zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 12:04:57 GMT -5
Okay, guys, in the summer I don't cook. DF grills, which I think is fair because I cook all winter. I like him to start the grill when he gets home and then go veg for awhile. I won't relate here what he does to veg because it's TMI, suffice to say, he does it the minute he gets home every day. He wants to start the grill after he is done which puts dinner back a good half hour because of the grill needing time to heat up. It's is too much to ask for the grill to be started, takes maybe a minute and then go veg?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:08:46 GMT -5
I'm guessing he takes his constitutional when he gets home.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 12:09:18 GMT -5
Bathroom.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:20:18 GMT -5
See! I told ya!! ;D
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 12:23:23 GMT -5
;D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:25:06 GMT -5
oh, I thought it was another "constitutional".
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:30:45 GMT -5
You two need to realize that most people don't mention most of our "mentionables".
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:40:34 GMT -5
I'm stalling until after the year. I kinda like things the way they are. I've been married and it sucked more than it didn't. DF treats me like a queen. What if I married him and he didn't? Then what? Another divorce? Yuck. It means more to him than it does to me so I probably will do it but I want to want to do it. Does that make any sense? Thx. How long have you been engaged? Sorry, what does "after the year" mean?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 5, 2012 12:43:00 GMT -5
Anway, I'm sure you now all think I'm some cheuvanistic pig who wants to go out and dominate women Phoenix, I know we've moved on but I wanted to address this. I don't think you're a chauvinist who wants to control women, but if I'm honest, I do think you've absorbed a lot of the condescension which is part and parcel to the paternalism view you hold. I am automatically suspicious of views that people hold which strongly favor them. Generally, that's not a coincidence. And naturally, people don't like to have this pointed out to them. That's the vibe I'm getting from you. It doesn't make you a chauvinist, it doesn't make you a wannabe dictator, it doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you hold a worldview which greatly privileges your gender.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:43:32 GMT -5
Best "correction" ever!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 5, 2012 12:49:26 GMT -5
You're completely right, Rick. This is why we can't discuss religion - people like to tell others that what they believe (a belief - NOT a fact) is wrong. I'm not going to tell a Dem or Repub that what they think is wrong - I just present my viewpoints and agree to disagree. Why can't we do that here? Beliefs aren't right or wrong by nature - they are akin to opinions.
Last comment on old stuff - I think there's a big difference between telling people that what they believe is "wrong" and stating YOUR OWN belief that someone else's belief is causing greater harm to society.
For example, Person A believes in slavery. Most people are going to feel free to state THEIR belief that Person A's belief is not only "wrong" but harmful to society.
It isn't limited to religion; when I see a belief that I believe is causing great harm to society, I say so. I think most people do. It's not about tearing people down or making them feel bad about their beliefs; it's about unpacking beliefs that cause other people to be marginalized and shut out.
It wasn't until people started pointing how some of my beliefs were causing harm to other people that I understood this myself. A lot of the time, nothing gets examined without first being challenged.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 12:50:08 GMT -5
I'm finally done with DDs college in December. I want a clean slate but it's really just an excuse, I know. I'm really scared of marriage. It works for some people but maybe not me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 12:54:38 GMT -5
You're completely right, Rick. This is why we can't discuss religion - people like to tell others that what they believe (a belief - NOT a fact) is wrong. I'm not going to tell a Dem or Repub that what they think is wrong - I just present my viewpoints and agree to disagree. Why can't we do that here? Beliefs aren't right or wrong by nature - they are akin to opinions. Last comment on old stuff - I think there's a big difference between telling people that what they believe is "wrong" and stating YOUR OWN belief that someone else's belief is causing greater harm to society. the difference isn't as big as you may think. I know that the intent may be good, but it really does come across as "what you believe is wrong". People rarely respond well to those types of assertions.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jul 5, 2012 13:00:43 GMT -5
...:::"I'm sorry about your grandmother. And I'm sorry that your wife isn't willing to support you at her funeral. And I'm sorry your grief has become a bargaining chip.":::...
