him come over whenever he wants and take your son wherever he wants to go? It's probably wrong of me to think this way, but I see it as he starts smoking weed again right after getting out, fails the piss test and goes back to jail for the two years that's hanging over his head. But, I do live 15 miles out of town and he doesn't have a car. He does need to come and get his motorhome though. That's the only thing he got in the divorce. Don't count on this happening. Same thing I used to hope and pray for. Actually....at one point....I actually wished my Ex would just die....it would be easier to deal with. That made me feel even worse about myself. What will probably end up happening.....he'll come by to pick up the motorhome and either 1) find some reason to convince you that he'll just live in your driveway (as it's so much cheaper - and he can see his son!) or 2) it will rot there or 3) he'll sell it and blow the money. He'll figure out a way to stay out of jail and in your hair and frustrating you. Ask me how I know this.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 18:32:55 GMT -5
Drat! I've got to go again - silly family thinks they need dinner! I'll be back again later.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 19:30:18 GMT -5
Hi MPL. I've been seriously overwhelmed by life events before, and I understand how it can be almost paralyzing. So many serious decisions to make, so much to do, you can barely think straight, let alone make good decisons or get things done. I wasn't dealing with the same situations as you but I really empathize with you on the feeling of being overwhelmed. I do think it's a good idea to set specific times and dates for your ex to see your son, and have someone trained for that kind of work appointed to supervise the visits. Then, everyone knows what to expect as far as visitation, you won't have to interact with your ex so much, and you won't have to play the role of supervisor during the visits. It seems like that would relieve at least some of the stress on you, would it not? If you have to pay a lawyer to get it set up, pay the lawyer. It doesn't have to be about fears of worst-case scenarios, as far as I can tell even under normal circumstances visitation is granted with some kind of schedule. The non-custodial parent gets certain days of the week or whatever. Your situation is complicated, you need specific rules in place so you have one less thing to figure out all the time. It will be already in place and you just go from there. Not only do you have to stand up for your son, you have to stand up for yourself. Both of your sons need you, and it's hard to be a present, good Mom when you're a wreck inside because you're stressed out. Plus, all the constant stress is very bad for your health. Your boys need you to stay physically healthy and alive. And don't worry about your house being messy. Take that off your list of things to worry about for now. It's not surprising that you're having trouble keeping up with the housework. It's ok. Take some time and think about what specific things are contributing to you feeling overwhelmed. Sort it out and figure out what you can do about each one. Write down the steps you need to take for each problem, and work your way through it, one problem at a time. If you write it down, you don't have to worry about trying to remember. Less stress. Addressing the problems is the only way to stop feeling overwhelmed. Of course, you can't control everything and everybody, but it really helps if you do what's within your power to do. It's very hard to get started, but once you start taking action, you'll start to feel better and you'll gain momentum and feel like tackling more. Take care of yourself. We're all rooting for you!
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Mar 21, 2014 19:32:14 GMT -5
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Mar 21, 2014 19:54:19 GMT -5
I don't think the situation is as dire as everyone seems to think.
They do have a custody order, MN has placement, X has supervised visits. JT custody isn't really that much different than sole custody when one parent has sole placement. If he's going to take off with the kid, no order is going to stop him.
What they need to work on is a schedule because the loosey goosey thing doesn't work for crazy people and abusive people. which x is both.
