Zaire All About Nothing Journal

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: SAD
Subject: X-BFF

the more we speak the more I get filled in on what I've missed. she is still fighting to stay in her relationship? I got so frustrated trying to understand why is she doing that? my eyes watered up!

it's gotten to the point she's moving out getting her own place. her arguments have gone past yelling and screaming at each other to long 40 minutes, an hour, and hour and a half of yelling and screaming at each other.

is this what a relationship supposed to be? this is how people communicate? maybe it's the passion? If so I now see why members say I need to break up with my GF.

it feels sooo fantastic to speak to her again, even though - I'm sad that she still wants to be with this guy so I'm gonna loose her again eventually - I guess? no I'm sure I'll loose her. so I really shouldn't get too attached that she wants me back now.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

it feels sooo fantastic to speak to her again, even though - I'm sad that she still wants to be with this guy so I'm gonna loose her again eventually - I guess? no I'm sure I'll loose her. so I really shouldn't get too attached that she wants me back now.

For Pete's sake, Z. I can't keep quiet any longer. Man up and grow a set. You have a live-in girlfriend NOW (who I assume you're also sleeping with). Why don't you man-up and tell her you're obsessing about another woman (one who obviously is with someone else and not even looking to be with you). You also obsess about women where you work and even ask how to meet women at the park, or mall, or wherever.

When are you going to be honest with your live-in and let her know you're never going to grow up and commit to a serious, mature relationship? Live by yourself if you want to dog around, and let current live-in G/F go so she can find a real man to be with who'll respect her and not pull this kind of crap behind her back.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Offended
Subject: Zaire

DANG PETE!!
I'm so shocked I don't know how to respond to such a comment SL!
I'll just let it go as you're delusional and misinformed. (again)
I'm a bit of a chatty guy and information is getting confusing to you.
I can see that - no worries

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Little Sleepy
Subject: Breakfast



Breakfast is served


YUM ;D

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Excited
Subject: Fast Day

where has today gone!
I last looked at the time this morning and now it's after 1PM!
I got really nothing much done here at work.
Boss came by and gave me a project to work on.
Then I put a spin on it as I have to collect signatures from the team.
Then BOOM!!
it's now after 1PM!

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Good
Subject: Lunch


enjoying pizza a cool drink of Smurf Tea!

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Excited
Subject: Fast Day

where has today gone!
I would say I had focus...but then again maybe I really didn't ?
this week I've been stuck? I'm sitting at my desk basically frozen.
I have managed to keep the email inbox down between 3 and 17 messages.
then I would answer an email and just sit there frozen like at my desk.
just thinking about stuff......cars, money, errands, GF, cleaning, etc.
then I come out of my trans and 30 minutes to an hour has past!

Today I got to work about 8:30 - answered two emails in 20 minutes - done.
got stuck in thoughts - then boss came around 9:30 and gave me an assignment and I worked that with getting stuck in my thoughts and next thing I saw it was after 11AM! that's an hour and a half gone. then next time I saw the clock it was 2PM! but in this time loss I was on the phone with my x-BFF for maybe an hour? no wait the first call with her was short. the second call with her was an hour. I'd say about 2:10 or 2:20 I went to our store on campus and was talking to the register lady. couldn't help notice how her bra must have been brand new or something cause her chest was wayyy perked up. Funny - I didn't notice her too much before she had her baby. pfft - off topic! LOL
so I talked with her for a while and she started closing up shop. I was like I thought you close at 3 - she said yea! it's 3! I'm like dam!
I get back to my desk. x-BFF called and I returned her call with a message. then she called me back and that was about 40 minutes to and hour, while I worked on the same assignment from this morning. then it was just after 4 and people start leaving out. I'm like dam I didn't do my timesheet and I wanted to place an order for supplies for the office. cause I was about to leave myself. the supply order didn't go through - I was distracted and it timed out. then I was like screw that I ain't do'n that again and did my timesheet.
then left for the day about 4:40

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Good
Subject: Male Admin

we had two big meetings this week! the other male Admin comes over and said his battery just died on his laptop and he will need mine to run the two day meeting! My brain instantly laughed followed with a FuckYou dumbass. you ain't get'n my new PC. you wouldn't know how to work it anyway!
LOL - all that went through my thoughts first. I said just bring your power cord to the meeting and you'll be fine. My Engineer I was talking to said the same thing - just keep it plugged up during the meeting. he was like OH YEA - good idea!
it's not just work wife and myself that laugh AT this guy! whatever - anywayz!!

