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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:14:27 GMT -5
And Carl, yes it would very much be my problem if dh died or rolled out. If he dies, You would get all the above plus your kids and you would get social security benefits. You know about those right? If he rolled out, then more reason for you to sharpen your skills and not have to depend on him. Also there is child support.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:15:14 GMT -5
Just because it says so on your state website does not make it true. sure MD says they offer all that but the reality is that the programs have long waiting lists or currently froze due to lack of funding. Now what? I posted a very real scenario. What should that mother do? Get herself a boy toy and send him off to work 70 hours a week? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angel2.png) I would remain single if I found myself, suddenly single. So now what? How could my salary support a family of three? Preferably without assistance since that is what the majority here preach.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:18:00 GMT -5
And Carl, yes it would very much be my problem if dh died or rolled out. If he dies, You would get all the above plus your kids and you would get social security benefits. You know about those right? If he rolled out, then more reason for you to sharpen your skills and not have to depend on him. Also there is child support. He is not a US citizen and only one child is his. He does not even think he qualifies for social security. We would get no benefits if he suddenly rolled out. And yes a friend, married 12 years recently had her husband disappear. Again, how would I support a family of three? The consensus around here is I am only worth minimum wage, so my recent salary of $34k annually being significantly higher then minimum wage should count for sharpened skills.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:18:33 GMT -5
Get herself a boy toy and send him off to work 70 hours a week? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angel2.png) I would remain single if I found myself, suddenly single. So now what? How could my salary support a family of three? Preferably without assistance since that is what the majority here preach. You don't even have a salary. You're living off of unemployment. 100% assistance already!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:18:53 GMT -5
In your case I would tell you to go and get a job as a claims adjuster. You would make a decent salary even though you'd hate your job. Mom's gotta do what Mom's gotta do, though. Your time of getting to what you want when you want to ended when you popped out the kiddos. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:19:49 GMT -5
Get herself a boy toy and send him off to work 70 hours a week? ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/angel2.png) I would remain single if I found myself, suddenly single. So now what? How could my salary support a family of three? Preferably without assistance since that is what the majority here preach. How about taking classes while you are unemployed? How about sharpening your skills so you can become a more desirable candidate? Some colleges have free daycare available. Financial aid? You don't have to always depend on a MAN or the government for that matter, you got options, you refuse to use them.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:20:59 GMT -5
If he dies, You would get all the above plus your kids and you would get social security benefits. You know about those right? If he rolled out, then more reason for you to sharpen your skills and not have to depend on him. Also there is child support. He is not a US citizen and only one child is his. He does not even think he qualifies for social security. Again, how would I support a family of three? The consensus around here is I am only worth minimum wage, so my recent salary of $34k annually being significantly higher then minimum wage should count for sharpened skills. Maybe your ex should get custody then. He makes a lot more.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:21:37 GMT -5
we are battling an attitude/mentality which in a lot of cases is multi-generational. I know for poor urban blacks there is an added element of the almost expectation to not do well for yourself - to the point of ridiculing/ostracising people who try. How do we fix that? and therein lies the problem - it's too complicated and touchy-feely for a quick fix, so throwing money at it is easier.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:25:28 GMT -5
In your case I would tell you to go and get a job as a claims adjuster. You would make a decent salary even though you'd hate your job. Mom's gotta do what Mom's gotta do, though. Your time of getting to what you want when you want to ended when you popped out the kiddos. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) That was a salary of $34k. Still not realistically supporting a family of three.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:27:07 GMT -5
How about sales, then? Again, you'd hate your job but you could make good money doing it.
ETA: And people have wanted to hire you for it in the past.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:27:34 GMT -5
In your case I would tell you to go and get a job as a claims adjuster. You would make a decent salary even though you'd hate your job. Mom's gotta do what Mom's gotta do, though. Your time of getting to what you want when you want to ended when you popped out the kiddos. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) That was a salary of $34k. Still not realistically supporting a family of three. There's also a Dad. He would have to help support them.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:28:03 GMT -5
He is not a US citizen and only one child is his. He does not even think he qualifies for social security. Again, how would I support a family of three? The consensus around here is I am only worth minimum wage, so my recent salary of $34k annually being significantly higher then minimum wage should count for sharpened skills. Maybe your ex should get custody then. He makes a lot more. What if ex does not want custody of kids? Most of the time the moms are left with the kids so that is the scenario you have to work with. I just want you all to see how it is not possible to do away with assistance completely.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:29:52 GMT -5
I never said we should do away with assistance. Figuring out how to curtail abuse of the system might be a good idea, though.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:30:08 GMT -5
That was a salary of $34k. Still not realistically supporting a family of three. There's also a Dad. He would have to help support them. Haha! Now your just being hilarious. Out of 10 of my single parent friends, only two even receive child support. All friends mentioned are Caucasian, so we don't make it a racial issue.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:32:42 GMT -5
