Raising kids with religion: Yes or no?

[Deleted]

I would assume that if you are going to be a spokesperson for a certain religion that you generally accept and follow the teachings of that religion?

[Tennesseer]

Try being a nun and holding your tongue.

[gavinsnana]

May 11, 2012 14:33:55 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

As stated numerous times, I am a Christian. I believe in God and the teachings of the Bible. My faith is a big part of my life. But I've often wondered that, if I had kids and they didn't want to join me in church or in my beliefs, what would I do? Would I force them? Would I just back off? I have no idea. I'm interested in reading how others with children deal with this.

Normally, you raise your kids with your beliefs, when your kids grow up, get to an age to chose their own way, you let them.

Being raised in a Christian home is NOT brainwashing, as to the poster that posted that.!!!

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 18:47:57 GMT -5 gavinsnana said:

May 11, 2012 14:33:55 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

As stated numerous times, I am a Christian. I believe in God and the teachings of the Bible. My faith is a big part of my life. But I've often wondered that, if I had kids and they didn't want to join me in church or in my beliefs, what would I do? Would I force them? Would I just back off? I have no idea. I'm interested in reading how others with children deal with this.

Normally, you raise your kids with your beliefs, when your kids grow up, get to an age to chose their own way, you let them.

Being raised in a Christian home is NOT brainwashing, as to the poster that posted that.!!!

Passing on ones beliefs may not be brainwashing but you must understand that with the cult segment of religion where you have people killing themselves and their children in the name of their religion it does give the non - religious people more reasons to consider how closely belief, faith and "brainwashing" are connected. I can understand how a person could jump to this conclusion especially when it comes to the more vocal and fear based religions.

[Deleted]

Oh please! How many people have offed themselves in your neighborhood in the name of religion? Gimme a break!

[Deleted]

May 13, 2012 1:07:00 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Oh please! How many people have offed themselves in your neighborhood in the name of religion? Gimme a break!

I was talking about Jonestown, Heavens Gate, peoples temple,
Branch Davidians, and so on. Jones Town in particular was extremely alarming.

** And please note I did mention that this was the CULT segment of religion.

[Deleted]

Hey apple! Why are you up so late too!

[Deleted]

May 13, 2012 1:13:38 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Hey apple! Why are you up so late too!

lol, I dunno!
I should be sleeping but I'm just here annoying you.

[Deleted]

Quick! Let's drink some Koolaid! Grape or cherry? ;D

[Deleted]

May 13, 2012 1:16:09 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Quick! Let's drink some Koolaid! Grape or cherry? ;D

Grape, of course. ;D

[Deleted]

You can't annoy me! I am Un-annoyable!

[Deleted]

May 13, 2012 1:19:40 GMT -5 @shooby said:

You can't annoy me! I am Un-annoyable!

puuuuhlease! don't toy with me. I can annoy anyone.

[Deleted]

Not really. I seem to have a gift even when i don't even try! ;D

[Deleted]

May 13, 2012 1:27:14 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Not really. I seem to have a gift even when i don't even try! ;D

meh...okay you win.

[quince]

No, although I think their father might take them to a few churches/other places of worship to give them some information when they're old enough to understand.

I think the hardest thing for me will be if they choose to be religious as they find their own way- I know I need to be okay with it, but I expect it to hurt a bit.

I won't stuff atheism down their throats, but I am going to make sure no one pushes any other religion on them either- this includes the whole saying grace, making them go to church if they don't want to, etc. It's OK for them to participate if they want to, but I will not let someone pressure them into it. SO is on board, although on his own he's more likely to accommodate his parents, he will take my wishes into account.

[thyme4change]

I converted to atheism in the past 8 years or so. My husband landed more in the agnostic category. We were both raised by very faithful families. He's a PK, and my parents serve in a less formal role. God and both sides of our family have a long, close relationship - so us no longer participating in the ritual of church is devastating to everyone. Us not taking our kids to church is eternally horrifying for all their grandparents and several of their aunts and cousins. Also, our kids are very close with a neighbor who is also a devoted christian woman. Because of thse such important relationships around us having such strong faith, we have opted to stay as silent on the subject as possible. My kids occassionaly attend church with our neighbor, or with their grandparents. They haven't asked us too many questions yet. I intend to be honest about why I no longer believe, but hope to instill a spirit of respect and encourage them not to further upset the family by pouring salt in the wound.

I suspect that after our parents pass, and my kids are adults I'll get increasingly more honest with them about my negative feelings about the church, but for now, I just have the goal of teaching them respect.

[thyme4change]

I forgot to mention - my kids love going to church, because every church they go to serve donuts.

[Wisconsin Beth]

May 13, 2012 11:33:14 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I forgot to mention - my kids love going to church, because every church they go to serve donuts.

I bribe my daughter to behave in church with a donut. ETA she's 4 and is usually ok during Mass, except for potty trips every 5 minutes to explore the bathroom and the bubbler. If she keeps it to 2 trips or under, she gets a donut.

My Church does a Donut Sunday once a month (3rd Sunday of the month, I think) to encourage social stuff among us.

[Firebird]

May 12, 2012 10:25:22 GMT -5 @shooby said:

I don't think many parents are going to try to convince their kids to believe something they don't believe. But, if i want to teach my children "Hell" as a fact, that is my perogative to do so.