And I don't think any judge is going to give a second glance to MN wanting a set schedule based on X's behavior. I actually agree with you. When I went through my divorce, my ex screamed and hollered, threatened suicide and that he was going to get custody and hassled me all the time. He cried to everyone who would listen that I kept the kids from him. He bothered my parents. If you want to call your ex a level 10, I would put mine at around a 6 or 7 based on what I've read. I called his bluff. He ended up in the psych ward for about a week after the cops stormed my house. I got a restraining order and a lawyer who got him shut down in court. I had his wages automatically garnished a couple years after the divorce so he didn't have the option of not paying. This was after him not paying as a way to irritate me. He ended up paying even after the kids were 18 because of an arrearage. I never discussed anything regarding support with him. I told him if he didn't like it, take it up with the judge. When I stopped responding to his games, he moved on to someone else. It took me about a year but it literally happened overnight. I was just done. Had I continued engaging him, it would have gone on forever because thats just how ex is. He never kidnapped the kids. He never sued me for custody. He took very little of the visitation he was given. He wasn't at all involved in choices about school or medical treatment. He didn't call often at all, because I never answered the phone. I told him everything had to be in writing. It wasn't about the kids...it never was. He was pissed because I left him. You need to get a lawyer and get the custody agreement hammered out in detail. You can even write it out yourself and give it to your attorney. Find another babysitter for when he has the kid. But the biggest thing that has been said here is you are not responsible for this other adult..period. Its not your problem if he's not happy and you don't need to continually walk on eggshells to keep him happy because guess what...its not going to work BTDT. Stop talking to him. Stop accommodating his needs for rides and all that. He's an adult. If he cant figure out how to get from point A to point B....then getting to point B isn't that important to him. I also agree with Swamp....no judge is going to change custody based on the exes behavior.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 20:52:57 GMT -5
1. As someone who suffers with mental illness, can we all please stop calling my brethren "bat shit crazy." If you have to have your leg amputated, we wouldn't call you "amputee freak." I have little control over my own brain chemistry and trust me when I say that no one hates that more than myself.
2. As someone with a similar diagnosis, I would suggest MPL that you do as suggested. Get a lawyer, fix that stuff ASAP, then zero contact. I stayed with my DH partly because he always told me he would kill me if I ever left. I knew if I left it was going to be either disappear totally or deal with constant crap. The good news, is that you have a third option. Go to court and try to disengage as much as possible. He will either flip out or find another woman to target.
He won't like the court papers and will likely escalate. Let him do it while he is inside the halfway house where they can witness it and hopefully do something about it. If not, you will at least have a record of it.
I don't completely understand why you are divorced but still seem to spend a lot of time talking to him, etc... Seems court would fix that if you let it. End it. Completely, at least until you have some time/space from the situation.
Also, if he discovers you are "stalking" his phone you might get in trouble and lose your advantage. Not sure, not an attorney. But, I can't imagine it is legal for you to have tracers on his phone and you aren't even still married?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 21:23:54 GMT -5
I don't completely understand why you are divorced but still seem to spend a lot of time talking to him, etc... Seems court would fix that if you let it. End it. Completely, at least until you have some time/space from the situation. Well, because it's hard not to considering the circumstances with me being the supervisor, plus being that we've only been divorced for about a month and this wasn't the usual divorce where each goes there separate ways before (gets their accounts in order have their stuff etc), he needs me to tell him things like where is his IRA. Then there is the issue that a lot of the reason we were divorced was to get him on MA. I think he still feels that's the entire reason.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 21, 2014 21:24:42 GMT -5
Yeah that. (((((hugs))))) MPL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 21:28:17 GMT -5
Also, if he discovers you are "stalking" his phone you might get in trouble and lose your advantage. Not sure, not an attorney. But, I can't imagine it is legal for you to have tracers on his phone and you aren't even still married? Eh. Not worried about that. It was my phone for the last 6 months. He crushed his the night he was arrested, so I bought this one and activated it on our account so I could field calls while he was in jail. My son has been using it most of the time which is why I originally put the Life360 app on and "Find my Phone" is kind of standard with iphone if you have an icloud account. I also set up the account when I transferred him off Sprint. When I gave him the phone, I included a piece of paper with all the logins and passwords for everything. It's not my fault he hasn't changed any of them or reset the phone.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 21:49:06 GMT -5
The court order says any visitation must be supervised. He can't just pick him up