There's also a Dad. He would have to help support them. Haha! Now your just being hilarious. Out of 10 of my single parent friends, only two even receive child support. All friends mentioned are Caucasian, so we don't make it a racial issue. Are you saying all fathers are bums? And no one said to stop support completely, but we are against creating more programs that would require more money that we don't have.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:32:51 GMT -5
There's also a Dad. He would have to help support them. Haha! Now your just being hilarious. Out of 10 of my single parent friends, only two even receive child support. All friends mentioned are Caucasian, so we don't make it a racial issue. Ok... Well in MN if you work, you pay child support as it's taken out of your paychecks. I didn't marry a deadbeat, so we don't go that route. He's never been so much as a day late in 8 years.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:34:45 GMT -5
I never said we should do away with assistance. Figuring out how to curtail abuse of the system might be a good idea, though. Abuse, at least in my state is rare. I fail to realize how people could give fraudulent information. Your tax forms, bank accounts, car registrations, utility bills, pay stubs are all used to verify eligibility. I personally believe daycare vouchers should be given to working parents before any cash assistance, which is definitely not the case in md since reduced daycare is currently froze. I have no idea what income or lack of income qualifies for cash assistance.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:36:44 GMT -5
I never said we should do away with assistance. Figuring out how to curtail abuse of the system might be a good idea, though. Abuse, at least in my state is rare. I fail to realize how people could give fraudulent information. Your tax forms, bank accounts, car registrations, utility bills, pay stubs are all used to verify eligibility. I personally believe daycare vouchers should be given to working parents before any cash assistance, which is definitely not the case in md since reduced daycare is currently froze. I have no idea what income or lack of income qualifies for cash assistance. So you AREN'T married then, huh? Because that is the ONLY way your kids would qualify for Medicaid.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:37:41 GMT -5
Haha! Now your just being hilarious. Out of 10 of my single parent friends, only two even receive child support. All friends mentioned are Caucasian, so we don't make it a racial issue. Ok... Well in MN if you work, you pay child support as it's taken out of your paychecks. I didn't marry a deadbeat, so we don't go that route. He's never been so much as a day late in 8 years. That may be your case, but I can guarantee if your ex did not want to pay support, he would not be paying support. Sad but true.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:39:05 GMT -5
Abuse, at least in my state is rare. I fail to realize how people could give fraudulent information. Your tax forms, bank accounts, car registrations, utility bills, pay stubs are all used to verify eligibility. I personally believe daycare vouchers should be given to working parents before any cash assistance, which is definitely not the case in md since reduced daycare is currently froze. I have no idea what income or lack of income qualifies for cash assistance. So you AREN'T married then, huh? Because that is the ONLY way your kids would qualify for Medicaid. I am. But I have friends that have been going through this for years. I am very familiar with how the system works.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 23, 2013 9:39:52 GMT -5
Ok... Well in MN if you work, you pay child support as it's taken out of your paychecks. I didn't marry a deadbeat, so we don't go that route. He's never been so much as a day late in 8 years. That may be your case, but I can guarantee if your ex did not want to pay support, he would not be paying support. Sad but true. And then they go to jail..
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:40:45 GMT -5
Would you please tell us, then, how your kids qualified for Medicaid coverage while you and your "DH" were both working? ETA: guessing this question is getting me "doxblocked" ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png)
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 23, 2013 9:41:26 GMT -5
I never said we should do away with assistance. Figuring out how to curtail abuse of the system might be a good idea, though. Abuse, at least in my state is rare. I fail to realize how people could give fraudulent information. Your tax forms, bank accounts, car registrations, utility bills, pay stubs are all used to verify eligibility. I personally believe daycare vouchers should be given to working parents before any cash assistance, which is definitely not the case in md since reduced daycare is currently froze. I have no idea what income or lack of income qualifies for cash assistance. You cant possibly be this naive...abuse is huge. There are two way I have personally seen people do to abuse the system. The first is have their boyfriend move in and support them, but claim they live alone. The second is by working under the table for cash.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:43:06 GMT -5
Ok... Well in MN if you work, you pay child support as it's taken out of your paychecks. I didn't marry a deadbeat, so we don't go that route. He's never been so much as a day late in 8 years. That may be your case, but I can guarantee if your ex did not want to pay support, he would not be paying support. Sad but true. Uh...yeah. I guess. He could quit his 6 figure salary a year job to avoid wage garnishment of $500/check, but he's not a moron. Also, I'll reiterate. I did not marry a deadbeat. He loves his son and wants to take care of him.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:45:14 GMT -5
My wife's cousin married a deadbeat and they had a kid together. She finally divorced his ass. She never got a penny of support from him and she had his legal rights as a parent taken away.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:45:40 GMT -5
Doxie is you cousin??!?! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/faint.gif)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:46:50 GMT -5
Doxie is you cousin??!?! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/faint.gif) Anything is possible on the interwebz.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:48:38 GMT -5
Would you please tell us, then, how your kids qualified for Medicaid coverage while you and your "DH" were both working? ETA: guessing this question is getting me "doxblocked" ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png) We had no other coverage. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Apr 23, 2013 9:50:47 GMT -5
My wife's cousin married a deadbeat and they had a kid together. She finally divorced his ass. She never got a penny of support from him and she had his legal rights as a parent taken away. This is my case as well. So legally my daughter has no father. No one to split support with. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2013 9:50:58 GMT -5
If I divorced current husband, I would have to have his wages garnished. He's too spacey with paying anything and he would be the vindictive angry type. He'd also want custody.
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