Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 7:32:06 GMT -5
LOL! I read the story and IDK if it changed his DD's mind but it is still a good parenting story.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 7:32:29 GMT -5
What do I think? I think I hope he is wearing some tighty whities to prevent his dangly bits from falling out.
As far as his method of trying to teach his girls a lesson by use of embarrassment? I am not a fan of the method.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Sept 13, 2013 7:37:55 GMT -5
What's with the public shaming trend? Not a fan.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 7:39:12 GMT -5
Why does he own a pair of shorts like that?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 7:40:35 GMT -5
Why does he own a pair of shorts like that? He apparently made them specifically to embarrass her before going out. Apparently he found an old pair of jeans and cut them.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Sept 13, 2013 7:42:36 GMT -5
Wow! I haven't seen a guy in shorts THAT short since the 70's or early 80's! (Google what the old NBA uniforms used to look like.) Hope his daughter got the message.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 13, 2013 7:59:13 GMT -5
No she still wore the shorts. But wouldn't get out of the car at the golf place.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 7:59:41 GMT -5
What's with the public shaming trend? Not a fan. I see this as old fashion parents embarrassing their kids. He's the one that looks like a fool, not her.
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Otto the Orange
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Post by Otto the Orange on Sept 13, 2013 8:00:08 GMT -5
wonder if he went commando too
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 13, 2013 8:00:15 GMT -5
But I didn't get how she told the mom 'no'. uuummmm, going out to eat and playing putt putt would have been the last thing on my mind if my kids had told me 'no' when I told them to do something.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 13, 2013 8:06:50 GMT -5
No kidding. If you don't buy your kids that crap, they're not wearing it. Unless they are independently wealthy and can buy their own stuff. I guess they can sneak off and do it but so what? Most of us did just that at one time or another. I can't imagine my minor child telling me she is going to wear something I don't approve of. Another reason why kids act the way they do. Non parenting parents who want to be buds not parents.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Sept 13, 2013 8:17:56 GMT -5
My husband's co-worker is once again going through the homecoming dress argument with her daughter. The mother and daughter are going shopping for a dress to wear to the high school homecoming dance. Last year the first trip ended in tears and they had to make a second trip shopping to find something appropriate.
Most of what is on the rack for high school girls is strapless, short and very tight. As a 80 year old friend of mine recently said, "those dresses on the young girls start too late and end too soon!"
Modesty is an antiquated notion. Parents who require that their daughters do not dress like street walkers have an uphill battle.
I guess I was lucky growing up in the late 70's and early 80's. My skirts were fairly long and the boy's gym shorts were peek-a-boo short. I haven't been interested in basketball since the uniform changed.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 13, 2013 8:42:31 GMT -5
I think what he did was awesome!
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 13, 2013 9:14:05 GMT -5
I'm not into the shaming thing. I want my kids to know that I am in their corner, and hopefully come to me when they have issues.
I admittedly hate most girls clothing and I'm sure I'll be biting my tongue a lot. And offering to pay exorbitant amounts of money to let dd pick out designs to have my seamstress friend make her.
I learned a ton and respected my parents because they talked to me like a person and I plan to do the same.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Sept 13, 2013 10:30:07 GMT -5
'I think what he did was awesome!' DD didn't have any clothes at home that were not parent approved. After we moved to AZ from CA her best bud came for a visit and her shorts were VERY short and the side seams slit to the waist band. DD copied her friend and got her shorts thrown away. End of discussion. We were parents, not friends, while she was growing up. And boy did she mutter under her breath. She is still fairly conservative on actions, clothing, make-up. She and her DH raised their daughters the same way and both g-dtrs are fairly conservative. Love them all ...... and very proud of them.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 13, 2013 11:09:10 GMT -5
But I didn't get how she told the mom 'no'. uuummmm, going out to eat and playing putt putt would have been the last thing on my mind if my kids had told me 'no' when I told them to do something. You don't want to dress appropriately? Then stay home.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2013 11:47:52 GMT -5
my two eldest DD's were teenagers at the same time and of course, they pressed the issues as much as possible dating, clothes, language, etc i think what dad did was great..... trying to "show" his DD that anyone can be an idiot when it comes to clothes whether or not she GOT the message.... better that than doing nothing.....
