Taking your husband's last name

[Miss Tequila]

"If she keeps her last name, can I keep my money when we divorce? Seems only fair if we are going to break down traditional barriers that we truly put both people on equal footing (some states do this more than others). "

Why would you assume she would want your money? What I earn is mine and nothing more. IN the event of a divorce, I would never go after my husband for anything that is his. They aren't mine and I didn't earn them.

I hate when men assume all women want to take them to the cleaners.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Dr. POM or POM, Ph.d... How does it look?

Pretentious.

[reader79]

Or we can both just change our last name to Skywalker...

[Peace Of Mind]

May 11, 2012 14:17:29 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Dr. POM or POM, Ph.d... How does it look?

Pretentious.

But does it look GOOD pretentious?! ;D

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:17:25 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"If she keeps her last name, can I keep my money when we divorce? Seems only fair if we are going to break down traditional barriers that we truly put both people on equal footing (some states do this more than others). "

Why would you assume she would want your money? What I earn is mine and nothing more. IN the event of a divorce, I would never go after my husband for anything that is his. They aren't mine and I didn't earn them.

I hate when men assume all women want to take them to the cleaners.

Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to..

[Deleted]

I haven't read past page 3 yet, but...

With hyphenated names, if Jane Smith-Jones, married John Johnson-Green and wanted her maiden name hyphenated with her new husband's name, her name would become Jane Smith-Jones-Jonson-Green. And if they had children (Boy Smith-Jones-Johnson-Green and Girl Smith-Jones-Johnson-Green) who each married someone whose name was also hyphenated...well, you can see where that would go. Eventually. Ack!

And what's the first letter of the last name? How does that get alphabetized?

[Miss Tequila]

"Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to.. "

Is this another statistic like SF pulled from his ass???lol

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:17:25 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"If she keeps her last name, can I keep my money when we divorce? Seems only fair if we are going to break down traditional barriers that we truly put both people on equal footing (some states do this more than others). "

Why would you assume she would want your money? What I earn is mine and nothing more. IN the event of a divorce, I would never go after my husband for anything that is his. They aren't mine and I didn't earn them.

I hate when men assume all women want to take them to the cleaners.

while I would fight for some stuff that's ours, I wouldn't try to take things that are obviously his either.

[The J]

May 11, 2012 14:07:21 GMT -5 @craftysarah said:

re: lawyers
When I worked at a law firm, they told me that you always refer to the other lawyer as Esq. but not yourself. JD is the credential by the way (I always thought esquire meant land owner - I don't know where this weird circle jerk among attorneys who passed the bar originated - MDs don't get special titles when they pass their licensure exam). Same with that "Honorable" nonsense.

MDs get to be called doctor. JD is the credential, but Esq. is the title.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:20:35 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to.. "

Is this another statistic like SF pulled from his ass???lol

Statistics can be manipulated. What I say is fact..

[Peace Of Mind]

LOL!! DH was telling me how he heard on talk radio that if a couple has been married for at least 10 years that most judges in Florida will give a nice alimony to the wife in a divorce. I looked at him and said "Oh, you are so screwed!"

Before all you whiners about women being after a man's money start on me - I have my own damn money! But I'd take his too. I've been paying attention to the conversations here after all.

[swamp]

May 11, 2012 14:18:54 GMT -5 @mmc said:

May 11, 2012 14:17:25 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"If she keeps her last name, can I keep my money when we divorce? Seems only fair if we are going to break down traditional barriers that we truly put both people on equal footing (some states do this more than others). "

Why would you assume she would want your money? What I earn is mine and nothing more. IN the event of a divorce, I would never go after my husband for anything that is his. They aren't mine and I didn't earn them.

I hate when men assume all women want to take them to the cleaners.

Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to..

11

[Miss Tequila]

"while I would fight for some stuff that's ours, I wouldn't try to take things that are obviously his either. "

I guess it's easier for me...the only joint assets we own are household items...I cant' see either of us going to battle over the furniture..though his new 60 inch whatever the hell the new tv is would...but I wouldn't want it and I'm not spiteful enough to ask for it.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:22:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

May 11, 2012 14:18:54 GMT -5 @mmc said:

Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to..

11

I had already counted you dear. ;D

[swamp]

May 11, 2012 14:21:42 GMT -5 @mmc said:

May 11, 2012 14:20:35 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"Well, including you, that makes about 10 who don't want to.. "

Is this another statistic like SF pulled from his ass???lol

Statistics can be manipulated. What I say is factcrap..

Fixed.

[movingforward]

May 11, 2012 14:17:25 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"If she keeps her last name, can I keep my money when we divorce? Seems only fair if we are going to break down traditional barriers that we truly put both people on equal footing (some states do this more than others). "

Why would you assume she would want your money? What I earn is mine and nothing more. IN the event of a divorce, I would never go after my husband for anything that is his. They aren't mine and I didn't earn them.

I hate when men assume all women want to take them to the cleaners.

I would have no problem signing a pre-nup or a post-nup for that matter.

