Dad wears short-shorts to teach his daughter a lesson

[alabamagal]

My DH wears short shorts like that (maybe an inch longer) all the time.  He is stuck in the 80's.  He is not doing that to punish anyone!

[Otto the Orange]

It would have been a better punishment if the mom wore the short shorts

[raeoflyte]

Sept 13, 2013 12:54:41 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 13, 2013 12:16:07 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

So our 2 choices are to make an a$$ of ourselves and kids or do nothing? With every child? There aren't other acceptable parenting techniques?

Guess I'm lucky I haven't gotten to those ages yet. So far my biggest parenting wins have all happened by talking to ds. We will see what happens when we get to the teen years.

I'd say wait until your DS is 9. Then, yes, you may have to re-evaluate.

Our DS is sensitive. So far, we've handled everything by "talking."

With some things, I'm tired of "talking." My DS is mentally with it enough to not need 4,567 reminders a day to not open mouth belch or fart (or talk about the two topics) at the table when we are eating.

Even 1-2-3 Magic has lost the magical touch.

We've had to move on to natural consequences.

So, now he gets one warning. Then he's excused from the table. I don't give crap where in the stage he is in the meal-whether he's just started eating or if he's just missing dessert. DH and I are tired of the rudeness. It took DS missing dessert once in order to get his act together.

Same thing with aiming in the bathroom. Usually when the "talking" no longer works, then I have him clean his own toilet. For a while that didn't even work. So, then he got to choose between cleaning the toilet twice a day with no exceptions or losing privacy in the bathroom. Within a few days, suddenly his aim was fine again.

Or leaving things out for the baby to get into. Again, we've talked daily ad naseum about keeping his delicate stuff out of reach of the baby. When the baby is playing his 3DS because he left it out, we say "Oh Son, the baby has your 3DS."  Sometimes DS will say "Oh, can't you get it from her." and we shrug our shoulders and say, no. It's not our 3DS. Unless, you want to give it to us?"

I'm guessing that the dad picked embarrassment because natural consequences wouldn't have had much of an effect on the kid's behavior.

I mean, what high school kid says "Playing putt-putt with my parents is the highlight of my week! Please, please don't take that away from me Daddy!" or "No Mom and Dad! Don't make me stay at home by myself while you all have fun playing mini-golf. That's the worst punishment ever!"

Yes but did his stunt work either? Is she suddenly saying wow, people are going to think I'm a ho if I wear these? Or is she just pissed at her dad?

Don't buy them, say they can't wear them to school, don't go out with them until they put on the mom approved outfit-makes sense to me. But treating your teenager like an idiot only guarantees that she will try to get away with more things behind your back. She's going to realize she was an idiot eventually anyway.

And I've already noticed what beachbum is talking about in regards to girls clothes. It's really tough to find things that aren't super short and tight.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yep and if you've got a kid with size issues (my DD is 5 years old, she's about 47 inches tall and 50 lbs) or Swamp's DD, it's even harder.  If I buy DD skirts/skorts that hit the knee, they're falling down.  If I buy them that fit the waist, they're mini skirts. 

And now that it's fall, it's hard to find skorts period.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"Good news is now DSD has a brand new daughter of her own. She's already stated how her daughter is NOT going to dress like she did! Ha - we'll see... I mean, I hope not, but now she'll get to experience it from our perspective.":::...

Sometimes I think this is the only cure.  Who was it on here who used to tell his son "I've been 19, but you haven't been 39".  Sure, some things change; but many are just new variations on classic themes.

...:::"With some things, I'm tired of "talking." . . . We've had to move on to natural consequences.":::...

I try to do this with DW too.  And at work, when possible.  I am tired of talking.  People just tune me out.  You are spot on about how people who actually have to DEAL with the consequences of their behavior, suddenly decide to modify the behavior.

[8 Bit WWBG]

Also, the problem is that the daughter probably looks smoking hot in those shorts, because they were designed to flatter that body type.  The Dad just looks like a doofus.  The daughter won't "learn the lesson" he wants her to learn, because in her mind, its not an apples to apples comparison.  She'll just dismiss it as "of course it looks dumb on him", but it doesn't look dumb on me.

I mean really, what is his expectation?  Is she supposed to start dressing like a nun?

