thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 13:15:43 GMT -5
What I learned is that those nike high heels have been reduced in price. I think they are getting low enough that it is worth the humor to buy them!
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 13:22:26 GMT -5
Was he a douche yes. Is it the end of the world no. Sure, because MIL was there to pick up the pieces & save everyone. Suppose MIL wasn't around today & the Mom had to miss work. Most employers don't appreciate people missing work due to childcare issues. As a one-time incident, maybe not that big of a deal. As a larger pattern of behavior that shows this dude is a complete ass. Yes, it is a pretty big deal. Not that it matters, the Mom & Grandma probably can't afford daycare. So he knows they can't kick him out & he won't get dumped for being an ass. So he will get away with it. If I was your MIL, I would say no next time I needed in an emergency because this guy was a douche.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 26, 2012 13:22:47 GMT -5
It is a much bigger deal than what you are thinking it is. It is equivalent to you not showing up for your job because you got drunk and passed out and overslept. This wasn't a weekend where someone else could take care of it. This a situation where his wife was counting on him. From my perspective as someone with a SAHD for a husband, that is a huge huge deal.
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aliciar6
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Post by aliciar6 on Oct 26, 2012 13:24:46 GMT -5
Like others have said.. going out to have fun with your friends is one thing.. staying out all night without so much as a phonecall when you were expected home... well, come pick your shit up off the front lawn when you finally wake up from your drunken stupor. That shit doesn't fly in my house. It is complete and utter disrespect to your wife and family. this....and technically, I'd be kicking him out of his house. (we are slowly getting all the paperwork done)
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Oct 26, 2012 13:25:45 GMT -5
Hey Carl, why doesn't your wife just pop out some kids and be a SAHM while you pay off her loans? She didn't mean to take out that many, everyone makes mistakes, it's not the end of the world... cut her some slack.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 13:26:46 GMT -5
It is a much bigger deal than what you are thinking it is. It is equivalent to you not showing up for your job because you got drunk and passed out and overslept. This wasn't a weekend where someone else could take care of it. This a situation where his wife was counting on him. From my perspective as someone with a SAHD for a husband, that is a huge huge deal. Well said. Like I said earlier, my ex pulled this stunt on me ONCE & never again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. You can't be a responsible SAHD, then you don't get to be a SAHD in my book. I don't enjoy scrambling for daycare & having to miss work & I won't be put through that again.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 13:27:01 GMT -5
LOL - also, just be sure she has lots of girls nights out, and if she isn't home in time for you to get to your job, no big deal right? Your job won't care.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 13:27:18 GMT -5
Hey Carl, why doesn't your wife just pop out some kids and be a SAHM while you pay off her loans? She didn't mean to take out that many, everyone makes mistakes, it's not the end of the world... cut her some slack.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 26, 2012 13:27:44 GMT -5
She's at home now collecting unemployment.. But does get to have lunch with Carl. I wonder if she will get pregnant before a job opens up?
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 13:28:09 GMT -5
LOL - also, just be sure she has lots of girls nights out, and if she isn't home in time for you to get to your job, no big deal right? Your job won't care. And don't worry if you don't hear from her. I'm sure she is just passed out or her phone died.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 26, 2012 13:29:10 GMT -5
Hey, wasn't Darks wife supposed to get a job about now?
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telephus44
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Post by telephus44 on Oct 26, 2012 13:32:06 GMT -5
and FWIW - yes, if he's a good responsible SAHD then he deserves a night out. He still should plan it in advance and make sure everyone knows what childcare arrangements are.
