ambellamy
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Post by ambellamy on Dec 28, 2013 22:19:19 GMT -5
Im sorry to hear about everyones holiday dramas... hope things turn around.
Im mini celebrating right now. Im in utah visiting family and before we left california i was able to not only clean our entire condo so we will come home to perfection (minus the living room) but the day right after Christmas I was able to actually take down all the christmas decorations and put them away... purge some we won't be keeping.... get all the trash out of my car, pack, do a bit more for our annual purge..... and still get the car brought in for its oil change all pre trip.
Now coming home in a few days won't be so chaotic!
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Dec 28, 2013 23:47:36 GMT -5
ug... I need to stop thinking of projects to do! Just today in the living room I have arbitrarily decided that I need to paint my grandma's mirror white and add some silver detailing. Oh and I should build a shelf with the leftover wood for behind the couch. Let's also paint the tile around the fire place! And get some lamps for the couch shelf... I should really know better than to plan a bunch of these projects! Also, I want to build in some shelves in the office closet for file boxes, install the lights in the guest room closet, sand and re-stain the kitchen table, really these projects are never ending! miz- I'll start the thread on Wed I have some plans for the new year and the new thread!
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Dec 29, 2013 3:36:51 GMT -5
Advice needed (kinda long so feel free to skip )So, one last family story from the holiday because I'm hoping y'all have some ideas on how to handle this. My oldest dog is a big lab, 80 pounds, 8 years old, getting a little slower but still very strong. He has been pretty healthy and with the exception of getting bit on a walk and having a small growth removed when he was a year old, he only goes into the vet for shots. He's very strong though and protective and obeys nobody but me My Dad is always trying to "train" him for some reason, even though I spent several hundred dollars when he was a puppy on training because again he's big and very protective of me so I have to have control. It's pretty much worked too, he's never bitten anyone maliciously (I think once he got his foot caught and snapped at my mom) and never bit another dog even when we were attacked and a little dog bit him in the eyelid. There's no reason for him to do tricks or additional training but again, my dad wants to train him every time the dog is over which is maybe once every few months or for longer visits when I travel. When I was at their house on Thursday we were taking my mom out for her birthday. Dad tried to get the dog to shake. Now the dog will put his paw up when you're petting him, more as a " yes I like that human, keep doing that" gesture. Dad grabs his paw and begins to squeeze/shake it. Almost immediately the dog whines and pulls back. My dad then tells me "he has a bad paw!" and tries to grab for it again. Now before I go and sound like a heartless female dog, I know his paws are fine. I know this because I bathe him and brush him and pet him every day. He lets me inspect his paws and they're fine - his nails are fine, he's very healthy. Sometimes he walks stiffly when getting up or walking first thing in the morning or when it's cold but he's 8 years old and that's bound to happen. The only time he's ever held his paw up in a weird way was when a toe nail got caught in his collar once. I tell my dad that the dog is fine, please don't manhandle him. Because I know that's what the dog was responding to - he doesn't like to have his paws squeezed, just like he doesn't like his tail pulled. Almost immediately my dad goes to grab his paw again and I... not exactly yelled but said very, very firmly to keep his hands off. It's getting to the point that I don't want to bring the dogs over at all and especially hate leaving them there. The last thing I want is for the dog to bite because someone is hurting is paw or my dad to insist on expensive vet treatments for my pet. This might be a question y'all with kids can help with if you've dealt with your parents acting this way around kids... is there a good way to bring up "trust me with my dog and don't grab his paws" with my dad OR if I choose to board him from now on how do I explain it to my parents when they inevitably ask? (I will mention that my mom loves having the dogs there, my concern is not just this training thing my dad tries all the time but also that their patio is rotting with boards cracked and nails coming out, their fence is wobbly and needed to be replaced 10 years ago, my dad once left out an open container of anti-freeze... it's honestly a hoarder's backyard and the dogs stay outside all day when they're there.)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2013 7:21:06 GMT -5
Glad everybody's done with their celebrations. Sheila maybe you can ship me your brother and I can ship you DD? LOL
Very bummed. Last night the guy from DD's school wrote to me on FB and said he was very interested in having DD sublet. Then this morning he wrote that he was committed to an agency that has found him a renter and he was upset because he would have preferred DD. I'm guessing he thought he could get out of the agency deal but someone (his parents probably) told him he couldn't. I gave him my number in case something changes.