I had a new Sales guy come to me and show me the white board the other male Admin ordered him. He ordered a 4 foot by 6 foot white board to hang on his cubical wall - ;D and this Sales guy is look'n at me like I think it's a bit too big. I'm just smiling close to laughing and thinking he probably went and just asked him can he get you a white board. so the salesman is now asking for my help!
I said well the white board has to be returned. you can one continue to work with him and order you another one or you can give that back to him tell him it's too big and I'll order you one. he said well I can work with him would you recommend that? I said you're new so you wouldn't know but this is no surprise with him he got the wrong size - that's just how he operates. so sticking with him will be a learning experience for him. so he said oh ok - he'll return the white board to the other Admin and wants me to order the correct one. I said ok good choice. then went to an empty desk and took the white board from there but he said that one is too small.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Good
Subject: New Work PC

I'm enjoying my new PC! I THOUGHT I covered myself when the tech came up to transfer the data. I knew about one program that wouldn't get transferred - because there was a desktop icon. But a Project Manager asked me for CD labels yesterday I was like DAMIT! I forgot about that program - I told him sure I just have to find the program and download it to my new PC. which was a bit of a task cause this new PC doesn't have a history of web sites and I don't remember where I got the program from? so that took a few hours to get that straight including deleting TWO programs I downloaded 1 of which I didn't even know I downloaded!! whew! internet is one scary place!

Also this week I couldn't place orders! and I was getting frustrated
I put in a request of my error! I can load my cart but when I click to purchase cart I get kicked out to log in screen! OK- I log back in and get an error message can't transfer to cart!
Helpless desk sends me a FIFTEEN page PowerPoint slide. I follow the instructions! NOTHING - Frustrated! I need to place an order. I give the order to the other male Admin WITH item numbers and amount cause other wise he would screw it up. Helpless desk then suggested to download Firefox. I download that and I'm able to put items in the cart and transfer the cart BUT CAN'T proceed to checkout! I shake my fist at my PC! like Dude what's the problem - LOL
so then I let helpless desk know what's going on and how I'm trying to use both Firefox and IE8 to get one order placed. Helpless desk send a reply in email for an agent to help me! Well...well....well I get a CALL from the agent that's gonna help me....at.....5:03PM!!! I was so freak'n HAPPY I didn't leave at 5PM and was working on that CD label task! I saw the Indian name on the screen and answered HA! I'm still here! LOL ;D yes he was completely confused over my answering reaction. fortunately he was able to fix the problem in just a very few short clicks!!

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Laughing
Subject: Sarcasm at work

I have decided to be sarcastic for a while to see how this works out for .....say....troubled employees.

I delivered mail to a Sales Manager. the envelop felt like there was a credit card in it. Now this guy refused a desk set up because he is used to working from home and all he has is a laptop at home so that's all he wants at work. ok fine no problem I put his stuff in our stockroom. so everyday he has to come in and plug in all these wires!
I take the envelop and put it under his keyboard with the top of the envelop sticking out AND it's after 3:30 close to 4PM. I leave him a message on voicemail I left your mail from Fleet under your keyboard at your desk in the office.
the next day he walks by my desk - first thing in the morning - with coffee in hand. got your message Zaire -I'll go check it out. he comes right back - the envelop is not there! I smile almost laugh cause I know it's there! either 1-when he first got in he took the envelop and put it in his bag or 2-didn't look under the keyboard.
so I said it's not there? ok
then finished answering / talking to my Tech. This Sales Manager is really NOT my problem - I mean he's in a different department I'm NOT required to assist.
so now I'm done with my Tech and tell this Sales guy - ok you looked under the keyboard and it's not there? he said yea it's not there. I refuse to go to his desk. So I said ok then you'll have to report the card stolen!
he said STOLEN?! I said yes - the card is not there? I put it under your keyboard late last night and it's first thing in the morning. someone came by and took it. so Fleet needs to know to cancel the card and order you a new one. HE SAID - that doesn't make since! why would someone take my gas card from my desk. I said I know? but the card is not there so I know I put it on your desk yesterday and you confirmed you got the message - because I picked up the phone at your desk, so I know I didn't leave it at the wrong desk. He said no I'll wait maybe someone took it by accident? I'll wait to see if it's returned? I said no why wait? it was pretty much under your keyboard with the top sticking out so you can see it once you get to your desk. so someone else was looking around your desk and took it. so he walks back saying no I'll wait a few days.
seconds later he comes back Zaire found it! holding it up in the air like a prize and happy. I said OH thank goodness! I wasn't gonna ask - BUT hay what the hell I asked!
so where was it? I was betting on in his bag!
he said it was under the keyboard - he was looking for a bigger envelop!

