Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Nov 2, 2012 15:31:42 GMT -5
Well happy birthday! 1984 was a good year to be born. (If it makes you feel better, I'll be 29 in February). I had a friend in high school that said the only good thing to come out of the 80's was Back to the Future and us.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 2, 2012 15:32:36 GMT -5
If they are dealing with an unmarried man, maybe they should refer to him as "Master."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 15:32:58 GMT -5
Are you kidding? The 80s are back in full force. What was cool in the 80s is cool again. what comes around goes around.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Nov 2, 2012 15:33:15 GMT -5
I require my son to use "Mr." or "Miss" and then first name. All of his teachers have used first names so getting him to use last names was nearly impossible.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 2, 2012 15:33:30 GMT -5
I got chewed out using Ms because apparently according to that lady the proper way to address women was "mrs". I don't really care if I addressed as Mrs DH, Ms DH, Miss or whatever. Especially when it is by someone I am only going to see for a few minutes like a server or a cashier. It's not worth getting my panties in a knot over. I don't get bent over being called whatever version either. All my kids have different last names (Xh's, mine and his mothers; in that order) and you know which kid the school is calling about by the name they call me.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Nov 2, 2012 15:38:31 GMT -5
I'm teaching my kids to use first names, it just seems easier that way. Although I am also teaching them to say sir & ma'am when answering questions. I don't find ma'am to be an age thing, just a polite way to talk to people. I do hate when people attempt to say my last name & mangle it. What I hate even more is when they mangle it, then ask me how to pronounce it, then continue mangling it. Don't ask if you aren't going to bother to listen to the pronounciation!!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 2, 2012 15:40:07 GMT -5
Teach them also to watch for cues that some adults don't like it. They need alternatives.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 2, 2012 15:40:26 GMT -5
When I was very young I used Mr/Ms Last Name. Around age 10 I started asking adults how they preferred to be addressed and went with that.
The only people I ever struggled with were my in-laws. They never use each others first names, and they hated me, but Mr. In-law sounded odd too. We eventually got over it and I use there first names.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 15:41:53 GMT -5
When I was very young I used Mr/Ms Last Name. Around age 10 I started asking adults how they preferred to be addressed and went with that. The only people I ever struggled with were my in-laws. They never use each others first names, and they hated me, but Mr. In-law sounded odd too. We eventually got over it and I use there first names. Good point. I have been married to my wife for 5 years and I still don't know what to call my in-laws. I have basically gone 5 years without addressing them in any way.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 2, 2012 15:45:02 GMT -5
I guess that also depends on your work environment and your relationship with your co-workers and bosses. Where I work pretty much everyone is friends outside of work too. We go to happy hours and have parties and people sometimes bring their kids to the office. My kids see my bosses and coworkers in social settings too. I always say we're like a family. We're a little dysfunctional, but a family nonetheless.
I call my inlaws by their first names. My BIL calls them mom and dad. I love my inlaws, but I can't bring myself to call them mom and dad.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 2, 2012 15:46:13 GMT -5
How about "Big-Daddy" and "Sweet-Mama"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 15:47:59 GMT -5
How about "Big-Daddy" and "Sweet-Mama" I think i will continue my current strategy of nonaddressal.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 2, 2012 15:48:27 GMT -5
Everyone calls my boss Big Daddy, except me. I don't think anything could make me utter that phrase to the person I work for.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 2, 2012 15:50:40 GMT -5
How about "Big-Daddy" and "Sweet-Mama" I think i will continue my current strategy of nonaddressal. Bite the bullet Arch and just use their first name. My dh is still scared to address my parents too and honestly after 15 years its getting weird. You're probably going to be helping them with their estate in another 15-20 years. Might as well master their names now.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 2, 2012 15:53:31 GMT -5
DH calls my parents by their first names as do the other in-laws. I call my In Laws by their first names. MIL married the current husband when DH was 21 so he calls his stepfather by his first name. DH sees my parents weekly as we live in the same town but we haven't seen or spoken to DH's parents in 4 or 5 years so it's really not an issue.
