NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 6, 2014 10:24:06 GMT -5
I have no clue how things are split. Whoever has the time to do X it does it.
I don't worry about it being split equally or anything. Sometimes I do more sometimes he does more. Sometimes neither one of us do anything, several YM-ers would have a heart attack if they saw my living room right now.
As Gwen gets older it's easier to get things done when she's around. When she was an infant my life was boiled down to breastfeeding and work for the sake of my sanity. DH stepped up to take over the rest or if he was exhausted too we just let it go.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:25:45 GMT -5
Well my point of my posts were to cut your spouse a little slack if you do end up with your DH being a SAHP because the situation is so different than having two people working and the kid in daycare. Reality is always different than expectations.
I really do get this. I promise And obviously there are circumstances (like yogiii's carseat example) where it would be completely UNreasonable for the working parent to expect the SAHP to stick with their "agreed upon" job duties when s/he could just as easily take over the part of the job that was causing undue hardship. I think that goes back to being a good and responsive partner. Frankly, I think we've got a good arrangement now and I really see no reason for one of us to ever stay home so this is all academic for me. But believe me, the point about cutting slack / not expecting reality to be exactly like the plan is not only taken but something I was aware of well before I had children. My plans practically never work out how I think they will DD cries in the car if we are in the car for more than 10 minutes and that only counts one way, if we are back in car in less than 2 hours, she is pissed! Yet, often if I need to run errands, I do take her. My husband does not, because the crying bothers him more than me. If I take her, DH often, though not always, takes the time to do chores.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 6, 2014 10:25:46 GMT -5
Also, Firebird, you guys spend 4 hours a week grocery shopping? WTF?
Absolutely. Visiting more than one store eats that up in no time. A normal shopping afternoon for DH and Babybird is Safeway and Costco. They're usually gone for 2.5-3 hours. Add in the shopping we do during the week, and we're up to four hours.
Mind you, the random shopping during the week has to stop (it's what's been killing our grocery budget) but DH has started comparison shopping, so I see it totaling about the same amount of time.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 6, 2014 10:28:24 GMT -5
Honestly, I don't keep track of how much we each do. It doesn't matter because overall we are achieving our family goals. When I get pissy about the workload, it's because my emotional needs or basic physical needs aren't being met. That's my job to make sure I'm getting taken care of. I mean, if I need to take a nap and don't speak up, I can't get all pissed off at my H for that. I think this is very insightful. Your household sounds a lot like mine. Being nice to each other and modeling gratitude (as you put it) goes an awfully long way. It's a combination of two things: My mom was a SAHM. But she was rather martyrish about it. I know the roots: that she felt unappreciated. But also, she didn't speak up for herself, rather it was Dad's and my job to try to read her mind and tend to her emotional needs by guesswork. Needless to say, our homelife wasn't always smooth growing up. Plus, when you are married to a recovery addict whose trigger is emotional needs not being met, well, you learn to be more aware of these things.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 6, 2014 10:29:02 GMT -5
Ours is probably close to even with DH doing a bit more housework Neither of us works anymore Me: 99% of the cooking 50% of the laundry 40% of the housework (guessing) 0% of vehicle maintenance 90% of the yardwork
DH: 99% of meal cleanup 99% of the vacumning 99% of vehicle maintenance 100% of exterior maintenance 50% of the laundry
We split the pet care. He feeds them in the mornings, we both walk them, I feed them in the evenings. I take them to the groomer and vet and bath them in between groomer visits. We both pick up their toys, bones, balls.
I do 100% of the finances.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:29:14 GMT -5
Also, Firebird, you guys spend 4 hours a week grocery shopping? WTF?
