Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,556
|
Post by Works4me on Sept 19, 2013 1:00:47 GMT -5
Congratulations on the surrender of the boat! Strange thing to congratulate someone for but I hope you take it the way I mean it!
It takes a big person to take an action like that and it shows how far the two of you have come in the - what - 2 months since this began.
Also, having been through several fender benders - one of the hazards of living in a town with large college and retirement populations - I agree with turning it over to the insurance, especially given escalation of claims from the mother. Some people are really cray-cray and others nut-up in these situations.
Can't wait to see/hear how this one turns out! Hang in there!
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Sept 19, 2013 4:45:05 GMT -5
Congratulations on the surrender of the boat! Strange thing to congratulate someone for but I hope you take it the way I mean it! It takes a big person to take an action like that and it shows how far the two of you have come in the - what - 2 months since this began. Also, having been through several fender benders - one of the hazards of living in a town with large college and retirement populations - I agree with turning it over to the insurance, especially given escalation of claims from the mother. Some people are really cray-cray and others nut-up in these situations. Can't wait to see/hear how this one turns out! Hang in there! Yeah that. I would cautious too with the ever changing story from the mom.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Sept 22, 2013 21:36:40 GMT -5
Congratulations on the surrender of the boat! Strange thing to congratulate someone for but I hope you take it the way I mean it! It takes a big person to take an action like that and it shows how far the two of you have come in the - what - 2 months since this began. Also, having been through several fender benders - one of the hazards of living in a town with large college and retirement populations - I agree with turning it over to the insurance, especially given escalation of claims from the mother. Some people are really cray-cray and others nut-up in these situations. Can't wait to see/hear how this one turns out! Hang in there! Thank you Sarahjese! I do take the congratulations in the way you're intending - at least I hope so! I've been ready for the boat to be GONE for months. DH, not so much. He's taking it much harder than I am, but that's to be expected. However - I don't think he's struggling as much as others on this thread may have suggested he would. Once DH truly knew what we were up against (which honestly took me hitting mental bottom and bills not getting paid), he realized very quickly that we're not where we need to be and he's trying to correct his own attitudes and actions. In our state, fishing licenses expire on August 31. This is the first year that DH has not had a current fishing license in the 12 years that we've known each other. He stated to me the other day, "there's no reason to get one at this point". Another conversation we had, we were talking about DH getting a part-time job to help with our bills. We discussed me also getting one, but DH quickly said no way - "Your job is already requiring 4 night meetings a month, and it seems like more may come in the future. The kids and I need you here, not at another job." When we turned to him getting a part-time job, I commented, "If you do, we need to figure out a percentage - some goes straight to bills, the rest to a savings account for emergencies. Once we get through this, we can use the money we've saved up to get you a new boat." DH stated, "No. Any extra money we get should go straight to the bills. Nothing should be used for fishing until we are out of this mess." Is he a saint in all of this? Heck no! But, he's trying and he's committed....I can't ask for more. From what I understand from the bank regarding the voluntary surrender: It will show on our credit report as voluntary surrender, which creditor's will classify as a repossession. Once they have sold the boat, any difference in what we owe vs what it was sold for will then be transferred to a new loan that has a different classification. They will then be able to lower the payment to what we are able to pay to a reasonable length term. When that loan is paid off, the voluntary surrender classification on our credit report will then change to loan paid in full (unless I'm understanding them wrong). Not the perfect solution, but not horrible either. The boat has a KBB-similar classification for boats valued at $45,000. We owe $43,000. Best case of course is that they sell it for close to that value. My expectation is them selling it for around $32,000 - maybe a little less. While we are waiting for the final sale cost, we're trying to pay down as much as we can. That's been hard since we're only 2 months into the process of changing our budget. Some things we're still struggling with, but others we're doing much better. Anyway - that's my update on our budget and boat for now.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Sept 22, 2013 22:13:38 GMT -5
Congratulations on the surrender of the boat! Strange thing to congratulate someone for but I hope you take it the way I mean it! It takes a big person to take an action like that and it shows how far the two of you have come in the - what - 2 months since this began. Also, having been through several fender benders - one of the hazards of living in a town with large college and retirement populations - I agree with turning it over to the insurance, especially given escalation of claims from the mother. Some people are really cray-cray and others nut-up in these situations. Can't wait to see/hear how this one turns out! Hang in there! Yeah that. I would cautious too with the ever changing story from the mom. On to the changing story from the mom. Like I stated before, she is still refusing to speak with the insurance adjuster. I honestly think that the biggest issue is a disconnect due to cultural differences. However, that doesn't mean we're going to change our stance at this point because her texts really are going too far at this point. I have talked to the insurance adjuster again. He stated since we called in the claim and admitted SS is at fault, any damages caused by his actions will be covered 100%. Damages to the car - covered. Damages to the glasses - covered. Injury to the daughter - covered. He just needs to see and document the damages for payment to be made. He even commented that if she just wants a check written, he'd write it - he didn't have to make sure the damages were repaired. As someone (sorry I don't remember who) suggested, DH and I talked with SS the first week about staying away from the girl who was in the car at school and let the adults handle the insurance side at this point. SS said that would be easy because he has no idea who the girl is. One thing to remember is - I'm the step-mom and as such, I see things SS does in a different way than his mom and dad see from him. I call him out on his lies, when mom and dad make excuses for him. I point out how he's playing them and SS gets mad and frustrated at me because I won't let him slide like they will. I'm much harder on him and he knows that if anyone is going to figure out he's lying - it's me.