Does the pre-school know that they are not supposed to release your son to him? If they do that is a start, if they don't you need to make sure the director and everyone else knows that under no circumstances is your son to leave with anyone but you. He's not on the list of approved pick-up people at school (which is just me and my Mom), but in all honesty, I could take home any kid I wanted from there that didn't put up a fight. It's not like the people there are checking the list. You buzz in, go to the room and sign them out. Daycare lady wouldn't let him go with him, but she also couldn't physically stop him. Okay - I'm back. You need to let the daycare know (and any other organization that your son has contact with) that there is a court order that son is not to be left unsupervised with his dad. Give them a copy if necessary. This is one time where you want other people to know specifics. You don't want to keep it a secret because if "worst case" does happen, you want to make sure you have help as quickly as possible. Example - about 2 years after I gained sole custody of my son, Ex started writing what DH and I began referring to as "Ex's Manifestos". Letters that were 10, 15, 20 pages long that he would mail to our son. The letters were rambling and about all sorts of subjects, including how I was keeping son away from him and being a horrible person. Our son struggles with reading, so I would help him read through them (usually reading them first - just to make sure there wasn't anything horrible in them). One day, a letter came that was just a couple of pages long - which was definitely unusual. I read through it and stopped. I had DH read the letter without saying anything to him. DH finished reading and asked me, "is he planning on offing you!?!" That was the same conclusion I came to because of the wording...it was very suspicious. I told my friends and people I worked with about the letter, and sent emails to a select few with the instructions that if anything happened to me, to tell the police I suspect my Ex. Obviously, nothing happened to me, but I was rattled enough by the letter that I let everyone but Ex know about it. However, his last wife didn't get out quite so easy. Her death has been ruled as an accidental overdose (both were doing drugs, but were supposedly cleaning up). However...gut feeling tells me something different. I know, I know....I have no proof. But the circumstances of her death that was told to me by Ex (he called me just a couple of hours after "finding her dead" and wanted nothing but for me to allow son to come to his house where the police were still collecting evidence) was disjointed and made no sense. Still don't make sense.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 21:53:57 GMT -5
Well, there is also the fact that he's on probation and being monitored for two years, and one of the conditions of his probation is staying medication compliant. He also can't drink or even be around people drinking, so it would be really easy to turn him in to his PO for things. You would think this would be the case wouldn't you? However, the probation officer my Ex had/has would let him slide because he gave her such a huge sob story about this and that. Being that my Ex is a huge liar, I can't trust most of what he says - however, he usually brags about his "accomplishments", so I tend to believe him on things like this because I've seen some things like this first hand from him. I'm just saying that this isn't as fool proof as you may think....
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 22:02:14 GMT -5
He just called again, but I didn't answer. He left a message. He just got served all the child support stuff that I did yesterday and seemed confused by it. He was wondering what it was all about and if I knew or if this was something the county did and he said he was intending on supporting him, but he didn't want to have this big back bill because he wasn't going to be making any money for awhile. He also said he was getting his therapist to write up something saying that he was capable of being with our son without supervision and having it presented to the court. My Ex told me the same things....almost word for word about the CS issue. Originally, I allowed him to pay me directly (without going through the state) because his income was variable every month. We'd go several month of him paying just fine and then 2-3 months of no payments at all. The yo-yo payments happened until I took Ex to court for sole custody - so...7 years of yo-yo payments. I was told how horrible I was because now they (the state) was going to charge him interest for being behind. So? Not...My...Problem!!! He also repeatedly talked about taking me to court to get the supervised visitations lifted. Go ahead - that's his right to dispute custody. I'm not going to stand in the way. I've had sole custody for 8 years now and joint custody for 15. The only court actions that have happened have been initiated by me.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 22:13:14 GMT -5
