happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 9, 2013 6:59:33 GMT -5
I guess I'm confused about why a poker game is a work event?
At my work place, sometimes an upper management person hosts a cocktail party after hours, but you know you're supposed to show up, drink one drink, eat a few cocktail weinies, smile politely, and then leave. It isn't really a 'fun' event.
If I was hosting a poker game with alcohol, it would be with friends. Maybe some of the friends are from work, but it wouldn't be a 'work' event.
So I think you're going to have to discontinue the 'work' poker games and make them all strictly 'for fun.'
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 9, 2013 8:56:02 GMT -5
::I guess I'm confused about why a poker game is a work event? ::
It's not. And MMCs boss didn't say it was, he just said MMC needed to be careful with it because it might be construed that way.
Specific factors that might contribute to it being viewed as a work event:
MMC is a manager. MMC hosted someone from the company who was on company travel and under the corporate travel policy at the time.
::So I think you're going to have to discontinue the 'work' poker games and make them all strictly 'for fun.' ::
Which likely means not inviting people who will be attending while on company time and under the corporate travel policy.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 9, 2013 8:59:32 GMT -5
Or just don't invite the asshole again.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 9, 2013 9:07:53 GMT -5
Or just don't invite the asshole again. That's the problem...we don't all agree on which one is the asshole!llol
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 9, 2013 9:09:02 GMT -5
Or just don't invite the asshole again. That's the problem...we don't all agree on which one is the asshole!llol Don't invite the assholes.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 9, 2013 9:27:32 GMT -5
That's the problem...we don't all agree on which one is the asshole!llol Don't invite the assholes. That I agree with
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Icelandic Woman
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Post by Icelandic Woman on May 9, 2013 16:42:10 GMT -5
Okay MMC it has been a couple of days and I am dying to know how it is at work with the party poopers
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 9, 2013 16:53:26 GMT -5
I'm sure this has been said (I haven't gotten to catch up, but wanted to comment before I forget)
This is one of those darn "technicalities" that are the worst kinds of things to be in trouble for. Everyone was off the clock EXCEPT the guy on travel, who I suppose by the book is perpetually on the clock until he returns home.
I can see how, if the company decides not to enforce its policy, then the next time somebody breaks the rules, that person will expect an exception too.
Add a personal vendetta into the mix -- the whistleblower seeing a chance to get back at his old rival, and it makes for a bad situation.
Perception really is reality.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 9, 2013 18:22:30 GMT -5
I think the lesson of this thread is don't try to mix personal and business beyond the superficial.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2013 23:01:43 GMT -5
Okay MMC it has been a couple of days and I am dying to know how it is at work with the party poopers The one in trouble got an email summarizing the conversation with his boss and that email was CC'd to upper management and HR. I believe that is it. No official entry in his "file". More of a warning. He is trying hard to find out "who the goddamn rat is". HR/Management has done a pretty good job keeping the entire thing on the down-low and only a few people outside of those involved know about it. I'm sure word will get out soon. He is set to have business travel next month where he is going to a vendor conference. He will be the only one there from our company. I wonder how he will conduct himself. The vendor is known for throwing big parties at night.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 10, 2013 8:47:22 GMT -5
Okay MMC it has been a couple of days and I am dying to know how it is at work with the party poopers The one in trouble got an email summarizing the conversation with his boss and that email was CC'd to upper management and HR. I believe that is it. No official entry in his "file". More of a warning. He is trying hard to find out "who the goddamn rat is". HR/Management has done a pretty good job keeping the entire thing on the down-low and only a few people outside of those involved know about it. I'm sure word will get out soon. He is set to have business travel next month where he is going to a vendor conference. He will be the only one there from our company. I wonder how he will conduct himself. The vendor is known for throwing big parties at night. Do you know what he actually did? maybe that would help us determine if the tattling was justified or not...because we all have a vested interest
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Icelandic Woman
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Post by Icelandic Woman on May 10, 2013 11:16:43 GMT -5
Okay MMC it has been a couple of days and I am dying to know how it is at work with the party poopers The one in trouble got an email summarizing the conversation with his boss and that email was CC'd to upper management and HR. I believe that is it. No official entry in his "file". More of a warning. He is trying hard to find out "who the goddamn rat is". HR/Management has done a pretty good job keeping the entire thing on the down-low and only a few people outside of those involved know about it. I'm sure word will get out soon. He is set to have business travel next month where he is going to a vendor conference. He will be the only one there from our company. I wonder how he will conduct himself. The vendor is known for throwing big parties at night. Thanks MMC!!! So has this whole thing affected feelings or moods in the office?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 10, 2013 13:13:28 GMT -5
true....but if someone offends me while we're out at dinner having a few cocktails, I'm not going to report it to management I'm not exactly sure what someone would have to say to offend me in the conference room for me to report it. If someone is a dick, management already knows. They just don't care. The only time it is worth reporting is if management is gathering their documentation to get the dude fired, and you want to suck up and give them additional bullets.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 10, 2013 19:41:41 GMT -5
...:::"He is trying hard to find out "who the goddamn rat is".":::...