[swamp]

May 11, 2012 14:23:16 GMT -5 @mmc said:

May 11, 2012 14:22:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

11

I had already counted you dear. ;D

You forgot to pat me on the head, sweetie.

[Deleted]

I thought the title was "Counselor" or "Your Honor" or whatever?

I understand the convention, it just makes no sense. I think I'd actually find "Doctor" less weird.

[Miss Tequila]

" I would have no problem signing a pre-nup or a post-nup for that matter. "

If I were to divorce and remarry (I can't imagine ever remarrying, though!) I would demand a prenup for my own protection.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:23:11 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"while I would fight for some stuff that's ours, I wouldn't try to take things that are obviously his either. "

I guess it's easier for me...the only joint assets we own are household items...I cant' see either of us going to battle over the furniture..though his new 60 inch whatever the hell the new tv is would...but I wouldn't want it and I'm not spiteful enough to ask for it.

your names aren't both on the house you live in?

[Miss Tequila]

"your names aren't both on the house you live in? "

Nope..I own two houses in florida and he owns that one. He bought that one with the proceeds from the house he inherited. We thought about it but I really do not want to go down the path of comingling our finances again. Plus, it's his house so he pays for everything!lol

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

And what's the first letter of the last name? How does that get alphabetized

My maiden name starts with B, DH's last name starts with W. I am still listed in the B's. I can type in just my maiden name and I will pop up in the system here at work and I am stil listed under B in the phone book.

I generally only use my full legal name when I have to.

I still largely use my maiden name, especially at work. I didn't change my email because it is a major PITA to get a new one, it was much easier to just keep it the same.

DH's family calls me and sends me stuff with "Mrs W" on it and I don't say anything. It isn't worth making a stink over.

Plus I wanted to bang my head on the wall when trying to explain to MIL my choice to hypenate. I'd rather not repeat that experience.

[telephus44]

When we were engaged, we actually talked about DH taking my last name. Mine is a family name and my sister and I will be the last ones with it - my father was the only son of the only son of the only son - and DH's father was adopted so his last name isn't as meaningful. However, my father wasn't thrilled with my choice of DH and was pretty obvious about it, so I ended up taking DH's.

I actually made my maiden name into a middle name - I hate hyphenating. What ended up being cool about that is that DH's last name is my mother's middle name - so I'm Telephus Smith Jones and my mother is Mom Jones Smith.

Plus, I also like the fact that DS and the new baby will have the same last name as us. Maybe it's part of the old fashioned streak in me.

[The J]

May 11, 2012 13:44:00 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

It is 2012. If you know the grave site of this 1400's relative, dig them up and DNA test.

To actually be sure I'm directly descended I'd have to dig up every single father, grand father, great grand father, great great grand father, etc., etc. going all the way back for over a thousand years. If one single woman lied at any point in that chain, I'm not a biological descendant of the family who bore my name way back when.

No you wouldn't. If your DNA was a biological match for the guy from the 1400s, that means you were biologically descended from him. All you would need to do is test your DNA against the first person who bore your family name.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:27:31 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

"your names aren't both on the house you live in? "

Nope..I own two houses in florida and he owns that one. He bought that one with the proceeds from the house he inherited. We thought about it but I really do not want to go down the path of comingling our finances again. Plus, it's his house so he pays for everything!lol

okay - whatever works!

[swamp]

DH's family calls me and sends me stuff with "Mrs W" on it and I don't say anything. It isn't worth making a stink over.

My family sends this to DH and I address "Mr. and Mrs. Swamp Lastname." DH has also been called Mr. Swamplastname. He has a sense of humor and will answer to it.

[Sum Dum Gai]

If your DNA was a biological match for the guy from the 1400s, that means you were biologically descended from him. All you would need to do is test your DNA against the first person who bore your family name.

Would that work going back that far? We're talking about a lot of DNA scrambling in the mean time.

[973beachbum]

May 11, 2012 12:55:16 GMT -5 swamp said:

May 11, 2012 12:50:52 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

This has come up at work a couple of times. My boss stated that when he got married about 25 years ago, he requested that his wife NOT hyphenate. He didn't care whose name she had but he thought hyphenating was a bad idea that would lead to lots of incorrect paperwork. Keep in mind this the late 80s in the Midwest. Yep, she hyphenated and had nothing but paperwork issues (apparently still does.)

I didn't change my name and still have paperwork issues because there are some people who cannot wrap their heads around the fact I didnt' change my name and call me Mrs. "Black" anyway. I don't care if you call me by DH's last name, but it's not my name and the pharmacy/doctor/accountant/whatever isn't going to find my records under B.

This is where i have problems also. I don't care that people call me Mrs DS's mom socially. I get that people assume that I changed my name so it is the same as my kids. But seriously how many years does their school need to stop being so damn surpised that I have a different last name?

[midjd]

Has anyone who feels strongly that the wife should take the husband's last name given a reason WHY? I still have yet to hear a justification.

[Deleted]

If you are looking at sons of sons of sons, it is the same Y chromosome getting passed down.