On this case - I believe SS is telling the truth - that he doesn't know the girl or her mom. That he wasn't aiming at the car, just goofing off. His story has remained consistent - where as with other issues, he's always slipped up. His story to the principal and officer has been the same story to us. Could he have finally learned to stay consistent? Sure....but this incident just feels different - especially since he has stayed so consistent. The latest text from the mom this last Wednesday was about how her daughter is now being bullied at school and afraid to attend. She continued to state she talked to the school and police and was going to take her daughter to the doctor the next day (two weeks after the initial incident). She commented that she didn't know anyone was going to file insurance. She also asked, again, what we were going to do to correct this? SS is a lot of things....one of the things he isn't is a bully. He has a sweet, sensitive nature to him when he's dealing with others. Dealing with me is another story. He's a blowhard and a braggart, but he's all bark and no bite. He's not able to back up what he's throwing down. DH and I talked. We decided that enough was enough - we're trying to help. Due to DH's new job, he could not go with me, but I took SS to school the next morning (after receiving the text) and we spoke to the principal regarding the bullying claim. At this point, the principal had not heard the girl was being bullied, but stated he would bring her in to talk with her. He said that if she was, he'd figure out what was going on, but if she wasn't, he'd let the girl know that her mom needed to know she (the mom) might end up getting herself into trouble if she kept making false claims. He recommended to us that if DH and I continue to receive texts from the mom after we've tried to handle this, then he'd suggest we file our own police report for documentation. The principal had SS write out an official school statement that he did not know the girl or her mom and was not bullying anyone. At this point, we have not talked with the police, but we're prepared to talk to them next if necessary. Anyway - that's where we stand for now.
|
|
Sharon
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:48:11 GMT -5
Posts: 11,287
|
Post by Sharon on Sept 22, 2013 22:38:52 GMT -5
Kara is sounds like a plan is slowly falling into place and that is good. It should help relieve some of the stress.
I am glad that that the principal is listening to SS with regards to the bullying. That may really help him to have someone in a position of authority listen to him and believe him. It sounds like Mom has a screw loose.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 23, 2013 0:22:53 GMT -5
One thought.....
I seem to remember you saying that insurance on the boat was paid through the end of the year. Since the boat is gone, do you get any of that insurance money back?
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Sept 23, 2013 1:32:41 GMT -5
Interesting, KaraBoo, that you mention a cultural difference. Something in one of your posts (don't recall which one) had given me to suspect that might be the case. If the family with which you're contending over this incident with SS is from a different culture than ours, it might explain some of the oddities in their behavior. Not communicating with the insurance company, not having filed a police report while claiming to have talked to the police, escalating injury claims, and several other things make me suspect they just don't really understand what they're doing vs what they should be doing for their own benefit. Hopefully, this will straighten itself out. In the meantime, I think I might just block this woman's texts. You've got those she's sent so far to show the escalating claims, and your insurance company is aware of the problem, as is the school. There's really no reason to allow her to continue to harass you, IMO.
Glad to hear the boat is off your back. I'm sorry for your hubs, as I know he enjoyed it; however, he's to be admired for sucking it up and doing the right thing. Sometimes, it takes a hard lesson to really get us on the right track. This may be the only one you and hubs need for the rest of your lives!
Hugs, hon. It's hard, I know, but you're really working at it.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Sept 23, 2013 21:02:20 GMT -5
One thought..... I seem to remember you saying that insurance on the boat was paid through the end of the year. Since the boat is gone, do you get any of that insurance money back? I hadn't even thought about this aspect. I'll look into it - thanks for the suggestion!
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Sept 24, 2013 17:34:26 GMT -5
Woohoo!!!