Until I read this sentence, I thought that the drunk's rival saw a golden opportunity to torpedo his rival. Drunk while on travel! Like shooting fish in a barrel. I suppose it could still be true though, and the rival was more sly about it. Yeah count me in as someone who would love to know what the incident actually was.
I get that it may not matter. Either it was truly offensive (say, the drunk making scathing racial jokes), or it was a little more vanilla but still an opportunity. The point is, the company believes that while this specific instance doesn't merit firings; it very easily could have. The parties therefore are a liability, and MMC has to "think very carefully" about how/if he ever has a party of this nature again.
For all we know, the drunk said something about how people who believe in unicorns are idiots, and the "victim" twisted that into a big deal. Just having to DEAL with the situation could be enough for the company to want out.
Or, maybe the drunk (I think MMC said he was a minority) was spouting on about how he tricks "stupid white people" and uses his minority status to his advantage to "fleece the oppressors" or something.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2013 23:25:13 GMT -5
They have worked together 7 years now and from all accounts, have always butted heads. The one in trouble has been at the company the shorter amount of time, yet made it to a senior level title first. Of course at the time, he rubbed it in the other guys face. Then 2 years ago the other guy got his promotion and I thought that restored some balance between them, but something always lingers below the surface.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2013 9:49:31 GMT -5
Let them duke it out in the parking lot. Then they can beat the crap out of each other and move on.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on May 12, 2013 10:06:02 GMT -5
A few years ago, I was working the graveyard shift at Wendy's, gotten my driver's license, and purchased my first car. I was looking for a better job, in high hopes of getting one soon. My coworkers at Wendy's were an assorted lot. One of them was an ex-convict, who was sweet, friendly, and not at all threatening or violent. Another was a college student who worked at night to make ends meet. The grill guy had mild mental issues, also very sweet and hard-working. Then there was the new guy they had hired for the drive-through register. He was very young and looked though. One day I was leaving work and it was cold. He made signs for me to stop and asked me if I could give him a ride. I said yes. He jumped in. As I approached the area where he lived, I smelt marijuana inside my car. I asked him what he was doing, he said nothing. We kept discussing this, I couldn't really see him because he was in the back seat and it was dark (it was around 4 a.m.). Then I saw a couple of police patrols ahead stopping cars coming by. So I stopped my car, and yelled to this guy to get out. He yelled and cursed, but finally left. As he got out, he threatened me with bodily harm. So next day I talked to the manager at Wendy's, and he said since this all had happened outside work, there was nothing he could do about it. He said I just had to smile and bear it. He suggested I call the police, but outside work hours. I worked two more days there, feeling very frightened. I was also angry with the manager for not doing anything about it. Then I had my work interview, got offered the job, and never again showed my face at that Wendy's.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 16, 2013 13:30:04 GMT -5
I was reminded of this one by something I experienced today. I made a comment that I thought was very simple and didn't put anybody down. I guess it was one person's "hot button" issue, because he got really insulted. Whiners... This is a person I had started to trust and whose company I enjoyed, and who had made more than his share of jokes as well. Guess I'm cutting him out now because he may very well be the person keeping the detailed log book that then gets sprung on me. People are going to feel they have no choice but to be completely impersonal with each other.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on May 16, 2013 15:34:13 GMT -5
Gosh, I remember the Teambuilding events at my old job. Usually at night, attendence 'strongly encouraged' listening to drunk coworkers say all kinds of stupid and offensive things. The worst were the baseball games--90 degree heat, not getting home until after midnight, and then having to drag myself to an 8am meeting.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 16, 2013 15:36:21 GMT -5
You made me think of whatever airline commerical it was that had a guy trying to escape from a teambuilding event. They had to stand in a circle wearing the "honesty hat" and say what they feel. "I feel like you all think I am an idiot" "And why is that?" "Because of the hat"
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on May 16, 2013 15:55:55 GMT -5
The teambuilding events at my old job always involved dangerously large amounts of alcohol and often involved sports. And for some reason, management would often try to pressure various single female employees to date one particular guy there. When it was my turn to be pressured, I blurted out "If I wanted everyone at work to know my bra size, I'd send an email." Last I heard, they did manage to get him married off to one of the ladies there. I'm so glad to be out of there.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 17, 2013 17:50:44 GMT -5
MMC, I have to ask: you mentioned they are of different races. Was race part of the skirmish, and/or ever part of their animosity?
There was a racial element to my situation the other day. I did NOT make any racial comments, but I said something unrelated that the other idiot decided he could find offense in, and did.
