zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 30, 2013 12:53:58 GMT -5
What I can prepare is so limited because of DFs health issues. No fiber whatsoever. He can only eat white rice which I really don't like but brown will do him in. Careful with fruit as well. No green veggies or salads. Sigh. What he can eat destroys my figure so I'm basically at two meals or get fat or eat out.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on May 30, 2013 13:02:47 GMT -5
Some people are just picky. You can drive yourself crazy or just work around it. Your kids are pretty young so they are not going to be adventurous in eating yet. I don't force feed anyone and i really don't want to be bothered trying to make anyone eat anything. Eat what you like and offer new things when you go out and if they want to try it fine, if not, don't worry about it. Eventually, when they become teens they will want to try new things. Pretty much this. We only fix one meal at home. If the kids eat great, if not that is fine too. Breakfast is in the morning. We don't serve bedtime snacks. i also tell my kids to only eat until they are full, they do not have to clean the plate. I am ok with throwing food away, instead of teaching children to engorge. Dh grew up with abusive parents with some crazy food ideas. That does not happen here. Took dh awhile to get use to throwing food away uneaten. I am the picky one in our house and my tastes have consistently stayed the same my whole life. Dh will eat everything just not foods that are mixed up like a casserole. He wants a meat, starch, veggie. His meat of choice is steak. I am not a fan of steak.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2013 13:08:21 GMT -5
I also tell my kids to only eat until they are full, they do not have to clean the plate. I am ok with throwing food away, instead of teaching children to gorge. Absolutely agreed. There were days when DS was little that I had no idea how he managed on the small amounts of food he seemed to be eating, but I figured he was pretty smart and if he was hungry, he'd eat. He's a lean, healthy adult now. The "clean plate" rule is telling kids to ignore their bodies' signals that they've had enough. It just didn't make sense to me.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 30, 2013 13:12:06 GMT -5
liver and onions is one of those meals I have absolutely zero desire to try. Delicious. Liver is an acquired taste. Besides boiled lobster cooked by mom for me as my birthday dinner, the other favorite birthday dinner was liver and onions or bacon. I also like chicken livers cold (though cooked) or sauteed in a brandy cream sauce..
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on May 30, 2013 13:21:33 GMT -5
We've never had the clean your plate rule. But he has to at least TRY it before saying he doesn't like it. And if you don't like it, fine- but don't make the "EEEEEWWW that is gross" face and whine. DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 30, 2013 13:24:26 GMT -5
See, the list you posted would make me MAKE my kids different things bc I wouldn't allow them to eat hot dogs and sandwiches or pancakes or chicken nuggets 100% of the time. There is no nutritional value in jam sandwiches or bagels with cream cheese - all processed food. Between that and eating out - I think you are setting your kids up for a life of unhealthy eating
And I am the one who said that I don't force food on anyone.
I would start small and simple - I don't believe in dramatic changes bc I don't think they last
I would make chicken and let them choose another side or something. But chicken would have to be eaten first. During the week, I either bake it or boil the chicken. If it's boiled, I just mix it with some sauce - usually tomato base- and have a carb and veggies with it.
And so forth....
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justme
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Post by justme on May 30, 2013 13:25:25 GMT -5
My parents didn't have a clean your plate rule, but they had a clean X item rule. Usually when we avoided it or if it was something new we didn't want to try, then they dished out a small portion and we had to finish that before we could leave/get dessert.
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trimommy
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Post by trimommy on May 30, 2013 13:27:42 GMT -5
You aren't a short order cook. I haven't read through all the replies yet (I went to a meeting and came back to 3 pages!) but I just wanted to say that I am typically not the short order cook. My husband is because he gets home first and doesn't mind doing it since it facilitates his own eating style. I then typically eat what he's made with maybe an extra veggie dish that I make for myself (and sometimes my daughter). My husband tries. Honestly, I know he does and has made progress since I first met him. But he would be the first to admit to being a very picky eater himself. And I know, you are all right about the kids being manipulative because they know I will cave. I will work on that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 30, 2013 13:31:26 GMT -5
I've learned that if I want to get everyone to try something new it helps to couch it in a familar recipe. DH wouldn't touch eggplant alone with a ten foot pole, didn't help I destroyed the poor vegetable with my cooknig methods. I decided to try it again when I saw Rachel Ray make a roasted eggplant lasanga. DH had thirds.
After the eggplant and kohlrabi debacles I really research recipes before I bring new stuff into the house. I try to make sure I know how to cook it before it crosses my threshold.
