Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 10:45:24 GMT -5
::3. I was not aware of a problem that night between anyone. I was in the poker game the entire time:: Hidden brag about being good at poker and not knocked out early like the others. Double hidden reason, I host to take their money...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 10:59:03 GMT -5
To clarify a few things: 1. The company does not consider it a work event, but my boss cautioned me about having things that could be looked on by some as work events 2. The individual was on travel and thus under a policy for conduct after hours 3. I was not aware of a problem that night between anyone. I was in the poker game the entire time 4. I do not favor one over the other. 5. The crowd was a mix of peers (like these guys), 2 of my direct reports, and 5 people from other teams. No one felt forced or expected to attend. 6. One of my best friends is a peer at work. She was there also that night. While some of you might have a no-friend policy with coworkers, I have never subscribed to that. That sucks that with just a handful of people there someone felt the need to narc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 11:28:22 GMT -5
To clarify a few things: 1. The company does not consider it a work event, but my boss cautioned me about having things that could be looked on by some as work events 2. The individual was on travel and thus under a policy for conduct after hours 3. I was not aware of a problem that night between anyone. I was in the poker game the entire time 4. I do not favor one over the other. 5. The crowd was a mix of peers (like these guys), 2 of my direct reports, and 5 people from other teams. No one felt forced or expected to attend. 6. One of my best friends is a peer at work. She was there also that night. While some of you might have a no-friend policy with coworkers, I have never subscribed to that. That sucks that with just a handful of people there someone felt the need to narc. 13 total people, 10 playing cards.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 8, 2013 11:34:54 GMT -5
I remembered being told that if I was traveling, and went out all by myself, got drunk and told someone where I worked, and they called my company and said I was drunk that I would be fired. When you travel, you are at work 24 hours a day, I guess.
So, make sure you are in the hotel room if you masturbate.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on May 8, 2013 11:36:26 GMT -5
So, make sure you are in the hotel room if you masturbate. Awww.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 12:07:01 GMT -5
LOL - Later was close. She just had it backwards. I think my picture of what happened is even worse and more stereotypical racist (and offensive) than it was with her scenario. I was just playing the odds. No one seemed to get bent out of shape when I thought it was sexual harrasment. That guess was playing the odds as well.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 8, 2013 12:28:25 GMT -5
LOL - Later was close. She just had it backwards. I think my picture of what happened is even worse and more stereotypical racist (and offensive) than it was with her scenario. I was just playing the odds. No one seemed to get bent out of shape when I thought it was sexual harrasment. That guess was playing the odds as well. Guessing sexual harassment wasn't being prejudiced against anyone though. It's the difference between saying "someone ran into my car today" and you guessing "rearended" vs you guessing "asian woman I bet".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 12:47:59 GMT -5
If you are in an area where 75% of the cars are hit by asian women it is a fair guess. I made my guess based on the circumstances and reactions and what I know of those situations. If others see it as a prejudiced comment I can live with that though.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 8, 2013 12:55:36 GMT -5
If you are in an area where 75% of the cars are hit by asian women it is a fair guess. I made my guess based on the circumstances and reactions and what I know of those situations. If others see it as a prejudiced comment I can live with that though. Fair enough, do you have statistics that indicate the significant majority of people who report to HR are reporting the actual incident you guessed, races and ages of the offender and offendee? If so I think there's an argument to be made that it's factually based, otherwise it's clearly prejudiced.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 13:04:57 GMT -5
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 13:07:10 GMT -5
There should be repurcussions if someone is a jerk...but not work-related repurcussions. This was not sponsored by the company so HR or company management should not get involved. HR and company mgmt thought differently. I guess I'm not a corporate player because the day I let management tell me what I can do in my own home on my own time is the day I hand in my resignation.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 13:09:56 GMT -5
I remembered being told that if I was traveling, and went out all by myself, got drunk and told someone where I worked, and they called my company and said I was drunk that I would be fired. When you travel, you are at work 24 hours a day, I guess. So, make sure you are in the hotel room if you masturbate. Fortunately, when I travel and get drunk I also get my boss smashed...then he can't fire me!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 13:11:50 GMT -5
I'm mostly in the camp of "I can't believe he complained to HR." That said, if the guy was crazy drunk and then did something really outlandish like tell the guy he was going to threaten a work project to make him look bad or something, I could see why the guy went to HR. You said they have a history of animosity, and the guy was really drunk. I don't know...I could see that there is a slight chance the reporting was valid. Regardless, I don't see why you have to cancel the party going forward. Just make sure you don't include either of the guys from this incident (traveling guy should be nixed because he gets loaded and acts like an ass on business trips). Get some guys from outside work (neighbors, whatever) to join in. That makes it a regular poker game, not a work function. The real mystery is that the manager did not tell MMC what the complaint was. The offending behavior happened in another room, and MMC doesn't know what it is, only that the offender was drinking heavily. And that there was no love lost between these two. Also - MMC