If he's a douche canoe who won't take a job and makes his mentally ill wife work to service their half million dollar debt and takes fancy vacations and can't bother to watch his own children, then no, he doesn't deserve a night out with his buddies, but he's going to do it anyway because he's an asshole.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 13:32:54 GMT -5
and FWIW - yes, if he's a good responsible SAHD then he deserves a night out. He still should plan it in advance and make sure everyone knows what childcare arrangements are. If he's a douche canoe who won't take a job and makes his mentally ill wife work to service their half million dollar debt and takes fancy vacations and can't bother to watch his own children, then no, he doesn't deserve a night out with his buddies, but he's going to do it anyway because he's an asshole. HELL YES. And a bunch of times.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 13:33:27 GMT -5
and FWIW - yes, if he's a good responsible SAHD then he deserves a night out. He still should plan it in advance and make sure everyone knows what childcare arrangements are. If he's a douche canoe who won't take a job and makes his mentally ill wife work to service their half million dollar debt and takes fancy vacations and can't bother to watch his own children, then no, he doesn't deserve a night out with his buddies, but he's going to do it anyway because he's an asshole. I think I you.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 13:35:36 GMT -5
If he's a douche canoe who won't take a job and makes his mentally ill wife work to service their half million dollar debt and takes fancy vacations and can't bother to watch his own children, then no, he doesn't deserve a night out with his buddies, but he's going to do it anyway because he's an asshole.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 26, 2012 14:07:06 GMT -5
and FWIW - yes, if he's a good responsible SAHD then he deserves a night out. He still should plan it in advance and make sure everyone knows what childcare arrangements are. If he's a douche canoe who won't take a job and makes his mentally ill wife work to service their half million dollar debt and takes fancy vacations and can't bother to watch his own children, then no, he doesn't deserve a night out with his buddies, but he's going to do it anyway because he's an asshole.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 14:20:17 GMT -5
Regardless of what he is or isn't, what does it matter? He is a grown up and can live his life however he chooses too.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Oct 26, 2012 14:33:05 GMT -5
Regardless of what he is or isn't, what does it matter? He is a grown up and can live his life however he chooses too. He is responsible for a young child. No he can't live his life how he chooses. I will ask you again: if this was a SAHM, would this have been acceptable behavior? How about someone who has a job just not showing up? Is that something as perhaps their boss you would tolerate?
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 26, 2012 14:36:20 GMT -5
Regardless of what he is or isn't, what does it matter? He is a grown up and can live his life however he chooses too. No, you forfeit that right when you have a minor child to care for. ETA: spelling fail
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Oct 26, 2012 14:38:58 GMT -5
Sure, and he can also face the consequences for doing so. Like having a mad wife, or getting divorced, or having to get a job to support himself once his wife finally wises up and dumps (what by all accounts appears to be) his dead weight.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 14:48:21 GMT -5
Sure, and he can also face the consequences for doing so. Like having a mad wife, or getting divorced, or having to get a job to support himself once his wife finally wises up and dumps (what by all accounts appears to be) his dead weight. You can live however you want. It doesn't mean others have to put up with your BS.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 14:50:05 GMT -5
If he wants to live his life however he wants then he shouldn't have gotten married and had a kid.
It would be one thing if my DH let me know in advance and I could make arrangements such as taking the day off or alternate care. Or if it was a weekend and we did not have to worry about childcare
It's another if I wake up at 8am on a weekday and he is still not home, I have no clue where he is and he hasn't even bothered to call me.
Now I have to run around calling all my alternates hoping someone can watch the kid so I don't have to take off work. Plus I get to worry about whether or not DH is all right since I have no way to reach him.
It's also extremely inconsiderate to the alternates. They now have to also rearrange their schedules. Just because they do not mind or agree to watch the kid it doesn't mean that they want to do it because your husband's drunk ass is missing.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Oct 26, 2012 15:00:49 GMT -5
So the chain of events, as far as I can tell, went something like this.
