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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 10:53:48 GMT -5
Normally shoes stay on when in someone's but I have a few close friends where I take shoes off almost immediately without thinking. But these are very close curl on the couch with some wine friends. I even keep jammie pants at one friend's house. In our home, shoes are the first thing to come off. How can you feel at home with shoes on your feet? I don't put shoes on when friends come over so feel free to take yours off! I also don't care if you keep them on. I've never thought much about the subject until now. These are pretty much the only kind of friends/family I have over. I don't throw formal dinner parties at my place or would even want to go to one if I knew people that had them. The one big bash I have every year is in July and that's outside. Shorts, t-shirts and flip flops attire.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 10:58:12 GMT -5
I don't ask guests to take their shoes off, but I'm not offended when I'm asked to at other people's homes. It also depends on the type of occasion. If I'm dressed up, I'd rather wear my dress shoes than walk around barefoot or ruin my pantyhose. However, if your shoes are wet and/or dirty I would be mad if you didn't take them off. My floors may not be spotless, but I don't need them to get filthy either. I think if I had a party at home, I'd make an exception and just be prepared to do some heavy cleaning afterwards. I've never had a real party at home though. Just "get togethers" with family and close friends and backyard bbq's. I doubt I'll ever have the kind of party at my home where people will get all dressed up to attend. I have never visited anyone's home and been asked to take my shoes off. Most people around here will probably think it's just as crazy as DD did. I don't really care though.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 4, 2013 11:02:00 GMT -5
I am so thankful that I grew up where I did and that I live where I live....I don't know anyone who expects guests to take off their shoes in their house. You mean in the entire state of MD no one asks guests to take their shoes off? Well, I know one family that does. DB and his family live in Maryland. They leave their own shoes in the entryway from the garage. They don't really ask, but my family and I follow suit. It's not a big deal -- we don't wear shoes in our own house either. Why add to one's housekeeping with dirt and grime and dust and pollen and God knows what else that is on shoes?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 4, 2013 11:04:49 GMT -5
I would have to know ahead of time if wearing slippers was required before entering a persons home. NO WAY am I putting on slippers worn by someone else - think athletes foot, nail fungus and all the other stuff. I be bringing my own slippers or staying home. And yes I know noone here has friends whose "feet" don't stink
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 11:09:48 GMT -5
I would have to know ahead of time if wearing slippers was required before entering a persons home. NO WAY am I putting on slippers worn by someone else - think athletes foot, nail fungus and all the other stuff. I be bringing my own slippers or staying home. And yes I know noone here has friends whose "feet" don't stink The slippers are usually these ugly crocheted things that everyone's grandma knits. They leave bumps on your feet and you throw them in the washer after they have been used.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 11:12:22 GMT -5
It's funny to be explaining all of this. In my circles this is just a given. Nancy made a joke about giving the slippers as a housewarming gift but I know people that have done that.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Dec 4, 2013 11:18:03 GMT -5
I grew up in Florida and live in South Georgia. I have never taken off shoes when entering a house. And never had anyone take theirs off when entering mine And until I read this thread i didn't realize how grateful I am that no one ever did!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 4, 2013 11:23:32 GMT -5
I don't mind taking my shoes off but I hope your floor is clean enough that my socks are not dirty after I leave
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Dec 4, 2013 11:26:17 GMT -5
I wonder if it's not only regional, but also related to economic class. I grew up pretty poor - the first time I ran into the taking shoes off thing was about the time I moved into the current subdivision I live in - which is a few steps above the level I grew up in. People would come to my house and either start to take off their shoes or ask if they should. My answer has always been no. And I was shocked the first time somebody asked me to take my shoes off when I went in their house. (I did it - but it seemed very odd to me).
In bad weather, I've always put a little rug in front of the entry so people can wipe the dirt/wet off of their shoes before they step into any other areas of the home. Good enough for me.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 4, 2013 11:34:08 GMT -5
I live in the land of flip flops, so very rarely have I been asked to take off shoes, but since they're flip flops they tend to fall off sooner or later anyways. I have no rules, I take my shoes off when I get home because I like to, but it's not even on my mind to take shoes off at other people's houses. Even at my parents house I'm apt to keep my shoes on longer now that I'm not living there. I don't have people over often, but most of the time they are over I'd say people keep their shoes on.