Small victories, but still made my night!
Just received notice of my next gas bill for the house - you know, the one that was $100+ for the month that had me going through the roof?
Apparently, they misread our meter because my new bill shows a $42.23 credit with nothing due this month. Which also means next month will either be paid in full or we'll just owe very little as well.
Woohoo!!
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 24, 2013 17:48:44 GMT -5
Every little bit helps!
|
|
Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
Posts: 50,108
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IZlZ65.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Text Color: 290066
|
Post by Jaguar on Sept 24, 2013 17:58:37 GMT -5
Yes it absolutely sure does.
|
|
Sharon
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:48:11 GMT -5
Posts: 11,287
|
Post by Sharon on Sept 24, 2013 21:36:02 GMT -5
Enjoy the small victories.
|
|
Icelandic Woman
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 4, 2011 22:37:53 GMT -5
Posts: 4,888
Location: Colorado
Favorite Drink: Strawberry Lemonade
|
Post by Icelandic Woman on Sept 26, 2013 12:42:41 GMT -5
Great news that the boat is gone!!! Oh and yes you definitely need to call the insurance company and cancel the policy and get a refund for the unused premium.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Oct 10, 2013 17:32:14 GMT -5
Really quick update since I've been neglecting my own thread.
The Home Depot cc is paid off (WOOHOO!!).
The issue with the other lady's car hasn't been finalized yet (now she's claiming she needs a lawyer because she refuses to work with our insurance guy anymore as he's also playing games with her).
And the new director has started in my office. This is a good thing. I had a brief talk with her today to give her an overview regarding things in my life (4 kids end up going to a LOT of appointments throughout the year) and what I do for the office. She asked me some questions and honed in really quickly on some issues in our office. I was truthful but reserved and let her know she needed to witness some of what I was talking about for herself and make her own determination.
Marching band season is INSANELY busy and I have appointments and/or events going on almost every day for the next month. I'll try to get on later to post this months budget, but I don't know when that will happen.
Anyway - gotta get kids picked up. TTYL!!!
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Nov 12, 2013 23:20:42 GMT -5
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Nov 13, 2013 22:43:28 GMT -5
Hey! Thanks for resurrecting my thread Taz - I've been thinking about it lately. Hugs for everyone who's hung through this with me!! I have some good updates and some not-so-good updates. I guess I'll start with the not-so-good - just to get it out of the way: Whatever we were doing in previous months went down the drain in October. I'm showing we went deeper into debt by $2k. I'll be honest - I haven't bothered looking at why at the moment - it's too depressing to think about other than we just didn't pay attention to anything. I'm sure we back-slid some, back into old habits. I also know that we only have one CC we still use and that DH and I have been discussing when to use it or not, so I'm positive we discussed every purchase - they just added up more than we expected (like, we've run out of Medical Spending on our accounts, so we're paying for meds and appointments with the CC, our washing machine quit working - we fixed it, and some other things I can't remember off hand). Another not-so-good, but getting better - we've been having issues with my SS. At one point, he was failing 5 of his 7 classes (he had a whopping 17 in his science class, with the others not much better). He's struggling with a lot of different issues that is being dealt with through consistency with us and professional counseling. The two of us had a talk this past weekend and based on body language on his part, I think I hit on something that may go a long way to helping him more than what we've been trying in the past. We'll see what the future brings on this front. Related to SS - the issue with the school bus and damage to lady's vehicle. There is no news on this front. There hasn't been any additional contact from her. We spoke to the insurance and SS gave an official statement, but unless the lady is willing to work with the insurance, the claim isn't going anywhere at this point. I've been waiting on contact from a lawyer or the police, but so far nothing, so I'm not going to worry about it and haven't even thought about it other than in passing. If we are contacted, DH and I know our next step, so we're doing what we've been doing with this issue - waiting. A good update - I was able to cancel the boat insurance and we were able to get a prorated refund of the unused difference. That money went into our savings (looking back, maybe it should have gone on the debt!). Another good update - we've raised our emergency savings from whatever it was (I think $60?) to $485. And, I paid our house payment on-time this month (the last several months it was either late or almost late). On time for me means that I paid it on or before the 1st. Late or almost late means it was paid after the 1st and in the case of one month, after the 15th. DH had his first true pity-party regarding his boat being gone this weekend. I just let him have the party by himself and let him mourn. Other than this past weekend (in which he actually missed a fishing tournament for the first time since returning the boat), he's been really good about it being gone. I think he's holding it in, but that's okay. I do laugh at him all the time though - he's trying desperately to figure out a way to get back out on the water without having to hitch rides with others. A few weeks ago, he went so far as to ask me my opinion about him getting a kayak to fish from. My thoughts ranged through this emotion range: I finally told DH that I had no problem with him getting a kayak as long as he saved up the money himself - since the model he was looking at is almost $2k, I have no worries that this will actually happen (and no - I KNOW the increase in our debt was NOT the addition of a new kayak). Anyway - we're getting along and some days are easier than others. We're working through this, slowly and I think we're going to skip filing for BK. We're learning, slowly but surely.