Dude A goes out and does something monumentally stupid. His wife goes to your mother in law and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your MIL calls your wife and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your wife comes to you and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" At this point in the chain you decide to stand up for the guy? Are you completely crazy? Women feed off each other dude. Each person in the chain was actually more pissed off than the one before. That's how it works. By the time it got to you in your wife's head this guy has just done something worse than banging his wife's sister in the bed they share, and then you jump in and defend him. *head shake* Enjoy the couch rookie.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 26, 2012 15:03:16 GMT -5
I try to very cautious with our use of babysitting, especially the last minute stuff. Dh had jury duty and knew about it for weeks, but never set up childcare. The night before he was called he wanted me to ask my folks to watch ds and I refused. I respect their time and everything they do for us, and don't want them jumping through hoops because of our stupidity.
He had to put ds in the courthouse daycare (which for dh is akin to child abuse).
I really don't think anyone would think this was okay if it was a sahm.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 15:07:20 GMT -5
So the chain of events, as far as I can tell, went something like this. Dude A goes out and does something monumentally stupid. His wife goes to your mother in law and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your MIL calls your wife and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your wife comes to you and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" At this point in the chain you decide to stand up for the guy? Are you completely crazy? Women feed off each other dude. Each person in the chain was actually more pissed off than the one before. That's how it works. By the time it got to you in your wife's head this guy has just done something worse than banging his wife's sister in the bed they share, and then you jump in and defend him. *head shake* Enjoy the couch rookie. DArk's got a point here. I do feed off of the emotions on this board and others. I had to stop going to the Nest because I was turning emotions onto DH that he definitely did not deserve. And I apologized to him when I realized what was going on. Common courtesy is due to everyone. Letting your wife know you're not coming home falls into this too. Dude A was lacking in common courtesy on multiple fronts.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 26, 2012 15:18:04 GMT -5
So the chain of events, as far as I can tell, went something like this. Dude A goes out and does something monumentally stupid. His wife goes to your mother in law and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your MIL calls your wife and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" Your wife comes to you and is like, "Can you believe this fucking idiot?!?!" At this point in the chain you decide to stand up for the guy? Are you completely crazy? Women feed off each other dude. Each person in the chain was actually more pissed off than the one before. That's how it works. By the time it got to you in your wife's head this guy has just done something worse than banging his wife's sister in the bed they share, and then you jump in and defend him. *head shake* Enjoy the couch rookie. I think its worse than that. This guy doesn't seem to do anything useful and I think was the one that instigated the anniversary trip where they asked a bunch of people including Carl for money to get home. This guy is most likely a sociopath and will never improve. I wouldn't agree with anything the guy did even in the rare event he did something right. I agree with the women this was badly done, but no worries ... its going to get worse.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Oct 26, 2012 15:21:02 GMT -5
We don't have near enough information to determine that. It sounds like Carl and his wife only hear one side of the story, and only when the guy screws up. Everyone sounds like a worthless asshole if the only things you know about them are their flaws, especially if you're hearing about those from an emotional party who's biased.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 15:22:02 GMT -5
No Optimist, the anniversary trip was $40K wedding where no one liked the food and the Aunts borrowed money from everyone under the sun to cover it.
This is Carl's wife's cousin's husband. She had a nervous breakdown, stopped going to her office and was sitting on a park bench. They have a toddler (by now) and he stays home. Her Mom lives with them because they can't afford the house and cars without her.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 26, 2012 15:44:07 GMT -5
No Optimist, the anniversary trip was $40K wedding where no one liked the food and the Aunts borrowed money from everyone under the sun to cover it. This is Carl's wife's cousin's husband. She had a nervous breakdown, stopped going to her office and was sitting on a park bench. They have a toddler (by now) and he stays home. Her Mom lives with them because they can't afford the house and cars without her. I've mixed them up? This is the guy that advertised his wife had a breakdown to her coworkers? Dark, sure he might have redeeming qualities but somehow I have a feeling they are not enough to balance out his proven bad qualities in a partnership.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Oct 26, 2012 15:47:40 GMT -5
That's fine, I'm just saying you should be cognizant of the fact that your feeling is based on just a couple of data points that you're getting like fourth hand from a biased source.
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