DS is very polite towards adults and we pretty much have taught him to introduce himself to them to figure out what to call them. If they say "Hi Stephen, I'm Mrs. X" he calls her Mrs X. If she says "Hi Stephen, I'm Mary" he calls her Mary.
I work in the construction industry and everyone the DS comes in contact with (except his Grandpa) work under me. They all have nicknames so him calling them Mr XYZ would just be weird. I'm going to assume if he calls the one named "Tiny" by Mr. Last name Tiny is going to look at him funny. Same with Fluffy, Zipper, Dude, Little Matt, Broccoli, etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:02:33 GMT -5
Growing up, we addressed adults by their titles and last names unless invited to do otherwise. My Dad used to tell our soccer team that he would answer to Coach ___, Mr. ___, or Dad in select cases. When you graduated and got a grown-up job, you were allowed to call him by his first name. It's weird how many of our friends from high school were more excited to tell him they got a grown-up job than tell anyone else.
My parents also had a couple of close friends who we called Aunt Sue or whatever, but it was highly selective. This stresses me out now that my friends are having kids. I've had a couple of people refer to me as Auntie Sarah instead of Ms. Crafty to their kids, I think to avoid the whole formality thing. I don't want to be your kid's "Auntie Sarah" unless I intend to know your kid their whole life and dance at their wedding. But I don't know a polite way to tell people that I don't want to go to their kid's wedding.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:04:16 GMT -5
My parents also had a couple of close friends who we called Aunt Sue or whatever, but it was highly selective. This stresses me out now that my friends are having kids. I've had a couple of people refer to me as Auntie Sarah instead of Ms. Crafty to their kids, I think to avoid the whole formality thing. I don't want to be your kid's "Auntie Sarah" unless I intend to know your kid their whole life and dance at their wedding. But I don't know a polite way to tell people that I don't want to go to their kid's wedding. I would just say let time work that one out on its own. I apologize if I cost you a $500 wedding gift in the future.
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susanb
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Post by susanb on Nov 2, 2012 16:05:02 GMT -5
How about "Big-Daddy" and "Sweet-Mama" I think i will continue my current strategy of nonaddressal. How about grandma wacky? DH recently started calling my mom this when he talks about her. I told her and she loved it. I knew she had a good enough sense of humor to laugh about it, but I am a little concerned about how happy it made her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:07:37 GMT -5
My parents also had a couple of close friends who we called Aunt Sue or whatever, but it was highly selective. This stresses me out now that my friends are having kids. I've had a couple of people refer to me as Auntie Sarah instead of Ms. Crafty to their kids, I think to avoid the whole formality thing. I don't want to be your kid's "Auntie Sarah" unless I intend to know your kid their whole life and dance at their wedding. But I don't know a polite way to tell people that I don't want to go to their kid's wedding. I would just say let time work that one out on its own. I apologize if I cost you a $500 wedding gift in the future. $500 wedding gift - what do you think I'm married to cawiau?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:08:34 GMT -5
I would just say let time work that one out on its own. I apologize if I cost you a $500 wedding gift in the future. $500 wedding gift - what do you think I'm married to cawiau? Well in 18 years there is bound to be some inflation. And if you know the kid well enough to be an Auntie you really can't cheap out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:09:36 GMT -5
I grew up in the South and am in my 50s just so you know my frame of reference.
I always called everyone (including friends' parents) Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so. That was how my kids were brought up except at church many of the families had the same last name. It was a small church that had been started by a particular family. So there they called people Miss Whatever, including people not in that family. A few of our friends that we were really close to were called "Aunt" Mary, etc. even though they weren't related.