My friend with the 3BR house whose two grad school daughters still live there told me they already have a roommate. She is going to ask them if they want another one (there is a 4th bedroom in the attic) but she told me not to count on it.
DD refuses to refriend me on FB so I can't see her school FB page anymore.
She has been charming but I still want her out. DH is wavering, I'm not. But the reality is that I won't just pack her bags and toss her out, and she doesn't seem to be looking, because she doesn't want to move out. DH is telling me to leave it for six more months till she graduates, at which point I know she will leave on her own.
It is very hard to find sublets here, they go within the day, literally. DS2 gave me some FB links and any affordable place has 20-30 people interested within a few hours. And I do NOT want to spend my next week off running around Paris trying to grab one for her.
Looking forward to a new year, and a new thread. Trying to think about goals for the new year, since the house is pretty much in order. I can't do anything about DH's stuff in the basement nor his books, but at least everything is neat and clean now.
We'd love to reno the kitchen, but that is financially out of the question. It is literally falling apart.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Dec 29, 2013 9:32:38 GMT -5
Startsmart, I too have a dog that's getting older. And there's no magic age when arthritis might begin to set in. I suspect your dog may have this, & your Dad firmly grasping his paw probably hurts. I'm thinking you need to keep your dog away from your Dad. Sadly, older parents get very set in their ways, just like a child who doesn't listen to the word "No!" I'm with you that your Dad might eventually get bitten, even though your dog isn't a mean dog.
Debt, so sorry you're dealing with all of this mess with your DD. Your DH might be caving, but you don't have to. If you find her a place, just hand her the key & pack her bags. I know, it's "tough love", but I think your DD needs more time away from home to appreciate you. (BTW, I think you're an AWESOME Mom.)
The temperatures dropped big time here. It's freezing cold, but we'll still go to church. I'll spend the rest of the day dealing with the house. At least when it's cold, we're not motivated to go anywhere. (Although I will have to drop DD off at work.)
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ambellamy
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Post by ambellamy on Dec 29, 2013 11:37:50 GMT -5
I didn't get an invitation... I just popped on in... but then again that's just me. but I think she said she would start a new tread on Wednesday.
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Dec 29, 2013 12:10:50 GMT -5
Well, the instructor has locked the last 2 quizzes for now. He says it's because people aren't doing their work. I have a 98.22% in his class right now after 4 assignments.
Start- I have only had experience with dogs really once, but we have a big problem when I am entrusted with the care of a child and other adults try to usurp my authority. R, being a young mom had this problem also- she finally had to put her foot down and say "My kid (dog), my rules."
I have a huge to-do list for this week. I will post later, but right now am waiting for Mom to get home- and it's raining cats and dogs here
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2013 12:54:37 GMT -5
If you find her a place, just hand her the key & pack her bags.
- if she isn't looking - I guess it's a question of how much work you want to put into the thing - if in fact - she will do it in 6 months?
Busy, Rukh, I AM still looking on those FB groups. I have left a couple of messages, but as I said, within hours there are dozens of responses. But you are right, Rukh, if I don't find a place, she's unlikely to. And yes I am sure she will leave in 6 months, she hates it here (Paris and home) so once she is done with school she will want to leave Paris.
Rukh the cabinets are falling apart (they are over 30 years old) but the kitchen is still fully functional, and we'd much rather wait and gut it, if and when that ever happens. If I won the lottery I'd do it in a flash, but without a lottery win, it's not feasible now. But everything works.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Dec 29, 2013 14:20:28 GMT -5
Ambellamy, you don't need an invitation. Just post & let us know what you're working on.
Debt, sending more <HUGS> your way!
My project right now is cleaning up the desk area around my computer. Everyone dumps their stuff here, so you can imagine what it looks like...