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 13, 2013 12:09:52 GMT -5
No kidding. If you don't buy your kids that crap, they're not wearing it. How many kids do you own, zib?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 13, 2013 12:16:07 GMT -5
So our 2 choices are to make an a$$ of ourselves and kids or do nothing? With every child? There aren't other acceptable parenting techniques?
Guess I'm lucky I haven't gotten to those ages yet. So far my biggest parenting wins have all happened by talking to ds. We will see what happens when we get to the teen years.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 13, 2013 12:37:05 GMT -5
One of the many reasons I like sending our kids to private school is because of the very simple dress code, and the fact that they enforce when policies in the handbook are broken.
Girls (8th grade and under) aren't allowed to look like they are going out clubbing. The school handbook takes the heat off of me. (Sorry, can't get that. You could end up in detention with too many clothing infractions.")
My DD is 6, and I had a heck of a time finding skirts that made it to her knee for school this year. If I can get my stuff together, I'm going to try to knit her some skirts for next school year.
I also appreciate that my son is also getting the message that it's OK for girls to be dressed somewhat modestly.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Sept 13, 2013 12:53:07 GMT -5
We had the typical clothing arguments with DSD, too. She had a large chest and loved to show the cleavage. Not to mention the minute short-shorts. Unfortunately, it was a losing battle for us because her mom not only allowed her to dress that way but encouraged it. She bought her the clothes and fawned all over her.
Good news is now DSD has a brand new daughter of her own. She's already stated how her daughter is NOT going to dress like she did! Ha - we'll see... I mean, I hope not, but now she'll get to experience it from our perspective.
As far as the Dad in the OP, I'm not into embarassing your kids purposely, either. In fact, by getting national media attention he kind of defeats the purpose...
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 13, 2013 12:54:41 GMT -5
So our 2 choices are to make an a$$ of ourselves and kids or do nothing? With every child? There aren't other acceptable parenting techniques? Guess I'm lucky I haven't gotten to those ages yet. So far my biggest parenting wins have all happened by talking to ds. We will see what happens when we get to the teen years. I'd say wait until your DS is 9. Then, yes, you may have to re-evaluate. Our DS is sensitive. So far, we've handled everything by "talking." With some things, I'm tired of "talking." My DS is mentally with it enough to not need 4,567 reminders a day to not open mouth belch or fart (or talk about the two topics) at the table when we are eating. Even 1-2-3 Magic has lost the magical touch. We've had to move on to natural consequences. So, now he gets one warning. Then he's excused from the table. I don't give crap where in the stage he is in the meal-whether he's just started eating or if he's just missing dessert. DH and I are tired of the rudeness. It took DS missing dessert once in order to get his act together. Same thing with aiming in the bathroom. Usually when the "talking" no longer works, then I have him clean his own toilet. For a while that didn't even work. So, then he got to choose between cleaning the toilet twice a day with no exceptions or losing privacy in the bathroom. Within a few days, suddenly his aim was fine again. Or leaving things out for the baby to get into. Again, we've talked daily ad naseum about keeping his delicate stuff out of reach of the baby. When the baby is playing his 3DS because he left it out, we say "Oh Son, the baby has your 3DS." Sometimes DS will say "Oh, can't you get it from her." and we shrug our shoulders and say, no. It's not our 3DS. Unless, you want to give it to us?" I'm guessing that the dad picked embarrassment because natural consequences wouldn't have had much of an effect on the kid's behavior. I mean, what high school kid says "Playing putt-putt with my parents is the highlight of my week! Please, please don't take that away from me Daddy!" or "No Mom and Dad! Don't make me stay at home by myself while you all have fun playing mini-golf. That's the worst punishment ever!"