For those that want shoes off - maybe bulk buy those cheap flip flops that you wear after a pedicure if you didn't wear flip flops? If the slippers are something that's obviously easily washed that's one thing, but I think of those big, fluffy slippers that aren't very washable.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 4, 2013 11:35:53 GMT -5
I can't imagine asking anyone to take their shoes off. If someone asked me to, I'd leave.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 11:39:27 GMT -5
That's why I thought of the socks. It would be obvious they haven't been worn before, so people wouldn't have to worry that I'm offering them something that someone else's possibly dirty feet have been in. LOL at Lena hoping the floors don't make her socks dirty.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 4, 2013 11:40:54 GMT -5
Socks you take with you would work too. Wonder which one is cheaper?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 4, 2013 11:55:23 GMT -5
My grandma has never knit slippers like that. Prior to reading this thread I've never seen crochet slippers before.
Maybe if y'all lived in a climate that was actually fit for human habitation you wouldn't have to come up with these bizarre customs.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 15:20:42 GMT -5
I don't mind taking my shoes off but I hope your floor is clean enough that my socks are not dirty after I leave Since no one else gets to wear their dirty shoes on the floor either, your socks don't get dirty
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 4, 2013 16:11:41 GMT -5
I usually ask guests to remove their pants...to each their own I guess ! We only do that on Mondays. That's how I really got my nick name POM. It stands for Pants Off Monday. When we first moved in our house there was still a lot of building going on around us. That meant paint being poured on the ground, wet stucco/concrete/chew spitting... and I asked people to remove their shoes after one friend's DH tracked stucco all through my house after I spent hours washing the floors. Now I do ask contractors to take their shoes off or wear booties when they run in and out especially if they are painting or doing a/c work. With out fail the a/c guys shows up when it's raining and when he goes outside to check the lines or compressor it gets muddy on that side. Why should I have to rewash my floors and have my rugs steam cleaned AND pay for the work done? They usually do it on their own (remove shoes or cover them) unless you get the village idiot who is there as a trainee (and does nothing of use to anybody) walking around my house (and has no reason to be any where else) putting his dirty hands on my walls and touching my stuff. I asked the guy who was actually working why this other guy was even here. He rolled his eyes and said he's here to observe. I told him to have him observe outside please and keep him out there. I would have thought he was casing the joint but he was too stupid to know to do that before robbing somebody. If I go to a party that is semi formal I would not like having to remove my heels either. I don't recall ever having to but I've not gone to any of those in years. My friends are casual or we go out to dinner when we get a bit dressier.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 4, 2013 16:59:14 GMT -5
Well, I personally don't wear shoes in my apartment, but I live alone. But I don't keep hard and fast rules. I'll usually just keep my shoes on if I'm only going to be home for a short time, or I'm taking stuff in and out. I don't worry too much about it, but in general, if I'm going to be home for any length of time, I'll take them off.
As for guests, I never really have guests, as I don't really have any friends or family in the area. But if I did, I don't care if they take their shoes off or not. I'm not that much of a neat freak.
If I go to someone else's place, I'll usually ask. If they take their shoes off at the door so will I. Again, no big deal one way or the other. I don't get mortally offended at the idea of taking my shoes my shoes off in someone else's house.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 4, 2013 17:28:26 GMT -5
I don't mind taking my shoes off but I hope your floor is clean enough that my socks are not dirty after I leave Since no one else gets to wear their dirty shoes on the floor either, your socks don't get dirty Don't you find it annoying when people ask to take off shoes but didn't clean their floors?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 17:47:27 GMT -5
Since no one else gets to wear their dirty shoes on the floor either, your socks don't get dirty Don't you find it annoying when people ask to take off shoes but didn't clean their floors? No one asks you to take off your shoes, you just do. But yes, it is annoying and if it happens more than once I don't take off my shoes at their house anymore. It's as good as telling them their house is dirty. Unless they are a close friend. Then I tell them directly. No one wants to be embarrassed that way and most likely they don't realise the floor is grimy.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 17:53:22 GMT -5
LOL You know until these conversations I never realised what a structure we have around this whole taking your shoes off thing. It's stuff I take for granted. If someone tells me "you don't take your shoes off at their house" they have just said the place is a disgusting mess. Then there are houses that are so clean you always wear slippers so you don't leave footprints. I never even thought about the idea that not everyone does this.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 4, 2013 18:10:38 GMT -5
Yes, regional thing again. Around here it's more the hicks that take their shoes off. Around the YC, it would be one of those whispered insults that "so and so walks around barefoot" in the house (implying she's low class...) It would be even more of an insult to take your shoes off in someone's house - it's making yourself too at home and possibly spreading nasty foot germs around and making other people look at your feet.