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constanz22
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Post by constanz22 on Dec 29, 2013 15:07:31 GMT -5
I planned on doing absolutely nothing today and have pretty much succeeded. I ran to the store quick this morning for a few things. I finished picking up stuff in the kitchen from last nights get together, unloaded and started to reload the dishwasher. Then I decided to take the tree down. It's a small table top one and took all of 30 seconds, so, that's done. I took one tub of holiday stuff down the the storage area downstairs. I only work 2 days this week, then am off for FIVE days. I CAN NOT WAIT! I am planning one day (Thursday) to go run all of my errands in town, a ton of returns (am hoping most people will have done theirs by then, and/or will be working, and so I can go to Weight Watchers that afternoon. So far, I am failing miserably at it . I just can't get motivated again.
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perhaps
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Post by perhaps on Dec 29, 2013 15:56:44 GMT -5
Wow got a lot accomplished today. Changed sheets on both of the beds and washed the sheets. I have done 4 loads of laundry, all put away. Cleaned the hall closet. It tends to become a dumping ground. It is right off the kitchen on the way out to the garage and just manages to get filled with stuff. I cleaned off the desk off the living room. DD (8) uses this as her desk and it just gets cluttered with papers and projects. Pretty much I bring in the recycle bin and all of the papers. I cleaned and organized the drawers as well.
Oh and I bathed the dog. We got her 3 weeks ago. She is a rescue from the local animal shelter. She is about 4 years old and is a schnoodle, dh is allergic to dogs with fur. She is a snuggler and keeps pawing me to pet her. It took way too long to type this......lol.
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Dec 29, 2013 16:06:57 GMT -5
thanks all for the suggestions for my dad, I think distance is the solution which is the primary reason I'm dedicated to moving in the next year. 70 miles is just too close. There really is no reasoning with my dad (he's an engineer and thus, in his mind, smarter than everyone) and just so stubborn. Couldn't sleep last night and ended up staying up until about 5am reading ebooks and watching Hoarders. It got me thinking more about my parents (and my own to do list!) and this old episode of House where the patient had OCD and hoarded memories and how it made her miserable. In some ways it's like my dad hoards his pride and holds his opinion above all others. It's honestly exhausting to be around! But enough about them - one of the lessons Hoarders always teaches me is there's a time to step back and focus on your own life! The original weekend list is down to 2 items:replace the couch cover and pillow covers go through all of my magazines to donate/recycle/keeprealistically I need to add:pick up rocks in the garage that spilled finish putting away christmas decorre-make my bed go through place mats to donate put away clean laundry sweep the hallway
I'll try to get at least the couch set up again, I'm literally sitting next to the couch cover, just need to move the dogs off first
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constanz22
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Post by constanz22 on Dec 29, 2013 18:26:33 GMT -5
Oh, I forgot, when I was refilling the dog food canister, I cleaned off an entire shelf of old jello boxes. Some had 2011 use by date, and many had NO use by date, so, I knew they were old and checked them all. It was about 10-15 boxes.
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Dec 30, 2013 0:53:48 GMT -5
Start - The first thing that popped into my head is to kennel the lab (for his comfort and safety) and take the 2 little ones with you to your parents house. Your mom will be happy to have the little ones but you dad won't be able to get his (crazy) hands on your lab. One downside would be the possibility of your lab getting lonely if he's used to being with his siblings 24/7.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Dec 30, 2013 1:41:14 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am disorganized clutterer.
What now?
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kjto1
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Post by kjto1 on Dec 30, 2013 1:42:49 GMT -5
Welcome, Sarah! What do you want to accomplish? What is holding you back?