That's the part I disagree with, only because hell is not an objective fact, like gravity. It is only a theory which cannot be proven. So to put it on the same level as fact is to seriously mislead (at best).

I don't mean to offend anyone; frankly, I don't really see this part as all that debatable. Presenting opinion and theory as fact is disingenuous. And anything that requires faith to believe is, by definition, opinion and theory.

[Firebird]

A classmate of mine entered the religious life/convent right out of high school. Years later she was removed from religious life by the Catholic powers-that-be because she was an outspoken critic of the church's stand on abortion. She helped poor women secure abortions.

As sick as that sounds, I understand it. You can't be a part of an organization that considers something a mortal sin, and regularly take part in that sin.

I'm not saying that she didn't have the right to do what she was doing, only that I'm not surprised the Church would want to dissociate from her because of it.

[Deleted]

Gravity is only a working theory and it does not work in quantum physics, or in space. We need to make up mythical dark matter that you can't see, touch, or measure in order to explain out theory of gravity.

[Firebird]

Because of thse such important relationships around us having such strong faith, we have opted to stay as silent on the subject as possible.

Very wise.

I like the way you're handling the whole issue, Thyme.

[Deleted]

So this is what you people talked about after I left work on Friday! ;D

Religion is pretty much a non-entity in our house. We were both raised Catholic. DH hasn't "renounced" his religion (like I have ) but it is not very important to him either - as evidenced by the fact that neither of our kids is baptized. MIL used to try to guilt me about it (*snort*) and I told her why would I bother having them baptized in a church that I don't believe in?? I also told her that any further baptismal talk about should be directed at her son.

I am going to make sure no one pushes any other religion on them either- this includes the whole saying grace, making them go to church if they don't want to, etc. It's OK for them to participate if they want to, but I will not let someone pressure them into it.

MIL says grace when we have dinner over there and she has the kids say prayers before bed when they have sleepovers. It doesn't bother me either way. The kids know who Jesus is and that Christmas is his Birthday. They also know what Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Ramadan are too.

They have started asking me things like "who made trees?" and I'll usually answer that no one knows for sure and different people believe different things. Some think it was someone named god, some think it was someone named allah, some think they started growing all on their own.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 10:42:24 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Gravity is only a working theory and it does not work in quantum physics, or in space. We need to make up mythical dark matter that you can't see, touch, or measure in order to explain out theory of gravity.

Also notice how mathematics has "theorems", not laws.

[Firebird]

Okay, well, we can pick this apart to death I guess but for me there's a big difference between a provable "theory" and an unprovable theory.

When you can bring someone back from the dead to tell us what hell is like, then I'll consider it objective fact. Until then, what happens to us after death is simply a matter of opinion. So presenting one of those opinions as a fact is (IMO) wrong.

[kgb18]

Okay, well, we can pick this apart to death I guess but for me there's a big difference between a provable "theory" and an unprovable theory.

That's the thing about religion and faith. Faith isn't provable. Either you have it, or you don't. For people who have it, they don't need proof. For people who don't have it, you'll never be able to say anything to make them believe. That's sort of the long and short of it.

[Firebird]

Right, but telling a kid that they'll go to hell for not believing is kind of forcing them to have faith. That's my point. It isn't really faith in the traditional sense if you are coerced into believing something.

I do have a personal issue with this. I don't mean to offend but I have a very big problem with presenting religious doctrine as truth to small children who can't yet think for themselves. It creates major problems later if they decide that intellectually, they don't believe it anymore - childhood conditioning is very strong.

Sitting in the psychological dilemma of "intellectually I don't believe X is true" and "when I was little, I was told that if I didn't believe X then I would go to hell so I kinda have to believe it to avoid the possibility of hell" really sucks.

[kgb18]

It isn't really faith in the traditional sense if you are coerced into believing something.

I get that. I guess, even though I was raised going to church, I was never raised with the use of fear when it came to religion. Now, fear of my mom's backhand if we talked back is a whole different story ...

[Deleted]

If you truly believe in Hell and that if you don't believe that you are going to Hell, then any parent who does believe that would be a negligent and terrible parent NOT to try to teach their children to in that manner. So, how can you expect someone who accepts such teachings to NOT instruct their kids in that manner? That would be like knowing your child is heading for danger and not doing anything.

[Deleted]

May 14, 2012 19:44:10 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Right, but telling a kid that they'll go to hell for not believing is kind of forcing them to have faith. That's my point. It isn't really faith in the traditional sense if you are coerced into believing something.

I do have a personal issue with this. I don't mean to offend but I have a very big problem with presenting religious doctrine as truth to small children who can't yet think for themselves. It creates major problems later if they decide that intellectually, they don't believe it anymore - childhood conditioning is very strong.

Sitting in the psychological dilemma of "intellectually I don't believe X is true" and "when I was little, I was told that if I didn't believe X then I would go to hell so I kinda have to believe it to avoid the possibility of hell" really sucks.

You are treating your beliefs as truth and if you claim religion can not be proven, you are equally bound by the fact that it can't be disproven. 2 + 2 = 4. That is what I teach GW. If she decides she is uncomfortable believing that when she is older it won't mean it isn't true. It isn't my job to make her comfortable saying 2 + 2 = 5.