[weltschmerz]

he said it was under the keyboard - he was looking for a bigger envelop!
-------------------
And then what happened? Don't leave us in breathless suspense......

Didin't you post this same story about a month ago?

[weltschmerz]

Mar 13, 2012 22:19:07 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

Mood: Offended
Subject: Zaire

DANG PETE!!
I'm so shocked I don't know how to respond to such a comment SL!
I'll just let it go as you're delusional and misinformed. (again)
I'm a bit of a chatty guy and information is getting confusing to you.
I can see that - no worries

I'm beginning to suspect you're suffering from multiple personality disorder, and your different personalities don't know about each other.

[Opti]

Mar 13, 2012 20:16:22 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

it feels sooo fantastic to speak to her again, even though - I'm sad that she still wants to be with this guy so I'm gonna loose her again eventually - I guess? no I'm sure I'll loose her. so I really shouldn't get too attached that she wants me back now.

For Pete's sake, Z. I can't keep quiet any longer. Man up and grow a set. You have a live-in girlfriend NOW (who I assume you're also sleeping with). Why don't you man-up and tell her you're obsessing about another woman (one who obviously is with someone else and not even looking to be with you). You also obsess about women where you work and even ask how to meet women at the park, or mall, or wherever.

When are you going to be honest with your live-in and let her know you're never going to grow up and commit to a serious, mature relationship? Live by yourself if you want to dog around, and let current live-in G/F go so she can find a real man to be with who'll respect her and not pull this kind of crap behind her back.

SL, him talking to his xBFF doesn't bother me at all. I guessed correctly that she wanted him back as a friend and while he apparently wants more she doesn't so nothing untoward should happen. Odds are her man is the jealous type and she gave up being friends with Zaire to make him happy. Now that things are going bad with her guy she's not worried about offending him and probably wants Zaire as a friend to get the male perspective and to just talk to.

I don't expect Zaire to change, I don't think he's the type to risk being alone so he'll either stay with GF or find someone like him who is perhaps always looking for the next best person to be with.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Mar 16, 2012 23:23:18 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

Mood: Excited
Subject: Fast Day

where has today gone!
I would say I had focus...but then again maybe I really didn't ?
this week I've been stuck? I'm sitting at my desk basically frozen.
I have managed to keep the email inbox down between 3 and 17 messages.
then I would answer an email and just sit there frozen like at my desk.
just thinking about stuff......cars, money, errands, GF, cleaning, etc.
then I come out of my trans and 30 minutes to an hour has past!

Today I got to work about 8:30 - answered two emails in 20 minutes - done.
got stuck in thoughts - then boss came around 9:30 and gave me an assignment and I worked that with getting stuck in my thoughts and next thing I saw it was after 11AM! that's an hour and a half gone. then next time I saw the clock it was 2PM! but in this time loss I was on the phone with my x-BFF for maybe an hour? no wait the first call with her was short. the second call with her was an hour I'd say about 2:10 or 2:20. I went to our store on campus and was talking to the register lady. couldn't help notice how her bra must have been brand new or something cause her chest was wayyy perked up. Funny - I didn't notice her too much before she had her baby. pfft - off topic! LOL
so I talked with her for a while and she started closing up shop. I was like I thought you close at 3 - she said yea! it's 3! I'm like dam!
I get back to my desk. x-BFF called and I returned her call with a message. then she called me back and that was about 40 minutes to and hour, while I worked on the same assignment from this morning. then it was just after 4 and people start leaving out. I'm like dam I didn't do my timesheet and I wanted to place an order for supplies for the office. cause I was about to leave myself. the supply order didn't go through - I was distracted and it timed out. then I was like screw that I ain't do'n that again and did my timesheet.
then left for the day about 4:40

It's amazing you still have a job there. You just spent that entire day either on the phone (personal calls) or daydreaming.

[Opti]

While I'm not sure I'd fit in, I think I'd like to work there. Zaire is paid pretty well for a non-executive supporting admin and I could handle anything he's mentioned thus far. Maybe I could supplant one of the bad male admins.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Funny
Subject: Reply

Mar 17, 2012 2:58:57 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

he said it was under the keyboard - he was looking for a bigger envelop!
-------------------
And then what happened? Don't leave us in breathless suspense......