Even on the boats, it's a class issue who sails/boats barefoot vs. wearing shoes. The knarled heathens go barefoot and we all get to see their yellow toenails and toe hair. The "civilized" group wears tech shoes.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 20:18:32 GMT -5
I'm astonished at how many people take taking off their shoes as a personal affront. We don't make guests do so, but we entertain a lot. When we do, and it's nasty out (as it is here, often), we set out some mats for guests to rub their shoes on.
But, we also have a shoe rack near the door, because WE all remove our shoes as soon as we come in. So most guests ask, would you like us to take our shoes off? We ALWAYS tell them, no need, it's up to you, do whatever you prefer. Kids? Yes, we always made little kids take their shoes off, because they all made a bee-line for the bedrooms upstairs, and the bedrooms are indeed no-shoe zones.
I would never TELL anybody they need to take their shoes off. We have tile downstairs, so we don't really care. But given the shoe rack at the front door, most people figure out that WE don't wear shoes inside, and offer to take theirs off. I haven't even had ONE.SINGLE.WORKER here, electrician, plumber, roofer, gardener (we always invite them in for tea / beer / coffee) whatever, that didn't offer to take their shoes off. I always say no need to them, they work hard enough.
But if you are a guest in my house, and you SENSE that our preference is for no shoes (because you see the shoe rack), and you get offended by that, and decide you'd rather not come back, then all I can say is, GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU! You're probably not somebody I'd want to be friends with anyway.
Sometimes close friends want to go upstairs, and see something we've done in one of the bedrooms or bathrooms. In those cases, yes, they need to take their shoes off. But they know that, they have somehow managed to figure it out, all on their own. I've literally NEVER had to TELL anybody close enough to want to see the upstairs bedrooms / bathrooms to take their shoes off, they all just do it, automatically.
I guess we have really great friends LOL.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 20:41:06 GMT -5
I'm astonished at how many people take taking off their shoes as a personal affront. We don't make guests do so, but we entertain a lot. When we do, and it's nasty out (as it is here, often), we set out some mats for guests to rub their shoes on. But, we also have a shoe rack near the door, because WE all remove our shoes as soon as we come in. So most guests ask, would you like us to take our shoes off? We ALWAYS tell them, no need, it's up to you, do whatever you prefer. Kids? Yes, we always made little kids take their shoes off, because they all made a bee-line for the bedrooms upstairs, and the bedrooms are indeed no-shoe zones. I would never TELL anybody they need to take their shoes off. We have tile downstairs, so we don't really care. But given the shoe rack at the front door, most people figure out that WE don't wear shoes inside, and offer to take theirs off. I haven't even had ONE.SINGLE.WORKER here, electrician, plumber, roofer, gardener (we always invite them in for tea / beer / coffee) whatever, that didn't offer to take their shoes off. I always say no need to them, they work hard enough. But if you are a guest in my house, and you SENSE that our preference is for no shoes (because you see the shoe rack), and you get offended by that, and decide you'd rather not come back, then all I can say is, GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU! You're probably not somebody I'd want to be friends with anyway. Sometimes close friends want to go upstairs, and see something we've done in one of the bedrooms or bathrooms. In those cases, yes, they need to take their shoes off. But they know that, they have somehow managed to figure it out, all on their own. I've literally NEVER had to TELL anybody close enough to want to see the upstairs bedrooms / bathrooms to take their shoes off, they all just do it, automatically. I guess we have really great friends LOL. well I find a rack full of shoes by a front door to be very unappealing. keep it in a closet or mudroom. and I don't get what it so special about carpet that someone walking on it with shoes (and I'm not talking about shoes covered in mud or wet) is such a big deal?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 4, 2013 20:48:40 GMT -5
Houses here don't have a mudroom. My parent's house doesn't even have a coat closet, which I didn't realize until just now. I grew up there and they have lived there 35 years. And they never needed a coat closet - LOL.