Now, if the Dad had worn something that was appropriate to his body type, but still embarrassing -- perhaps a lumberjack outfit, or a t-shirt to a band that only people his generation would appreciate, or something, then we'd have a case!

[swamp]

Sept 13, 2013 14:21:39 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Yep and if you've got a kid with size issues (my DD is 5 years old, she's about 47 inches tall and 50 lbs) or Swamp's DD, it's even harder.  If I buy DD skirts/skorts that hit the knee, they're falling down.  If I buy them that fit the waist, they're mini skirts. 

And now that it's fall, it's hard to find skorts period.

[img]http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif[/img]

DD is 49" tall and about 80 pounds, so she wears a 14.   It is impossible to find non hoochy mamma clothes. 

[giramomma]

Sept 13, 2013 14:21:39 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Yep and if you've got a kid with size issues (my DD is 5 years old, she's about 47 inches tall and 50 lbs) or Swamp's DD, it's even harder.  If I buy DD skirts/skorts that hit the knee, they're falling down.  If I buy them that fit the waist, they're mini skirts. 

And now that it's fall, it's hard to find skorts period.

I went to Kohls and was able to pick up some skorts for DD during labor day weekend.

Kohl's also carries little shorts to go under dresses. It was by the training bra stuff.. I find I have better luck with dresses than skirts.

For us, I can't find pants that fit decently. I used to be able to get the target knit ones, but since now the style is yoga pants, I've had a hard time finding something that works. I don't want to do leggings. I lived through that experience once. Don't need it again. We can't find a pair of decent fitting jeans to save our lives. Last year, I took DD to every single store.

[constanz22]

They had the story/family on GMA this morning.  I think what stood out to me the most, and I was only half watching cuz I was getting ready for work, is I think the girls name is Milee, and she looked a lot like Milee Cyrus.  That was what made me say "poor kid". Lol!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Thanks Gira, I'll have to check that out.  DD loves her skirts, skorts and dresses so that might help.  At least until the temp. drops. 

[Shooby]

Well, he is right.  But they are not both sending the same message.  An attractive young girl wearing short shorts says "I am an attractive young girl".  The Dad wearing short shorts says "I am too dumb to know how to dress my age.  And, my flabby white thighs need some air".
  So, while i admire any parent mortally embarrassing their child, he really isn't conveying the same message. 

[muttleynfelix]

Sept 13, 2013 14:31:31 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

They had the story/family on GMA this morning.  I think what stood out to me the most, and I was only half watching cuz I was getting ready for work, is I think the girls name is Milee, and she looked a lot like Milee Cyrus.  That was what made me say "poor kid". Lol!

There is a girl at my church named Maile, pronounced the same as Miley. It is a flower in Hawaii where her mother was raised. Her mother is one of the least caring of pop culture of anyone I know. Not that I am defending the family being on GMA, to me that is dumb. Lets get our 15 minutes.

[zibazinski]

The better thing would have been to ONE, not buy them to begin with, and TWO, just say NO.

[constanz22]

Sept 13, 2013 15:45:50 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Sept 13, 2013 14:31:31 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

They had the story/family on GMA this morning.  I think what stood out to me the most, and I was only half watching cuz I was getting ready for work, is I think the girls name is Milee, and she looked a lot like Milee Cyrus.  That was what made me say "poor kid". Lol!

I guess the parents should feel lucky that she's got any clothes on at all .

How old is the girl? 12/13 - 14/15 - 16/17?

I didn't catch her age, but definitely older, 16/17, I'd say.  And for anyone who hasn't seen the story, it has been on every dang thing I've watched today

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"The better thing would have been to ONE, not buy them to begin with, and TWO, just say NO.":::...

Whats to stop the girl from buying one or two of her own pieces and sneaking them in/out.  I always wondered if a lot of people changed at school, and then changed before going home.

I remember my sister trying to sneak lipstick to a school dance.  My Mom knew what was happening and questioned her.  My sister got all defensive; disproportionately so.  I can't believe as kids we were naive enough to think they didn't know!

[HoneyBBQ]

Sept 13, 2013 8:06:50 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

No kidding. If you don't buy your kids that crap, they're not wearing it. Unless they are independently wealthy and can buy their own stuff. I guess they can sneak off and do it but so what? Most of us did just that at one time or another. I can't imagine my minor child telling me she is going to wear something I don't approve of. Another reason why kids act the way they do. Non parenting parents who want to be buds not parents.