I'm sorry you have an agenda. I'm sorry you lack reading comprehension skills. If you'd read clearly you'd seen that there WAS NO FIGHT or ill will. It was not important to me to have DW at this funeral. Yeah I could have made her go (or asked her in such a way that she knew she couldn't say no) but I gave her this one.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:03:53 GMT -5
You're completely right, Rick. This is why we can't discuss religion - people like to tell others that what they believe (a belief - NOT a fact) is wrong. I'm not going to tell a Dem or Repub that what they think is wrong - I just present my viewpoints and agree to disagree. Why can't we do that here? Beliefs aren't right or wrong by nature - they are akin to opinions. Last comment on old stuff - I think there's a big difference between telling people that what they believe is "wrong" and stating YOUR OWN belief that someone else's belief is causing greater harm to society. the difference isn't as big as you may think. I know that the intent may be good, but it really does come across as "what you believe is wrong". People rarely respond well to those types of assertions. And worded so much nicer than I would have.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jul 5, 2012 13:04:21 GMT -5
...:::"You have to be fucking kidding me?!?!":::...
I'm not kidding one bit. As I said earlier, I'd only take this stance in an extremely severe situation (mom, Dad, sister, and maternal grandparents really). Anything else, we can negotiate. But if she were to give me ANY hesitation in the presence of one of those 5 funerals, then that really is unforgivable and "STFU and obey" will sound permissive compared to what she'd bring upon herself.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 5, 2012 13:06:44 GMT -5
...:::"You have to be fucking kidding me?!?!":::... I'm not kidding one bit. As I said earlier, I'd only take this stance in an extremely severe situation (mom, Dad, sister, and maternal grandparents really). Anything else, we can negotiate. But if she were to give me ANY hesitation in the presence of one of those 5 funerals, then that really is unforgivable and "STFU and obey" will sound permissive compared to what she'd bring upon herself. so what would you do to her?
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jul 5, 2012 13:07:10 GMT -5
Goodness... I have a lot to catch up on here. But since apparently I'm wrong to expect unquestioned obedience when I'm preventing a fire, or dealing with the death of an immediate relative, I can't wait to see what the rest of these posts say.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 5, 2012 13:09:28 GMT -5
Goodness... I have a lot to catch up on here. But since apparently I'm wrong to expect unquestioned obedience when I'm preventing a fire, or dealing with the death of an immediate relative, I can't wait to see what the rest of these posts say. could you please use the term cooperation instead of obedience? Obey sounds so, i don' tknow, douchey, maybe?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:21:01 GMT -5
What does that mean?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 5, 2012 13:22:32 GMT -5
I think it means he'll act like a douche to her.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:23:06 GMT -5
How will she know that she's in trouble, then?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 13:23:18 GMT -5
I'm sure it means that it's a hill he is willing to die on. Don't we all have areas where there is zero compromise? I mean I'm divorced because I wasn't willing to live with a cheating drug dealer/user. The fact that I gave up financial security to get divorced wasn't even on the table, it's the hill I would die on.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:23:55 GMT -5
How will she know that she's in trouble, then? MEOW!!!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 5, 2012 13:26:06 GMT -5
I'm sure it means that it's a hill he is willing to die on. Don't we all have areas where there is zero compromise? I mean I'm divorced because I wasn't willing to live with a cheating drug dealer/user. The fact that I gave up financial security to get divorced wasn't even on the table, it's the hill I would die on. my husband not going to my mom's funeral would probably be a hill i'd be willing to die on, too. however, phrasing it that he would pay for what he brought upon himself is pretty freaky.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:26:44 GMT -5
How will she know that she's in trouble, then? MEOW!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:27:07 GMT -5
I think it means he'll act like a douche to her. "what she would bring on herself" is pretty violent language.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 5, 2012 13:27:49 GMT -5
You can feel pretty vindictive if pushed to it. I can think, imagine, and plot all kinds of gleefully bad scenarios to those who "done me wrong!"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2012 13:29:24 GMT -5
"what she would bring on herself" is pretty violent language. Meh, it just sounds violent because it was translated from Klingon.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 5, 2012 13:29:28 GMT -5
You can feel pretty vindictive if pushed to it. I can think, imagine, and plot all kinds of gleefully bad scenarios to those who "done me wrong!" thinking and actually doing are two completely different balls of wax. and I generally don't think of horrible things to inflict on my husband. most days.
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