At school I will not allow students to call me Susana. I had one who wanted to, not particularly out of disrespect but because she had two teachers with the same last name. That's her problem, and she can (and I am sure did) refer to us however she pleased in private conversations. But in addressing me, I expected Mrs. or Ms. Last Name.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 2, 2012 16:17:49 GMT -5
I don't think you're allowed to use that phrase until you at LEAST hit 30. Meh, my birthday is next week, so I'm feeling old. Gonna be 28 . Might as well start caling me G-Pa. Hush I was 28 in July. I don't really remember what we called adults. Teachers were Mr/Mrs Last Name. I did have one teacher that was Miss Last Name. Other than that I don't really remember. I just don't remember it being an issue. I did have a boyfriend in college and everyone referred to his grandma as Miz Barbara. They were from deep south Georgia.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 2, 2012 16:20:19 GMT -5
I have one great aunt that everyone in the dang county calls Aunt M. Related or not that's how most people know her. She does have tons of nieces and nephews so I never can tell if I should know this person and if we're related or it's just one of many that have adopted her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 16:34:56 GMT -5
I was raised to call all adults Dr/Mr/Mrs/Miss and then later ALL women MS unless they told me something different.
When I became a snotty teenager I tried the first name thing but was promptly corrected.
It was a little weird when I went to work in an office that my mother worked in and we were all peers.
But the funniest is that I've been trained for so long that even at age 51 I still call my best friend's mom and dad, Mrs. and Mr. X. She's always correcting me but it still sounds funny to me!
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Nov 2, 2012 16:36:40 GMT -5
I was never raised with sir or m'am and I think it's weird. I don't care to be called it, though I don't find it offensive - just weird. I'm in New England, maybe it's regional.
I am teaching DS to address adults as Mr./Mrs./Miss Lastname. I actually scored points with a new co-worker when DS came in for trick or treating on Wed - my new co-worker said Hi, I'm (firstname) and I told DS "this is Mr. Lastname" and DS responded "Hi Mr. Lastname." I think he was pretty impressed.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 2, 2012 16:43:39 GMT -5
Growing up, my parents did every thing with two other couples. One couple I can never remember not calling them by their first names. The other couple I called Dr. and Mrs. Both men were doctors.
I was much closer to the Dr. and Mrs. throughout my whole life (second parents). As an adult, they encouraged me to call them by their first names. But I called them Dr. and Mrs. until the day they died.
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 2, 2012 17:30:33 GMT -5
I'm very, very much with Thyme, both on kids being equal people and hating Ms. Miss. Mrs. I'm definitely a Ms. because whether or not I'm married should have no bearing on how anyone but my husband relates to me.
I'm sure there will be some polite discussion between H. and I about this, but I expect my children will address people who they are familiar with by first name, unfamiliar with/in some sort of position of authority by title/how they were introduced. I don't think all adults are automatically in a position of authority or deserving of respect by all children. I DO want my kids to learn that every PERSON starts out being treated with respect, but that goes for them as well as any adults they interact with.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 2, 2012 17:36:26 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever had a single discussion with my girls about how to address adults. They're both in 6th grade now, so I'm guessing that ship already sailed. Oh well, I knew going in that I was going to be a mediocre parent, at best.
Honestly, I'm not even sure how they address adults now. Their teachers are Mr. or Mrs. SoAndSo, because that's how they were introduced. Most of our friends they were probably introduced to by first name so use that. I have no idea what they call their friends parents. I always hear it as friends mom or friends dad. It'll be something like, "Jeff's mom invited us to go watch his basketball game, can we go?" I don't know if that's because they call her Jeff's Mom or because they figure I won't know who they're talking about otherwise.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2012 18:06:14 GMT -5
My kids use mr. and miss and first names... unless that makes someone uncomfortable and they ask them to just call them by their first name. We are in PA, so its actually not as common around here to do that, but we had a friend when the kids were younger who was originally from further south, and she did it and i thought it gave the right tone of respect. I don't know that we every talked about it specifically, but that's just the model we always set so... ?
Sometimes mr. just doesn't sound all that right with the first name, so sometimes there it might be dropped... usually that's when someone says, just call me ____ .
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 2, 2012 18:30:13 GMT -5
I grew up in late 50's and early 60's. We called adults by their first name, except for Mrs. Berg. I guess having 9 kids gave her a title.
We did call all of our teachers by Mr. or Mrs. and their last name.
My DN and 3 Dnephews called me by my first name. I'm thrilled that DN taught her two kids to call me Aunt and my name. Nobody else has ever called me aunt. My DS or I can't remember how it came to be that her kids all call me by my first name.
I will go ballistic if you call me Mrs or Miss.
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