Absolutely. Visiting more than one store eats that up in no time. A normal shopping afternoon for DH and Babybird is Safeway and Costco. They're usually gone for 2.5-3 hours. Add in the shopping we do during the week, and we're up to four hours. Mind you, the random shopping during the week has to stop (it's what's been killing our grocery budget) but DH has started comparison shopping, so I see it totaling about the same amount of time. We really did not have the time for that, so what we ended up doing was a major trip every two weeks (takes about two- two and half hours) and a quick milk, fruit etc trip once a week (about an hour). That is with comparison shopping but I've been doing the comparison shopping for 4 years now and started when I was a stay at home wife. I had the time to learn all the tricks. Give yourself some slack as you try to change things. Also have you considered Swann's or QVC/amazon to have some things delivered to you?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:29:47 GMT -5
Well my point of my posts were to cut your spouse a little slack if you do end up with your DH being a SAHP because the situation is so different than having two people working and the kid in daycare. Reality is always different than expectations.
I've done it all. Two working parents, SAHP (both the one home and the one working), single parent. You really don't know until you live it, but there are a lot of other variables that come into play with the SAHP situation. It's not so cut and dry as one person now having an extra 40 hours a week for household chores.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:32:00 GMT -5
Also, Firebird, you guys spend 4 hours a week grocery shopping? WTF?
Absolutely. Visiting more than one store eats that up in no time. A normal shopping afternoon for DH and Babybird is Safeway and Costco. They're usually gone for 2.5-3 hours. Add in the shopping we do during the week, and we're up to four hours. Mind you, the random shopping during the week has to stop (it's what's been killing our grocery budget) but DH has started comparison shopping, so I see it totaling about the same amount of time. Holy cow. I swear I only do about 2 hours/month. One big trip to Sam's Club (done in less than an hour because the kids would drive me nuts if I was there any longer), and maybe a couple quick stop at the local grocery on the way home from work every month. I do get milk from the gas station a couple times a week, but again, it's in and out.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Feb 6, 2014 10:33:40 GMT -5
Absolutely. Visiting more than one store eats that up in no time. A normal shopping afternoon for DH and Babybird is Safeway and Costco. They're usually gone for 2.5-3 hours. Add in the shopping we do during the week, and we're up to four hours. Mind you, the random shopping during the week has to stop (it's what's been killing our grocery budget) but DH has started comparison shopping, so I see it totaling about the same amount of time.
Holy CRAP. We go grocery shopping once a week. Depending on when DD's nap is, we'll even go out to eat before we grocery shop. We live 12 miles from the nearest grocery store and we are still not gone for more than 2 hrs. Even the week we were getting ready for the kids' birthday party.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Feb 6, 2014 10:35:10 GMT -5
I find that all the keeping score doesn't do much for a marriage.
After 30 years of marriage (to the same man), I have come away with an attitude that is: If you see something that needs done, do it. If you need help, ask for it from your mate. I call it DO IT NOW TECHNOLOGY!
All the score keeping in the world will not get the floor mopped, so just get with it.
Each couple has their own way of working through the division of house/yard work and child rearing. No two couples do it the same way.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 6, 2014 10:37:11 GMT -5
Somehow, we just don't have that many "chores". We also aren't OCD about things being white glove spotless. The laundry machine does most of the work when it comes to laundry. I'll fold it while watching t.v. in the evening and put it away during a commercial break, so it doesn't really feel like a chore. We've mastered 30 minute meal cooking, so cooking is not a big deal either. Whoever is not cooking is entertaining our toddler.
Either of us will wipe down the shower when in it. Swish the toilet at some point before or after using it. Wipe down the bathroom counter while brushing teeth. Vacuum maybe once every other week~ 20 minutes (we don't have pets). If I go to the grocery store, I'm in and out in 15-20 minutes. If he goes to the grocery store, it takes 1-2 hours. He loves the grocery store and I hate it, so we never go together. Whoever is not at the grocery store is entertaining our toddler.
It takes 1 minute to take the trash/recycling out since it's in the garage a few steps away from the kitchen. If I'm cooking, I clean the kitchen while I'm waiting for something. If he's cooking, I have to clean up after him or be content to let it sit there and harden and become a larger effort- which is no bueno. The dishwasher does the rest of the work. 5 months out of the year, he cuts the grass ~ 1 hour a week- no big deal if it stretches to 10 days.