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Nov 13, 2013 23:05:22 GMT -5
Thanks for the update! I'm sorry to hear that you added $2K to the debt, but I understand shit happens. I hope things improve with SS. I sounds like it might happen and I hope he gets his grades in order before he has to repeat the grade. Interesting about the bus incident and the woman. Something was sounding fishy with her anyway. Is there a limitation in where if she doesn't continue with in a certain amount of them, then the incident is dropped and insurance won't pay anyway. FWIW, this isn't to get SS out of trouble and not to face consequences (which I think he needs to do and it sounds like you have done it at home anyway). With the boat, has the loan company sold the boat yet and given you the difference that you'll need to pay? Great news about the insurance refund though. Good luck on the mortgage payment. Love your emotions with DH's kayak request. I would give the same to my DH if he mentioned that too! I'm sorry to read the bad news, but I'm glad there was some good news. I'm also glad to hear that you'll probably skip BK and that you're learning, slowly but surely. How are your other kids handling the money changes, etc.? Has XW remarried yet?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 23:19:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2013 7:02:40 GMT -5
Hi Kara -- I love this thread. Your journey is ... real. Yanno what I mean?
It's not all puppy dogs and rainbows. And it's not all boo hoo, whoa is me. It's yay, and eek, and oops, and wow!
So good job, and try not to stress the backslides. Instead learn from them and work on the behaviors that cause them.
Keep on keeping on!
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 14, 2013 7:35:05 GMT -5
Keep the money in the savings. If you can build the savings up to a certain point, then add it to debt but right now, you need some savings. Too bad it didn't cover some repairs but its a work in progress. When you have time to breathe, you can figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. I know your husband got a better paying job but he may need to do some holiday work to help out for awhile. Stores are hiring and some extra cash would be a very good thing. I don't know what to do about your SS. Do you have a good resource person you can talk to to get advice about him? Seems like there's always one kid adding drama and BS to a family. Those who have perfect children, my hats off to you and I'm envious. The good thing about a problem child is that eventually they reach the age of 18, graduate HS and get out into the world and the day to day BS is no longer your problem. Hopefully, he can get on track before that happens.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 14, 2013 9:17:15 GMT -5
Thank you for updating. Good luck.
Do you know how you're going to handle Christmas?
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 14, 2013 12:06:19 GMT -5
A good update - I was able to cancel the boat insurance and we were able to get a prorated refund of the unused difference. That money went into our savings (looking back, maybe it should have gone on the debt!).
I hate to add to your stress, but when you surrendered the boat, you were likely upside down on it. If the boat sells for less than what you owe on it, are you going to be on the hook for the balance?
|
|
Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,556
|
Post by Works4me on Nov 14, 2013 15:15:22 GMT -5
Kara - thanks for the update. Despite the setbacks things appear to be going much better for you. Sending love, hugs and prayers for all of you.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Nov 14, 2013 20:51:13 GMT -5
Hi Kara -- I love this thread. Your journey is ... real. Yanno what I mean? It's not all puppy dogs and rainbows. And it's not all boo hoo, whoa is me. It's yay, and eek, and oops, and wow! So good job, and try not to stress the backslides. Instead learn from them and work on the behaviors that cause them. Keep on keeping on! Thank you Lucy! I appreciate your kind words and encouragement!
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Nov 14, 2013 21:04:56 GMT -5
Thank you for updating. Good luck. Do you know how you're going to handle Christmas? Taz - you touched on this question a little as well, so if you don't mind, I'll answer here. DH and I both sat the kids down several weeks ago and let them know we will be on a strict budget for Christmas this year. There was some questions and clarification, but no complaining or moaning and groaning about any of it. They know our money situation is serious if their Dad gave up his "Mistress" (our nick-name for the boat). We have already been picking up gifts here and there as we see things on sale and we're sticking to the budget so far (at least as far as Christmas is going! ).