I'm still looking for plantains. I think we saw them at SuperSaver. I have a "cuban lasanga" I really want to try. Not the healthiest dish by a long shot but I loved plantains when I had them at a Cuban resturant in LA. So I want to cook with them.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 30, 2013 13:31:33 GMT -5
My mom was always "well, if you don't want to eat this, you must not be that hungry" philosophy. I didn't like that at all.
My grandma, who lived with us, and have gone through WWI and WWII starvation and who lost a child to starvation would not allow my mom to send me to bed hungry.
Needless to say, I played on my granma's heart strings quite a bit, may she rest in piece.
I try to look at this (as many other things) from my perspective - do "I" always want to eat something just bc it was given to me? Nope, not at all. So, I try giving my kids choices, but I am also not a short-order cook and I am NOT making 5 different meals every nights, so....
And as I mentioned before - their choices are fairly healthy ones and the ones I either already have in the fridge or are easy to make, so I don't really care what they pick and if they each pick a different thing.
So far it has worked with two oldest ones. We'll see what happens when "baby" starts talking....
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 30, 2013 13:32:26 GMT -5
Good luck with that. I would warn them upfront but be prepared for some serious shit.
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trimommy
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Post by trimommy on May 30, 2013 13:33:03 GMT -5
I agree, but I also think that letting your kids skip dinner so they can eat bananas and grapes at bedtime, and then declaring they are healthy kids isn't a good idea either. I'm a huge fan of fruit, but there is zero protein in it. There is some nutrition, but mostly, they are made up of fairly simple carbs. Yes, it is better than giving them a twinkie at bedtime, but a bunch of fruit is not a substitute for a healthy, well balanced meal. We don't really plan our healthy, well balanced meals anyway. Sometimes we have no protein, sometimes we have no veggies, sometimes we have only pasta. I don't lose sleep over any individual meal. This has been my motto since the kids were born. I remember reading that as long as what they are eating balances out on a weekly basis, it doesn't matter if your 18 mos old has a pint of blueberries for dinner tonight (which he actually did a few times). I don't know if I'm just kidding myself, but it did make me relax a whole lot.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 30, 2013 13:34:17 GMT -5
Honestly, I know he does and has made progress since I first met him. But he would be the first to admit to being a very picky eater himself.
Your local library should have tons of cookbooks. There are also tons of recipes online. Why not spend time browsing what is out there? Let your husband pick some recipes, you pick some and let your kid's pick some. Then everyone gets assigned a day and you eat that meal.
Betty Crocker has a tool where you can type in ingredients and what meal you're planning. It'll then spit out pages of recipes.
So you could type in "chicken" if you know everyone will eat that and BC will spit out tons of chicken recipes. You're bound to find one everyone would try.
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trimommy
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Post by trimommy on May 30, 2013 13:40:44 GMT -5
I don't really agree with that either. Sometimes it is best to move on. We certainly don't get an A+ on all our meals either. But if the OP's consistent routine is to not bother to have her kids eat dinner and then eat a bunch of fruit at bedtime (or whatever she is giving them as a healthy snack), then it isn't a single meal, a single day or even a week of non-balanced meals. It is a lifetime. I think you are being overdramatic here - my kids eat dinner. They just don't eat very adventurously and it is the same thing over and over again. I make them try veggies and if they refuse to eat the meal, they get a healthy snack before bedtime. The times where they refuse to eat are few and far between because typically my husband will make them dinner before I get home, and he caters to the grilled cheese sandwiches and cheese pizza style meals. But we use whole grain bread, whole wheat pasta (for spaghetti), brown rice, etc. My kids are not having a lifetime of unbalanced meals with bananas before bed.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 30, 2013 13:47:03 GMT -5
What do you consider a "healthy snack?"
