zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 26, 2012 12:19:36 GMT -5
I'm sure she is loving being home.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 12:20:16 GMT -5
I would be livid if Goose did something like this guy did. If he was too drunk to come home he could have called someone and let them know! There have been times I have gone out clubbing with my friends. Goose has known a week or more in advance and I always take an overnight bag to stay the night. There was no way I was going to drive after a few drinks and Goose knew that. He was fine with it, but it was ALWAYS arranged ahead of time. I would also text him when I left the club to go back to my best friend's house so he wouldn't be worried about me getting to her house. I did it maybe 3 times in 5 years.
I also do not believe that at 30 drinking and passing out just HAPPENS! You should know your limit by that age. He sounds like he is an immature jerk.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 12:21:05 GMT -5
Well I think Cawaiu and his wife should be able to discuss it - he shouldn't have to nod and smile to keep the peace - but without knowing exactly how the conversation went, it's hard to say whether Mrs. C was justified in flying off the handle. "What, he deserves to go out on his birthday, I'd do it too!" is a lot different from "Well, he probably thought he was doing the right thing at the time." It is hard to say. It sounds like part of what Carl is arguing that it was ok the guy went out & had fun. I don't even think anyone here is arguing with that. Going out & partying = ok. The problem comes in when you get so wasted that you aren't able to meet your responsibilities, which in turns screws everyone else in the family. If Carl is actually arguing it would be ok to not call & not come home to watch the kid, leaving Mom & Grandma to figure out something, then no wonder Wifey is hella pissed. That behavior is not acceptable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 12:21:59 GMT -5
That is really the key here. I know that carl likes to argue with his wife, and finds ways to irritate her that are totally unneccesary. They must have awesome make-up sex. But, my marriage is good because my husband and I save our fighting to be about things that matter to us. Things we actually care about. Things that actually effect us. We don't fight about who is right when the friends down the street are fighting. In fact, right now our friends down the street are fighting, and he thinks the guy is right, I think the gal has a valid point. But, until their problem is our problem - who cares. I don't really know what is going on down there, and I don't really care. So . I can't imagine wanting to constantly fight and argue. Maybe the makeup sex is THAT awesome...but I still don't see the point.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 26, 2012 12:26:30 GMT -5
No kidding but they are both young. Just sounds like high school to me.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 12:28:55 GMT -5
I knew young couples that loved to argue like that. They insisted it kept their relationship "spicy." They are all divorced now. I just don't need to wage battle in my own home with someone who is suppose to be my partner. Not my deal.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 12:29:11 GMT -5
- yes it is the guy that has been unemployed for 5 years, wife was the one in the mental hospital
- look I agree it sucked that he did not call or show up but I don't see the big deal with the guy going out with his friends and having a good time
- people make mistakes, sometimes some stupid ones. He probably forgot to call, phone died, passed out, etc.
- I was just offering a different view of things, different sides... It is not always black and white.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 12:32:07 GMT -5
INVALID! Every person in his group had a phone in their pocket.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 12:32:11 GMT -5
I think he should go out with his friends and have a good time. He also screwed up big time by not showing up for his job the next day. That is a big deal.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 12:32:53 GMT -5
So if your wife was a SAHM and she went out with the girls and didn't come home that evening/next morning and you had to look for alternate child care arrangements at the last minute so you could go to work, you would shrug it off and say no big deal?
Nobody is saying he shouldn't be able to go out with his friends and have a good time. What people are saying is when you are responsible for child care you don't pull a no show.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 12:33:00 GMT -5
I knew young couples that loved to argue like that. They insisted it kept their relationship "spicy." They are all divorced now. I just don't need to wage battle in my own home with someone who is suppose to be my partner. Not my deal. I don't want a spicy relationship. I want comfort. Jalapenos vs. mashed potatoes.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Oct 26, 2012 12:33:40 GMT -5
I think if you rearranged that sentence, it would go over better. The "but" is what gets ya. "I don't see the big deal about him going out with his friends and having a good time, but it sucked that he didn't call or show up."
