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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 21:48:34 GMT -5
I hold a twice a year poker game with most members of my team and some others from my work. It is always a great time. One member of the team went to management the next week complaining about the actions of another member of the team. That member is a remote worker who traveled into town for the week. This means he was under the business travel policy which includes actions after business hours. So today my boss comes into my office and shuts the door. She says "while you did nothing wrong.......now that you are in management you have to be careful hosting what could be considered company events by some." I'm not in trouble in any way, but this pretty much kills doing the event in the future.. The "offending" employee was also spoken to today and now he is fishing for who "ratted him out". Team morale is going to suck for a while after this.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 7, 2013 21:54:57 GMT -5
What was the "offending" employee's exact infraction?
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:01:41 GMT -5
What was the "offending" employee's exact infraction? I'm guessing some form of sexual harrassment.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:21:40 GMT -5
What was the "offending" employee's exact infraction? Excessive drunkenness and some offensive things he supposedly said. It wasn't sexual harassment for sure, but I wasn't told what exactly was said. He was knocked out of the game pretty early and this all happened in another room.. I did not provide any alcohol, but people were allowed to BYOD. This individual had way too many shots of the 20 year old whiskey another individual brought. As a host, I usually only care that people can safely get home. We are all adults 30-45 years old. The individual in question had a ride arranged back to his hotel from a non-drinker.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 7, 2013 22:35:36 GMT -5
As their manager, would you know if the two employees (the one who went to your manager and the other who had too much to drink) have had a bad relationship in the past? If yes, you might want to sit them down after everything settles down and have a one-on-one talk with them. You don't want this bad blood/hard feelings to spill over into the work place.
Maybe next time, there should be no booze. A shame to spoil what used to be a fun event.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:41:29 GMT -5
The whistle blower was a woman or minority and the offensive one was a white male probably around 30.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:42:36 GMT -5
And if you don't know what was said how do you know it wasn't sexual harrassment?
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:46:02 GMT -5
As their manager, would you know if the two employees (the one who went to your manager and the other who had too much to drink) have had a bad relationship in the past? If yes, you might want to sit them down after everything settles down and have a one-on-one talk with them. You don't want this bad blood/hard feelings to spill over into the work place. Maybe next time, there should be no booze. A shame to spoil what used to be a fun event. The 2 people in question are not my employees, we all report to the same manager. They are strictly engineers while I'm a managing engineer. They do have a history of animosity. There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. This is going to spill over into work tomorrow and I'll probably never host again. I'm the only one in the group with a house setup for hosting things like this, so it will probably completely die.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:47:23 GMT -5
And if you don't know what was said how do you know it wasn't sexual harrassment? While HR was notified, everything was handled my our manager. If it was sexual harassment, HR would have ran the show and the offender would probably be gone.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 7, 2013 22:48:12 GMT -5
that's unfortunate.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2013 22:48:32 GMT -5
The whistle blower was a woman or minority and the offensive one was a white male probably around 30. Whistle blower was white male in this 30's. Offender is minority male in his 30's.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on May 8, 2013 0:53:01 GMT -5
Or you could continue the fun and leave the tattle tale out of it. Unless you fear he will be told that he was left out. Then, yeah, you will have to find your own friends to have fun with outside of the office. Somebody ALWAYS has to ruin a good thing, I swear! And they wonder why nobody likes them or wants to be around them.
I could never work in today's environment. Too many whiny babies out there and too many rules and politics after work hours.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 6:04:00 GMT -5
The problem today is now we are all held hostage to the "perpetually offended". Certainly you can have a personal party at your home that has nothing to do with work. And, don't invite him. I would just plan a BBQ or something and perhaps a poker game will spontaneously break out. But, make sure you only invite people who are your truly your friends that you know.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 6:12:11 GMT -5
Or you could continue the fun and leave the tattle tale out of it. Unless you fear he will be told that he was left out. Then, yeah, you will have to find your own friends to have fun with outside of the office. Somebody ALWAYS has to ruin a good thing, I swear! And they wonder why nobody likes them or wants to be around them. I could never work in today's environment. Too many whiny babies out there and too many rules and politics after work hours. Reason 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 why I don't socialize with anybody I work with outside of work. The political correctness I can do during my regular 7-5, but after work I want/need to be able to relax, shoot the breeze without worrying about every sentence coming out of my mouth.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on May 8, 2013 6:38:17 GMT -5
The whistle blower was a woman or minority and the offensive one was a white male probably around 30. Amazing Later, you managed to insult almost everybody with one hugely erroneous assumption.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 7:31:06 GMT -5
Dang...that is crazy that work can control a person's actions after the work day.
I would definitely continue but not invite the whiny shit who complained. What kind of a man runs to HR like that?