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Dec 30, 2013 3:30:14 GMT -5
DD refuses to refriend me on FB so I can't see her school FB page anymore. She has been charming but I still want her out. DH is wavering, I'm not. But the reality is that I won't just pack her bags and toss her out, and she doesn't seem to be looking, because she doesn't want to move out. DH is telling me to leave it for six more months till she graduates, at which point I know she will leave on her own. It is very hard to find sublets here, they go within the day, literally. DS2 gave me some FB links and any affordable place has 20-30 people interested within a few hours. And I do NOT want to spend my next week off running around Paris trying to grab one for her. Debt, I am sorry to read the troubles your DD has put you through over the holidays. Unlike some others I do not think that you should let her stay for the remaining six months. The fact that she is at the same time being charming and refusing to refriend you on the school's FB website strikes me as very manipulative. To be honest I don't know whether I would be able to follow though with my own advice since I never had to face a situation like this (and my heart breaks for the fact that you have to) but I have seen something like this with the adult son of one of my friends. Only now, at age 46, are they saying enough is enough and they have finally told him that he is no longer welcome whenever he can't/ won't behave as a considerate adult. In his case this is exacerbated by a drinking problem, but the abuse was there long before the bottle. So, even if it means that you will have to sped your next few weeks running around for a place for DD, it may ultimately for the best for your long term relationship. Again, even though I truly believe that going through with this would be best in the long run, I am not sure I would have the strength for it so no judging from me either way
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Dec 30, 2013 3:33:45 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am disorganized clutterer.
What now? Now you have a choice to either join me and still be a procrastinator or get totally into decluttering. I do get occasionally inspired to not just read and have gotten rid of a few hundred items this last year (not made much of a dent just yet, but a start has been made)
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Dec 30, 2013 8:50:11 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am disorganized clutterer.
What now? Hello Sarah. I'm an off an on again poster to this thread - but I always read it and I highly reccomend making lists. Also, maybe pick the one area or type of clutter that is bothering you the most and attack that first. If you share some more specifics of your clutter problems - you'll be sure to get some better - more specific advice. Good luck. As for me, I took a small load to Goodwill the other day with 29 tops and 7 pairs of shoes - mostly high heels in very good condition. I just don't wear them anymore - it was ridiculous for me to let them take up space in my closet. Sadly, It's taken me a while to realize I don't wear them or I wouldn't have bought those last 7 pairs. I want to take one more (probably small) load to Goodwill before I go back to work next week - I should be able to find more clothes and a few books at least.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 30, 2013 9:37:21 GMT -5
welcome Sarah- As other's have said lists can be your best friend. Personally I like to just pick a spot and start. Follow the advice of some of the blogs. Make a box each for Keep, Donate and Toss and get started. Clean the obvious clutter first (like kitchen table or island) so as you pull out new stuff to be sorted it doesn't get mixed in with your everyday stuff.
Set goals for yourself.- realistic ones. One drawer per night? One closet per week? One room per month? Whatever best fits your goals. Once the "Donate" box is full bring it straight to the donation place of your choice. Empty the Toss box straight into the garbage can often so that is out of the house.
Say No to new clutter!!!! This is the time of year that those around you will start decluttering too and a favorite method is to pawn their stuff off on a relative, friend, neighbor, etc. If it's not something you actually need just say No Thank You (and then turn it around and offer some of your stuff to them )
Don't be overwhelmed that we are so many pages in. Startsmart will start a new thread for 2014 on Wednesday.
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Dec 30, 2013 9:57:11 GMT -5
debt- If you are payin gfor school, and she is living in your house- then she should be playing by your rules- and I know that where I am going to school, parents have access to their kids stuff if they are A) Under 18 or B) the parent is paying for it
Have to go get a new debit card thanks to target, run to the library, and a few other errands....
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Dec 30, 2013 10:58:04 GMT -5
Debt - perhaps start saving up cardboard boxes in noticeable places in hopes that she starts to face the fact that you're just blowing smoke. The weather is always great in Denial. Always sunny and 80*. I should know - I've been there often.
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Dec 30, 2013 11:26:12 GMT -5
I've been up and at 'em since o'dark 30 this morning. I've even had a cup of coffee, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I think it's carry over from my super productivity this weekend. I nearly emptied out our entire laundry room (which is like a walk-in pantry), cleaned all the cabinets, purged a bunch of stuff (100+? items), reorganized what I was keeping and now, not only does everything fit, but I was able to put in more things that belong in there, AND there is still a little bit more room! Lastly, I need to re-hang the doors, but that's really simple because they're the kind that just slide along in a track. No tools needed.