I guess I don't consider daily grilled cheese on whole grain bread a well balanced diet. But, who knows. The standards for healthy eating seem to change drastically every couple of years.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on May 30, 2013 13:50:10 GMT -5
You aren't a short order cook. I haven't read through all the replies yet (I went to a meeting and came back to 3 pages!) but I just wanted to say that I am typically not the short order cook. My husband is because he gets home first and doesn't mind doing it since it facilitates his own eating style. I then typically eat what he's made with maybe an extra veggie dish that I make for myself (and sometimes my daughter). My husband tries. Honestly, I know he does and has made progress since I first met him. But he would be the first to admit to being a very picky eater himself. And I know, you are all right about the kids being manipulative because they know I will cave. I will work on that. If your husband is consciously trying to change his ways and has made progress in doing so, he realizes what he does with regard to food isn't right. That's good news! That will help him to realize how wrong it would be to impart that same wrongness to his kids. I think, if you play it right, you can get his help to make the necessary changes.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 30, 2013 13:53:34 GMT -5
I know a lot of people on this board hate her, but have you looked at Rachael Ray's cookbooks? her 30-minute meals are pretty easy enough to make, and many of them are intended to be healthier and more well-rounded than they appear at first glance. you'll be working a number over on your DH as well as the kids. my sis and I were pretty picky as kids, but were made to try at least a couple bites of something new before we could declare we hated it. my dad was/is pretty laid-back about foods except that he WILL.NOT.EAT.SPINACH just wilted w/butter 'n garlic- mom's favorite way to prepare it. the night she introduced me to that veggie, she told dad that he had to choke down a bite of it w/o making a face whether he wanted to or not, because I'd never try it if he made a face. I don't know how he managed to do it, because even the smell of that side now will turn him green, but spinach is one of my favorite foods to this day. I totally agree with the posters that have said your DH is setting a very bad example for your kids. if you can work to expose them to new foods, even in spite of your DH, you (and the kids, too!) might be surprised to find that they actually like something they wouldn't ever try if left to themselves. good luck
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on May 30, 2013 13:54:38 GMT -5
Trimommy, I think you're doing fine. Just be balanced and add in new things gradually and regularly, as you said. Children know they don't have "power" in a parent-child relationship so sometimes if they see they can acquire "power" by causing food wars it escalates for no reason. At that point it's not even about the FOOD - it's about the reaction they get.
I'm NOT saying that's what happening in your case. Again, I think you're just fine. Just a comment from what I've observed and tried to keep in mind myself.
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trimommy
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Post by trimommy on May 30, 2013 13:56:49 GMT -5
Honestly, I know he does and has made progress since I first met him. But he would be the first to admit to being a very picky eater himself.
Your local library should have tons of cookbooks. There are also tons of recipes online. Why not spend time browsing what is out there? Let your husband pick some recipes, you pick some and let your kid's pick some. Then everyone gets assigned a day and you eat that meal. Betty Crocker has a tool where you can type in ingredients and what meal you're planning. It'll then spit out pages of recipes. So you could type in "chicken" if you know everyone will eat that and BC will spit out tons of chicken recipes. You're bound to find one everyone would try. This is a really great idea. I think we could work on weekly meal plans together too! Thanks for all your input everyone. I feel better about this now.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 30, 2013 13:57:43 GMT -5
trimommy when I faced the challenge of changing DH's eating habits I started small. I didn't get him eating healthy and tryinglots of new foods overnight. Any change that went down without a ruckus was a positive even if it was as small as geting him to eat brown rice over white.
I worked my way up to the big changes. He acclimated to his new normal without even registering what I was doing. By the time he was aware of it he didn't care and was in fact happy with the improvements in his healthy.
Now we're too the point where he points out and suggests new things/recipes himself.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 30, 2013 14:00:11 GMT -5
www.pbs.org/parents/food-and-fitness/eat-smart/win-over-picky-eaters/From the article: I don't think trying a couple of bites is enough. You would have to give kids the same food every week and require a couple of bites, for two and a half months. And THEN they are allowed to declare they don't like it. Humans are creatures of habit, and new habits aren't established in two bites.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on May 30, 2013 14:00:12 GMT -5
Some people are just picky. You can drive yourself crazy or just work around it. Your kids are pretty young so they are not going to be adventurous in eating yet. I don't force feed anyone and i really don't want to be bothered trying to make anyone eat anything. Eat what you like and offer new things when you go out and if they want to try it fine, if not, don't worry about it. Eventually, when they become teens they will want to try new things. Pretty much this. We only fix one meal at home. If the kids eat great, if not that is fine too. Breakfast is in the morning. We don't serve bedtime snacks. i also tell my kids to only eat until they are full, they do not have to clean the plate. I am ok with throwing food away, instead of teaching children to engorge. Dh grew up with abusive parents with some crazy food ideas. That does not happen here. Took dh awhile to get use to throwing food away uneaten. I am the picky one in our house and my tastes have consistently stayed the same my whole life. Dh will eat everything just not foods that are mixed up like a casserole. He wants a meat, starch, veggie. His meat of choice is steak. I am not a fan of steak. This, too, is my problem. DH will ONLY eat a meal if it includes meat and starch. Period. Well, I'm a vegetarian and I avoid gluten. When the kids were all home I just cooked for all of them as a whole and ate whatever suited me. Now that it's just DH and I it's much more difficult. Basically, I cook separate meals for two people. For us, it works, but I wouldn't do separate meals to cater to the entire families likes and dislikes.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 30, 2013 14:02:43 GMT -5
www.pbs.org/parents/food-and-fitness/eat-smart/win-over-picky-eaters/From the article: I don't think trying a couple of bites is enough. You would have to give kids the same food every week and require a couple of bites, for two and a half months. And THEN they are allowed to declare they don't like it. Humans are creatures of habit, and new habits aren't established in two bites. yup, and we would be presented with the same new food again a couple weeks later. if we declared we hated it, that was it for that food for that night. I suppose I could have been a little clearer about it.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 30, 2013 14:05:20 GMT -5
My Dh is much better about getting veggies in ds than I am. He gives him seasoned veggies or salad as an appetizer while he makes the rest of lunch or dinner. Ds will eat quite a bit that way when he isn't choosing between a veggie and something better.