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 7:37:25 GMT -5
The problem today is now we are all held hostage to the "perpetually offended". Certainly you can have a personal party at your home that has nothing to do with work. And, don't invite him. I would just plan a BBQ or something and perhaps a poker game will spontaneously break out. But, make sure you only invite people who are your truly your friends that you know. Except that the party is exactly a work party for the team. Sorry, if you have a work party you have to follow work rules. If your employees get drunk off their asses and start shouting that the Jews are evil someone may have a problem with that and it is not ok.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 8, 2013 7:37:54 GMT -5
Dang...that is crazy that work can control a person's actions after the work day. I would definitely continue but not invite the whiny shit who complained. What kind of a man runs to HR like that? I think it has to do with the one person being on travel status. We fired an auditor who killed a duck at a certain hotel and attempted to take it upstairs to eat while on travel status. Of course he also got arrested and threatened to get the cops fired.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 7:42:17 GMT -5
Dang...that is crazy that work can control a person's actions after the work day. I would definitely continue but not invite the whiny shit who complained. What kind of a man runs to HR like that? I think it has to do with the one person being on travel status. We fired an auditor who killed a duck at a certain hotel and attempted to take it upstairs to eat while on travel status. Of course he also got arrested and threatened to get the cops fired. Well damn, animal cruelty should be a firable offense. I'm still more troubled by the shit that complained to HR. Who the hell does that? I'd never look at that guy the same way again.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 7:44:11 GMT -5
The problem today is now we are all held hostage to the "perpetually offended". Certainly you can have a personal party at your home that has nothing to do with work. And, don't invite him. I would just plan a BBQ or something and perhaps a poker game will spontaneously break out. But, make sure you only invite people who are your truly your friends that you know. Except that the party is exactly a work party for the team. Sorry, if you have a work party you have to follow work rules. If your employees get drunk off their asses and start shouting that the Jews are evil someone may have a problem with that and it is not ok. I disagree. If I hold a function at my house I only invite the work people that I'm friends with. Once we are off the clock, we are friends. If someone got drunk and said something stupid, I would handle it but I would be damn well pissed off is another shit went and complained to HR. Again i ask, what kind of person goes to HR instead of handling it themselves? We aren't talking a situation where you have an underling an a supervisor. MMC said they were all essentially the same level.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 7:45:31 GMT -5
It is just some nebnose running to the boss to report someone else in an attempt to make himself look good.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 7:46:50 GMT -5
If you are off the clock, you are off the clock. If you aren't doing anything illegal what business is it of theirs? For some reason we allow employers to control our entire lives. Do you get the same privvy to what the boss is doing every weekend?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 7:47:26 GMT -5
Or you could continue the fun and leave the tattle tale out of it. Unless you fear he will be told that he was left out. Then, yeah, you will have to find your own friends to have fun with outside of the office. Somebody ALWAYS has to ruin a good thing, I swear! And they wonder why nobody likes them or wants to be around them. I could never work in today's environment. Too many whiny babies out there and too many rules and politics after work hours. why not continue on without the drunky? Frat days are over. Keep the drunky and drop the Nebnose nannies. High School is over.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 7:48:28 GMT -5
Except that the party is exactly a work party for the team. Sorry, if you have a work party you have to follow work rules. If your employees get drunk off their asses and start shouting that the Jews are evil someone may have a problem with that and it is not ok. I disagree. If I hold a function at my house I only invite the work people that I'm friends with. Once we are off the clock, we are friends. If someone got drunk and said something stupid, I would handle it but I would be damn well pissed off is another shit went and complained to HR. Again i ask, what kind of person goes to HR instead of handling it themselves? We aren't talking a situation where you have an underling an a supervisor. MMC said they were all essentially the same level. That is fine. But this was specifically a work party for the team, not just a bunch of friends getting together.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 8, 2013 7:50:46 GMT -5
I think it has to do with the one person being on travel status. We fired an auditor who killed a duck at a certain hotel and attempted to take it upstairs to eat while on travel status. Of course he also got arrested and threatened to get the cops fired. Well damn, animal cruelty should be a firable offense. I'm still more troubled by the shit that complained to HR. Who the hell does that? I'd never look at that guy the same way again. I agree that he's a wuss and causing trouble but that's how some people are these days. It sucks that one weasel ruins a good thing for everyone. I'm an adult, if something offends me at an event I've willing gone to, I can choose to leave. I don't need my employer's HR unit to deal with it for me. It sounds like the guy who complained was trying to get back at the other for past issues.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 7:51:50 GMT -5
I personally don't like forced socialization. I don't want to go to a work "party". No thanks. Just let work be work. I don't want to "party" with people from work.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 8, 2013 7:53:34 GMT -5
I personally don't like forced socialization. I don't want to go to a work "party". No thanks. Just let work be work. I don't want to "party" with people from work. I don't think MMC was forcing anyone to attend.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 8:10:29 GMT -5
The whistle blower was a woman or minority and the offensive one was a white male probably around 30. Amazing Later, you managed to insult almost everybody with one hugely erroneous assumption. So be insulted. But that has often been the power dynamic in a workplace. Women or minorities have often needed the support of management to address a bullying situation. For what it is worth I do not agree with characterizing the whistle blower as whiny. If management felt it was significant enough to address it not only with the culprit but also with MMC I believe it was sever enough to be reported. The one responsible for ruining everyone's good time is the drunk, offensive jerk.
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on May 8, 2013 8:28:48 GMT -5
The whistle blower was a woman or minority and the offensive one was a white male probably around 30. It was my intention to use the quote button rather than the thumbs up button. So if your notification came up 'thumbs up', it's not right. Why would you assume this? It could be construed as offensive.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 8:30:01 GMT -5
I disagree. If I hold a function at my house I only invite the work people that I'm friends with. Once we are off the clock, we are friends. If someone got drunk and said something stupid, I would handle it but I would be damn well pissed off is another shit went and complained to HR. Again i ask, what kind of person goes to HR instead of handling it themselves? We aren't talking a situation where you have an underling an a supervisor. MMC said they were all essentially the same level. That is fine. But this was specifically a work party for the team, not just a bunch of friends getting together. unless work was paying for it and every single person at the company was invited, it was not a work party.
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