Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:43:33 GMT -5
I wish Mumsy and Dadsy had sent me to a boarding school in France. (Yes, in HS I developed enough proficiency that I could have done school in French the last 2 years.) I would have been in heaven. I might not have come back.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 5, 2013 13:47:11 GMT -5
There seems to be two different types of boarding schools - one for kids who are having a bit of trouble in their current situation, and one for kids who are particularly gifted in some area (academic or physical/sports.) My decision making process would be completely different for each of those situations.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 13:51:55 GMT -5
I don't buy it. Quantity and quality are too different things. Kid need quality AND quantity. Just being in the home with my kids while i am doing laundry is "being there". Not if the kids are parked in front of the TV or computer, which is precicely what happens to a lot of kids. either I'm playing with my kid 24/7 or meals don't get made and the house goes to shit. So when DH isn't home and I have to get things done, what else can I do?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 5, 2013 13:57:56 GMT -5
LOL - I didn't do any chores for 2 days this week. And after that someone posted one of those "You will always remember spending time with your children, and 20 years from now you won't care if the dishes are done" crap on Facebook. My DH came home and he and I were freaking out with massive anxiety because the entire house was a disaster. There were flies in the kitchen circling our dirty dishes, no clean laundry, cat barf on the floor, you couldn't even walk through the living room because of all the stuff that hadn't been put away. There was no clean table to sit down and eat a bowl of cereal and I said "F***k that F****cker that told me to let the dishes go! Are they the same assholes that are going to call CPS on me?!" [/span]
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 5, 2013 14:00:46 GMT -5
There is dog barf still on the sunroom carpet. Stupid dog puked right as I was leaving for work and of course it had to be on the carpet instead of the kitchen floor which is linolieum. Didn't have the proper stuff to clean it up in that short of time frame so I picked up the worst of it and plan to get some resolve tomorrow. If I had stayed to do my duty as a housewife I would have been the type of employee YM loves to hate. You can't win.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Apr 5, 2013 14:04:36 GMT -5
I totally prioritized the dishes over DS two nights this week. I spend all night with the baby 2" away from me. I just wanted some mindless space and fuss with DS over picking up his toys, brushing his teeth, changing his diaper, picking out pajamas and reading/laying down with him. After the second night, I felt bad. But not too bad. I just get itchy and bitchy if the house is too much of a wreck.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:06:14 GMT -5
LOL - I didn't do any chores for 2 days this week. And after that someone posted one of those "You will always remember spending time with your children, and 20 years from now you won't care if the dishes are done" crap on Facebook. My DH came home and he and I were freaking out with massive anxiety because the entire house was a disaster. There were flies in the kitchen circling our dirty dishes, no clean laundry, cat barf on the floor, you couldn't even walk through the living room because of all the stuff that hadn't been put away. There was no clean table to sit down and eat a bowl of cereal and I said "F***k that F****cker that told me to let the dishes go! Are they the same assholes that are going to call CPS on me?!" [/span][/quote] LMAO! I HATE cleaning, but piles of dishes, food/crumbs everywhere, dirty laundry piles, and dirty bathrooms make me anxious. My house currently has 3 of the 4 ailments I listed and it makes me not want to be home. IMO if I'm not happy to be in my house, DS can pick up on that. We are all happier if Mommy's not anxious.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 5, 2013 14:08:18 GMT -5
Same with me. And when I'm feeling stressed and anxious that makes me not a good mom. Sometimes I have to put some Sesame Street on for the kids and tidy up a bit.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 5, 2013 14:11:29 GMT -5
Luckily my husband said "This is so bad, even I can't stand it." He cleaned the kitchen - all the dishes, ran the dishwasher, cleaned the table and the counters, put everything away, took out the trash. I cleaned the rest of the house - at least getting everything somewhere. It only took 45 minutes or so to be "relieved." We did it after bed time so the kids didn't get ignored. And then, we drank.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 14:12:34 GMT -5
although DH did vacuum the couch and the rug in front of it after DS decided he wanted to break a cracker into 5 pieces while sitting on the couch. I mean he does help out, but when both of us work a full day, we do our best but we definitely aren't playing with DS every second after we get home.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 5, 2013 14:13:57 GMT -5
I hope you washed your wine glasses and threw out the bottle when you were done drinking.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Apr 5, 2013 14:20:56 GMT -5
I hope you washed your wine glasses and threw out the bottle when you were done drinking. I hope they just drank from the bottle so at to not create more dishes!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 5, 2013 16:44:37 GMT -5
I don't buy it. Quantity and quality are too different things. Kid need quality AND quantity. Just being in the home with my kids while i am doing laundry is "being there". Not if the kids are parked in front of the TV or computer, which is precicely what happens to a lot of kids. So what? You don't think they are parked in front of the computer or TV at boarding school too? LOL!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 16:55:31 GMT -5
I don't buy it. Quantity and quality are too different things. Kid need quality AND quantity. Just being in the home with my kids while i am doing laundry is "being there". You are always in the distant of reachable if they need you for any reason. I understand of what you are saying. Shooby. Have a great Weekend!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 5, 2013 16:58:17 GMT -5
And, sometimes some very important moments happen when you are with your children doing "nothing". Sometimes you are just there and available when they need to talk. I really think having my child living in a boarding school would change the relationship in a way i wouldn't like for either one of us.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2013 17:21:18 GMT -5
And, sometimes some very important moments happen when you are with your children doing "nothing". Sometimes you are just there and available when they need to talk. I really think having my child living in a boarding school would change the relationship in a way i wouldn't like for either one of us. I wouldn't do it for any reason other than my children's best interest's in my heart! You and I, have been very lucky we don't have to deals with that situation. When I looks back of my relationship with my Mom it kind of make me sad that we never quite understood of each other's wants and need.....But it's all in the past.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 6, 2013 15:13:33 GMT -5
Sometimes??