Ds is also helping dgf plant the garden, and asks 'what's that' incessantly at the grocery store, so I'm trying to talk up all the veggies he's planted and get him excited about harvest.
But ill let my parents feed him beets. I can't pretend that those are edible.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on May 30, 2013 14:05:35 GMT -5
I've learned that if I want to get everyone to try something new it helps to couch it in a familar recipe. DH wouldn't touch eggplant alone with a ten foot pole, didn't help I destroyed the poor vegetable with my cooknig methods. I decided to try it again when I saw Rachel Ray make a roasted eggplant lasanga. DH had thirds.
After the eggplant and kohlrabi debacles I really research recipes before I bring new stuff into the house. I try to make sure I know how to cook it before it crosses my threshold.
I'm still looking for plantains. I think we saw them at SuperSaver. I have a "cuban lasanga" I really want to try. Not the healthiest dish by a long shot but I loved plantains when I had them at a Cuban resturant in LA. So I want to cook with them. My children get to pick one item they want, every time we go to the grocery store. Normally they choose a fruit, yogurt or something of that nature. Last week my son wanted plantains. I had to explain that I had no idea how to fix them. He went with a kiwi instead.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 30, 2013 14:08:32 GMT -5
My DH is not picky, but certainly has his own taste. I would NEVER try to change that. He is a grown man, not my child. My kids eat lots of things that he doesn't - sushi and olives are good examples. He doesn't make a big deal about - just doesn't put any on his plate.
Same with certain vegetable - cauliflower or spinach, for example.
He knows that he doesn't have a wide range of things that he likes and is very happy that I am exposing kids to various things.
I think it's crazy disrespectful to try to change taste of an adult.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 30, 2013 14:10:41 GMT -5
LOL - after several failed attempts, I made my first successful beet dish a couple nights ago. I just cleaned them, wrapped them in foil and let them roast in the oven. When they cooled down, I put them in a salad, with some steak, blue cheese and a balsamic vinaigrette. It was fabulous! I never liked beets before.
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2013 14:10:59 GMT -5
Liver is an acquired taste. Besides boiled lobster cooked by mom for me as my birthday dinner, the other favorite birthday dinner was liver and onions or bacon. I also like chicken livers cold (though cooked) or sauteed in a brandy cream sauce.. I can eat pate if there's enough garlic in it but just can't handle plain old sauteed liver and onions. My mother once tried to serve us liver, telling us it was "beef", which was technically correct. It didn't work. DH eats a smaller variety of veggies than I do, but enough to be healthy. He hates the texture of mushrooms but is OK getting food that has them, picking them out and giving them to me. I frequently add large quantities of wilted spinach or sauteed onions to my own serving of what he makes; he's perfectly happy with that.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 30, 2013 14:12:49 GMT -5
LOL - after several failed attempts, I made my first successful beet dish a couple nights ago. I just cleaned them, wrapped them in foil and let them roast in the oven. When they cooled down, I put them in a salad, with some steak, blue cheese and a balsamic vinaigrette. It was fabulous! I never liked beets before. I made beets for thanksgiving and no one but my toddler ate them. I need to do it more bc I want my two oldest to eat it. My DH doesn't eat them, so no help there
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 30, 2013 14:13:17 GMT -5
I think it's crazy disrespectful to try to change taste of an adult.
Maybe, but I wasn't cooking cream of crap casserole with a side of overcooked green beans. If he wanted to eat it that bad he can learn to cook it. Since he never volunteered out the processed foods he was accustomed to went.
Even he says how I cook is way better and healthier than his mom and he'd probably be dead of a heart attack if he kept eating like that.
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