Didin't you post this same story about a month ago?

weltschmerz? I'm surprised you read this crap!!
crap - cause I'm sure that's how you see it!

Too funny! tears in my eyes.
no I didn't post that - it happened ....Hmmm?
a week ago?

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Surprised
Subject: Reply

Mar 17, 2012 14:36:56 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

It's amazing you still have a job there. You just spent that entire day either on the phone (personal calls) or daydreaming.

YUP!
I'm surprised you understood that?

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Curious
Subject: Who's looking

I know this section doesn't get much action with members. Now that I found out about the New Topic button, I see how members navigate over to this section. BUT once the subject is pushed OFF the New Topic I would think it's long forgotten about until the next post. But still that's NOT the case. A very few members know about this section and come back here and post - then their popular name is left as last to post - which sparks other members to see what's going on. Hmmm... yea - I think I can see that!
Then MOST just read the thread and don't say anything.

So I've been looking at the numbers of our little section here and we are bigger than healthy living. IMO

I wrote down 277 8:28PM and 303 11:19PM same day for this journal
Hmmm..... 26 members in a roughly 3 hour period. who is reading this?
well since there are no cops assigned to this area I figure at most 4 cops come by police the area once post reply is hit - well definitely 3 cops.
you know to make sure the members are safe from me
22 remaining - then there is the MOB -a group of members dedicated to Z patrol. with 4 chief members and the rest MOB members number flexes depending on the day -so this was a Tuesday so I'd say from 22 down to 18 and I'll throw in 3 more MOB members. 15 remaining LOL - this is fun!
Hmmm......fifteen, fifteen.....who's left?
OH I do have friendlies 2 have ...no wait.....4? have shown themselves but there are more so say 11 and I'll throw in 3 more.
Leaving 8 ....I'll say the 8 are members wandering around and got caught in the New Topic button looking for something to read cause my name is on the title and my name was last to post in those 3 hours. that would be pretty specific to look here to see what's going on

[weltschmerz]

weltschmerz? what brings you back here?
I'm surprised you read this crap!!

Too funny! tears in my eyes.
no I didn't post that - it happened ....Hmmm?
a week ago?
-----------------------
This is priceless! No, you didn't post that....and yet there it is, dated February 29th. It must be magic.

[femmefatale]

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Funny
Subject: Talking in circles

Mar 18, 2012 10:11:41 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

weltschmerz?I'm surprised you read this crap!!

Too funny! tears in my eyes.
no I didn't post that - it happened ....Hmmm?
a week ago?
-----------------------
This is priceless! No, you didn't post that....and yet there it is, dated February 29th. It must be magic.

it's not posted in this journey - but thanks for looking around for me
anything to try and make me look bad right welts? you're too kind

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Curious
Subject: Friendships

there have been discussions among members of how men and women can't be just friends. from the looks of it - I forgot for a moment my treatment is different from other members so actually it's members think I can't be just friends with the opposite sex. well it's true my x-BFF and I are friends and that's how I think of her.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Surprised
Subject: Reply

Mar 17, 2012 14:36:56 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

It's amazing you still have a job there. You just spent that entire day either on the phone (personal calls) or daydreaming.

GOT IT!! got it now
ok
I had to change my focus and think negative and oh I see why you understood it.
so since you understood that you'll love this one!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Zaire, I'm going to give you a bit of advice - even though you probably won't take it.

If you're going to put your personal life and all your waking thoughts on a message board, you're going to get responses. Not all of them are going to be what YOU want to hear or think you should hear. You've posted a lot about your job and personal life - most of it things that are easy to fix. Some people have actually TRIED to help you, but you refuse to listen to anything anyone has to say, and then you get angry. Days later, you're back complaining about the same things all over again.

I'm going to make ONE suggestion - you can take it or leave it. (No doubt you'll ignore it). If you want to write down your thoughts and keep track, use whatever document program you have on your computer. Open a new document and title it the same as here. Then when the mood strikes you, add to that document and write things there and update it. That way you'll have it all in one place for you to review, like a private Journal (diary) and you won't be open to any responses or criticism.