Otherwise, we keep stuff picked up/uncluttered and it's not a big task because it stays uncluttered. Entertaining a young child is much more time-consuming than any chores. Saturday, I'm usually spending the bulk of the day with my toddler. I'll make her some eggs for breakfast, take her to library storytime and then read books/work puzzles, out to lunch, the children's museum (or the playground when it warms up), home for some crafts, etc. There is no time for chores and at 8PM when she goes to bed, I'm sitting on the couch relaxing.
If one of us became OCD about the house, we would promptly get a house-cleaning service. Life is just too short and there are more enjoyable ways to spend it.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 6, 2014 10:37:23 GMT -5
Yeah, and about the grocery shopping thing. DH spends two hours a week, max. He goes to 1-2 stores and spends about 45 minutes at each store. But, we also have spent 9 years meal planning and developing an electronic shopping list. So, our systems are pretty good now.
We make 4-6 trips to costco a year. If we had to go every week, I wouldn't go, because there's no time savings in that.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Feb 6, 2014 10:39:17 GMT -5
For the folks who don't grocery shop once a week, what do you do for fresh meat, fruits, and veggies?
To be honest, I could live out of my pantry/freezer for a few months, but I gotta have fresh fruit and veggies every week!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 6, 2014 10:40:16 GMT -5
I'm not sure how long we take to grocery shop, I've never timed it. We go to my MIL's for dinner every weekend, we leave Gwen there and go to do our shopping. Grocery shopping has become our "alone time". I've even ran into Hy-Vee yelling "freedom!" For the folks who don't grocery shop once a week, what do you do for fresh meat, fruits, and veggies
I freeze all our meat. When we've ran thru the fresh vegetables I have several bags of frozen in the freezer. Fruit it depends. Winter fruit like oranges last forever so I get enough to last. Spring fruit like berries I try to get only the amount I can eat before they spoil. I can live a few days till we get to the store again.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 6, 2014 10:42:47 GMT -5
As Gwen gets older it's easier to get things done when she's around. When she was an infant my life was boiled down to breastfeeding and work for the sake of my sanity. DH stepped up to take over the rest or if he was exhausted too we just let it go.
That's another thing - I think it varies a lot by person. We all have different things that stress us out, and one of my big things is a messy house. When I was on maternity leave, keeping the place clean helped me to feel relaxed. It's the same now. Knowing I'm coming home to a disaster zone makes me dread coming home - but for other people, feeling pressured to clean the house every night might make THEM dread coming home.
So different households operate differently.
It's not so cut and dry as one person now having an extra 40 hours a week for household chores.
I definitely don't think it's "cut and dry" but just going by simple logic, if you're not working you DO have an extra 40 hours in your week - for SOMETHING. Is it practical to think you can use all of that extra time on home maintenance? Obviously not, especially if you have young children. But that is still a lot of extra time and it's completely flexible, not tied to a certain rigid daily schedule. So I, personally, think it's reasonable for some to most home maintenance to fit into those extra hours, even if you have to factor in taking care of kids. Taking care of kids and home maintenance are not necessarily mutually exclusive (except possibly during the toddler years).
It's a combination of two things: My mom was a SAHM. But she was rather martyrish about it. I know the roots: that she felt unappreciated.
Interesting. For me it was the opposite: having a SAHM while growing up taught me how valuable they are and how much they deserve appreciation.
Also have you considered Swann's or QVC/amazon to have some things delivered to you?
No but I'll look into it with DH. Thanks for the tip! Probably have to have Amazon Prime to make that cost-effective, huh?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:44:55 GMT -5
The 2 main stores we use have childcare rooms, so I drop the kids off and go. One gives you an hour and the other gives you and hour and a half (guess which one I choose? )
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quince
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Post by quince on Feb 6, 2014 10:48:15 GMT -5
It works quite well, thank you.
Me: 20-24 hours a week working 2 hours commute 1 hour daycare pick up/drop off 4+ hours cooking 8+ hours (cleaning/packing/etc) 14 hours AM/PM routine 20+ hours childcare while husband works.
65+ hours
Spouse: 4 hours class XX? PhD research/writing 2 hours teaching martial arts 1.5 hours daycare wrangling 60+ hours working 4 hours household tasks? 3 hours childcare while I'm at work
81.5+hours As far as kid sleeping 12 hours, adult sleeping 8...