I remember my sister's houses in New York and Montreal. They all had a cute little entry area where you could take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. I can't think of a single house in Phoenix that has anything like that. Often you come in off the garage into the laundry room - so I guess that room could do double duty if you are a "shoes off" family.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 20:49:30 GMT -5
well I find a rack full of shoes by a front door to be very unappealing. keep it in a closet or mudroom.
The coat closet is on the other side of the room, and we don't have a mudroom. I'm in Europe and houses are much smaller here, not that that makes any difference. I don't relish guests tracking stuff into my house, but I live with it, especially with those who are kind / sensitive enough to ask. But I have trouble with people with an exacerbated sense of entitlement.
So please forgive me for doing what works for ME, and ALL SIX OF US, in OUR OWN HOUSE, rather than for YOU.
ETA: You (and Zib) seem to be a minority on this thread. But no problem, I'll try to remember never to invite you over LOL.
ETA2: And I don't have carpet downstairs (except in one bedroom), I have tile.
I also live a fairly normal life. I go out to meals sometimes, if I go out to lunch or dinner, I often use the bathrooms. I take the train to work and back. The places I walk on are generally not exactly sparkling clean. I use the bathrooms at my school, I walk in the streets, people walk their dogs on those streets.
If you want to track all that into your living space, be my guest. Personally, we don't.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 4, 2013 20:57:08 GMT -5
Most people take their shoes off at the door, but I don't require it. But my FIL always tracks in mud, snow, amd dirt. I wish he would talks his shoes off.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 21:00:17 GMT -5
Maybe if he talks to them long enough they will come off? Sorry I couldn't resist LOL!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 21:01:27 GMT -5
well I find a rack full of shoes by a front door to be very unappealing. keep it in a closet or mudroom.The coat closet is on the other side of the room, and we don't have a mudroom. I'm in Europe and houses are much smaller here, not that that makes any difference. I don't relish guests tracking stuff into my house, but I live with it, especially with those who are kind / sensitive enough to ask. But I have trouble with people with an exacerbated sense of entitlement. So please forgive me for doing what works for ME, and ALL SIX OF US, in OUR OWN HOUSE, rather than for YOU. ETA: You (and Zib) seem to be a minority on this thread. But no problem, I'll try to remember never to invite you over LOL. ETA2: And I don't have carpet downstairs (except in one bedroom), I have tile. I also live a fairly normal life. I go out to meals sometimes, if I go out to lunch or dinner, I often use the bathrooms. I take the train to work and back. The places I walk on are generally not exactly sparkling clean. I use the bathrooms at my school, I walk in the streets, people walk their dogs on those streets. If you want to track all that into your living space, be my guest. Personally, we don't. well since I don't eat or sleep on the floor, I'm not too concerned with what's on there. and since my kids are never sick, I'll believe that exposing them to all of that while they were young built up their immune system
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 4, 2013 21:06:49 GMT -5
Most people take their shoes off at the door, but I don't require it. But my FIL always tracks in mud, snow, amd dirt. I wish he would talks his shoes off. OK, so I have a dumb question. We don't get snow, but we have mud and dirt. They tend to come off shoes when people use this thing we have called a mat. Is the mat a regional thing, too? If you guys have mats up there, why are these people not using them? Give me the scoop. Inquiring minds want to know.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2013 21:07:48 GMT -5
Houses here don't have a mudroom. My parent's house doesn't even have a coat closet, which I didn't realize until just now. I grew up there and they have lived there 35 years. And they never needed a coat closet - LOL. I remember my sister's houses in New York and Montreal. They all had a cute little entry area where you could take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. I can't think of a single house in Phoenix that has anything like that. Often you come in off the garage into the laundry room - so I guess that room could do double duty if you are a "shoes off" family. See, that's the thing. We ALL have those cute little (or not so little) entry areas for taking off our shoes and hanging up our jackets. I also have a very nice bench to sit on to put your boots or shoes back on. Other than geography maybe the difference is who does your housework. As the person that washes my own floors any crap drug in is more work for me. If I had a live in maid maybe I would care less.
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