An Anonymous Note

[Elizabeth]

Dear Lady,

Please, would it be so hard to move your damn cart out of the middle of the grocery store aisle? I'm still not sure why you stop in the middle of the aisle then walk away from it to go look at something. Also, would you mind looking where you are walking instead of with your head turned completely to the side, causing multiple near cart collisions to which you are oblivious to?

Thanks.

[Elizabeth]

Dear 100 year old man,

You shouldn't be driving any more. Thanks for the hit and run. I still don't know if you even know you ran into somebody else's car.

Thanks.

[Elizabeth]

Dear Co-worker,

I promise I will read your e-mail. There is no need to send me an e-mail then run to my desk right after you hit send to see if I have read your e-mail yet. It needs at least 10 seconds to make it to my inbox!

Thanks.

[TD2K]

I promise I will read your e-mail. There is no need to send me an e-mail then run to my desk right after you hit send to see if I have read your e-mail yet. It needs at least 10 seconds to make it to my inbox!




My boss does this. Argh, no, I don't not stop what I'm doing to read the latest email that pops in. And the corollary is when he asks me when I'm going to supply him with whatever he asked for and it's already in his inbox.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Client:

Yes, I know you like to receive your check on the same day each week, so I mail it the same day each week. No, I cannot control what day it will be delivered.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Social Worker;

No, I did not pay <insert client's name>'s electric bill. The bill goes to <the client>, and I send them money on the 1st to pay that bill. It is NOT my fault <the client> spent it on partying, and there is no money left in their account to pay this bill now.

[Deleted]

Dear neighbor , Please stop putting your snow into the street so the snow plow pushes it back into my driveway.

[chiver78]

Feb 13, 2011 12:36:00 GMT -5 Elizabeth said:

Dear Co-worker,

I promise I will read your e-mail. There is no need to send me an e-mail then run to my desk right after you hit send to see if I have read your e-mail yet. It needs at least 10 seconds to make it to my inbox!

Thanks.

another corollary :

dear boss,

if I send you an email, I expect that you will have some vague grasp as to the content of that email when we meet 3 days later. I can only say this is what I have learned from you in that should you send me an email while I'm in the field and away from my desk, that you expect me to know what's contained in that email when you call me while I'm still away from my desk.

thanks,
your lackey

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Client;

I warned you not to order cable TV service. It is NOT my fault you have no money for food.

[chiver78]

damn, mdw, what do you do for work?

dear asshole neighbor,

while you may think your world stops at the outside walls of your townhouse, your music/movies/sports are being played at volumes that physically shake things on my walls and wake me up from a dead sleep. please see a doctor about your craniorectal inversion soon, so that we can all have a little peace and quiet. you know, like when you're not here for a week at a time.

thanks....

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

<<damn, mdw, what do you do for work?>>


My clients are all Developmentally Disabled, I manage their Social Security benefits for them.

[chiver78]

ah, your anonymous letters make a little more sense now. you must have the patience of a saint!

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

It has been known to run thin. I just fired a client last week due to her months of lies and manipulation. I can only take so much.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dear Boss,

Those emails you're forwarding onto me to provide me with info for one of our systems are sales pitches for purchasing their software. Unless we're willing to pony up another $7000 to replace the software that we purchased 6 months ago, they don't tell me anything more than what I already know.

[Elizabeth]

Dear Teenage Boy at the mall,

Those skinny jeans you are wearing make you look like a chick. Just cuz it's "in" doesn't mean it looks good on you or that you should wear it.

[TheOtherMe]

Feb 13, 2011 15:24:29 GMT -5 Mad Dawg Wiccan said:

<<damn, mdw, what do you do for work?>>


My clients are all Developmentally Disabled, I manage their Social Security benefits for them.

I am also a representative payee for a woman who is mentally ill and a woman who is in a nursing home. I pay all the bills for the both of these women. The woman in the nursing home is on Title 19 and only gets to keep $50 out of her income. After her health insurance is paid, everything except for $50 goes to the nursing home.