It makes me angry, because it's not like my child support obligations don't exist when they're inconvenient. I feel like calling him back and saying, "well, maybe you'll rethink that private school thing now?". The child support part is only $300. And then they have him paying something like $85 towards his health insurance and $150 towards the $500 daycare. I don't even care if he doesn't pay. I wish I could trade that for custody. I know this feeling all too well also. Angry because I'm attempting to make a joint decision on what is best for "our" son, but the reality was I was being dictated to about "how it was going to be". How can I be the one in charge if every decision I made was being told "no - that's not good enough!" The wonderful thing about having primary custody and sole custody - those big decisions lie with the custodial parent. Once I realized that I didn't have to do everything Ex dictated regarding our son, my life was so much easier. Ex didn't want our son to be tested for any disabilities - because that would reflect back on him that he somehow created a "less than perfect child". When son was diagnosed with scoliosis at 10 months of age - Ex started believing son was flawed and treated him as such - the learning disability just cemented in his mind that "his" son was "damaged" It made me so sad that his own dad could think that, so I did all I could to shield son from that attitude. It took a while, but then I realized that I shouldn't have to shield our son...and I started getting ANGRY. Anger is good - anger is telling you that something isn't right. The rational part of you needs to examine exactly what it is that "isn't right" in your life and making you angry. That is your internal compass telling you that the direction needs to change.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 22:23:15 GMT -5
I see what has him worked up. They have him owing since last September so over 4K in back CS. I really didn't think they'd go after him for the time he was in jail making nothing. Sure...I can see that too.... However....did the costs of supporting your child stop because his father was in jail? It doesn't matter if he was in jail, in Timbucktoo, in another country, or in a coma. In the eyes of the courts, his father is still responsible for his portion of CS. At some point, you might be given the opportunity to "dispute" the amount he owes in back CS. I was given that opportunity. I was honest with the courts and provided a signed document that the amount the courts had listed that my Ex owed was inaccurate by over $3k. Ex had paid me and no matter how angry he made me, I wasn't going to sell my conscience for a couple of thousand dollars. Even if he does owe that money - sometimes the courts will allow you to "waive" the back amount (at least my state does - Texas). I'd leave it alone for now and use it for leverage if/when you might need to. Just my opinion of course....
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 22:33:39 GMT -5
Frozen is right. I'm supposed to hire a lawyer and go up in front of a judge and say I'm afraid of all these worst case scenarios and his lawyer is going to say I'm the one that needs to be treated for paranoia. That his client is a good dad who had some problems but is now is clean, medicated and working hard on rebuilding his life and he just wants to spend time with his son. Like others stated - you won't be up there alone. Right now, you're looking at this whole situation like you're going through this alone. You're not. You'll have your lawyer, just like your Ex will. You just can't see how much support you actually have because you see all of this help your Ex is getting (including from you!) and you feel like you're not getting any. I get this too! Take back your life and tell Ex no! You're not the only one who can help him. Even in your own post above, you verbalize him getting help, but you have none. This is him talking in your mind still. It is another form of control. I have a question that you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself - how many actual friends and family do you have available in your every day life? I'm not talking about your first Ex, but anyone else? If not, then this is a form of isolation that some emotional abusers utilize as well. You have no one because he (or she) has isolated you to the point that you've given up friends and avoided family because of XYZ reason that the abuser has convinced you of. I have no idea if this angle is accurate or not - but your post above makes it seem possible. It leaves the person in your position dependent on the abuser. You are stronger than this!!!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 22:55:02 GMT -5
I'm wondering why he needs a cell phone so much if he's not using it to call MPL. Facebook I'm assuming. He's been cut off from the world since last October and wants to check up on everyone. Besides the tracker I put on the phone, I also switched him to Ting and he hasn't bothered to change the password to the account. Probably doesn't know it means anything, but I can see every number he calls and texts. So far, just a few texts to me and calls to the halfway house. He has to call when he gets to places and right before he leaves. crap - just lost my post..... Anyway - what I tried to say was, don't assume that the phone is only for Facebook. Ask any teenager what the current popular medium is for "chatting with friends" and the answer won't be texting - parents can track that! Instead, they're on Twitter, Tumblr, and other chat apps that I don't know about. I gave up trying to keep up because as soon as I learned what they were on this week, they'd move to something else next week. (So - I installed Spyware on the house computer so I wouldn't have to keep track if I needed to know something. They don't have access to internet on their phones, so this is what gives me at least a little piece of mind.) If kids can figure it out, so can Ex's to hide things from the Ex-wife and half-way house personnel.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 21, 2014 23:12:14 GMT -5
Drat! I've got to go again - silly family thinks they need dinner! I'll be back again later. You do not want to know how much time I spent trying to get pictures of the drain at my back door posted to Cawiau's House thread. I guess I am channeling Marley Keesey or whatever Miss Kitty's new name is. Anyways I read her post, copied my pics to photo bucket, had some trouble so my family was asking me what in the world had me mumbling and grumbling... only to post to the thread from photobucket and realize my real name was showing up.