is friendly with the offender. So - If you go to a coworker/managing coworker party, and a rival who you know the host is friends with is drunk and obnoxious, and does/says something that is, in the eyes of the company, reportable - what are your options? confront a drunken belligerent coworker who you have issues with, and yeah - drunks quiet right down when told they are out of line and offensive pull the host aside and tell him his friend is drunk and out of order, knowing he favors that person suck it up and forget it tell your manager I'd pick either 3 or 4, the first two aren't a recipe for a resolution and have the potential to put the complainer in a worst position - escalating the incident or having MMC tell his buddy, Joe Prissy complained about your behavior. And you are not protected from the fallout of whatever happens. Whether he should have just forgot it or reported - we don't even know what it was so no way for us to judge. Also - there is history of animosity. How many times has he sucked it up and moved on? Maybe this was just the thing that he could take that route anymore. These events are 2x a year - how many times has Joe Drunk crossed the line and MMC didn't know? From Drunkos perspective: He got sloppy drunk and crossed the line in front of coworkers/professional rivals who don't like him. How stupid can you get? If a co-worker got drunk and did something offensive towards me, I would either leave or put them in their place. I can't imagine EVER running into work and tattling. That is just lame and pathetic.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on May 8, 2013 13:30:20 GMT -5
'I guess I'm not a corporate player because the day I let management tell me what I can do in my own home on my own time is the day I hand in my resignation.'
A very long time ago I worked for a company that owned me body and soul for 13 years. Then I started seeing things happening and I wasn't a good 'associate' any more. They got rid of me about 6 months later. Offered a transfer to another city that DH and I couldn't do.
Never again. I will work hard for any employer as long as he paying me wages. When I clock out, I'm on my own time and friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 13:47:48 GMT -5
HR and company mgmt thought differently. I guess I'm not a corporate player because the day I let management tell me what I can do in my own home on my own time is the day I hand in my resignation. There are two issues here. One, my manager telling me I probably shouldn't be holding these type of events. I think it is an overreach on her part. I could make subtle changes that would probably satisfy the situation - such as inviting more outside the company people so it doesn't "look" like a company event. I'm not sure there is a point in trying though because there is going to be bad blood on the team. Second, the employee on business travel. We do have a very clear travel policy. Right or wrong it is the policy. If the employee gets drunk and wraps the rental car around a family of four, the company is going to get sued. The policy doesn't say you can't have a few drinks at the hotel bar, but there are provisions about excessive drinking and actions while drunk. If the employee turned in the rental car, checked out of the hotel, and stopped expensing meals, then the company travel would have ended and they would have been on their own.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 13:59:47 GMT -5
I guess I'm not a corporate player because the day I let management tell me what I can do in my own home on my own time is the day I hand in my resignation. There are two issues here. One, my manager telling me I probably shouldn't be holding these type of events. I think it is an overreach on her part. I could make subtle changes that would probably satisfy the situation - such as inviting more outside the company people so it doesn't "look" like a company event. I'm not sure there is a point in trying though because there is going to be bad blood on the team. Second, the employee on business travel. We do have a very clear travel policy. Right or wrong it is the policy. If the employee gets drunk and wraps the rental car around a family of four, the company is going to get sued. The policy doesn't say you can't have a few drinks at the hotel bar, but there are provisions about excessive drinking and actions while drunk. If the employee turned in the rental car, checked out of the hotel, and stopped expensing meals, then the company travel would have ended and they would have been on their own. ok, I see the point about company travel and the liability. So, if this were just two employees at your company with no travel involved, it wouldn't be an issue?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:08:37 GMT -5
If a co-worker got drunk and did something offensive towards me, I would either leave or put them in their place. I can't imagine EVER running into work and tattling. That is just lame and pathetic. Basically, anyone that does not share your abrasive personality is lame and pathetic. got it. If someone steps out of line, anyone who takes exception to that can address in any legal ethical way they deem appropriate. I really don't get vilifying the complainer, and giving a drunk belligerent ass a pass. Being unable to put someone drunk in their place is lame and pathetic. The only thing this guy can hang his hat on is the fact that the drunk guy was under the travel policy rules. If MMC just had a party at his house and a co-worker got drunk and acted like an ass, I cannot fathom how that is any business of the company. I will concede that since the guy was aware that he was under a travel policy and still acted inappropriately, then he is in the wrong...but the chicken shit that ran to management is also in the wrong. Geez, is everyone so touchy-feely that everything has to get reported to management? I wouldn't want to invite that guy to anything for fear that someone or something would offend his delicate senses.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 8, 2013 14:15:15 GMT -5
Sorry, but running to HR to complain about another coworker at a drinking party makes the complainer look like the one with the issue. HR and the Boss don't care about personal crap. The sooner most employees realize that and work out their own issues, the better off they will be and the farther they will actually rise in the company. Boss don't care about personal crap.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 14:17:19 GMT -5
LOL I'm guessing that guy wouldn't want to go to anything you hosted.