It's pretty easy to shorten a pair of shorts if you're a rebellious teenager. 

I seriously see CHEEK hanging out of a lot of kids' shorts. I can't tell what's worse - low rise seeing the crack from the top, or high rise, seeing the crack from the bottom!! 

[Peace Of Mind]

I doubt what he did worked but it sure worked giving me a great laugh.  I thought he was hilarious!  And I agree that he probably only embarrassed himself for looking like he can't dress himself properly and not his daughter.  She may have just been embarrassed he's her dad but it probably won't change her dress code.   I would be the one embarrassed if I was the wife though.   It may just change how much they hang out with him in the future if he takes another stand like that.  And his legs weren't half bad.  The tanned half.  

[zibazinski]

   For sure. I wasn't allowed to wear short skirts. Guess what? I rolled the waist band and wore them anyway when I could BUT my parents were my parents and I obeyed their rules in front of them! The idea that kids think its okay to argue and disobey just floors me.

[Peace Of Mind]

Sept 13, 2013 18:21:21 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Sept 13, 2013 8:36:06 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

I had this problem in high school. I was very skinny with a large chest and regular fitting t-shirts looked provocative. My parents never said anything and it didn't really occur to me that I was "provocative",  until I was sent home from work to change.   It was humiliating.  I was working at a place where the owner was very religious and conservative and he only hired other religious, conservative people. I don't know how I squeeked through. Anyway, I had to go out and buy a bunch of baggy fitting clothes that were a few sizes too big, to wear to work. I'm still feeling embarrassed typing this out and reliving that day.

My mother let me dress however I pleased, wear as much makeup as I wanted and bleach my hair. She was one of these parents who believed that her children should make their own decisions. Wrong!!!! I look back and think OMG!!! I must have looked awful and who do I deeply resent? My mother, for not caring enough to instruct me properly. 

LOL!  Post those pictures  here!  We love a good laugh.        My mom kept trying to get me to wear make up when I was a kid.  She was such a girly girl and couldn't wait to wear it and assumed I would be the same way.  I was such a Tom boy I wanted nothing to do with make up, dolls or dresses.  Yuck!  I finally started wearing lip gloss in my teens.  Now I'm totally a girly girl with hair and make up.  And now I have to be so I don't scare the little children. 

[raeoflyte]

Sept 13, 2013 18:21:21 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Sept 13, 2013 8:36:06 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

I had this problem in high school. I was very skinny with a large chest and regular fitting t-shirts looked provocative. My parents never said anything and it didn't really occur to me that I was "provocative",  until I was sent home from work to change.   It was humiliating.  I was working at a place where the owner was very religious and conservative and he only hired other religious, conservative people. I don't know how I squeeked through. Anyway, I had to go out and buy a bunch of baggy fitting clothes that were a few sizes too big, to wear to work. I'm still feeling embarrassed typing this out and reliving that day.

My mother let me dress however I pleased, wear as much makeup as I wanted and bleach my hair. She was one of these parents who believed that her children should make their own decisions. Wrong!!!! I look back and think OMG!!! I must have looked awful and who do I deeply resent? My mother, for not caring enough to instruct me properly. 

This is how they realized Dh was color blind. Mil saw him leave in 3 shades of green, but the clothes passed all of her rules, so she didn't say anything. He came home and was pissed. He didn't realize it didn't match.

[sesfw]

'It's pretty easy to shorten a pair of shorts if you're a rebellious teenager.'

It's also very easy for mom to take the hem out of short shorts, put some seam binding on the edges and make a small hem.  The shorts are longer.  Or get some fabric from a yardage store and make them Bermuda length, just above the knee.

Unfortunately not that many parents have a sewing machine.

[Deleted]

I let my daughter pretty much pick out her own clothes but there are some guidelines she has to follow.  I do allow her to wear the short shorts as long as I do not see any of her butt cheeks hanging out the back.  She has boobs so shirts that would be normal for a girl her age looks provocative on her.  I do buy her tank tops to wear underneath to help cover some of her cleavage.  Sometimes this works and sometimes it does not.  I am not going to make her wear a turtleneck in the summer to cover her boobs. 