Thanks for helping MP out.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 21, 2014 23:19:40 GMT -5
MP and Karaboo, if MP goes to court she should not go alone. If she has any friends that know first hand what her EX is doing, they should go to court with her. I wish I had gone to court when my Ex-SIL filed for a restraining order against my SIL. It was spite, and I think largely intended to keep family from realizing how she had abused her step daughter. She also did not like the fact that her kids and BIL and SIL kids were going to the same school and SIL was there on the playground every day talking to her niece and nephew.
So she filed for a restraining order. Our family didn't think anything would come of it. She was making it up anyways. Well, My ex SIL took her Mother to court with her and her Mother Lied for her.
In the future anytime a family member goes to court, other family members will be present JIC. I get a good 4 weeks vacay. I can take a day off just because, here and there.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 21, 2014 23:21:36 GMT -5
Oh!!! I almost forgot to share my custody arrangement with you. Hope this helps!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 22, 2014 8:31:36 GMT -5
Well, MPL, your divorce wasnt the normal kind of divorce but divorcing someone mentally ill is never going to be normal. I think you feel bad that he is ill, I get that, but you can't fix that, you need to get THAT. You have a small child so you think you are going to be stuck dealing with this forever. I DON'T think so. Unfortunately, you will have to for at least 6 more years due to older child so best to get your ducks in a row now. Take the orders/advice from those who know the system, like Kara, and come up with the money and get it done. CS is for the child, not for you, and from experience, the courts will still allow visitation whether he pays it or not. You are out in the boonies somewhere I'm thinking with no near neighbors. Not good. If you can't fix that, then you need to fix how you react to that. There are cell phone blockers and you could be in trouble and can't even call. GET A GUN, now, and some training how to use it. Don't you have any friends? Probably not with his games but get some. Find a woman's support group. Usually church related but can be other places. You will find that not only are you not alone but that these women have good advice. I only did drop off pick up from parents who simply hated each other but visitation was set in stone. I would have never gone anywhere that was not a public place and never to either parties home-ever! Don't EVER let him come to your home and visit your son. Always a public place.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 22, 2014 18:58:35 GMT -5
I don't completely understand why you are divorced but still seem to spend a lot of time talking to him, etc... Seems court would fix that if you let it. End it. Completely, at least until you have some time/space from the situation. Well, because it's hard not to considering the circumstances with me being the supervisor, plus being that we've only been divorced for about a month and this wasn't the usual divorce where each goes there separate ways before (gets their accounts in order have their stuff etc), he needs me to tell him things like where is his IRA. MPL, you may still need to interact with him on details like this, but you do not have to do it in the way it is currently working. You don't need to be at his beck and call to answer any questions or bring him things. None of the things you've mentioned - IRA details, trailer, getting hand sanitizer - are things that can't wait until the weekly scheduled visit time that you're going to be setting up. He may think every question or desire he has is an emergency that needs immediate attention, but that's not reasonable and you don't need to say "how high?" every time he tells you to jump.
Start training him now. Once you get the weekly schedule set up, if he keeps calling in between times, don't answer. Let him know that he can gather up his questions/requests and give them to you (preferably in writing) at the weekly scheduled visit.
Again, it's about getting him in the mindset that there are clearly defined parameters he needs to follow in dealing with you.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Mar 23, 2014 1:58:17 GMT -5
MPL - I am going to come at this from a different place: Here is what I know - women try to be nice and cooperative in the hopes of getting along. The reality is that no matter what you do, he is not going to be happy about this situation and never will be. He is going to want more time with his son, different circumstances for visitation and/or anything else he decides on. In the same vein, no matter what, you will never be happy with this situation. No on wants to get divorced and everyone wishes their children had two healthy, sane, normal, loving parents in the same home. That is not possible now.
