Why is breaking up so hard to do

[ZaireinHD]

anywayz I was looking through this thread to see if I posted different stages of breaking up and instead found I'm about to be banned and got distracted.

really didn't find any stages of breakup? well not like I would have imagined.

Denial and Shock - first stages of feeling is this really happening?
Confusion and Bitterness - possible second stage feeling blindsided or confused that there were no warning signs. Bitterness towards the other person for break up for no apparent reason.
Hope - possible third stage that the friendship can be saved? even though not knowing the reason for the breakup constantly throwing out change can be made.
Moving on - possible fourth stage feeling that after enough time has past and realizing the other person does not want the same or no longer motivated by staying together. the other person has had enough change in their own life that the break up was not your fault and nothing you did.

[ZaireinHD]

Feb 14, 2013 20:47:24 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

well I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be allowed to post as the MOB or specific group of members are going to start accusing me of breaking unwritten rules and reporting me, and bang before I know it I'm banned.

but I would like to say that I was just surprised that you felt I went that route of upsetting her?
how many times I've said we used to be such close friends and talked about everything.
it's MOB members job to think negatively towards me and my actions.
post comments that are intentionally mean in nature not to be a yes-man and hand holding towards me.

Zaire - there is no MOB - and you continuing to call members here who offer advice you don't agree with as a MOB is not acceptable.

Nobody's out to hurt you. As I said before, when you bring your personal life here to talk about - people are going to have opinions. They're not all going to pat you on the head and tell you what you want to hear.

You said months ago that the friendship with your ex-BFF was over and you were going to put it behind you - and get on with your life. So do it - you can't move forward until you close that chapter of your life.

I posted earlier that it would probably be better if you typed out your thoughts privately onto a document on your computer to get your thoguhts out and deal with them - rather than posting them on a public message board. Then you could update that document or delete it after you'd vented privately.

But you will NOT come here and call other members here names if their opinions aren't what YOU want to hear.

SL ~ Mod


.

so Zaire is breaking another unwritten rule!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Zaire, it's not an unwritten rule - it's right in the Code of Conduct:

Update August 18, 2011

Addendum 1

Posts that:

•are designed to bait someone into saying something against the CoC

•are filled with insults

•are deliberately inflammatory towards another poster


will be deleted.

Calling other members names (the MOB) is an insult and inflammatory toward another poster. Any further reference to other members here as the MOB will be treated as inflammatory and dealt with accordingly.

SL ~ Mod

[ZaireinHD]

ok Scottish Lassie the moderator
I see that I Zaire am breaking the rules of the board and do not want to break the written rules, the unwritten rules, and the new rules that come out that you find offensive. I apologize for offending you and your close friends and will not longer refer anyone or use the term MOB.

Zaireinhd

[zibazinski]

It isn't hard at all to break up. People make it harder by trying to be nice about it. When it's over, it's over. Move on and stop trying to make it better for the other party. It doesn't help, only hurts further and then it gets aggravating.

[Reckless Roselia]

It can take some time to completely forget someone whom you loved deeply and sometimes it takes no time at all. I guess it all depends on your feelings and circumstances. 

[ZaireinHD]

I agree with ya Rose - it's an emotional process. not a thoughtful one. the level of love, along with the memories of good times, and the thoughts of this person that comes up every hour almost - because of something that reminds me of her. how it used be that I could depend on this person and now that support is gone. then the frustration starts and the tears come!

the thoughtful process - yea - people know why they broke up in the first place, so that is a part of your life that didn't work out so oh well move on.

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2013 9:21:40 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

I agree with ya Rose - it's an emotional process. not a thoughtful one. the level of love, along with the memories of good times, and the thoughts of this person that comes up every hour almost - because of something that reminds me of her. how it used be that I could depend on this person and now that support is gone. then the frustration starts and the tears come!

the thoughtful process - yea - people know why they broke up in the first place, so that is a part of your life that didn't work out so oh well move on.

Often times a relationship can be one sided. The person who is "deeply in love" and the person who is not.

Isn't it ironic that the person who cares the least has the power in a relationship?

[Reckless Roselia]

Mar 21, 2013 9:21:40 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

I agree with ya Rose - it's an emotional process. not a thoughtful one. the level of love, along with the memories of good times, and the thoughts of this person that comes up every hour almost - because of something that reminds me of her. how it used be that I could depend on this person and now that support is gone. then the frustration starts and the tears come!

the thoughtful process - yea - people know why they broke up in the first place, so that is a part of your life that didn't work out so oh well move on.

Hey Z,

From my personal experience, having someone act as my crutch backfired and it did me no good. I thought he cared about me and was my friend ... but he didn't want to be my crutch however he was fine acting as another's crutch and when I pointed it out to him many times then that became jealousy. I thought fukc him. I'm much better without such two-faced people.

Some people think with their heads whilst some with their hearts ... you need a combination of both. 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Once a person has finally decided to end a relationship or friendship, it's easy enough to do. It's usually the other person who has a problem letting go.

This is what I see in Z's case. He's living with a woman and has been for quite some time now (including all the benefits). This ex-friend of his (also female) broke off their friendship MONTHS ago - it's Zaire who's having a problem letting go.

His current live-in relationship must not be all that important to him if he spends all his time pining over and chasing after another woman who is NOT his girlfriend. He even went so far as to try to get her a job in his office so he could see her every day.

[ZaireinHD]

wow GF just called and said she is looking at my x-best friend at her job!
small world

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2013 15:21:20 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

wow GF just called and said she is looking at my x-best friend at her job!
small world

Sometimes too small! lol

[ZaireinHD]

RIGHT APPLE! I mean seriously!
LOL

I live in a major city and how is it that people go looking for others and they can't be found. So just leave it alone and bingo they will just pop up I guess. I can so understand how the person that cares the least has the power in a relationship.

[Jaguar]

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

[steff]

[b2r]

[Deleted]

oh golly...we've evolved into a tunes thread.