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Nov 14, 2013 21:06:49 GMT -5
Thank you for updating. Good luck. Do you know how you're going to handle Christmas? Taz - you touched on this question a little as well, so if you don't mind, I'll answer here. DH and I both sat the kids down several weeks ago and let them know we will be on a strict budget for Christmas this year. There was some questions and clarification, but no complaining or moaning and groaning about any of it. They know our money situation is serious if their Dad gave up his "Mistress" (our nick-name for the boat). We have already been picking up gifts here and there as we see things on sale and we're sticking to the budget so far (at least as far as Christmas is going! ). Feel free to answer any, all, or no questions asked. However, I'm glad you answered and I'm glad the kids now it's serious since the Mistress is gone. Good luck sticking with the budget. It sounds like you'll have a great Christmas either way.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Nov 14, 2013 21:08:46 GMT -5
A good update - I was able to cancel the boat insurance and we were able to get a prorated refund of the unused difference. That money went into our savings (looking back, maybe it should have gone on the debt!).I hate to add to your stress, but when you surrendered the boat, you were likely upside down on it. If the boat sells for less than what you owe on it, are you going to be on the hook for the balance? No worries - you're not adding to our stress any more than what we've already done. Yes, we will be on the hook for the difference. It is on my to-do list to call the bank since we haven't yet heard from them regarding what we owe. So far, the loan amount on the website is still showing the same amount, so I'm currently assuming that it hasn't sold yet. Mean time, while we're waiting, we're trying to pay down as much as possible and get everything else caught up - granted, we failed miserably last month, but we are trying.
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Nov 14, 2013 21:09:00 GMT -5
Kara, it sound like things are going pretty well. There are always going to be those little steps backward. That's human nature. Still, you're making progress, the kids are on board with you, and DH is coping with the loss of the boat. He may not be happy with it, but he's coping. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and don't look back. (Something might be gaining on you! ) Seriously, you've come a long way since you started this thread. Cut yourself all the slack you need and don't forget to pat yourself on the back once in awhile.
|
|
KaraBoo
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 17:14:51 GMT -5
Posts: 3,076
|
Post by KaraBoo on Nov 14, 2013 21:34:32 GMT -5
I don't mind answering most questions asked - in fact if I missed any, just remind me! I'll let you know if I missed it on purpose or not. I'm really hoping SS is getting his act together, but it's still going to be a long road. We talked a little more tonight and I let him know I'm on his side, but the things he is doing is hurting himself, no one else. We're just really concerned because we can see him hurting himself (with the grades and attitude) and we're trying to help him. He see it, he knows it, but he's 15. Part of his current issue - actually a lot of his overall issues - stem from his mom. I talked with the counselor about this some and he agrees with me that SS is depressed regarding how things are progressing with her and the new chapter in her life. A chapter that appears to be leaving SS and the girls behind. It is really hitting him hard and instead of focusing the blame on her and trying to work through it, he's choosing instead to blame his Dad and I because if custody hadn't changed, maybe his mom would have made different choices. She hasn't gotten remarried yet - but there are changes going on there. She's moving again (3rd time this year) at the beginning of December (sister told her to get out according to BM) and she's going to move in with her boyfriend/fiance. Because of his living situation (?? he lives with his Dad and one of his three kids in a two bedroom house??) there isn't going to be any extra room once BM and her youngest move in with them as well - so the kids (my 3 stepkids) will no longer be allowed to come over for the weekend as there's no room/place for them to sleep. So the kids will only be visiting their mom for the day only. Meanwhile, the guy's kids are calling her mom, BM is encouraging the behavior from the new kids, they'll get to see her more than her own kids and it's tearing SS apart.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Nov 14, 2013 21:40:40 GMT -5
I'm soooooooooo sorry to hear how BM is treating her kids in regards to the new guy. That really sucks and I'm so sorry for your stepkids. I can only imagine it tough it is for her kids to see all this and not be able to do anything (except act out to their other bio-parent). He's also 15 and probably isn't too sure how to handle his emotions and he's a boy and boys need to be tough. (I do realize that it doesn't excuse his behavior.) I just feel real bad for the kids. I'm sure they know that they can talk to you/DH about it, but doesn't always mean that they will. I hope they talk to their counselor about it and work though in a productive way. How are the girls handling it? for the kids.Edited: There's a special place in hell for BM when it's her turn.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 14, 2013 21:43:31 GMT -5
SS needs to focus on his bio dad and vice versa. Time for some male bonding, and past time. I know DH doesn't have the mistress anymore but they can do free stuff, like even walks together. I know it isn't pretty but maybe not seeing the mom too much is gong to be another blessing in disguise. She seems to be a pot stirrer and I'm wondering if she will try to get the kids back in order to get the cash for them to help out new boy toy. Isn't that sweet? She gets to play "mom" again. Until she gets bored with it.
|
|