[Deleted]

Dear smart ass,
Yes, I was waiting for a car to leave it's parking spot and did not realize I was blocking you trying to get out of your slot. Instead of trying to squeeze by and scraping the paint off my back bumper, I would have moved had you beeped your horn. No, I did not realize you were sitting in your car waiting for me to block you in before you decided you were ready to leave - otherwise I would have been waiting for YOUR spot.

PS - flipping me off after I move for you just pissed me off and since my minivan is easily 4 times the size of your POS be thankful I wasn't having a Fried Green Tomatoes day.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

and since my minivan is easily 4 times the size of your POS be thankful I wasn't having a Fried Green Tomatoes day.

ROFLMAO Rose ! That deserves a PODT

[tll]

Dear A-hole STBX: I hope that you are happy with your choices. I am SOOOOOOOOO thankful you finally left! Just remember that karma is a beyotch - and I can be, too!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deleted]

That was yesterday and I'm still steaming about it! If my kids hadn't been in the car with me (and dh ) I definitely would have given it a lot more consideration!

[Apple]

TAWANDA!! Lol.

[busymom]

Dear Driver coming towards me & veering across the center line:
Please hang up your cell phone & drive! Thank you!
Please send same memo to the guy who was tailgating me & talking on his cell yesterday!

[Apple]

To all the stupid drivers,

You suck. That is all.

--apple

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Client/Social Worker;

Your failure to inform me of the upcoming expense for an event that you have known about for weeks but couldn't be bothered to tell me does NOT constitute an emergency on my part. I will NOT send you a check via Overnight Delivery at my expense, nor will I deliver it to your home.

[Apple]

Dear coworker that came to work on overtime drunk this weekend,

You're an idiot. And you bet I'll raise hell the next time something you help wire blows up in my face (again). Yeah, I'm guessing the bosses aren't just going to believe it's "the nature of the job" like you want them to now that you've been "found out". You're in your 40s, time to figure it out and realize some of us don't the thought of our lives being taken out by your inept and derelict hands. Hope you had a fun ride home with the boss first thing in the morning.

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Apple, been there done that. Only in my case it wasn't drunkenness but pure incompetence. It didn't blow up but single-phased an HVAC motor which smoked and set off the hospital smoke alarm, causing a visit by the local FD.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dear Boss,

I"m sorry that you paid the statistician on the project for the 3 years the project ran, only to fire him for non-effort right before I need to put the work together for the research meeting and write the paper for the journal. Had his salary been diverted to ME, I'd be much happier doing his job now rather than doing it 'gratis' - especially since he's paid 50% more than me.

And thank you for telling me this the day I leave the state for surgery. Yes, I know I'll be off of work for 6 weeks sitting on my ass recovering. But quite frankly, my brain isn't at the point where I can run stats on this project. I WILL get it done as soon as the narcotics are out of my system and I can concentrate for more than 10 min.

When I do this, there WILL be compensation!

[Lindz85]

Dear boss,

Why don't you stop walking around holding your coffee cup, watching everyone like a hawk making sure they are working every second of the day and get into your office and work on the message that I sent you 5 days ago!!!!!

thanks,
your worker that you hate so much

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

Dear Lead Tech;

I don't give a flying rodent's posterior how big you are or how many years you spent in the Navy. I'm not some 17 year old recruit that is intimidated by your size or the volume of your voice. Get in my face like that again and I will put you down hard.

[Apple]

Feb 13, 2011 22:07:24 GMT -5 Mad Dawg Wiccan said:

Apple, been there done that. Only in my case it wasn't drunkenness but pure incompetence. It didn't blow up but single-phased an HVAC motor which smoked and set off the hospital smoke alarm, causing a visit by the local FD.

This guy is incompetent, but the bosses never gave a crap til he showed up drunk. We were just always sent in to fix stuff. Now I'm sure they're wondering how many times he's come in impaired. I hope at the very least it's a long time before he is selected for overtime. He's pissed a lot of people off lately, but they won't fire him.