doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 8:58:05 GMT -5
Zib, i am very hard on my kids. My daughter is fairly good. My son not so much. He spends lots of time in time out and swears that flyswatters are actually called buttbusters. My kids hear no more than yes, so much so my daughter says its my favorite word.
I just cant find his hot spot in public. At home he is great. He likes being home, its just out and about that he acts up
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 9:05:26 GMT -5
It depends. I sometimes get frustred when people discipline Gwen not because I don't want her disciplined but because they don't give me a chance! My dad is naturally very strict and will sometimes jump in before I get a chance to correct the behavior. My mom told him to let ME do it first, I'm her mom. You're grandpa now, remember you can send the kid back home later. Otherwise no it would not bother me. I don't expect them to let her run wild in their house anymore than we let her run wild in our house. When they babysit, they are in charge. It helps too that my parenting style very much mirrors my parents, so we on the same page most of the time. As far as other kids if you are in my house it is going to be MY rules, you don't like it you don't have to be here. When they are somewhere else, it isn't my problem unless it directly affects me or my kid. I got loud/firm with a kid at daycare a couple weeks ago. Gwen was sitting down to breakfast and this kid just comes up and starts trying to take Gwen's teddy bear. I said "no that is Gwen's." The kid proceeds to try to do it AGAIN. So I stepped between her and Gwen and said sternly "Knock it off, that is not your toy, it is Gwen's." Kid walked off. I told the daycare ladies about it and they said that kid is always trying to steal other people's toys, they have to keep a real eye on her. She got in trouble for it from me and the daycare ladies.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 9:14:44 GMT -5
First off, I have 3 grown children, now 18-21. I can't ever remember anyone else having to discipline my kids. In fact, it was more like picking my kids up after sleepovers and other parents commenting on how well behaved my kids were. If someone's kids is at my house and doing damage, they will be told to STOP IMMEDIATELY. My house, my rules. A 7 year old child who ignores his parents is a sign of bad parenting. The absolute worst thing I see is kids who absolutely ignore the parents and do what they want. My husband has a retail store, he has parents come in with their kids, the parents say to the kids "Stop doing that" and the kids just ignore them, because obviuosly there is no consequences to ignoring the parents. I remember one lady who was telling her kids "No" every 15 seconds and they just kept doing whatever they were doing. Telling them NO is not working! Maybe we were overly strict parents. But then again I have 3 (mostly) well behaved, well adjusted young adults. This is where my kids would get the light slap on the back of the head to knock it off. My mother is always yelling that someone is going to call CPS. I think parents are afraid to discipline kids. I will admit I have very little patience for kid antics. I am one that is vety annoyed with kids that are not quiet and well behaved.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Nov 1, 2012 9:18:13 GMT -5
First off, I have 3 grown children, now 18-21. I can't ever remember anyone else having to discipline my kids. In fact, it was more like picking my kids up after sleepovers and other parents commenting on how well behaved my kids were. If someone's kids is at my house and doing damage, they will be told to STOP IMMEDIATELY. My house, my rules. A 7 year old child who ignores his parents is a sign of bad parenting. The absolute worst thing I see is kids who absolutely ignore the parents and do what they want. My husband has a retail store, he has parents come in with their kids, the parents say to the kids "Stop doing that" and the kids just ignore them, because obviuosly there is no consequences to ignoring the parents. I remember one lady who was telling her kids "No" every 15 seconds and they just kept doing whatever they were doing. Telling them NO is not working! Maybe we were overly strict parents. But then again I have 3 (mostly) well behaved, well adjusted young adults. This is where my kids would get the light slap on the back of the head to knock it off. My mother is always yelling that someone is going to call CPS. I think parents are afraid to discipline kids. I will admit I have very little patience for kid antics. I am one that is vety annoyed with kids that are not quiet and well behaved. You went to the Leroy Jethro Gibbs School of Child Management?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Nov 1, 2012 9:18:34 GMT -5
My sister has two kids just like I do and all of us (her, my parents, and myself) have free rein over all four (her two and my two) for the kids. She lets hers get away with a lot of stuff that I wouldn't put up with. They are much better behaved when they are at my house since I will not hesitate to slap any of them.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 9:21:28 GMT -5
Not saying it's the case with your son, but I've seen kids who are soooo doted on at home that when they get out in public and find their parents can't focus on them, they get carried away and act up. Nope not doted on. He is not quite 2. We do have to hand him snacks, drinks and change diapers. Which he has to ask for drinks snd snacks politely with a thank you following. He is a great self player. Give him blocks, trucks and cartoons and he is entertained for hours. He just throws fits in public. I hate it. We are on the go a lot. He needs to learn to behave out but I fear he is just a home body.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 9:21:42 GMT -5
Gibbs can slap me in the back of the head anytime.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:23:19 GMT -5
Discipline does not equal physical force.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Nov 1, 2012 9:26:00 GMT -5
Ha! I had my daughter's friend with me and we went out to eat. She was saying something and I held up my fork and told my daughter to explain what that meant. She looks at her friend and says "That means stop or she will thump you with her fork." The friend got the "deer in the headlights" look and shut her mouth.
