An Anonymous Note

[usamomma]

Dear Rubbernecker in the car in front of me,

I guess you don't have anywhere to be in a hurry, but I do. Can you please look straight ahead and pay attention to the road? I know that watching another motorist on the side of the road changing a flat tire is absolutely fascinating, but push your accelerator please! It's the pedal on the right, just fyi. If you really want to see the action, why don't you pull over and offer to help the poor guy?

Thanks.

Now this is one I LOVE! ;D

How about a slightly different version like this one.

Dear Rubbernecker in the car in front of me,

I guess you have never seen someone getting pulled over by the Highway Patrol before? Well, you are going to get a close and personal visit if you keep slowing down to watch and someone hits your back end. Can you please look straight ahead and pay attention to the road? I know that watching another motorist on the side of the road getting some kind of traffic ticket from the Highway Patrol is absolutely fascinating, but move out of the lane so I can get around you! If you really want to see the action, why don't you pull over and see if the officer needs any assistance.

Thanks.

[usamomma]

Or how about, since I love this one too regarding tailgaitors...but slightly different version:

To the tailgater behind me...I am not going to go any faster than the cars in front of me, If you continue to tailgait you better be pulling my hair and making me scream.

(I actually saw this on a bumper sticker- "If you are going to ride my A$$ you better be pulling my hair and making me scream"...)

[Elizabeth]

Nice usamomma! Love the different versions. Karma!

[usamomma]

Thank you elizabeth

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

To The Ditz On Her Cell Phone;

You were so engrossed in your conversation that you failed to notice that all freeway traffic had stopped and you plowed into me at nearly 70 mph. Was the $40,000.00 bill your insurance company had to shell out for my (I have no idea what yours were) repairs and medical worth the call?

[TD2K]

Glad to hear you are okay Dawg

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

I should have mentioned, that was 10 years ago.

[The Home 6]

Feb 20, 2011 19:20:01 GMT -5 Mad Dawg Wiccan said:

Feb 19, 2011 19:58:32 GMT -5 TD2K said:

A heat pump that runs on natural gas? That sounds odd to me. Furnaces will use natural gas as will hot water heaters but a heat pump is a compressor driven by an electric motor.

It may be a regional term, or the customer service person may have just misused the term. What we call a heat pump here is just an air conditioning unit that has a reversing valve so the the freon can flow either direction. They are only suited to certain climates and aren't very popular here.

I may have misunderstood her. I was just so happy that my oven doesn't require me to pay $200 a month just to use it. Then I went and turned down the thermostat to 68 degrees. Kids can put on socks and a sweater.

[thyme4change]

(More grocery store)

Dear Lady behind me at checkout;

I know the grocery store is busy. But, I have a full cart of groceries. I see that you only have a few items, and you are welcome to use the 15 or less lane, but I have only put 1/3 of my goceries on the belt. You can't put your items right behind mine. I need to put the rest of my stuff up there, so I can buy it. And, I tried to ask nice when I pointed out that I needed more space, I don't think it was an unreasonable request, since I was here before you and had 15 items up on the belt before you got in line behind me. I don't find it necessary to roll your eyes at me. I do believe I have the right to buy a cart full of food. Just because you aren't patient enough to leave your frozen pizza in your cart for 2 minutes while I get my stuff going doesn't mean that we should all bow down to you. I didn't feel I had a lot of options. You already blocked me in, so I couldn't let you pass. There were 2 people in line behind you, so backing up the whole line for you to get through would have been disruptive. Should I just abandon anything left in my cart? Should I just hand each item, one at a time to the cashier? Think it through dumbass.

[dianartemis]

(grocery store again)

Dear Jackass,

Just because you check out my cart of groceries, doesn't mean I'm checking you out. I have no interest in you. If I did, I'd say something. Your putting your hands on my cart to stop me from shopping really, really pisses me off. Especially if I've already turned you down for a date. If you don't like your foot being run over, then LEAVE ME ALONE!

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

What is it about grocery stores that brings out the worst in people? Me too:

To the teen-aged boy and his mother;
You were standing with your cart in an intersection, blocking traffic in all four directions. I said "Excuse me" because none of the half-dozen other people you were blocking would. Kid, I see that you're bigger than I am but I also see it's all blubber. You can strike an aggressive pose and snarl, "You got some kind of problem" all you want, and I'm not going to back down or shut up. Save that shit for the smaller kids at school, because if you ever actually come at me I will put you down hard and painfully.