As long as you post it all here, you're not going to be able to stop anyone else from commenting, or control what they say. If you're not going to follow any advice that's been given or even listen to what people are trying to tell you, then don't put it out there for the world to read.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Funny
Subject: Sarcasm Backfire

third try at sarcasm and it back fired!
I sent a Tech his credit card statement to his home. He has to send the statement back with the receipts and I provide an envelop prepaid to send it back. But he was last hired so maybe he didn't know what to do. So I called him and left a message with instructions for returning. He calls back and said he didn't take the training class so I didn't give him his card. At the time I remembered he didn't take the class. well he didn't take the first two classes. But if I didn't give him the card how are there charges? I said I didn't give you your card? he said no. I asked well how were charges made? Your card is not here at my desk? he said he placed orders through me and the other male admin. I said ok I remember you wanting some items. But I didn't remember placing an order for him and since he just mentioned ordering with the other admin I figured he placed the order with him.
So I told him well you don't have your card and I don't have your card and there are charges on it - guess it was stolen. he said well I'm sure you have it - maybe you charged on it? I said - ok then I'll check with the card Administrators to see if they can tell me what was charged. but I will still need the statement returned that I sent to your home. he said ok - let me know.
for the past few months I've been keeping on top of my job and my desk is ok - not as messy - not too messy and I can see my desktop as it is not covered with lots of paperwork. so I looked around at first glance and didn't see his card on my desk. then I moved / looked under a pile of paperwork and WHOOPS! there is his card in an opened envelop. I smiled and was like dam! so I did place an order using his card.
Still had no idea what was charged and from where. I call him back and said
I made a mistake and found your card on my desk - but I still need the statement to see what was charged and provide a receipt.
Tech comes to my desk a few days later with statement in hand. I'm like dam I have no memory of doing this. I look in my receipts folder and yup there is the receipt.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Concerned
Subject: out the door

SL your Moderator signature is not in that post.
so I would think before you ban me for not following the rules or
ban me for not following another warning your moderator signature should be listed.
Otherwise to me... IMHO it looks like you're posting into a thread as a member.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

My post #62 is my own personal opinion, Zaire, just like anyone else's here - not a moderator request. I was trying to give you a little suggestion so you could keep track of your thoughts privately since you're not willing to listen to anything anyone has to say.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: relieved
Subject: public invite

Thank goodness cause I read something else going on.
I don't have a problem posting personal
I'm simply posting my day as I would share with a friend in person
the stuff posted about work has already happened - so how ...
what I don't understand is why other members post the same thing
they get hand holding and compliments and hey lets sing a song
and it's the same stuff I post and I get told I'm....wait I forgot
I know I can't control the negative opinions nor want to
OH I'm told I'm miserable with every aspect of my life.
that's soo not true! but that's what's posted about me
and that's the general thought about me with the members
and posted by a popular member so of course when the popular members say something and it's taken as truth.
I don't have a problem with members posts there .....dislike for me
I don't see it any differently that speaking to someone in person saying it to my face.

[diamonds]

Now, I have not read the thread, only bits and pieces as I am not interested in a person's private diary. However, for another poster to come in and start calling someone dysfuctional or crazy, etc. is not kosher. If they choose to open up their feelings to the public for whatever reason, maybe it is normal to them or just a venting process. If you don't want to read it, move on.

[ZaireinHD]

Mood: Normal
Subject: help offered

work stuff posted has already happened. so I don't know what help I'm supposed to be asking for. work stuff posted is most likely something I've already gone over with work wife as we shake our head at the employees we have to work with. I feel that I can share these stories here. They are funny to me. but I get I'm miserable at work? No far from the truth. I told the Sales envelop story to 3 co workers during a time they were venting about an experience they had. everyone laughed. I post is here and I'm looking for help or I'm angry, or upset, or miserable. NO - I didn't use caps, bold, underline, not yelling or cursing. but I'm miserable?
that's why I thought of the mood and subject for some posts. guess it's not working? and still ....I'm accused of being angry ALL the time. no not true - accused of NOT taking the help provided. when I ask for help I use the help and I post thanks and I post out come of how I was helped. and STILL I get I don't use the help given to me? why is that?
creating this entire Journal was a suggestion...
other members don't have to go through such explaining when asking for help and posting results.
other members don't get insulted first before getting advise
other members can post their day share with us and it's seen just as that - sharing
but I do that and I'm reaching for help or I'm angry
other members can and have started threads and long running threads to vent
but when I do it - member don't post in it - ok fine I'll post in it

I'm here just like everybody else having a conversation with members