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 6, 2013 15:16:39 GMT -5
Yes and the rest of you are just a fountain of wisdom and knowledge who only speak when spoken too!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2013 15:27:30 GMT -5
Just heard from DS last night. Yes, the one I mercilessly hustled off to military school. He's 28 now, owns a house and has just kicked out his 2 tenants before the lovely young woman he's marrying in 3 weeks moves in. He wonders if it's normal to be worried abut her when she's not with him. If he texts her and she doesn't get back to him he worries that she's in an accident or was kidnapped by aliens. And yes, they've talked about it and she knows it's because he loves her and can't imagine life without her and not because he thinks she's out cruising around and looking for a better deal. I told him those fears come with the territory when you love someone that much. In fact, I told him, it would probably hit him a lot harder to lose her than to lose me right now There was stunned silence and he said, "Mom, I'm glad you understand that". I told him that of course I did- she's his future.
If you let go a little, you raise kids who are free to form other loving relationships. And I hope I get grandchildren as soon as respectably possible!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 6, 2013 16:08:30 GMT -5
I don't have to send my kid to boarding school in order to "let go".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2013 17:35:27 GMT -5
And I never said, or even implied, that sending a kid to boarding school was a necessary requirement for letting go.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 6, 2013 18:23:32 GMT -5
[/span][/quote] I HATE HATE HATE HATE those type of postings. Somehow, half of my FB feed is like that. Yeah, I get it - we should be spending time with our children, but WTF with no cleaning and no laundry and no other responsibilities Do I REALLY want to teach my kids that it's OK to just play all day and not do anything else? Yeah, I am sure that in 20 yrs my kids are not going to care that they got food poisoning from old food that was left on their plates bc I never washed the dishes. Or that no one wanted to play with them bc their clothes smelled like poop bc I never did laundry. Has anyone heard the word moderation or has it been COMPLETELY gone from our lexicon ?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 6, 2013 19:22:01 GMT -5
How about engaging kids to do chores with you? I find that they are better behaved, more appreciative and the house functions a lot better when EVERYONE has responsibility in it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 6, 2013 19:41:20 GMT -5
It's kind of hard to engage an 18 month old in chores.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Apr 6, 2013 20:44:01 GMT -5
It's kind of hard to engage an 18 month old in chores. I can get my 20 month old to somewhat happen, but not with everything. She likes to shut the dryer door, but she can't fold clothes at all. She does try to help hang her clothes though, which she didn't before. With dishes, there is no way she can help put them away as they are kept out of her reach. She's not potty-trained yet so it makes so sense to get her help to clean the toilets. She like to use the carpet sweeper, which does help. She also likes to use a small broom, but she's not good at doing small piles that need to be put in the dustpan. There's no way I can get her help cleaning the bathrooms due the fumes of the cleaning products. When she gets old, she will help around the house, but there's only so much a 20 month old can do. Sometimes her "help" creates more work.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Apr 6, 2013 21:01:18 GMT -5
*sigh* what a slacker. You should beat her more til she learns
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 6, 2013 21:59:38 GMT -5
Ds loved to help dust when was about that age. Our babysitter used that to get his attention if he was distracted.
Not saying it saved much time, but kept him occupied.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2013 6:20:06 GMT -5
If I had a child that wasn't doing that well in the home situation and/or school situation, that's exactly what I'd do and I wanted to. Even DD agrees that would have been best for her. They don't sit in front of a computer for hours at a boarding school. They do healthy activities and have monitored study hours as well as lights out. I think DD would have had a better HS experience and it would have made her a better person. She's okay now and getting somewhat better but it's been ten years of crap in the making. No need to have wasted that ten years. Plus, our relationship, due to her BS is not what it should be. That BS never needed to be an issue.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 7, 2013 7:58:58 GMT -5
It's kind of hard to engage an 18 month old in chores. I didn't say they could do chores like a 40 yr. But, in my experience kids like to help. There are little things that they can start to do .
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2013 9:00:46 GMT -5
Ds loved to help dust when was about that age. Our babysitter used that to get his attention if he was distracted. Not saying it saved much time, but kept him occupied. I did the same thing when mine were little. Shit had to get done so I included the kids in the chores. For example, my oldest had her little broom and dust pan so when I was using the central vac to clean the tile, she would be next to me sweeping. It was cute, allowed me to get my chores done and keep an eye on her at the same time. She also dusted next to me, etc. Of course, it wasn't like she was actually "cleaning" but it made her feel like mommy's little helper and let me get stuff done without worrying what the hell she was into!lol
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