[thyme4change]

What is it about grocery stores that brings out the worst in people?

First off, just about everyone goes to a grocery store (at least around here.) If you shop at the mall you are probably with a smaller sub-section of society.

Other places you might go that are very public also have a little more open space, so you aren't forced to be so close to every person on the planet. The aisles are very small, the racks are very tall. You are forced into a pattern. The mall has round racks that you likely can see over, and you can meander around a store and avoid people more easily.

Also, I think very few people go to the grocery store to have fun. Everyone is on a mission, and in their own mindset. Unfortunately, half the people in the store view the trip as something completely different than you do - so your agendas clash.

Grocery stores are very weird that way. You just can't escape the people surrounding you.

[happyscooter]

Dear BIL,
How nice of you to assume that I would take your father to his 2 surgeries and followups (4). 6 trips in all. We get to hear about all of your trips and airline miles that you get to keep. We get to hear about your dinners out and your resort /golf trips. We get to hear about your vacations and the like. Think you might spring for a weekend to check on your dad? A phone call isn't the same.
Signed,
The DIL that wasn't good enough to marry into your family. The one who is married to the son who was asked it he wanted to be in the will. The DIL that paid a babysitter when we wanted to go out. The DIL who wasn't allowed to use the vacation home or borrow the car for an emergency.

[dianartemis]

happy, does this mean your BIL is douchecanoe #2?

[happyscooter]

I read it but I forgot. Who is #1?

[happyscooter]

I probably should delete that. TMI.

[happyscooter]

Please read my thread about 'given a hand up.' That wasn't my In-Laws. By any stretch of the imagination.

[happyscooter]

One good thing came out of the way I was treated (still am). My 2 DILs are treated like royalty.

[dianartemis]

It in another post I read about someone's issue w/ their ex and her expressions of him were quite, umm, entertaining.

[thyme4change]

douchecanoe - ROFL

[happyscooter]

Gotcha.

[usamomma]

More Grocery Store:

To the Lady Who holds up the entire grocery line after the transaction is complete and your groceries are all bagged and in the cart:

I don't care what you have in your purse or that you feel it necessary to count your money, balance your checkbook, check the receipt for accuracy, check your list to make sure you did not forget anything, and then proceed to clean your purse while we are standing behind you. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!!

[usamomma]

Another Grocery Store:

Dear Lady, there are leash laws you know! Those little beasts that you think are cute little children running around wild are getting in our way of shopping. They have created three isle cleanups and are creating a mess; not to mention they could get seriously injured. Get them on a leash already! They are not cute! This is a grocery store not a playground.

[thyme4change]

Dear Guy in rush hour traffic,

I'm guessing you are a tourist, because you keep looking at the window and pointing to different things. Although I'm pleased you are enjoying my town so much, might I suggest you keep your eyes on the road, and the car in your lane. Also, that green light means go. Please drive according to traffic rules for all of our safety.

[NancysSummerSip]

Dear coworker,

I don't care what you call it. Regardless of whether it is powder, cologne or perfume, you smell like a well-used whorehouse.
I don't know what foul stench you are trying to cover with it, but it's not helping.

[patchwork150]

Dear girls at college;

I am sorry to inform you that tights are not pants. They aren't even leggings, and are definetly not jeggins. They are not opaque either- did you know that tights stretch and become see-through in the larger areas of your body? I can see your underwear. And everything else. Walking behind you up the stairs is frightening. The guys are getting a good show though. But I didn't want to see that much of you!

[dianartemis]

And I thought pajama bottoms were lazy. <<diana has a bad visual. Shudder>>

[dianartemis]

Dear Neighborhood Cat:

This is war! If I could figure out how to electrify my door without shocking myself silly, I would. Quit spraying my door.

Your irrated neighbor who will wring your neck when she catches you!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 22, 2011 11:28:17 GMT -5 patchwork150 said:

Dear girls at college;

I am sorry to inform you that tights are not pants. They aren't even leggings, and are definetly not jeggins. They are not opaque either- did you know that tights stretch and become see-through in the larger areas of your body? I can see your underwear. And everything else. Walking behind you up the stairs is frightening. The guys are getting a good show though. But I didn't want to see that much of you!

Beth makes mental note to mention to teenage nieces...

[thyme4change]

Dear Neighborhood Cat:

This is war!

ROFL.