My child goes to bed at 8:30. It takes about half an hour to an hour for me to get him to sleep on a good night. He also wakes up 2-3 times during the night to nurse. He wakes up between 6:50-7:30. In theory he naps during the day, but for half an hour to an hour at best, and half of that time is holding him as he's sleeping lightly, before he can be put down. Maybe he gets 12 hours of sleep, but 4 + of those hours are not hours in which I can go do something else.
I also have a very hard time getting to sleep. It sometimes takes me 2-3 hours. I'm definitely not getting 8 hours of sleep. This is fine and does not make me sad, but if my spouse expected me to get anything done with my "extra" four hours a day, he'd be an asshole. Instead, he's NOT an asshole, and makes sure I get time to nap a couple of times a week and reminds me to take care of myself before taking care of anything else.
I take care of both getting the kid to sleep and his morning routine, most of the cooking, and am the one who handles the child most of the time because my husband is obscenely busy, and stays up to work while I put the kid to bed. He will wrangle the child while I cook and clean, because he doesn't get enough time with the kid as he is, and I would prefer he do that to cooking and cleaning. He STILL makes a meal or two a week, cleans the bathroom, puts away the dishes, and helps me with keeping the house clean.
My husband would never expect me to get everything in the household done while taking care of our kid for 40 hours a week, and I would never expect him to be able to do that, either, because we both know our child. We initially planned to NOT have daycare, and have my husband watch the kid/work while I worked part time. He is in daycare because my husband realized that would not work. He is in daycare full time because it did not cost much more and my husband would like me to get some sleep. Our child is sweet and has a great attitude, but is alert, always awake, always interested in things, extremely mobile, and a massive attention sink. It's very likely that what can be done while managing our son will increase as he becomes more and more independent, but we're not there yet.
In your family, your expectations make sense, because you know your child. In our family, our expectations make sense, because we know ours. The best thing for an employed parent with a SAHS is probably to take vacation time and spend some time being fully responsible for the kid, and see what they can get done while handling their child. Mix that with some understanding that not everyone can handle the same workload, and find the right balance for their home.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 6, 2014 10:49:03 GMT -5
After 30 years of marriage (to the same man), I have come away with an attitude that is: If you see something that needs done, do it. If you need help, ask for it from your mate. I call it DO IT NOW TECHNOLOGY!
This is pretty much exactly the attitude I've adopted and it's working so much better now. If I see something that needs to be done, I either do it myself or I ask DH nicely to please help me with X. He is always willing to do things, he just doesn't normally take initiative to do them because he doesn't care if they get done right away - whereas I do. This was a huge revelation to me and it's made a really remarkable difference.
We make 4-6 trips to costco a year. If we had to go every week, I wouldn't go, because there's no time savings in that.
We're doing more and more of our weekly shopping at Costco because it is a huge cost savings for us - but you're right, the time savings is not there. I personally hate Costco because you have to hunt for everything and there's always a billion people around but I love how much more bang we get for our buck.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:49:03 GMT -5
For the folks who don't grocery shop once a week, what do you do for fresh meat, fruits, and veggies? To be honest, I could live out of my pantry/freezer for a few months, but I gotta have fresh fruit and veggies every week! I do mostly frozen. I'll pick up some fresh when I'm there, especially things that last a long time, but we're good with the steamable bags of veggies and I get these big bags of frozen mixed fruit from Sam's that the kids just love. They don't even want it thawed out. Meat, I get a quarter of beef once a year from the neighbor and buy a lot of frozen chicken breasts.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 6, 2014 10:52:14 GMT -5
It's a combination of two things: My mom was a SAHM. But she was rather martyrish about it. I know the roots: that she felt unappreciated.