Bastard supports me though. But it will be a while before I trust him, so I don't know that I'll bother sending him any other work. I'll continue to pretend everything is fine, because thats what professionals (and men) do. I'm not going to give him the opportunity to torpedo me by "accidentally" letting something slip through in a spreadsheet.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 17, 2013 19:04:54 GMT -5
A few years ago, I was working the graveyard shift at Wendy's, gotten my driver's license, and purchased my first car. I was looking for a better job, in high hopes of getting one soon. My coworkers at Wendy's were an assorted lot. One of them was an ex-convict, who was sweet, friendly, and not at all threatening or violent. Another was a college student who worked at night to make ends meet. The grill guy had mild mental issues, also very sweet and hard-working. Then there was the new guy they had hired for the drive-through register. He was very young and looked though.One day I was leaving work and it was cold. He made signs for me to stop and asked me if I could give him a ride. I said yes. He jumped in. As I approached the area where he lived, I smelt marijuana inside my car. I asked him what he was doing, he said nothing. We kept discussing this, I couldn't really see him because he was in the back seat and it was dark (it was around 4 a.m.). Then I saw a couple of police patrols ahead stopping cars coming by. So I stopped my car, and yelled to this guy to get out. He yelled and cursed, but finally left. As he got out, he threatened me with bodily harm. So next day I talked to the manager at Wendy's, and he said since this all had happened outside work, there was nothing he could do about it. He said I just had to smile and bear it. He suggested I call the police, but outside work hours. I worked two more days there, feeling very frightened. I was also angry with the manager for not doing anything about it. Then I had my work interview, got offered the job, and never again showed my face at that Wendy's. I'm not sure what you wanted the manager to do. That is a classic case of "he said/she said".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2013 19:56:08 GMT -5
MMC, I have to ask: you mentioned they are of different races. Was race part of the skirmish, and/or ever part of their animosity? There was a racial element to my situation the other day. I did NOT make any racial comments, but I said something unrelated that the other idiot decided he could find offense in, and did. Bastard supports me though. But it will be a while before I trust him, so I don't know that I'll bother sending him any other work. I'll continue to pretend everything is fine, because thats what professionals (and men) do. I'm not going to give him the opportunity to torpedo me by "accidentally" letting something slip through in a spreadsheet. Nothing between the two is about race.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2013 19:58:21 GMT -5
I keep getting asked by different people at the party when the next one will be. The secret apparently is not out. I've just been deflecting so far by saying we usually only do it twice a year.
I'm thinking of alternatives including having it organized by someone else or making it alcohol free.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 18, 2013 21:00:11 GMT -5
Thats a tough call MMC. People obviously enjoy themselves, and want to keep having fun. Unfortunately playing host puts a lot of risk and liability on you. God forbid you have to pay the price because some loser likes making a crusade out of nothing.
Would the company have reacted the same way if neither party was on travel? Like, if the rat had tattled but nobody was actually on work time, would it still matter? I can see why companies are squeamish about this -- it costs them money to defend themselves against whiners who build mountains out of molehills. Too bad they can't put some of this energy towards their work.
ETA: making it alcohol free won't solve anything. If these bickering children are motivated to torpedo each other, then they already know the rules and will find some technicality to raise heck with.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 18, 2013 21:43:17 GMT -5
You want people to go to a work related fiction off hours without alcohol? Seriously?!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 19, 2013 7:02:37 GMT -5
Don't invite the troublemaker, whether its the tattletale or the one that got tattled on. Problem solved. Next thing you know you'll be called out because you had GAMBLING going on which is illegal! If whiner says something to you, I'd let him know why he wasn't invited. If you decide to also not invite the one who got tattled on, I'd tell him because he couldn't hold his liquor and got tattled on.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 19, 2013 7:42:03 GMT -5
...:::"Next thing you know you'll be called out because you had GAMBLING going on which is illegal!":::...
Very perceptive and spot on. Hell, what is to stop the tattletale from mentioning that there was gambling at the last event? If the tattletale isn't invited, he'll have even more reason to ruin the fun. What does he have to lose?
If you want to get together, you'll probably have to go to a restaurant or sports bar or something. At least then, each person controls what he/she has and it isn't on you.
God forbid someone (the tattletale) gets "injured" at your house. Cha-ching!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2013 9:09:02 GMT -5
Thats a tough call MMC. People obviously enjoy themselves, and want to keep having fun. Unfortunately playing host puts a lot of risk and liability on you. God forbid you have to pay the price because some loser likes making a crusade out of nothing. Would the company have reacted the same way if neither party was on travel? Like, if the rat had tattled but nobody was actually on work time, would it still matter? I can see why companies are squeamish about this -- it costs them money to defend themselves against whiners who build mountains out of molehills. Too bad they can't put some of this energy towards their work. ETA: making it alcohol free won't solve anything. If these bickering children are motivated to torpedo each other, then they already know the rules and will find some technicality to raise heck with. HR got involved because the person was on travel. If the person wasn't on travel, the person who reported it wouldn't have gotten any satisfaction from management. I probably wouldn't have been talked to either. I was given the recommendation because I'm a manager and there is an unwritten rule apparently. I was asked if it was only company people there. It was implied if this was a mixed party, it would have been ok as it wouldn't have the appearance of a company event.
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