[zibazinski]

Does what your kids wear and how they act reflect on you and your DH to the extent that HOME6 says her BIL would reflect on her DH? Not being snarky but curious. She says the BILs behavior could effect her DHs career.
what your kids do when they are away from you I think is normal rebellion. That's one thing but to do it in front of you is disrespectful and is why kids act like little shits that feel the world revolves around him. Daddykins made a point but not the one he should have made. 

[happyscooter]

I think when the guy was willing to embarrass himself and not just the daughter, that's when you had to say 'good for him'.  No humiliation for her on his part.  You know, like making her wear a sign or something.

[milee]

Sept 13, 2013 16:25:06 GMT -5 muttleynfelix said:

Sept 13, 2013 14:31:31 GMT -5 constanz22 said:

They had the story/family on GMA this morning.  I think what stood out to me the most, and I was only half watching cuz I was getting ready for work, is I think the girls name is Milee, and she looked a lot like Milee Cyrus.  That was what made me say "poor kid". Lol!

There is a girl at my church named Maile, pronounced the same as Miley. It is a flower in Hawaii where her mother was raised. Her mother is one of the least caring of pop culture of anyone I know.

Yep.  My screen name was generated many years before anyone had ever heard of the Miley that none of us want to resemble.    Mine wasn't a flower, but a funny misinterpretation of my name, initials and title by a foreign IT guy at one of my jobs.  This poor guy had problems with English and always came out with the most interesting phrases that were combinations.  When he started calling me milee, my friends all thought it was hilarious and we used it as a funny nickname.  Sadly, I'm pretty sure Miley Cyrus was a toddler at the time.

[Shooby]

  I really don't care that much about what my kids wear.  And, yeah, in the summer dd wears short shorts and she looks darn adorable in them.  People see her at the pool in a swimsuit so i am not sure what the big deal is about them really?

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2013 6:42:59 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Does what your kids wear and how they act reflect on you and your DH to the extent that HOME6 says her BIL would reflect on her DH? Not being snarky but curious. She says the BILs behavior could effect her DHs career.
what your kids do when they are away from you I think is normal rebellion. That's one thing but to do it in front of you is disrespectful and is why kids act like little shits that feel the world revolves around him. Daddykins made a point but not the one he should have made. 

What they wear and how they behave are two separate things.  I am sure people judge us based on what all our kids wear.  I have been judged in the past for letting my boys walk around with long hair and not short boy cuts/military styles.  I have been judged for letting my daughters get their nose pierced (tiny diamond stud).  My response is they can kiss my culo grande.  Can what they wear cause my husband to get in trouble?  Well, I guess it could if they were breaking the dress code at school continuously, but they are always within the dress code at school.  My daughter may wear the short shorts, but none of her parts are hanging out and she never ever wears them to school.  She has boobs...not much I can do about that than I am already doing.  

As far as their behavior, yes that can get my husband into trouble if they are getting into trouble.  My kids are not getting into trouble.  How they dress does not mean that they are trouble makers.  My kids are not disrespectful to their teachers or other adults. We always get compliments about how well behaved our kids are in public.

All teenagers are at one point or another going to be disrespectful to their parents.  They all try to push the boundaries to see what they can get away with.  That doesn't make them little shits with entitlement attitudes.  It makes them normal teens.  When they do that it is the parents' job to discuss boundaries and what lines are not to be crossed.

[Shooby]

  To me, there are other battles to fight besides fashion.  Yes, if they are planning to go about naked, then you have to stop that.  But otherwise i Don't CARE what my kids wear.  I am not going to fight about it or turn into some control freak.  I just don't care.  They can wear what they like 99% of the time.  If we are going to a funeral or wedding or some event where i want them to dress a certain way then they do.  But, even for my son's Senior Pic, he picked out what HE wanted to wear.

[Shooby]

My sons wear shorts to school in the middle of winter.  I have seen some parents pitch a fit over that.  I mean who cares?  If they are cold, they will stop doing it.  It doesn't bother them.  Teen boys make their own heat.  So what?
  I am really not a very controlling person in terms of my kids.  Most stuff just doesn't matter all that much .  And, they are their own person and they like what they like.  I just don't see the big deal in 99% of the things people seem to fuss at their kids about.

[zibazinski]

You do have to pick your battles wisely. You don't want to win the battles but lose the war.