Yeah. I'm up for Mother of The Year again this year.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 1, 2012 9:33:11 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:34:37 GMT -5
Those that raise their children correctly end up with good citizens. Ever read LORD of the FLIES? It's our job as parents to work hard and raise good people. Letting them do whatever they want is not a good plan. so how do you explain kids who grew up in the same home and one of them turns out to be a mass murderer?
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 9:38:33 GMT -5
.
Or he is too overstimulated in public or overtired. Being on the go too much with babies and toddlers is a recipe for a grumpy child.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:40:48 GMT -5
I think most mass murder/serial killers can be considered anomalies. When they're already torturing the family pets when they're 3 years old and their brothers and sisters seem perfectly normal, something else is going on there outside of bad parenting.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 1, 2012 9:41:49 GMT -5
Those that raise their children correctly end up with good citizens. Ever read LORD of the FLIES? It's our job as parents to work hard and raise good people. Letting them do whatever they want is not a good plan. so how do you explain kids who grew up in the same home and one of them turns out to be a mass murderer? That only happens in our world...not in zib's. In her world everything is black and white, no grey.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 9:46:28 GMT -5
Funny thing about hitler. If he'd gotten into art school, this holocaust thing might have never happened. He also had Jewish friends up to that time. P,us a Jewish doctor treated his mother and was allowed to leave Germany in one piece after he took power. Strange how little quirks of fate can change many lives. I met the dude who shot at Reagan's parents. Forget his name. Lovely people with other nice children. I was dying to know if he'd always been a nut or was it a one off?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:46:51 GMT -5
When my children were younger, I didn't mind someone taking a reasonable approach to correct my child's behavior. If they were spending time with family or a friend, the kids knew they'd be in big trouble with Mom if they misbehaved.
Kids are fine. Kids being kids is fine with me. Unruly, hard headed kids are not fine. I'd rather not be around one of them. I'll correct a family member or a friend's child if the parent doesn't do it or they aren't around. A stranger's child would have to be hitting or kicking or something like that for me to say something.
"Because I said so" has it's place. I'll explain some things, but I'm not getting into a long drawn out explanation or a debate with a kid that's acting out.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 9:50:57 GMT -5
Nope not doted on. He is not quite 2. We do have to hand him snacks, drinks and change diapers. Which he has to ask for drinks snd snacks politely with a thank you following. He is a great self player. Give him blocks, trucks and cartoons and he is entertained for hours. He just throws fits in public. I hate it. We are on the go a lot. He needs to learn to behave out but I fear he is just a home body. Oh, he's only two? Maybe he's bored when you're out? My youngest grandson, prefers to be at home more than anything. So, he gets really restless when out and having to wait for mom to finish her shopping. He will be two in a few weeks. He has been terrible to take out since day one. He use to scream non stop in the car. He is also a light sleeper and will not fall asleep in the car. He does have a 7:30 bedtime, but he is generally up at 5 or 5:30 playing in his room until someone else gets up.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 9:51:22 GMT -5
I know. Our host warned me who they were, pointed them out, and made sure that I would say nothing about it to them. These whacks never think about the shame they bring onto others.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:56:51 GMT -5
But, then if you can't get a sitter and decide not to go, these same people bellyache because you didn't come. Sorry, i cannot always find a sitter whenever i want one and in reality there are very few people i trust to watch my kids. So, if you have an event, state "no kids" and i will gladly stay home.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 9:57:45 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 9:59:39 GMT -5
so how do you explain kids who grew up in the same home and one of them turns out to be a mass murderer? Kids raised in the same household can still be treated very differently. I see it all the time. One gets special treatment over another, one gets treated unfairly or spanked more. Huh then by your theory I should be the one in my family to be a mass murderer yet I am the ONLY ONE in my family that turned out good.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 10:02:06 GMT -5