Interesting. For me it was the opposite: having a SAHM while growing up taught me how valuable they are and how much they deserve appreciation. Oh, I totally value the SAHP lifestyle. I would only marry someone who supported one parent SAH. And. yes, I am grateful for having involved parents. But it came at a price. I didn't value hearing how awful my dad was day in and day out for 15 years because he didn't do enough around the house. That working wasn't enough. About how it was basically her job to raise me. I'm also guessing your mom didn't raise you from day one to believe that it was your job to make her happy. And that if she wasn't happy, it was your fault, and you'd better figure out a way to fix it. (even in elementary school.) I'm guessing that your mom didn't make you guess, literally why she was mad at you. I'm guessing your mom didn't choose to give you the silent treatment until you figured out why she was mad at you. I could have done without learning that men were lowly and deserved nothing, while women were far superior. I'm guessing also that your mother was not also clinically depressed, knew it, and CHOSE to go without treatment. It's also likely my mom has other assorted mental illnesses that went untreated. And, I really could have done without all the enmeshment.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:52:32 GMT -5
For the folks who don't grocery shop once a week, what do you do for fresh meat, fruits, and veggies? To be honest, I could live out of my pantry/freezer for a few months, but I gotta have fresh fruit and veggies every week! Frozen vegetables, apples and pear last the whole two weeks, getting fruit a little unripe, and during the summer I often garden. And often we do a short, quick run for basics, during the non-shopping week.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:54:29 GMT -5
As Gwen gets older it's easier to get things done when she's around. When she was an infant my life was boiled down to breastfeeding and work for the sake of my sanity. DH stepped up to take over the rest or if he was exhausted too we just let it go.
That's another thing - I think it varies a lot by person. We all have different things that stress us out, and one of my big things is a messy house. When I was on maternity leave, keeping the place clean helped me to feel relaxed. It's the same now. Knowing I'm coming home to a disaster zone makes me dread coming home - but for other people, feeling pressured to clean the house every night might make THEM dread coming home. So different households operate differently. It's not so cut and dry as one person now having an extra 40 hours a week for household chores.
I definitely don't think it's "cut and dry" but just going by simple logic, if you're not working you DO have an extra 40 hours in your week - for SOMETHING. Is it practical to think you can use all of that extra time on home maintenance? Obviously not, especially if you have young children. But that is still a lot of extra time and it's completely flexible, not tied to a certain rigid daily schedule. So I, personally, think it's reasonable for some to most home maintenance to fit into those extra hours, even if you have to factor in taking care of kids. Taking care of kids and home maintenance are not necessarily mutually exclusive (except possibly during the toddler years). It's a combination of two things: My mom was a SAHM. But she was rather martyrish about it. I know the roots: that she felt unappreciated.
Interesting. For me it was the opposite: having a SAHM while growing up taught me how valuable they are and how much they deserve appreciation. Also have you considered Swann's or QVC/amazon to have some things delivered to you?
No but I'll look into it with DH. Thanks for the tip! Probably have to have Amazon Prime to make that cost-effective, huh? No, I do subscribe and save or buy once in while to stock up so it is more than $30.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 6, 2014 10:54:55 GMT -5
I'm freaked out by how little people spend time cleaning. If you wipe down a sink with a clorox wipe daily, and there's no gunk anywhere, what more must you do to clean it?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 10:56:03 GMT -5
I know I'm creating more work when we do our "experiments" but I wouldn't have it any other way.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 6, 2014 10:57:02 GMT -5
I'm freaked out by how little people spend time cleaning
I set the bar low, as long as A&E isn't on my doorstep telling me I'm nominated for Hoarders I'm good.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 6, 2014 10:58:27 GMT -5
In your family, your expectations make sense, because you know your child. In our family, our expectations make sense, because we know ours. I totally agree. Different families have different needs and what is "reasonable" for one family might be totally unreasonable for another family. Again, I think it all goes back to having a supportive partner. People who can do this alone (and do it well) are my heroes, seriously. Raising a child without a solid, dependable partner has to be one of the hardest things in the world. I really like what giramomma said about keeping score - how you really only do it if you feel undervalued by your partner. I think that's completely true - at least, it's been completely true in my life. Now that DH and I have hit a nice balance, it doesn't matter to me whether he does "his" chores or cleans up "his" messes. It'll get done and we're both happy - that's what matters. Gotta go to work now, but this has been a really interesting discussion so far! I'll try to tune in tomorrow.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 6, 2014 11:00:04 GMT -5
I'm also guessing your mom didn't raise you from day one to believe that it was your job to make her happy. And that if she wasn't happy, it was your fault, and you'd better figure out a way to fix it. (even in elementary school.)