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Sept 13, 2013 12:59:51 GMT -5
'I think what he did was awesome!' DD didn't have any clothes at home that were not parent approved. After we moved to AZ from CA her best bud came for a visit and her shorts were VERY short and the side seams slit to the waist band. DD copied her friend and got her shorts thrown away. End of discussion. We were parents, not friends, while she was growing up. And boy did she mutter under her breath. She is still fairly conservative on actions, clothing, make-up. She and her DH raised their daughters the same way and both g-dtrs are fairly conservative. Love them all ...... and very proud of them. I fought this battle for years. DD turns 18 years old next week so I may stop. It was really easy for me to say things like no makeup until HS but not buying shorts that aren't mid thigh, ended up meaning do not buy any shorts at all. The chooices aren't between mid thigh and halfway up the ass. The choices are nike athletic shorts that are really more like capri's, the super short ones, or longer ones that have totally inappropiate sayings on them. I ended up buying the longest short shorts I could find, and not letting her wear them to school, because I just couldn't bring myself to buy the longer pair with the words "sweet meat" or "juicy" written on her 13 year old rear.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 13, 2013 13:00:25 GMT -5
Well, I "owned" them as long as I supported them. That doesn't mean they didn't pull stuff when not around me but they sure didn't around me.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Sept 13, 2013 13:06:24 GMT -5
Well, I "owned" them as long as I supported them. That doesn't mean they didn't pull stuff when not around me but they sure didn't around me. But Zib your kids are closer to 30 aren't they? Trust me, or take a walk through the juniors dept and look at the shorts and tops. There just aren't what I would call normal shorts or tops anymore, except for plain t shirts and sweat pant type stuff. Everything out there seems to be hoochy mama type stuff, except for the sweat pant dept.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Sept 13, 2013 13:09:49 GMT -5
This is why I'm glad I have a boy. I have friend's with daughters and they complain all the time about how difficult it is to even find clothing that isn't skimpy these days.
I have to agree with others- I am not a big fan of this shaming trend. I think it's cruel. However, I also don't see why this teenager was allowed to go out with them after refusing a simple request. DS likes to put on sweat pants or pajama bottoms as soon as he gets home from school. He knows it drives me up a wall. After dinner the other night DH suggested we go to Lowe's for something he needed and swing by and get frozen yogurt. DS asked if he could come with and we said "absolutely. But you have to put regular pants or shorts on first". He did it without complaint. There are other times where he won't want to change so he doesn't come with us. Simple as that.
FWIW- my 15 year old son refers to those shorts as "Uterus Shorts" or "Vagina Shorts" because they are so short you can see either body part half the time.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 13, 2013 13:10:00 GMT -5
The one who would have worn the hoochie stuff and she tried from time to time is 24.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Sept 13, 2013 13:10:41 GMT -5
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Sept 13, 2013 13:18:15 GMT -5
www.aeropostale.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=11326860&cp=3534618.3534619.3534623.3541050.3536151raphicI doubt anyone would look at the graphic T's on this page and say they are hoochy mama outfits. But I promise you on a normal girl who isn't a 100 lb A cup, the vast majority of those t's would show some serious cleavage. My daughter loves aeropostale and would love most of those T's. But I know on her size 11 body with a D cup she would have babies who are still nursing showing serious intrest, let alone teenage boys.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Sept 13, 2013 13:29:50 GMT -5
I think he looks great in those shorts. In fact, I texted him and asked him out on a date because he's such a stud. Sigh. I don't think embarassing your DD is the way to go, but at least he tried, as gdgyva stated.
I threw out several items of hoochie mama clothing that my DD acquired in her teens. Never mind that she would modify her jeans into shorts worse than the ones that the father is wearing. Grounding and yelling and removal of privileges didn't do too much good. I never bought her that junk. She just "got" it from friends.
Now that she's 33 and a conservative school marm, she thinks clothing like that is "awful !"
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