But what if you don't necessarily want "no kids"... just no badly-behaved kids? We ran into the same issue at our wedding - I wanted our nephews to be there, but a couple of DH's cousins have little hellions I knew would make a scene. But I couldn't say "no kids" and then have the nephews show up, that would cause hurt feelings.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 10:04:34 GMT -5
But, then if you can't get a sitter and decide not to go, these same people bellyache because you didn't come. Sorry, i cannot always find a sitter whenever i want one and in reality there are very few people i trust to watch my kids. So, if you have an event, state "no kids" and i will gladly stay home. This.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 10:05:10 GMT -5
I'd plead ignorance! As in I didn't know they'd bring them or the babysitter cancelled at the last minute. All I know is that every wedding/reception I've been to, kids have ruined it. Is a grown up affair unless you make it a backyard casual thing. DD and DS have been in so many weddings as kids it wasn't funny and damned expensive. We always had someone pick them up after pictures and take them to McDonald's and then home. Everyone enjoyed themselves including my kids.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Nov 1, 2012 10:05:57 GMT -5
But what if you don't necessarily want "no kids"... just no badly-behaved kids? We ran into the same issue at our wedding - I wanted our nephews to be there, but a couple of DH's cousins have little hellions I knew would make a scene. But I couldn't say "no kids" and then have the nephews show up, that would cause hurt feelings. I solved it by not giving a flying fig. ;D I addressed the invitation to who was invited. DH's nephew, invited. 5 kids I babysat (2 were ring bearer and flower girl), invited. But I sure as heck wasn't inviting DH's cousin's children to our wedding, when he had never met the kids or talked to his cousins in years. No thanks!
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 10:09:30 GMT -5
MIL pretty much put her foot down and said, "you can't tell people not to bring their kids." So we didn't even try Most of the couples with kids left fairly early in the reception... a few crying toddlers, but nothing too extreme.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 10:10:03 GMT -5
There's that. There are some posters kids I'd love to meet and others, not so much. I know you are talking about how much you would love to meet my kids! Actually, I may complain about my teens, but for the most part...they are really well behaved kids. When they were little we got complimented all the time in public how well behaved our kids were. I would take them to DR. appt with me and they would sit in the chairs all nice and quiet reading their books or coloring. I think my lucky stars every day that they don't act like I did at their age!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 10:11:11 GMT -5
Oh, he's only two? Maybe he's bored when you're out? My youngest grandson, prefers to be at home more than anything. So, he gets really restless when out and having to wait for mom to finish her shopping. He will be two in a few weeks. He has been terrible to take out since day one. He use to scream non stop in the car. He is also a light sleeper and will not fall asleep in the car. He does have a 7:30 bedtime, but he is generally up at 5 or 5:30 playing in his room until someone else gets up. That behavior to me = overstimulated/overtired. He'll probably be find out in public when he gets older, but for now the only way to "correct" his behavior is to respect his need not to be on the go so much.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 10:15:40 GMT -5
He will be two in a few weeks. He has been terrible to take out since day one. He use to scream non stop in the car. He is also a light sleeper and will not fall asleep in the car. He does have a 7:30 bedtime, but he is generally up at 5 or 5:30 playing in his room until someone else gets up. That behavior to me = overstimulated/overtired. He'll probably be find out in public when he gets older, but for now the only way to "correct" his behavior is to respect his need not to be on the go so much. I have to work. Being on the go is our reality. I try to have a few evenings we do no errands but some nights we have activities and he has to go. We do get home by 7 to have him in bed by 7:30.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 10:24:13 GMT -5
Nope, but 1) she rarely, if ever, butts in; 2) DH and I were already split on the issue; and 3) I didn't feel like pissing off my new MIL, husband, and the rest of the extended family over a minor issue.
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