Absolutely not, and I'm sorry that happened to you. No kid deserves to be treated that way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2014 11:00:47 GMT -5
I'm freaked out by how little people spend time cleaning
I set the bar low, as long as A&E isn't on my doorstep telling me I'm nominated for Hoarders I'm good. I don't clean a lot either. It's mainly just necessary maintenance level, a little here a little there. Like grandma always said, Cleaning a house while the kids are growing, is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Feb 6, 2014 11:02:56 GMT -5
But regardless, what I MEANT by that is this: If a working spouse is spending 40+ hours working outside the home, it is not at all unreasonable to me for the SAHS to spend a similar amount of time working inside the home. And I don't really count all childcare into those hours because all parents have to take care of their kids on their "off" time. Why are you hung up on the need to "spend a similar amount of time working"? Why does it matter? Isn't it more that two people share in the effort of running a home and raising their kids? That division is based on what a couple agrees to. So to me, the hours that " count" as working hours for a SAHP (and I'm not saying it's automatically 40 hours and not a minute more - I can see it being a LOT more at certain times, just as a 40 hour work week is sometimes much more) are hours spent doing actual household work as I outlined above which would normally be SHARED between two working parents, e.g. cleaning/ cooking/ shopping/ some childcare (again, not all because working parents have to do some too). What's normal? That's only defined by what each family decides it is. Sometimes a wife and husband disagree on what defines "clean" or "cooking" or "shopping". And therein lies the rub. Most come to some sort of agreement. Some don't and there's friction. But, often that friction is present in other areas of the union as well. And sometimes, one or the other just picks up the slack and gets on with it. Everyone's marriage works differently. And that's really what is at the core here. I must have said it badly, but that's what I meant. That IN MY OPINION, keeping a household running smoothly is part of a SAHS/P's job and the working parent shouldn't have to do much of what they would have to do if both parents were working. And that's just it, your opinion which only has meaning for you and yours......who are you to say what "should" be done to keep a household running smoothly in someone else's home? And what is defined by that varies. Such a pronouncement makes me laugh.
For most of the almost 30 years I've been married we've been through a number of different work and child care situations. But for the most part, I still do all laundry, food shopping, finances/investing, house cleaning.
DH was going to school when DD was born and I worked full time in my profession. He only went part-time and took care of her when he wasn't in school. He studied and took care of our income property. I did all the cleaning, most of the cooking, all of the shopping, finances, bath time, most diaper changes and a host of other things. I was young, strong and Type A motivated to do everything. I was fine with it. It worked for us.
When we had our 2nd, I stayed home for a year. Except the income property, I continued to do all that I always did including being with my two kids....Really, really enjoyed that time when DS was an infant and DD was a toddler.
When I went back to work after a year, again, I continued to do the same set of chores/responsibilities.
And today, I continue to do most household chores(DH cleans the family room/man cave and his full bath downstairs), shopping, finances, laundry....whatever. My household runs like a well oiled machine. Our house is neat and clean and as I'm a minimalist, is clutter free. Makes it easy to maintain. When the kids were young, DH made them a toybox on casters. When they were done playing, the stuff went in the box and got wheeled away. Our house is small so keeping toys picked up and put away when they were done was important to keep things organized.
It probably isn't the way you do it but who cares.....We're in our 30th year of marriage and the only people who have a say are DH and I.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,084
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 6, 2014 11:03:35 GMT -5
I'm supposed to tidy up my car? Crap. If I want it clean I leave it at my MIL's. She even dusts the dashboard. The dirtier the inside of my car is the more she's compelled to clean. Wiping down the counter/stove gets done while doing dishes. 99% of my paperwork is electronic, I don't have things to shred every day. I use Scrubbing Bubbles toilet gel and automatic shower sprayer in the bathroom so those take care of themselves leaving me a quick quick down of the sink. We could do better on toys, but it really don't bother me as much as it does others as long as I'm not flying across the room after stepping on it.
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