After that project, I was in the purging mood so I emptied, purged, and re-organized every drawer in my dresser, 10+ storage cubes that I keep folded clothes in, and my long-sleeved tops. While cleaning the house before Christmas we broke down and recycled every cardboard box except one huge one. I filled it up with things to donate but now I can't lift it so I need to change my strategy. Since I won't be able to drop them off at our local charity thrift shop until January 2nd, can it count them for my 2014 numbers?
Oh yea, and another great thing. DH was sick on the couch all weekend watching me do all this decluttering but he brought out his sock drawer and ended up donating about 25 pairs! Although we are all fortunate to be able to purchase new socks for ourselves, trust me when I say men's socks (even used) are a hot commodity at the thrift store.
All this talk about productivity is getting me recharged to do more this morning. (I swear, there was only coffee in my coffee this morning!)
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Dec 30, 2013 12:05:40 GMT -5
"Since I won't be able to drop them off at our local charity thrift shop until January 2nd, can it count them for my 2014 numbers? " I was just going to ask that question! Or is that cheating? I went through three of my dresser drawers last night and purged some stuff I don't ever wear, including socks. I don't see me getting to the rescue mission before the new year. I am having Christmas with my in-laws tomorrow night (apparently I was the only one who has to work) so I am expecting more stuff that I can donate . In November, the doc upped my thyroid meds and ever since I have had so much energy. I feel weird, like I can't sit still. I have a hard time stopping myself from doing stuff at night and just go to bed.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 30, 2013 12:12:43 GMT -5
The way I see it- so long as you don't double count them (count them in 2013 and 2014) I don't see it as cheating. If they physically leave your home after 12:01 am on January 1st than they can count as 2014 items.
nuttin- I felt bad but my mom gave me another Christmas Platter thingy that went straight into the goodwill box. As in- I unwrapped it at her house, thanked her and when I got home it went straight into the donation box sitting by the door. I love my mom but I don't need anymore of that crap.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Dec 30, 2013 12:27:36 GMT -5
My mother in law and I have very different tastes. And she insists on buying me clothes every year that never see the light of day. They will not be long in our apartment.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Dec 30, 2013 12:49:47 GMT -5
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am disorganized clutterer.
What now? Sarah, first of all, join us here!
Secondly, start small. Is there something little you can clean out? Maybe a drawer that's bugging you? Baby steps if you're just getting started. I sort my stuff into 4 categories: keep, sell, donate, throw.
I joined up here in 2013. I still have plenty to go through, but I'm very happy with what I've gotten rid of so far...
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Dec 30, 2013 12:58:17 GMT -5
Nuttin - A) I'm secretly jealous of your upped thyroid meds working well for you. I got mine upped recently and I haven't noticed much difference. Hmmm, maybe I'm just lazy?
B) The way I look at it, there is a distinct possibility that although I have decided that I no longer need all those boxed up items, those items may just end up getting relocated to the garage for God-knows how may days-weeks-month-years. And since the thrift store won't be open until 2014, that's technically when they'd be out of the house. But of course, if I was that many items away from my purging goal for 2013, I'd change the rules and say that they should count for 2013 because that's when the decision was made.
Either way, lightening our loads by that many items is a great thing.
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Dec 30, 2013 13:07:01 GMT -5
Hi Sarah, nice to have you join us. I don't have any particular advice that hasn't already been mentioned...
Here's what I hope to get accomplished between today and tomorrow:
End Table
Coffee Table
Water plants
Vacuum Rec room Order pictures Re-bag the huge box
Do darks - in progress Do whites/towels Vacuum the dog room Put away dishes Prep Xmas stuff for storage Recycling
Read church book Put wine away
Find stamps, stamp thank you cards, put cards out
ETA: I don't know if it's something I ate/drank this morning but I'm not feeling so good. I'm sort of lightheaded and my stomach is queasy. Maybe it's God telling me to go back to bed. I think I'll call DH and see if that helps.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 30, 2013 14:57:30 GMT -5
I actually got to my closet!! The space in front of it is DH's favorite place to stack stuff when he's "straightening up" the living room. Also a favorite spot for "deal with it later" stuff. I went through it all and got into my closet. Took a ton out of it too! I don't count, I'm slow enough, but there's at least half a 3x4 box and a garbage bag full.
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