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 12:34:03 GMT -5
-- look I agree it sucked that he did not call or show up but I don't see the big deal with the guy going out with his friends and having a good time Going out with his friends wasn't a big deal. You are failing to see what is really this issue. Going out isn't the issue. Being able to go out while still being an adult & keeping up with responsibilities is a real big deal. 30 yr olds shouldn't skip work because they got drunk & passed out or their phone died. That is a sign of immaturity & is a very big deal.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Oct 26, 2012 12:34:28 GMT -5
I get all my argumentative-ness out of my system on here. I don't like to argue with DH.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 26, 2012 12:35:28 GMT -5
So if your wife was a SAHM and she went out with the girls and didn't come home that evening/next morning and you had to look for alternate child care arrangements at the last minute so you could go to work, you would shrug it off and say no big deal? Nobody is saying he shouldn't be able to go out with his friends and have a good time. What people are saying is when you are responsible for child care you don't pull a no show. Who would have skipped work if they couldn't have found alternate care arrangements? Would that have been a big deal?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 12:35:34 GMT -5
I have enough people who disagree with me and fuss at me all day. I get paid to deal with that crap. When I come home, to my own home, I just want people to agree with me. At least a little bit.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 12:36:24 GMT -5
I don't want a spicy relationship. I want comfort. Jalapenos vs. mashed potatoes. How about jalapeno mashed potatoes? garlic jalapeno mashed with some cheese. just the right amount of spicy in the comfort.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 12:39:17 GMT -5
Who would have skipped work if they couldn't have found alternate care arrangements
Exactly. Gwen got sick at daycare and tehy called me to pick her up. I ended up having to take half a day off because my MIL was also sick and my parents still work for a living.
Arranging for last minute alternative childcare is a HUGE PITA.
I am fortunate to work for pretty flexible bosses, not everyone is that lucky.
I'd be BEYOND pissed if DH was a SAHD and I had to take off work because his ass was passed out drunk somewhere.
She is very lucky your mom could watch the kid. Employers don't look too favorably on last minute no shows because you couldn't find childcare, it is not their problem.
It's even worse if I'm are the sole provider. You're risking our entire household income so you can be an immature ass.
If you are are a SAHP you are the "daycare". That's why you stay home.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 12:41:26 GMT -5
My husband stayed out late a few weeks ago, drank too much. The next morning, he wasn't feeling so great. It was a Saturday, but my son had a game. I told him I could take boychild to soccer, and he answered "I'm not missing my kid's childhood because I'm hung over." And he went to the game. #realman
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 12:45:00 GMT -5
Thyme's DH rocks!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 12:53:57 GMT -5
My husband stayed out late a few weeks ago, drank too much. The next morning, he wasn't feeling so great. It was a Saturday, but my son had a game. I told him I could take boychild to soccer, and he answered "I'm not missing my kid's childhood because I'm hung over." And he went to the game. #realman I probably would have done the same thing but I also would have understood that your husband would have wanted to sleep it off. Was he a douche yes. Is it the end of the world no.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 26, 2012 12:55:22 GMT -5
No, it's not the end of the world, but he'd probably be having my size 9 nike surgically removed from his ass after pulling that stunt
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 13:01:35 GMT -5
Pretty much every thing you post about this guy makes me want to divorce him. So, a single incident of this would get a reaction in my marriage, it likely wouldn't end it (after 15 years of me knowing where he is, and him living up to his responsibilities.) But, if I were married to this particular person, this certainly shows a pattern, and this isn't the first time he has shown himself to be not worth the trouble.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 13:02:15 GMT -5
No, it's not the end of the world, but he'd probably be having my size 9 nike surgically removed from his ass after pulling that stunt I might need to borrow your size nine Nike Swamp because I don't t hink my size 4 shoes will do the trick. Oh wait, I got 4 inch stilletos, those would work.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 13:03:41 GMT -5
How about we combine SWamp and Drama's shoes into a size 9 Nike with 4 inch stilettos?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 26, 2012 13:05:24 GMT -5
I think they sell those. There was the EE thread about Nike high heels.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 26, 2012 13:06:13 GMT -5
Carl, let's look at this from the opposite end. You're basically an asst. manager, right? What happens when your pharmacist doesn't show up to work at 8am? No calls, no contact, just no show. Or your head cashier? Or your bookkeeper? Or the programmer at HQ who makes sure prices are correctly entered into the POS? (See, I learned something from a Loony thread!) How does that impact your store? And you, personally? Do you have to chase down someone to fill in on no notice? Do the work yourself?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 26, 2012 13:07:39 GMT -5
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 26, 2012 13:10:19 GMT -5
I hate being late to these threads because everything is already said. So I'll just say I agree with: MM, Drama, Zib, Beth, Taz... ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2012 13:12:52 GMT -5
Cawaii,
If you can learn anything from this thread, it is that women is nuts. Just nod, and say, yes to keep her happy and keep yourself happy.
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