You are the one with custody so it is up to you to determine what visitation is appropriate and how much is adequate. I respect the fact that you want to be reasonable and fair. I also can understand that the divorce is recent and you are having a difficult time establishing a new normal. As hard as it is, it is up to you to determine what is adequate and appropriate for your son. There is no authority to turn to for these answers, nothing written in stone.
There have been so many times in life when I felt inadequate and unequal to the responsibilities thrust upon me. It took me a very long time to learn and then accept that my judgment is at least as good as others and often it is better than average. I see that same reluctance and concern in you.
The bottom line is this: you have custody and it is up to you to exercise YOUR best judgment to determine what you find to be appropriate and then follow that course. Maybe take some time and write out what guidelines YOU think are best for the situation you are in. Weekly or twice weekly visits with supervision, nightly phone call or maybe after dinner is better - it is whatever YOU think is best according to your divorce decree. Tough to do but it is best that you make the decisions for your child.
No matter what you do, XH will protest. I recommend putting a schedule on paper, giving him a copy and then sticking to it. I liked the idea of repeating the same information again and again as proposed by a previous poster. Also make notes of your reasons for your own records in case you go to court.
I can see that you are capable and competent - hope you can learn to also. I personally do not believe that children and parents are placed together by accident in this world. No matter how one believes he got there, he is your child in your care and you have to call the shots necessary to bring him up properly as defined by you - for good and for bad. Do your best and have confidence in that fact, if nothing else.
It's late, I am tired, and I am not going to re-read this. I hope I have conveyed that you can do this, that you do have the right to do as you see fit. There is no rule book and there are no easy answers. But you CAN do this.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2014 19:58:41 GMT -5
I have a question that you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself - how many actual friends and family do you have available in your every day life? I'm not talking about your first Ex, but anyone else? Family, my parents and a few aunts. They pretty much stay out of everything though. Friends pretty much none. A couple coworker ones, but no, come over and watch movie ones. I'm kind of a hermit though.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2014 20:01:39 GMT -5
Oh!!! I almost forgot to share my custody arrangement with you. Hope this helps!! So, yours says supervised, but doesn't say by whom as well. Did you take your child to a center?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2014 20:14:40 GMT -5
I greatly appreciate all the input by everyone, and even if I didn't reply to all the posts, I have read everything and gave them a lot of thought. I had pretty much shut off my computer this weekend as it has a been a huge time suck for me the past few months and seeing as I was feeling really good on Friday and it carried through the weekend I kind of ran with it. Saturday I took the boys to the National Eagle Center for the day for a big ta do going on there and also cleaned and polished my hardwoods and cleaned all three bathrooms (my son's was disgusting). Today I decided to get that beast of a motorhome from behind the barn up to the house so I could start loading his stuff into it, but the tire was flat, the wheels were frozen to the ground and there was a snow drift in front of it. I got the neighbors over and with a bobcat and a tractor we got it done...although I think we broke the gas line. I also took DS to visit his Dad for a couple hours and got my grocery shopping done and all our breakfasts/lunches made for the week. It's a small dent in all that I want/need to get done, but I felt at least like I'd done something. Oh, and for those saying I should turn my ex in for having a phone, no need anymore. He's hopelessly careless and was just playing on it in the living room area and had it taken away this evening. He called to tell me he didn't have it anymore and said he was going to talk to someone higher up there when they came in tomorrow, because "it's a stupid rule". He's also decided to keep the motor home because he thinks he can use it for his new business. Like when he has a job far away he can just park in their parking lot and stay there <sigh>.
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flutterby
Familiar Member
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Post by flutterby on Mar 23, 2014 20:38:58 GMT -5
I'm glad you had a good productive weekend.
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mollyanna58
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 13:20:45 GMT -5
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Post by mollyanna58 on Mar 23, 2014 20:42:32 GMT -5
I'm glad you had a good productive weekend.
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