Seriously? I have never seen a drunk back down and fly straight no matter how brilliant the put down was. They just get more belligerent. And I waitressed in bars for over 10 years.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:26:59 GMT -5
LOL I'm guessing that guy wouldn't want to go to anything you hosted. Seriously? I have never seen a drunk back down and fly straight no matter how brilliant the put down was. They just get more belligerent. And I waitressed in bars for over 10 years. As I said earlier, I would have either A) Left or B) put this guy in his place. I NEVER would have run to management...I AM management and if one of my employees came whining to me because another co-worker got drunk and offended them off the clock I would tell them to stop going to parties with said offending party. I find the entire thing to be absolutely ludicrous. I don't babysit my staff when they are at work, I sure as shit am not going to babysit them outside of work.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:31:53 GMT -5
Why? Unlike yours, mine have alcohol...oh wait, the wendy whiner can go to your tea-totalling parties and the fun people can come to my house
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 8, 2013 14:33:15 GMT -5
and he can take the waaaaaahmbulance there.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:34:10 GMT -5
As I said earlier, I would have either A) Left or B) put this guy in his place. I NEVER would have run to management...I AM management and if one of my employees came whining to me because another co-worker got drunk and offended them off the clock I would tell them to stop going to parties with said offending party. I find the entire thing to be absolutely ludicrous. I don't babysit my staff when they are at work, I sure as shit am not going to babysit them outside of work. Well - since we don't know what even happened, what was said, or why/how is was brought to the managers attention, I really don't think we can make too many inferences on this. We don't even know what broad topic of "inappropriate" it is falling under. However, just because you - personally - would handle something in a particular manner, doesn't make that the right way to do it, or even the preferred method overall. My way my be abrasive but I can assure you, running and whining to management is never the preferred method.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:34:57 GMT -5
and he can take the waaaaaahmbulance there. He takes the whinebulance...I take the winebulance :-p
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2013 14:38:07 GMT -5
Why? Unlike yours, mine have alcohol...oh wait, the wendy whiner can go to your tea-totalling parties and the fun people can come to my house LMAO You can send both Wendy Whiner and the drunk. We'll have fun with both of them.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 8, 2013 14:38:37 GMT -5
This thread makes me so happy I don't hang with any co-workers.
I want to know what the guy said that was so bad.
I know someone who works at the school, and there have been problems with her and her dealings with the neighborhood kids, and it is awkward because you have a run-in with a teacher and leave the school, it all passes - but not if she lives next door!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 14:49:58 GMT -5
I think, in general, it is probably bad policy for management to have that attitude towards possible harassment if a lawsuit were to arise. Maybe an attorney could say. If you don't like co-workers when they are drunk, don't go to parties off-the-clock. If this were a company party, I would be 100% behind the fact that the guy was out-of-line. But he was on his own time, at a party thrown by a friend. I can be as big of an ass as I want when I'm not at work. I shouldn't be able to have my career hurt over it (assuming we are not talking about anything illegal....because a jackass isn't illegal)
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 8, 2013 14:54:17 GMT -5
::If this were a company party, I would be 100% behind the fact that the guy was out-of-line. But he was on his own time, at a party thrown by a friend. I can be as big of an ass as I want when I'm not at work. I shouldn't be able to have my career hurt over it (assuming we are not talking about anything illegal....because a jackass isn't illegal)::
Not everyone here was on their own time though. One person was on company time, and interacting with coworkers.
If this weren't the case, I'd agree with you.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 8, 2013 15:01:22 GMT -5
some co workers are jerks all the time, and it hasn't seemed to hurt their employment prospects.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 8, 2013 15:04:23 GMT -5
If you don't like co-workers when they are drunk, don't go to parties off-the-clock. If this were a company party, I would be 100% behind the fact that the guy was out-of-line. But he was on his own time, at a party thrown by a friend. I can be as big of an ass as I want when I'm not at work. I shouldn't be able to have my career hurt over it (assuming we are not talking about anything illegal....because a jackass isn't illegal) Really? You think you should be able to be as big of an ass as you want with co-workers over the weekend and it shouldn't be able to hurt your career? You can be a total jerk and you think there is no reason for management to hear of it? If I hang out with my co-workers off-the-clock as friends, then I absolutely do not think they have the right to run to management because I did something that offends their delicate senses. If one of my co-workers was a dick when he/she got drunk, I wouldn't hang out wtih them anymore. I certainly wouldn't try to ruin their career over it. maybe that is why I have no problem hanging out with co-workers as friends. I couldn't imagine letting anything that hapepned outside of work impact work. I might not be happy about something that happened outside of work but that is up to me to resolve with co-worker, not go runnign to management over it.
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